Wednesday, 12:42 a.m., Merritt Parkway, North Stamford
Jake
I’ve driven this stretch of the Merritt Parkway so many times I know every curve, exit and stone bridge overpass by heart, but tonight, the ride home terrifies me. With each headlight that glares in my rearview mirror, I return to the same sickening thought: it could be him.
I could be next.
Even worse, he probably knows where I live.
Oh shit, Jess! I picture her, patiently waiting for me to come home. She’s probably asleep by now. Alone and vulnerable. What would happen if he came looking for me but found her instead?
Refusing to go there, I piece together the disturbing chain of events that led to this moment. That initial office visit with a beautiful, obnoxious stranger. Our next meeting, so confusingly different from the first. Then the chance run-in at the gym. The growing sense of attraction over coffee. That damn phone call in Boston.
I grip the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn white, picturing Erin’s limp body on the asphalt, and wonder if these events were all pre-determined – a sequence of dominos, neatly lined up and ready to fall.
But they didn’t have to fall.
At any point, I could have said no. I could have made the right choices, but instead, I let a monster into my life. If the unthinkable now happens – if Erin dies – then it will be because of my mistakes. Mistakes I keep on making.
That’s what I remind myself as I exit the Merritt, tires screeching onto High Ridge Road. A few moments ago, when Roberts offered me one last chance to come clean, I failed her test. I lied because the truth seemed too improbable, too likely to be met with suspicion. Now, there’s only one person left to trust.
She’ll need to hear the truth – all of it, down to the last shitty detail – and I won’t blame her if she reacts by walking out on me.
As I turn into our driveway, part of me almost hopes she does.
The house looks eerily dark, without even the faintest glow coming from the bedroom windows. I’m surprised, then, to find Jess’s Explorer parked in its usual garage space. Surprised until I’m struck by a terrifying thought: What if Caulder’s already here?
I kill the ignition and step out into the garage, sorting through the sounds around me. The metallic clicking of the car’s cooling engine. The steady drone of white noise coming from the AC unit. The faint chirping of crickets. All normal sounds for a warm spring night.
I take a deep breath before entering the mudroom. The alarm is off, but that’s not unusual. Nothing seems out of place. I step into the kitchen and flip on the overhead light, taking comfort in the sight of Jess’s Kate Spade bag, hanging on its usual hook by the door. Everything looks right. The chairs are neatly arranged around the kitchen table, the mail piled on the granite countertop, right where I left it. According to the microwave clock, it’s almost one a.m., which explains why the house is so quiet. Did I expect to find Jess up, making popcorn or playing the piano?
Still, as I kick off my shoes and head toward the stairway, I can’t shake the feeling something’s wrong. It’s in the air as I tiptoe upstairs, a stabbing anxiety that only gets worse when I crack open the master bedroom door.
Empty, our bed still made.
“Jess?”
Silence.
I yell her name, loud enough to be heard anywhere in the house. Still nothing.
Heart pounding wildly, I check the bathroom.
Empty.
Lunge into the hallway.
That’s when I notice the study door is closed. There’s a faint greenish glow coming from inside, filtering through the crack beneath the door. Chest aching, I reach for the knob. Turn it once, taking a deep breath before pushing forward.
“Jess?”
Relief washes over me when I find her inside. She’s seated in front of the computer screen, back turned to the door, her body so still she might be asleep, propped up in that position and dozing. I call out her name again, this time louder, feeling my concern turn into full-blown panic when she still doesn’t react.
“Honey? Are you okay?”
That’s when she tilts her head, ever so slightly, allowing me to see the source of the glow: a green-tinted video, playing on the computer screen like some sort of military mission shot in night vision. There's a torn envelope on the desktop and a thumb drive glowing in the computer's parallel port.
“What’s going on?” I ask, moving to her side. “What’s –”
But now that I can see the images up close, I realize with horror exactly what I’m viewing. What my wife has been viewing for God knows how long. It’s a sex video.
