Tuesday, 5:50 p.m., Connecticut Turnpike, Riverside, CT
Jake
I play Erin’s message for the third time on my car’s Bluetooth, cursing under my breath. It was buried behind dozens of unwanted calls, mostly from reporters in search of ‘a few comments.’ That’s why I didn’t find it sooner. Her voice sounds choppy, like she’s fighting back sobs.
“I, um, really need to talk to you, Jake. I… I just don’t know what to do. Please call me.”
I pull into a service area to check the rest of my messages. Erin’s left five texts over the past three hours, all saying pretty much the same thing: PLEASE CALL ME.
What the hell is going on?
Heart pounding, I dial her number. She answers on the first ring.
“Jake! Thank God it’s you! I was afraid you didn’t get my messages.”
Something’s definitely wrong. Her voice sounds strained, the tone all high-pitched and breathless, like she’s been running. Or crying.
“What’s going on?”
After a long silence, she tells me she’s in trouble. That she’s done something terrible.
I grip the steering wheel as the words hit me. What is she saying? Did she have something to do with Jean Clark’s death?
I bite down on my lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. “Slow down, Erin. It’s okay. Just tell me what happened.”
She whimpers like she’s in physical pain. “I can’t! I – I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking. I never should have run away, but I didn’t know what to do. He said…”
She trails off into sobs, leaving me to ponder those two terrifying words.
He said.
Stay calm. Don’t jump to conclusions.
“Erin?” The windshield wipers thrum to the beat of my heart. “Did you do something to Jean Clark?”
“No!” she gasps. “Not me!”
“Then who?”
“I –” Her voice cracks. “I’m so sorry Jake, but I just can’t!”
“You saw something. Someone you weren’t supposed to see.”
Silence.
“Listen, Erin: everything’s going to be okay. You just have to talk to me.”
More silence.
“Erin! Are you still there?”
Goddamn it, she’s disconnected! But no… I can still hear her sobs, muffled like she’s pressing the phone up against her body.
“Please! I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me!”
The receiver rustles and moments later, she’s back on, her voice a rushed whisper: “It was after… when you’d gone to the hospital. I –” She chokes back another sob. “I went back to the room to clean up, and that’s when I saw him. He said he didn’t want any misunderstanding, that it didn’t really matter anyway because it would be his word against mine. No one would believe me. He said if I helped him…” She sniffs miserably. “He’d make it worth my while.”
“Who –”
A car honks and I swerve back into my lane.
“Who said that? Was it Roy Caulder?”
After three agonizing beats of silence, she begs me not to make her say his name. Not over the phone.
“Why? That asshole can’t hurt you, Erin! Just tell me what you saw!”
“I’ll – y-you don’t understand! I just can’t! Listen, I have to go.”
Don’t let her hang up!
“No! Please don’t! I’m sorry. You’re right. Let’s not talk about this over the phone. Can we meet somewhere?”
A long pause as she considers this. Then a whispered “Where?”
“Um…” My mind scrambles for a non-threatening place. “Should I come to your apartment?”
“Nooo!” she shouts, like I’m crazy for even suggesting this. “I’m staying somewhere else right now.”
“Okay… then where?”
After some back and forth, we agree to meet in front of the Avon Theatre on Bedford Street, in half an hour.
Once Erin has disconnected, I realize she’s picked one of the busiest locations in Stamford, a city block crammed with popular restaurants and bars. It’s a place where someone could easily blend into the crowd.
Where a terrified person might feel just a little bit safer.
It’s hard to imagine what kind of stress could have turned sunny Erin into the panicked young woman who just got off the phone. But then I picture the sinister flicker in Roy Caulder’s eyes. His cruel sneer.
What if Erin did catch him red-handed in Jean Clark’s treatment room?
I review what I already know about the man.
First, he’d try to buy her silence. And if that failed? Just how far would he go to make her keep their secret?
Sobered by that thought, I step hard on the accelerator.
*****
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Chapter 26-27
These two chapters move so damn quick there gray Martin.
I couldn't stop for the review of chapter 26 and even so, it would be too short.
My hear was racing for the last two chapters and I eagerly await more.
Hats off to you.
Nothing else to add nit subtract or suggest.
Aha Gray!
You told this huge plot point, which occurred outside his presence, from Jake's POV without head- hopping and it WORKS! Really well!
So did Roy do something to the body or to the drug? He was in he room AFTER Jake went to the hospital - hmmm. I can't figure this one out, Doc! I'm under your spell! And Erin's alteration was shown beautifully (except for two POV swaps: 'sniffs miserably' and 'as she considers this' neither of which are in his head).
Nice job!!!
: )
Terri
Hi Gray,
I'm yelling...DON'T GO UNTIL YOU TELL SOMEONE!! I feel this could be a set-up. I hope not, but it is possible. For me, the story is so good, I don't notice the pov shifts. There is a rule that says you can shift povs if the information is crucial to the story line...at least that's what my editor friend tells me. They do shifts in romance novels all the time because of that rule. So, they didn't bother me one little bit.
