Monday evening, June 14, Greenwich Hospital
Alice Roberts
“So that’s it?”
Doctor Alice Roberts sat across the table from the young doctor, her eyes probing his as if she could read his mind. Based on her track record, many in the medical and law enforcement communities would swear she could. Roberts was already the longest-serving CME in the state’s history and had a well-earned reputation for being a tenacious seeker of the truth. She worshiped facts, scoffed at politics and didn’t like to waste time on social pleasantries. The way she saw it, her job came above all else, and if that meant staying with an evasive witness until she could extract every last germ of truth from him… then so be it.
The group meeting had adjourned over an hour ago, but Roberts still sensed there was more to learn from Jake Goodwin. Much more.
She cleared her throat. “Doctor Goodwin? Do you have anything else to add?”
After several beats of silence, he answered with a weary head shake. “That’s all I’ve got. Sorry, but my head’s in a cloud. Guess I’m still in shock.”
“I understand, but you and your nurse Erin Shea are my only witnesses, and so far, I haven’t been able to reach her. I need every detail you can provide, so try to focus.”
Goodwin had already gone over the events twice – once in front of the skeptical audience of cops, lawyer, Pulsar reps and Al Greenbeck and a second time for the CME alone. Nevertheless, she made him plow through the details again, starting with the way he’d found the Replacidin vial, already pre-mixed with saline and waiting on the surgical tray.
“We’ve collected the vial and syringe, along with all other medical supplies found in Mrs. Clark’s treatment room,” she explained patiently. “That means every gauze pad, every bottle of saline. Even the smallest scraps of medical waste.”
“And the reversal agent?”
“We’ll be analyzing that to the last molecule. Right now, what I need from you is your memory. I need every detail, however insignificant it may seem.”
“I’ll do my best.” Goodwin rocked back in his seat, his eyes turning glassy and distant.
“Doctor Goodwin? Are you still with me?”
He jerked his chin up, refocusing on her. “Yeah. Sorry, but it’s been a long day.”
“I know, and it’s going to be a long week. Do you know why I’m here?”
“I guess you were called in because of the circumstances of Mrs. Clark’s death.”
Roberts smiled knowingly. “Do you have any idea how many sudden or unexplained deaths are reported to my office each week?”
Goodwin shrugged. “I don’t know… maybe a dozen?”
“Try hundreds. Last year alone, we took jurisdiction over close to 14,000 deaths, and that’s only seventy-five percent of the deaths that were reported to our office. Most of our cases are handled by assistant MEs, local consultants who act as our eyes and ears on the ground. I rarely have time to travel outside of Farmington. The last case I personally supervised was the shooting homicide of a high-profile athlete at U Conn. You might have heard of it.”
Roberts saw the glimmer of recognition in his eyes.
“You investigated the Harper murder?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Yes. That’s the kind of case I typically supervise in person.”
“So then why are you here?”
A good question, she thought. One that deserved to be answered with at least a grain of truth.
“Because…” She cleared her throat. “Some very powerful people have taken a special interest in your patient’s death. Some of them, I suspect, have already decided on a cause. Now they’ll be looking to assign blame.” Her intelligent brown eyes met his. “And they’ll be looking for an easy target.”
“So, I’m the scapegoat?”
Roberts sighed. “That’s how these things often work. Just to give you some idea: Pulsar’s legal department sent me a memo noting that Jean Clark has a documented latex allergy. Somehow, they also know you questioned this allergy in her chart. They e-mailed this information to me before our meeting. Three times.”
She paused to let that nugget sink in. “And then there’s Roland Clark’s legal team, led by Chuck Schlager. They’ve already requested an independent forensic analysis and full criminal investigation. That’s why Greenwich PD joined us this evening.”
“A criminal investigation?” By now, the young doctor’s skin color just about matched his white lab coat. Roberts wondered if he might pass out, and she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy. He was just starting to realize what sort of hot water he’d fallen into.
And it would only get hotter in the days to come.
“I wouldn’t worry about that right now,” she said. “Your priority should be to help my team. I expect your full cooperation.”
Goodwin raked a hand through his hair. “But how can they call this anaphylaxis? Jean Clark didn’t even have a real latex allergy!”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because I took her goddamned history!” Goodwin sucked in a deep breath before continuing, in a calmer voice. “She said latex gloves irritated her skin. She gave no history of lip swelling, throat tightness, or hives… nothing to suggest a true type-one hypersensitivity. And besides, I still avoided using any latex products. She showed no signs –”
“I read your report, doctor. My team is downstairs at this moment, drawing blood samples to check serum IgE and mast cell tryptase levels. If the answer is as simple as anaphylaxis, then we should know within 24 hours.”
“It won’t be.”
Roberts met his gaze. “Like I said: The blood is being drawn as we speak. Now, I assure you our investigation will be thorough and fair. My team only follows the science, Jake. We don’t bend to political pressure. If you want to help yourself, then you’ll hold nothing back. I expect you to share every detail.”