My sex video.
“I… that’s –”
Jess cuts me off with a single, brutal glance.
“Did you have a good time?” she asks, her voice strangely calm. “Was it worth it?”
Before I can even begin to come up with an answer, she rises from her seat, gathering her cell phone and car keys from the table.
“Jess!” I beg, reaching for her before abandoning the gesture. “Please let me –”
“Explain?” She shoots me a look of absolute, withering contempt – the kind of look, like some actions, that can never be taken back, never undone. “Listen, Jake: there’s nothing to explain. You’re the father of my children, so I guess I’ll always have to deal with you on some level. But we’re done here.” She creases her forehead to emphasize the point. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
I nod slowly, body wilting. At a moment like this, words seem so futile, but I grasp for something to say anyway. I tell her I don’t know why it happened, that I can’t even begin to explain my behavior. I say I was confused and frightened. That I felt completely alone when she left with the kids. That I was looking for a friend.
“A friend?” She laughs bitterly, jerking her head toward the screen. “Well, excuse me for being old-fashioned, but where I come from, friends don’t fuck friends! Who the hell is she, anyway?”
I tell her I met Kristy at work.
“So what? She’s a nurse? Some twenty-year-old receptionist?”
I shake my head.
“What then? Is she a patient?”
She says this almost as a joke, then must notice the look in my eyes, because she gasps in disbelief. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! You’re really having sex with one of your patients.”
I can’t bring myself to answer her, so instead, I look away.
“Well, that’s just beautiful, Jake.” She shakes her head in disgust. “What a classy move.”
“I know,” I say, feeling my throat tighten with shame. “There’s no excuse for what I’ve done. I’d do anything to take it back, but I can’t. I’m just so... sorry I hurt you.”
My words do nothing to soften her reaction. Crossing her arms stiffly in front of her, she tells me I have nothing to feel sorry for, that I’ve done her a huge favor because now, she can move on with her life.
“But –”
“There’s nothing you can say.” She moves toward the door. “This can’t be undone, so don’t even waste your breath.”
I know she’s right, but once my words start tumbling out, I can’t stop them. “It only happened once, right after we had that nightmare lunch in Boston. I’m not saying that’s an excuse but… I broke down when you left me. Everything felt so pointless. So…” My voice goes hoarse as I stumble for the right words. “Lost. But when you came back… when I realized we still had a chance, then I ended things. We both knew we’d made a terrible mistake.”
Jess’s mouth hangs open, her eyes daring me to continue.
“Anyway,” I say softly. “It’s over now.”
She nods, clenching her jaw before telling me I’m right about one thing.
It definitely is over.
And with that final pronouncement, she pushes past me and into the hallway.
Moments later, I hear the rumble of the garage door, followed by the sound of Jess’s Explorer roaring up our driveway. I’m still glued to the same spot where she just left me, eyes fixed on the computer screen, watching the graphic image of Kristy as she rocks back and forth on top of me. The video feed goes black for a second, then loops back to the beginning.
Why the hell didn’t I see this coming?
Of course Caulder knew about the affair. The sick fuck obviously had her hotel suite wired for video. He’d known from the start, looking me right in the eye as he planned his revenge. He’d carried the hatred inside him, like a concealed weapon, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
That’s why he engineered Jean Clark’s death, setting me up to take the blame.
That’s why he tried to cover his tracks by attacking Erin.
And now, he’s found one last way to twist the knife into my side. By sending this video to Jess, he’s taken away my best friend, and with her, any hope of winning back my life. My family. The message couldn’t be any clearer; in fact, he delivered it in person just a few days ago.
You hurt me, I’ll hurt you back.
It takes me half an hour to explain all this to Carpstein. When I’m done, part of me hopes my friend will announce I’m having a paranoid delusion. Instead, he lets out a deep sigh, then tells me I need to go straight to the police.
