1:20 a.m., Greenbeck Dermatology
Jake
We don’t have much of a plan.
That’s all I can think as Kristy and I pull up to the curb in front of “Skin Perfection by Greenbeck.” Even at this time of night, the façade of Al and Nina’s medi-spa is fully lit, spilling colorful light onto the street like some gaudy casino on the Vegas strip. In stark contrast, the main office, which is set back half a block from Greenwich Avenue, looks dark and lifeless, its entrance obscured in shadows.
Like a steel trap, set to spring.
I kill the lights, letting the car roll closer. The parking lot is far from empty, since the Greenbecks lease out parking spaces for nighttime use. Still, Kristy has no trouble spotting her husband’s car.
“He’s already here,” she whispers, pointing to a dark BMW sedan.
The same sedan from the video, I realize, digging my fingernails into the steering wheel when I think of Jess. What if she’s still inside the trunk, or worse?
Kristy touches my shoulder, like she’s reading my mind. “Roy won’t hurt your wife.”
“How do you know?”
“Because having her gives him an edge. He’d never give up that kind of leverage. Not until he gets what he wants.”
“And once that happens?” I reach for the duffel bag tucked under my seat – the bag that contains my contaminated lab coat, thumb drive and hard copies of Harley’s protein analysis. Every last shred of evidence linking Roy Caulder to my patient’s death. “What then?”
“We’ll work something out,” Kristy answers, eyes darting back to the front entrance.
“You know that’s not true.” I hoist the duffel over my shoulder. “That bastard only wants us here for one reason. I’m supposed to die tonight, and you… you’re supposed to watch.”
“Well, I won’t just be watching.”
As she says these words, she pulls a handgun out of the glove compartment, then holds it up to the dashboard light to load. She completes the motion with one smooth wrist flick, like she’s done this kind of thing a thousand times before. Then she turns to me, eyebrows arched.
“You’re carrying a .357 Magnum, right?”
I nod, patting my jacket pocket.
“Ever fired it?”
I shrug. “A couple of times in the shooting range. Why?”
“Because it kicks like a mule. What kind of accuracy do you have?”
I frown, remembering how many times I missed the target. Truth is, I probably couldn’t hit the side of a barn.
“I thought so,” she says, reading my expression. “Take this.” She hands me her gun. “It's a Colt Diamondback. More accurate for a beginner, and easier to conceal.”
“Then what will you use?”
She grins before reaching into my pocket to take out the Magnum. “I’ve always wanted to shoot one of these. It’ll blow a hole right through that fucker. Here…” She leans over the gear box. “Let me show you how to work the safety on that Colt.”
Once I’ve gotten the hang of it, she pats me on the shoulder.
"How do you know so much about guns?" I ask.
"My dad was into personal safety. Wanted his girl to know how to defend herself." She smiles wistfully. "Some good that did me, right?"
"Well, it's coming in handy now," I admit, "but I still don't want you going inside."
"We've talked about this," she says in a firm voice. "I've got your back, remember?"
I nod, realizing there's no point in arguing with her. We don't have the time, and she'll do what she wants anyway.
“Good. You'll go in through the main entrance,” she reminds me, going over our rudimentary plan, “and I’ll follow you five minutes later, coming in from the side door. Here…”
She reaches into her jacket to hand me a key chain attached to a small metal canister. “Pepper spray. Just in case he pats you down and takes the Colt. When you get a clear face shot, use it to disorient him. Don’t worry. I’ll be right behind you. Now are you ready?”
She gives me a nod, eyes filled with steely determination. They're soldier's eyes. The kind of eyes that could kill.
Who is this woman?
It’s a thought that lingers as I watch her seconds later, slipping, cat-like, into the shadows.
Following our plan, I activate my stopwatch, then make a bee-line for the main entrance.
I peer inside. Nothing but darkness. The overhead lights are motion-activated, so that leaves three possibilities: Caulder’s not here yet, he’s inside but not moving, or he’s found a way to inactivate the sensors.
I get my answer when I enter my access code, then take a cautious step into the reception area.