No one could miss the warning in her words, but she arched an eyebrow to underscore the point. “Now, if you have any more information to share…” She stood to signal the meeting was over and handed him her business card. “Then call that number. Immediately.”
“I’ll do my best, Doctor Roberts.”
“You’d better. Oh, and one more thing: Expect a call from Detective Mackey or Popov some time tonight. They’ll be looking to interview you soon, probably tomorrow morning.”
She noticed Goodwin’s pained expression and thought: There’s definitely more to this story. He’s holding back. Still, something about the doctor engendered more sympathy than suspicion. He looked so completely overwhelmed and, well, clueless – like a deer caught trying to cross I-95.
And with good reason. From where she was sitting, his future didn’t seem much brighter. If this played out like she thought it would, his career was pretty much roadkill.
“Doctor Roberts?” Goodwin asked, suddenly looking much younger than his thirty-two years of age. “How worried should I be about this meeting?”
Now was the perfect time to tighten the screws, to really make him sweat, hoping he’d crack and cough up more information. But for some reason, her intuition told her to go easy, at least for now.
“It’s just routine,” she said, lowering her voice to let him know it was anything but. “All the same, though… if you don’t already have a lawyer, now might be a good time to find one.”
*****
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Hi Gray,
I have no trouble with another pov coming in this late. I think it works just fine. I thought the dialogue was clear and natural, the pacing and logic good. You also do a good job of showing the stress and tension Jake is under and the suspicion Alice has, but yet a gut feeling something isn't right...and because you show her being sympathetic to Jake, then I'm thinking she'll help him get out of this apparent set-up. She may be his only ally.
I look forward to how you tie the death/bosses/Bree altogether in this thriller of lust and greed.
~Ann
Hey Gray, no problem with Roberts' POV, since you wanted to establish that she is pulling for the doctor to get out of this mess with a capital M. And the pace flowed well, too. Now poor Jake has two men gunning for him, crazy Roy and a crazed widower, not to mention his failing marriage and a temptress to boot. His plate is full:) Great conflict, sir. I was a little surprised that Jake wouldn't know how scapegoats were always in season when it came to malpractice lawsuits, even with him still in shock. I loved the analogy of Jake's career becoming roadkill like a deer caught on a highway.
..and that's only seventy(-)five percent...
She noticed Goodwin's pained expression and though(t)...
take care,
nathan
Hi Gray,
POV police, checking in here.
"Worship(p)ed"
Tell this from Jake's POV.
Pacing seems a little bit slower. I'm surprised Jake's malpractice lawyers haven't already been called in. And his ignorance that he will need a criminal defense lawyer seems very naive....But maybe understandable, given he shock waves in his marriage, the quick affair with Bree and the sudden death of Mrs. Clark.
The dialogue works fine, btw.
Now where is Erin? Did Roy dispose of her?
: )
Terri
Question answered before read
Perhaps you can have this new character be the examine the first person killed in the novel?
Perhaps she can be a rival to greenback? This would allow an earlier introduction
Question answered after read
The new character fits in very well given the circumstances of the novel, and the plot elements already presented.
Again the chapter does not overly surprise, but that is also a given due to the recent events.
Moving on!
I like Alice Roberts, I think she's one of the good guys. She seems to have a gut instinct about Jake's innocence, but she'll be fair and by the book. Having her POV is good, and I want Jake to have an advocate, which I hope she becomes. He needs one so badly. So far, everything is stacked up against him.
Gray....I like the intro of the new character and I thought you handled it fine. I guess for me tho, I have become so attached to Jake that I would've liked to hear the interrogation from his eyes. But maybe you have that planned for the next chapter and of course I will have to read forward. The chapter was short, but packed with lots of info and of course the hook at the end with Alice advising him to get a lawyer.....Never a good sign....lol Thanks for sharing.....Denise
Hello Gray, I don't think there is a problem in bringing in an additional character and telling portions of the story from her perspective, not when it is an important player, and one who looks like an ally for Jake. Pace is good, character development is good. But this chapter brought home what is bothering me about this whole story, because this chapter and the last one are so integrated. Jake's story is told from first person and in present tense. Everyone else's story is told in third person and past tense. Okay, your buddy Patterson, does the first person, third person business, but does he or others have a present tense vs. past tense difference as well. I suspect not. It generates two stories that are working on different time lines, Jake in the here and now and everyone else relating their parts in this from some time in the future. So, why are you doing this? To keep up the myth from the prologue that Jake dies? Well, I didn't like that at the get go and I don't think I will like it when it comes up again in one of the last chapters (if it does, I suspect you are going to rescue Jake). I didn't like it because the way you told it, Jake had to be dictating his story into his Iphone as he died (in my day he would have been dictating into a dictaphone). That was too hard to take. I think the whole thing would work better if Jake told his story in past tense and the reader could wonder about how he managed to get out of the situation in the prologue, rather than trying to perpetuate the (not very credible) idea he died.