One more to go.
~Ann
Hey Gray,
I'm thinking Erin is a dead woman, and Jake is on the way to the hit. Enter cops. This could get dicey for our good doctor. Thankfully I have another chapter to read this morning. The story is cooking with gas now. And all roads lead to Jake, from the quintessential sociopath to the governor, everyone wants a piece of Jake.
No! Please don't! *Please don't! sounds more like a plea than an exclamation. what about. No! Don't hang up!
later, nathan
Ok...its coming together. But, will Erin survive long enough to tell him? Will anyone believe any of it? Jake has to get off the hook, but this thing is gonna be huge. And will Jess and Jake get back together after all this, or will it be an amicable separation because Bree/Kristy will come clean, and she and Jake really can make it, and she deserves a break because she had such a tough childhood...
Maybe I've been doing this for too many hours today? Anyway, still intrigued, want to see this through to the end.
Gray...First, sorry its been so long since my last review. Was down the shore trying to get our house back in order since the hurricane. No internet yet so I fall behind on my online reading. Anyway, back to your book. Loved this chapter. It was fast and built up the tension and excitement in a very natural way. I could feel Erins confusion and fear and it keep me on the edge of my seat. Very nice job there. Am moving forward to next chapter and will try to catch up this week. Thanks for sharing...Denise
Hi Gray,
Either Erin is being used and is going to get snuffed OR she really is in it deep - like maybe working for Caulder for the big pay check - maybe getting a little something on the side from Caulder as well . . . oh yuk...!!!
Another short but to the point chapter....!!
Happy Writng & Keep Smilin'... Jax
Hello Gray, I have two concerns with this chapter. First, as I've said before, I don't think the bond between Jake and Erin would be as strong as it seems to be if she had been working for him for less than a month. Second, unless I missed something along the way and Caulder has some medical or at least biochemical training, i don't think he would have the skills to be successfully messing with the equipment, setting Jake up and cleaning up the evidence. So, if I'm having these thoughts, why wouldn't Jake? Why isn't he starting to wonder if it is someone else more technically trained or if there is someone trained who is working for Caulder?
Hey, Gray - All right! The nurse is found! Now what/who did she see? I find it a little hard to imagine someone sneaking past the reception desk into the treatment area, then knowing which room Clark had been in, then - presumably - try to get rid of the evidence. And he'd have to know what room Clark was going to be in beforehand to plant the bad syringe. How many treatment rooms are there? Was there someone in the waiting room besides Caulder after the incident? Why is Erin afraid to say the name over the phone yet divulges the meeting place? So many questions - I've got to get to the next chapter! But first, one logistics nit:
- A car honked and I swerved back into my lane. {Jake had pulled into a service area, so when - and why - did he start driving on the road again?}
Take care,
Jack
Hey Gray
So sorry I bailed on you and this story. Life took me away from the site for a while. So, I don’t know if you are still working on this, but since you were so gracious to leave a review on my wip, I thought I should repay the kindness.
The good news is, I remember this story. I may have forgotten some of the nuances, but there are moments from the tale that are still with me. That’s a testament to your ability to build a memorable piece of work.
This was a great, albeit short, chapter. It’s brimming with excellent tension, and feels very forward moving in terms of plot. I might be a tad sketchy on the details, but I remember enough to know that a mysterious person lingering in the exam room after a code is pretty damn curious.
So my big question is maybe Erin’s setting him up. I hope not.
Nice handling of pov.
That’s all I’ve got.
Take care
LeeAnn
Hello, Gray. Yet another surprise!! But then RC is not one to take for granted in the least...hope that before this is all over, the bastard's quite dead. Too frickin' evil. He'd get along probably very well with CG of your book, Founders, lol. No doubt they rival AH and AC...
I'm doubting the meeting will happen...
Exciting and tense, Gray!
Peace,
Mike
Author
Reply
Yup, RC's a bad actor. I wanted my readers to wonder if he's the same person as the mysterious and creepy "Jogger," at least for some of the story. Take care, Gray
Short and sweet good tension. I don't know if we're supposed to think it's Caulder or not. Like I do think it's him, but it seems too easy. Like there's definitely something else at play here. I can definitely see how Erin would be terrified that she saw someone in the room and then a person ends up dead. Logistically, he couldn't have known--unless the boss' told him--who would end up in that room with the trial drug, so it was just bad luck on Clark's part, so I don't think she's a factor. I think he'd have been happy with any dead body. I'm also curious to see how he messed with the drug. Maybe someone told him what to do? He could be working with someone else too. Looking forward to figuring it out!
Lauren
Author
Reply
Glad you found this to be suspenseful. I tried to speed up the pace as we approach the climactic conflict of the story.
Gray
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