The overhead lights stay dark.
He’s here.
I reach into my pocket to grip the Colt, thinking Kristy was right: he’ll probably try to pat me down. But not if I put a bullet in him first.
My eyes adjust to the dim emergency lighting, familiar landmarks rising from the darkness. Nursing station. Computer Monitors. Reception desk. Rows of waiting room chairs. Beyond reception, the clinical area looms as a dark, gaping space, illuminated only by the dull red glow of a few hanging exit signs.
I check my stopwatch. Three minutes inside. It’s time to announce my arrival.
“Caulder!” My shout echoes through the hallway like a thunderclap. “You wanted to talk, so here I am!”
A full minute ticks by with no response.
Then, just as I’m about to take another step forward, the hallway brightens. The change is barely perceptible, just enough to let me know a light’s been turned on somewhere deep inside the clinical area.
I approach the nursing station, gripping the handgun in my pocket like a talisman, something to ward off evil.
Five minutes inside.
“I have what you want!” I announce. “Now where’s my wife?”
My iPhone vibrates in response. It’s a photo of Jess, her head lolled forward, body duct taped into an exam chair.
I check the time stamp. Taken three minutes ago.
Bzzz. Another text.
GO TO THE NURSING STATION
I do as I’m told, realizing I don’t have much choice. Bzzz.
FOLLOW THE LINE ON THE FLOOR
I look down, horrified to find a red trail leading away from my feet.
God no! Jess!
I drop to the floor and run a finger through the crimson mark. The line won’t smear and smells toxic, like gasoline fumes.
Ink, not blood.
Calder’s toying with me. Well, let the sadistic fucker play his games. The longer he takes, the more time Kristy will have to get into position. She should be inside by now.
Jaw clenched, I follow the red line as it curves around the nursing station, then trails down the hallway into Pod Three.
Pod Three. The clinical area where I do all my Replacidin treatments. Where Jean Clark died, less than four days ago.
That’s what I realize as I follow the trail.
Caulder’s leading me to the same room where he murdered my patient.
It’s the same room where I know I’ll find Jess, guarded by the psychopath who wants to kill me.
I set down the duffel bag and pull out the Colt. Click off the safety, then creep toward the door.
Deep breath… hand on doorknob… now turn and…
I fling open the door and burst inside, gun drawn.
“Jess!”
Thank God she’s alive! But where’s Caulder?
When she sees me, Jess shakes her head wildly, straining against the tape that’s binding her to the exam chair. Her eyes dart to the right.
Trying to warn me, but not in time.
Before I can react, something solid strikes my head, blowing a fuse. The Colt skitters across the floor.
Now I’m down, gripped by a pain so intense it feels like someone just rammed a chisel through my skull. Thoughts come in fragments. Cover your head. Roll forward. Move before he hits you again. Where’s the gun?
I can’t escape. The next blow comes from Caulder’s boot, a vicious kick that lifts me clear off the floor. I tumble forward, terrified I might black out. One more head blow and I’m done.
But he doesn’t go for my head. Instead, he presses his boot heel to my neck, forcing my face into the floor. Frozen like that, the noises flood in. Jess’s muffled cries. Caulder’s cruel laughter.
I arch my back and kick at his shin, finding my mark. When he jumps back, I whip out the canister of pepper spray and hit him with a blast.
He ducks to avoid most of the toxic cloud, but enough reaches his lungs to make him cough and sputter. Enough to buy me the seconds I need.
I launch myself for the gun like a sprinter off the block. Grab the handle and spin. Both hands. Shooter’s stance. Now squeeze the trigger.
Pop!
The gunshot thunders in my ears, freezing Calder mid-charge.
Pop! Another round slams him into the wall and – Pop! – a third drops him to the floor.
I stare at the gun in my hand, time expanding like an overstretched rubber band, then snapping back to the present.
I just killed a man.
“Jake!”
I turn to the door to see Kristy standing there, gun drawn. Which one of us shot Caulder? I’m too dazed to know or care. All I know is the bastard can’t hurt us anymore. It's over.