“You’re fuckin’ crazy for waiting this long!” he yells, so loudly that I have to move the cell away from my ear.
“But they think I’m the one who tried to kill Erin,” I protest.
“Sure, but Jesus, Jake! I don’t really see how you got any choice here. I mean, from what you’re saying, you’re being stalked by a psychopath who’s already killed two people.”
“Erin’s still alive,” I correct, refusing to accept the likelihood he’s right.
“Yeah, whatever. Listen bro, you know I’ll do anything for you, but this… this is way beyond me. I’m not a cop, and that’s what you need right now.”
“But what will they do short of locking me up? Even the CME thinks I’m guilty. She’s as open-minded as they come, and you should’ve seen the look she gave me tonight.” I cringe, picturing Roberts’ guarded expression. “Like I was a cold-blooded monster. What the hell should I do now?”
Carpstein exhales in short, flustered bursts as he considers my options. “You’ve still gotta tell her the truth,” he finally says. “I don’t see any other move here.”
“I know,” I say, shoulders sagging. “If only I could bring her some proof. Even the smallest thing.”
Josh sighs, agreeing this would be the only way to turn things around. Over the next fifteen minutes, he takes me back to the fateful encounter with Jean Clark, painstakingly making me go over every detail of the Replacidin procedure, step by step. I even tell him how I accidentally sprayed the first syringe of reversal agent all over my face and lab coat.
“So,” he concludes when I’m done. “If Caulder switched the syringes, then he had to do it twice: once before the procedure, then a second time after you’d gone to the hospital. He must’ve replaced the contaminated syringes with the originals to cover his tracks. That’s when your nurse walked in on him.”
“Yeah… but then how do you explain those anaphylaxis markers in Jean Clark’s blood?”
“I don’t know,” he admits. “But from the way you describe it, she crashed immediately after you injected the reversal agent.”
“Yes.”
“Well…” he says, his voice now becoming more animated. “What if it wasn’t really the reversal agent you were injecting? What if Caulder put something in there to finish the job?”
“That’s possible,” I agree half-heartedly. “But I still don’t see how that helps.”
“Think about it, man! You just told me the answer!”
“I really don’t see…” I start to argue, but then my heart flutters. I know exactly what Josh is getting at.
“If Caulder switched the reversal agent,” he says, “How would he know which syringe you’d use? He wouldn’t. He’d have to switch all the syringes in the drawer.”
He’d have to switch all of the syringes.
I repeat this slowly, knowing in my heart he’s right. A man as meticulous and controlling as Roy Caulder would have planned for every possibility.
Except for the one variable he could have never predicted: random human error.
My thoughts turn to the sleeve of my lab coat, the one I used to wipe the reversal agent off my face. Where the hell did I put that coat? I didn’t have it on in the hospital. Was I still wearing it when I trailed the ambulance carrying Jean Clark? No… I’d already stuffed it into the trunk of my rental car, which is where it must be right now.
Just waiting for a skilled pair of hands to extract the evidence that might still be clinging to its fabric.
“Josh,” I say, suddenly breathless as I realize what needs to be done next. “Are you still in touch with Harley?”
*****
© Copyright 2025 graymartin. All rights reserved.
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Hi Gray,
Yes, I'm a total fan. But, the opening of this chapter felt a bit stiff, it was a bit more wordy and I really love your terse, quick descriptions. For example, when you describe the Merrit Pkwy (I know it so well), you wrote "unfamiliar and filled with menace." If Jake is so agitated, I would expect his sentences and descriptions to be more frantic, so something like, "every curve terrified me" (or something better than that, but you get the idea). Later, you write,"As I realize this, a sickening wave of guilt sweeps over me, again, it sounds a little to wordy for Jake, I'm expect him to say something like, Realizing this, I have toswallow back the bile that rises from my gut (again, you can probably can do better, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say, I want the descriptions to be more vivid and immediate. I've come to expect that from you.