Nits: [delete], (add)
<“[I guess y](Y)ou were called in because of the circumstances of Mrs. Clark’s death.”> there is no guesswork in understanding why Dr. Roberts was called in, only question is why Dr. Roberts and not one of her assistants, but he isn't responding to that.
<“[So t](T)hen why are you here?”> Another so that I think is superfluous, but a few sentences later you have one I think you should keep.
<One that deserved [to be answered with] at least a [grain of truth](partial answer).>
Hi Gray,
No problem with another POV... The CME is very important to the development of what caused Jean's death... I think you handled it well, inasmuch as you kept it short, direct and to the point... Good job...
I like that you brought the CME's thoughts to the forefront that yes, Jake is in deep hockey pucks, BUT she see's him as a person stuck between a rock and a hard place too....
Good Evening & Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Back again. Sorry for the delay—work has been kicking my butt lately.
I think this chapter would be far better served from your main character’s pov. Having a new pov halfway through isn’t the issue so much as not getting much of anything from it. And by that I don’t mean it’s necessarily light on content, but I did feel the content zeroed in more on being overly expository. Why do we (the reader) need to know what the CME is thinking or feeling? Is she going to become a major character on par with Jake and Bri? Is sharing her history/caseload/process of investigation more significant in the grand scheme than sharing a deeper look into your main character’s situation?
Also as far as realism, I’m still having trouble with your quick development of this situation. It doesn’t make a lot of sense that Jake wouldn’t immediately have council, and that he’d be sitting in on so many official inquiries so quickly. It feels a little like the story is becoming a little unfocused and perhaps derailed somewhat by this light brushing of something that could, and probably should be an undercurrent instead.
I got the impression from your last review reply that you are skipping over this legal stuff quickly because you don’t want it to become the main focus of the story. If that’s your goal, then I’d suggest not getting into much detail at all. Keep the main forward moving story going and make the legal maneuverings an undercurrent. Undercurrents don’t need lengthy explanation—they just need to be referred to, and we need to see the ongoing results of developments as they affect the character within the forward moving part of the story.
Hope your move went successfully!
Hey, Gray - As you know, I have no problem with different POVs in a novel - I do it all the time! But I think if you've got a scene which includes the MC, it should be in his/her POV - especially if that POV has always been in first-person. Scenes outside the awareness of the MC are, obviously, in other POVs. So to get Roberts's take on the situation, which I assume is important, I'd have her mull over the situation after Jake leaves.
Still don't get the criminal investigation. I'd maybe buy it if Roy Caulder was the one who died. But Jean Clark (Sorry for calling her "Crane" in my last review; must have been thinking of the actress) has no personal connection to Jake. Has a similar situation occurred in real life you're aware of? Doesn't seem logical to me. And, speaking of needing a lawyer, Jake has one built in - through his malpractice insurance carrier, which he should should notify forthwith. But if Jake is charged with homicide, the carrier will naturally wash its hands of the whole thing.
Jake's world is crumbling fast, and you're showing that well. Didn't spot any nits in another well-written piece.
Take care,
Jack
The writing is good but unless this woman is going to pay a big role in the story going forward I'm not crazy about having the POV shift to her for this chapter. I know you want to show the trouble he might be in but why not show the meeting from his POV?
Hello, Gray. I'm mistaken: I have a little more time. Anyway, you showed me Alice Roberts very well. She's a no-nonsense kind of person who's obviously perfectly cut out for her position...the dialogue was dramatic, but remained quite believable. The pacing seemed right, and there is no problem regarding cohesiveness or clarity, from what I'm reading. And your chapters consistently flow; they don't have any "dead spots" or boring parts.
Going very strong, Gray!!
Peace,
Mike
Now I think it's time for me to get ready to head out...don't want to, though!
Author
Reply
Thanks for the encouragement, Mike. My office manager at work is named Alice, and the CME is loosely based on her calm, practical and fair personality. She's supposed to be a lifeline of sorts for Alice, and also a sort of surrogate for the reader. Thanks, Gray
Hi Gray,
So again, I have to wait to see what else is in store for these Alice chapters, but I am leaning toward deleting. There is nothing wrong with this chapter, and I don't have a problem with the additional POV this late in the book, I just don't know that it's necessary. But in some of your comments, you need her for plot, so maybe it is. We shall see. (I'm giving up on Everyone for the night. I'll power through some of these chapters!)
Lauren
Author
Reply
Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm also on the fence about these Alice chapters but we'll see!
I've read all your responses, so thanks so much for all the time you've taken with TROPHY. I hope it wasn't a waste, as it really needs all the help it can get!
I'll be back to respond to all your comments chapter by chapter later, but want to finish MISSING first.
Gray
No
Ann Everett