“Is he dead?” Kristy asks, lowering the Magnum.
I nod, then run to Jess. She’s trying to say something as I tug on the tape to free her, her words still muffled. Frantic.
“Sshh,” I soothe. “It’s over, honey. It’s over.”
But then an image of Caulder’s body flashes to mind, sprawled out on the floor behind us. Something’s wrong. The silhuoette... it just didn't look right.
I flip on the wall light switch and stare at the dead man's body. Marine’s build. Closely cropped blond hair.
Who the hell did I just kill?
“Kristy…” I blurt. “This isn’t your husband.”
I focus on the stranger's thuggish face, and that’s when it hits me.
“Holy shit! It’s the guy from Boston.” Mouth hanging open, I turn to Kristy for confirmation. “You know, that asshole from the Gypsy Bar. The one who was hitting on you. I swear to God, it’s him!”
But then I realize something else makes no sense. There’s no blood. None on the floor. None on the body.
I stare at the gun in my hand, the one Kristy traded for my Magnum. There’s no way I missed all three shots.
“Kristy?”
She’s standing in the doorway, just staring at me, eyes swollen with guilt. Oh, no. No, no, no!
“Jesus, Kristy. What have you done?”
She bites her lip, looking away. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t want it to end this way.”
A split-second later, Jess gasps and screams: “Jake! Behind you!”
But it’s too late.
I don’t even see the blow coming.
***
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I peer inside. Nothing but darkness. The overhead lights are motion-activated, so that leaves three possibilities: Caulder’s not here yet, he’s inside but not moving, or he’s found a way to [inactivate] (deactivate?) the sensors.
Oh crap, Gray. I knew Kristi was bad news. I'm on to the next chapter...I can't wait!!
~Ann
Gray, I'm running out of adjectives for how good this is. More twists and turns than a Texas sidewinder. Most of my suggestions are purely subjective.
*I played with this paragraph: She gives me a nod, eyes filled with steely determination. They're soldier's eyes./Soldier eyes. The kind of eyes that could kill./The eyes of someone who could kill without hesitation.
It's a thought that lingers as I watch her [seconds later,] slipping[,] cat-like[,] into the shadows. *I thought the commas weren't needed and they seemed to slow down the pace.
* I wondered why Jake didn't pull his gun when he entered the building.
Computer (m)onitors.
..by the dull red glow of a few [hanging] exit signs. *thought the signs were probably attached to the walls, but maybe they are hanging from the ceiling.
I looked down, horrified to find/see ...
The clinical area where I do [all] my Replaciden treatments.
*don't think you need this sentence because it pretty much goes without saying: That's what I realize as I follow the trail.
I fling open the door and burst inside, gun drawn. (I see Jess.)
*I wondered how Jake could kick the guy in the shin when he's standing on his neck. Wouldn't he step alongside Jake's head before pinning his head to the floor?
*love this imagery: ..time expanding like an overstretched rubber band...
The silh(ou)ette...
*I thinking Kristy gave Jake a gun with blank loads, either that or the guy is wearing a bullet-proof vest.
later, nathan
Yes! I log on and there's another Trophy Wife Chapter. Keep me from my work, from my life, excellent.
And it IS excellent. I loved every single bit of this chapter. Kindof knew Kristy/Bree was gonna turn on him, why is she such a sharpshooter anyway? (As Jake asks).
But, why no blood? Ah, she shot him with blanks...so he's just out, not dead.
Love this sentence (paragraph): Like a steel trap, set to spring
suggestion: spilling colorful light, would you consider: colorful light spilling (teeny thing, its just that I flipped it in my head when I read it).
and: It’s the same room where I know I’ll find Jess, guarded by the psychopath who wants to kill me. The word guarded sounds protective to me, so it stopped me. Maybe held, tortured, some other word that has a more sinister connotation?
and: [NOW] FOLLOW THE LINE ON THE FLOOR. I would lose the NOW. Texting demands efficiency, every extra character is one too many.