As the chapter continues you get back your stride and it all flows. I'd like to see a bit more of an oh shit moment, when Jake realizes that Jess has seen the video just before he was about to come clean. He keeps getting kicked when he's down, and he really can't defend himself now. Of course, he can't feel sorry for himself, but he can get sick (again) by how close he was to trying to get things right and now he's beyond help. Maybe you can work with this line, "As I turn into our driveway, part of me almost hopes she does." And when he realizes she's seen the video, he can kick himself for having thought what he did, realizing that the only remaining vestige of his life, and his last resort, has just been yanked away from him.
The dialogue between Jake and Jess seemed real to me, very upsetting, and Jess's anger is authentic.
I was relieved when he turned to Josh. Finally...I hope he can creep out of this mess, I am still rooting for Jake, and still believe in happy endings.
I like the twisty-turny medical turns, and I'm glad the lights are finally turning on for Jake.
Overall, it's really good, I'd just love for you to tighten up the intro. A few teeny tweaks should make it perfect.
Looking forward to more...
Simi
Hi Gray,
Wow! Two chapters in one night. You're on a roll. Okay, I read Simi's review and it's funny she had trouble with the opening, because so did I. I didn't know why I did, but as I read it, it didn't seem like your style. I went back and read it over and over and the crazy thing is...it's the word "this" that gives me trouble. It's not incorrect, but once I substitute "the" for this, it works better for me. I've driven the Merritt Parkway so many times I know every curve, exit and stone bridge overpass by heart, but tonight, the ride home terrifies me. I don't know why that one little word throws me off, but it does.
The rest of the chapter is fabulous. I love that Jake was planning to come clean even before Jess finds out. I just hope the saying...the truth will set you free...works out for Jake. I'm sure it will. Gotta have our happy ending.
~Ann
HI Gray,
More relief at still being in Jake's head. Here's hoping you don't switch me away from him! ; )
Good start to the chapter - I can visualize the Merritt, and poor Jake looking in the mirror.
Mistakes I keep [on] making.
, down to the last graphic detail – >> worst mistake adulterers make. The spouse don't need all the details. It seals the deal just about every time. Please, Jake, don't be that stoooopid...! : O
The scene between Jake and Jess (all those J's!) is excellent. I suggest dumping the italics. Also, where did the video come from? I don't remember if Jake knew one was being made. If not, wouldn't he be as shocked as his wife? And if he knew about it, how did his wife get hold of it?
I see the explanation after this, but that is more like Jake's rambling. I'd like to see Jess showing him an email, or an opened envelope containing a flash drive - something that shows how she gt it, rather than Jake's speculation.
The next paras re: Carpstein's explanations get close to doing the same thing - telling us what might have happened, instead of pieces of evidence working their way into the story without so much telling.
“But they think I’m the one who tried to kill Erin,” I protest.> I forgot to ask, how can he be under suspicion when Erin was struck by a car? Jake was on the ground beside her, not driving, his car isn't like the one that hit her, no damage to it, etc.
He does sound fairly oblivious at this point, not voicing his concerns about Roy to the cops and the CME.
But, the tension is great, and I'm bugged I don't have another chapter to read! Nice job - smooth writing again!
: )
Terri
Hey Gray, I caught myself holding my breath when Jake walked into his quiet house and found Jess sitting "still" in front of the computer. I was half expecting her to be dead. I like attention to detail, and even more when the detail is something that doesn't immediately pop into my head. for example, when Jake parked next to Jess' Expedition and heard: the clicking sound of the cooling engine. Okay, I'm thinking the video can work in Jake's favor, not when it comes to his marriage, but it gives Roy a motive for payback. Now how can you prove he shot the video in the hotel room. Now Jake will have to gain access to the room.... Oh, Bree? just clowning around a little, but when I don't find any nits, I get even with a lot of rambling.