But those are tiny and only my opinion. This is fabulous, but the edge of your seat writing!
Simi
Hey Gray,
Have to start calling you 'Action Jackson' with all that went on in this chapter... Really good suspense, and had me going back and forth with Bree/Kristy and which side of the fence she was really on... Didn't see the guy from the Gypsy Bar, though, just Jake and Caulder...!
Moving on... Next Page... Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Hey, Gray - Another rocket-paced chapter! As soon as Jake sees Caulder's car in the parking lot, I knew two bad guys were inside, since the jogger, or whoever, used the parking garage. And why would they have both a parking lot and garage? Anyway, I digress. Kristy's insistence on coming to the meet is clear now. And the gun switch - brilliant.
- {Why doesn't Jake draw his gun before entering the building?}
- ...but enough reaches his [lungs] (face) to make him [cough and sputter] (back off, coughing, hands pawing at his eyes0. {Although victims of pepper spray usually cough, the primary insult is to the skin and eyes.}
- ...the [siluoette] (silouette)...
Take care,
Jack
Hello Gray, from your little description it looks like I will have to read this chapter and the next one.
My first reaction here is to curse at Jake, he's so goddamned naive and taken in by Kristy. He lets her take his gun and replace it with one that is bound to have blanks in it. But regardless of all the things that have happened, he's completely taken in. Even when he realizes as they separate that she's not the person he thought she was, he still trusts her.
Later in the chapter I discover I was right about Jim the jogger Robbins.
And finally at the end he seems to realize that Kristy is not on his side.
Now I have to read the next chapter because I have no idea why Kristy and Jim are setting up this elaborate scene. I hope you have a good explanation sometime before the end.
Nit: [delete].
< Beyond reception, the clinical area looms as a dark, gaping space, illuminated only by the dull red glow of a few [hanging ]exit signs.> hanging is an unnecessary detail.
So, I've got a few comments here.
First, the action was great and your short paragraphs to ramp up the tension really worked. Kudos there. I also did not see the Kristy's switching the guns with one for blanks coming, and that's even with me having read the third person asides knowing she's involved in this. Think how much more shocked I'd be if those weren't there?
After reading this far I am convinced that the third person chapters are not the way to go, except perhaps for the prologue. As you probably saw from the other reviews, the scenes with the "jogger" capturing Jess confused readers. Sure, it artifically raised tension to a point, but I think they were not necessary. If you had kept them, an astute reader will have probably deduced the victim is not Caulder before Jake.
But if you don't have them, they will be shocked with the Jake. I think that's what you should strive for here.
Finally, a gun nit. The Diamondback came as a .22 and snub-nose .38. I Googled it, and it's out of production - not since 1988. I would assume she'd be using a .38 not a .22, because it has better stopping power and the snub-nose is easier to hide than the longer barrel of a .22. You might just say ".38 special" and not give a brand.
Gray….Once again, well done. Love how you make us believe that Kristy is on his side and it is very believable in their dialogue and actions. It was so believable that I had to actually reread that part to make sure that she really did double cross him. You handled the action perfectly with short choppy paragraphs and lots of built in tension. Moving forward to the next chapter….Thanks for sharing….Denise
Hello, Gray. Uh, yeah, Kristy/Bree... Things are definitely not looking good for the Goodwins. Having Caulder show up later dials this up even more... Kristy's eyes...guilt...for real? If she's not acting, then I'd say my prediction for her will come about... Would've been very nice if the bullets were real and if the target HAD been RC...but there's still time, of course...
Very cool, exciting chapter, Gray!!
Peace,
Mike
Glad you enjoyed this one, Mike. I think you guessed it right, that the thug in that Boston nightclub and Rollins are one and the same. I'm hoping when my readers reflect on it, they'll realize the Jogger/Rollins could have never been RC. Rollins is a sadistic and volatile hitman type. Caulder is the evil sociopath pulling the strings -- he'd never get his hands dirty with anything as vulgar as "wet work," but he still dropped in on Jake to size him up in person.
Ann Everett