Excellent story, and your writing is just as good. later gater
Hey Gray,
Oops, I hit something on my computer before finishing my last review, so didn't get to finish... Sorry... Anyway, what I was saying, is your style and plot drew me in to reading your story... Sooo, my friend, you are doing something right... I'm all for learning the craft and the right and wrong, but I think free will in our craft is important too... Thinking outside the box, so to speak.... Just sayin'...!
This chapter is really good....! You have hinted before but haven't defined if Jess has been fooling around on Jake - or entertaining the idea, and even though she hasn't been doing her homework with him, she is still indignant when watching the flick of hubby and Bree/Kristy... Feeling guilt for not doing her homework I surmise, but mad someone else is, makes Caulder a very happy man...
I have to say, in some weird way, I'm almost pulling for Jake/Kristy... Go figure...! I think Jess comes off as wanting her cake and eat it too... As long as the cake and frosting goes her way, she's good, but upset HER delicate balance, and you are history dude, because her balance is all tht matters.....to her...
I can't bare to think little Emma could grow into a Mamma clone...! Yuk...!
You see, your different POV's have shaped what 'I' the reader thinks, because in stores as in life, we all have our own POV, and we don't always see the flowery picture the same way.... One cheating ex-husband later taught me that, my friend...!! LOL...! I had ground beef, but now I have filet mignon, so all's well that ends well...!!
Anyway, you publish the book...........I'll buy the book for my library...!
Happy Writing & Keep Smilin'... Jax
Gray....All I can say is OMG....You got it from beginning to end. Can picture him driving on the Merritt as I have done many a time taking my daughter to Quinnipiac. I could feel his tension and anxiety, and then him coming home to find his wife watching the video. I would guess that's every mans worst nightmare.....lol There dialogue was right on. Even to his compulsion to have to explain even tho she didn't care and wasn't even listening. Good job. The only nit is I would have like his conversation to start a little earlier with Carpstien. I really like him and I think Jake starting out haltingly and then having to admit that his wife was actually watching the video would be priceless. Would love to hear his friends comments on that. Will be reading more soon....Densie
Hello Gray, I thought at the end of the previous chapter that Jake should have come clean to Roberts but this is better. With the video, you have dragged him to the nadir and his realization (with Carpstein's help) that he has to unload to Roberts can be the first step as he climbs back up from the floor. Then at the end, a glimmer of hope.
This chapter is damn near perfect, great summing up of how he got to where he's at, the dramatic encounter where Jess leaves, and then the ever faithful Carpstein pulls him back from the abyss.
NIts:[delete], (add).
<Even worse, he [probably knows](must know) where I live.> I don't think there should be any uncertainty in Jake's mind.
<I kill the ignition and step [out] into the garage, sorting through the sounds around me.>
<There's a torn envelope on the desktop and a thumb drive glowing in the computer's parallel port.> now I have an old computer but even it has USB drive ports not parallel ports. A thumb drive would have a USB connector, it wouldn't go into a parallel port.
<I’m still glued to the same spot [where she just left me], eyes fixed on the computer screen, watching the graphic image of Kristy as she rocks back and forth on top of me.>
<“Sure, but Jesus, Jake! I don’t[ really] see how you got any choice here.>
Hey, Gray - Well Carpstein has hit on the thing that bothered me before. If Caulder had adulterated the syringe, he had to have done them all. Now Jake has a small chance at some proof. Only one thing, though - I would think the cops or somebody would have gone to check out those syringes, since the whole lot of the drug could have been affected, maybe at the lab of origin. And if Caulder had gotten rid of them all, the fact there weren't any to examine should raise suspicions. Obviously, if Jake did it intentionally, he'd need only one or two doctored syringes. And as I recall, didn't Erin hand him the syringes? Just some thoughts I had as I worked through the scenarios.
Are we supposed to know who Harley is? I can't remember him.
- ...if those events were all pre[-]determined...
- ...taking comfort in the sight of Jess's [Kate Spade bag] handbag hanging... {Would Jake know the brand name? Okay, I found out the name is printed on the bag in small letters, but still. Having him think of the brand of the bag seemed off to me.}
- "You're really having sex with one of your patients[.](?)" {This read better as a question for me.}
The action is really picking up steam now as Jake tries to get out of what looks like an obvious frame-up now. Good stuff!
Take care,
Jack
I wondered if there wasn't something in the reversal agent when you had that spray on his face. This was a good chapter with his friend to have him suggest it and remind him. These last ten chapters have been very tense and thrilling, and I did like the asides with the ME. That worked really well. I did not like the aside with Kristy. It didn't tell us anything we didn't already know. I did like there scene at the beach, though. That worked really well, and she implied Roy was manipulating her, if Jake really listened.
I also don't like Jake being stupid and not telling the ME what he suspects. The nurse told him Roy was in the room, so he can relate that. She might not believe him, yet, but it will put the idea in her head. And if she investigates with the police, they'll find all the money transferred to her account. Frankly, I don't understand why he lied. If you want to go that route, I think you need to have some more convincing logic. Sure, maybe he's afraid of Roy, maybe he thinks he won't be believed, but those aren't convincing for me to believe he'd lie. I know people make stupid mistakes like that when under stress, but it just feels wrong to me in this situation.
It's a very good chapter, lots of tension and drama, with one exception. Wouldn't Caulder have made a mistake by sending the pics. It provides Jake with a bit of an allibi and will reinforce the story he is trying to spin. This all assumes Caulder is the killer.
Now that I write this I'm beginning to think he isn't. That would be too obvious. Something more must be going on here. Maybe it's a Gone Girl type of switch-a-roo and Jake really is the killer.
Anyway, I think this kind of guessing and what you want. I'm now eagerly reading on to find out what the hell is happening.
Author
Reply
I thought this through, and reasoned that the video file still wouldn't link Caulder in any way to Jake's patient's death. The prime target of the video is Jess -- for reasons that will hopefully become apparent toward the climax of the story. Thanks for reading on! Gray
Hello, Gray. That didn't surprise me...it's going to be VERY tough to win back Jess's heart now! Jake's been kicked around a great deal this entire story, pretty much. Amazing he hasn't blown a head gasket...but that of course adds to this story's strength. Only the strong need apply...sure, he's come off, at times, as a bit whiny and even a little wimpy, but he's a doctor, not an extreme tough guy.
The last portion of this installment is quite encouraging. Well, for now, at least...
I think the folks who didn't stay with you regarding this book are missing a LOT...maybe they're overworked, but if an editor or an agent is serious about finding good reads....yeah, rejection, of course, happens. Stephen King caught quite a number of 'em before he finally connected with someone not asleep at the wheel...I think Grisham also had some major letdowns...
I don't know when, Gray, but I believe you're going to get your work/s off the ground.
CHEERS!!
Mike
Author
Reply
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mike. It's a real slog to land an agent. Not that I don't think there are good ones out there with open minds for new authors, but the query process is daunting. It's hard to break through unless you can afford the time (and money) to attend pitching conferences, and I simply can't do that. Oh well, maybe I'll lick my wounds and get a fresh round of query e-mails ready... Take care, Gray
Great chapter!
Read it straight through without even looking for nits because it was so suspenseful. I love the idea of the lab coat having the proof he needs. And I think this is the midpoint of the book, or maybe the break into act 3? Not sure what the rest of the book holds. But it's a great chapter and now everything should be racing toward a climactic finish!
Moving on!
Lauren
Author
Reply
Thanks. The first syringe Jake picked up during his patient's crisis sprayed back at him because he forgot to turn the luer lock, which is a plastic valve that directs the flow of the medicine being injected into the IV. That becomes important, since he accidentally sprayed himself with the incriminating evidence (and then wiped the evidence onto his lab coat). Hope this made sense!
Gray
No
simisez