Once we’ve safely mounted the cliff, the Aletheians lead us down a rocky path that snakes away from the shore. Dillan and Cael are up front, illuminating our way as we descend into a narrow gorge. The red light of their headlamps stains the rain-slicked boulders around us like blood. The harsh topography reminds me of how Ferro described Scilla. An impenetrable coastline of cliffs fringed with mines. Crevices that carve a maze through the rocks. So far, he’s been spot on, which means…
I glance over my shoulder, heart pounding as I search the darkness for any sign of shadow rippers.
“What’s up?” Vin freezes beside me. “See something?”
“Relax,” Dillan calls back to us. “We swept this path for hostiles. You’re safe.”
“What about rippers?” I ask.
“Rippers?” The Aletheian chuckles. “Oh, I don’t think you need to worry about those. Besides…” He shines his headlamp into a recess at the side of the path, inviting me to take a closer look. When I kneel to inspect the cavity, a red dot blinks up at me.
“Motion and heat sensors,” he explains. “Spaced every thousand feet. They cover all possible approaches to our camp, so like I said… relax.”
“Says the mysterious stranger with the frag gun,” Vin mutters with an eye roll.
Lily whips around to confront him. “This stranger just snatched you from the jaws of death. And his name is General Dillan, by the way. He commands the Eastern Territory, which means he’s the one who pulled together this rescue mission.”
Dillan. I suddenly make the connection between his name and the deep, resonant voice I heard aboard the subnaut. “You’re a member of the Core,” I say, staring at him in surprise. The tall, muscular soldier now facing me looks nothing like the white-haired leader I pictured. It’s too dark to make out the details of his face, but when he cocks his head to the side, the sudden motion sets my hairs on edge. This man saved my life, so why do I feel like a field mouse that just got spotted by a hawk.
“Thanks for rescuing us,” I say, brushing the irrational fear aside. “And for approving this mission.”
“I wouldn’t say I approved it,” he answers with a laugh. “I’ve just learned over the years not to question Thea’s judgment.”
Everyone falls silent at the mention of her name, since we still don’t know the fate of the other Crawler. Dillan said his team never spotted any sign of them, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t land further down the coastline.
“Any word from the other search party?” Cael asks as we push deeper into the ravine, scrambling over some rock formations and squeezing through others.
Dillan shakes his head. “Sorry, brother. We can’t risk opening the comm lines. Not this close to hostiles. But we’re less than a mile from base camp, so we’ll find out soon enough.”
The gorge narrows as we move inland, its dark walls pressing in on us like a vise. At one point, we’re forced to go single file, scurrying crab-like between two boulders. All I can think as we navigate through the bottleneck is that we’re sitting ducks. What if an Enforcer patrol stumbles into us now? Motion detectors or not, we’re way too vulnerable. As if to prove this point, one of the Aletheians gets stuck and must remove his battle vest in order to squeeze past the obstruction.
“Something’s not right,” I whisper to Vin.
“What? Think they’re leading us into a trap?” He tilts his chin toward Dillan, Cael and Lily, who are talking in low voices up ahead. The path slopes upward, promising a steep and treacherous climb.
“Not really. If that was the plan, then why rescue us in the first place?”
Vin shrugs. “Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s just…” I glance over my shoulder to make sure the other Aletheians are out of earshot. “If Dillan’s supposed to be this great rebel commander, then wouldn’t he pick a better spot to camp?” I point to the canyon walls. “Why box us in like this?”
“Yeah,” Vin agrees. “And they look kind of relaxed for soldiers about to go into battle, don’t you think?” His eyes flick to the Aletheian who got stuck in the crevice. Either Dillan’s men are poorly trained and inexperienced or…
I freeze as another possibility crystalizes in my mind. The puzzle pieces are all there. The way Dillan’s team swooped down to save us, like they’d been expecting our arrival. How Lily called this a rescue mission.
“I don’t think they’re expecting a fight,” I say though clenched teeth.
“Huh?” Vin pushes his brows together. “That makes no sense.”
“Sure it does.” I stare past him to Cael, cursing the blocking collar around my neck. Then again, I don’t need to sift to see the pattern that’s forming. “It makes perfect sense if we’re not attacking the fortress. They lied to us, Vin. Again.”
*
Secrets. Lies. Misdirection. As we climb in silence, my thoughts return to the first time I saw the Aletheians in the ice tunnels beneath York. I should have known from the way they hid in the shadows with the rats. And even before then, when Thea used Lily and those telepathic bread crumbs to draw me away from the Washton attack. Or going all the way back to the beginning, when she let the Founders strip my mind so she could hide a dead girl’s memories inside me like a virus. It’s been nothing but tricks and manipulation, right from the start.
The realization smolders inside me, threatening to erupt as we approach the Aletheians’ camp. But I bite my tongue for now. No point in starting a fight until I know what happened to the other Crawler. The truth is, everything depends on whether or not Astrid made it. With her by my side, everything seems possible. But if I’ve lost her…
Just the thought fills me with darkness.
“We’re here,” Dillan announces, cutting into my gloomy thoughts. When I scan the terrain up ahead though, I see nothing but a barren moonscape of rocks and craters. The rain has thinned into a cold, fine mist, shrouding the profiles of more cliffs in the distance. There’s no sign of life in the foreground – not even a stray tree or cactus. But then I notice a soft yellow glow to my right. As we get closer, the light concentrates into a fissure, illuminating the mouth of a cave. All my anger and fear melts away when I see who’s waiting there to greet us.
“Vin! Wil!” Brenne barrels toward us, almost knocking Vin over when she leaps into his arms. “I thought…” She clings to him like she’s afraid he’ll disappear if she lets go. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Hey, girl.” He sets her down and plants a kiss on her forehead. “No need for that. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”
“But…” She sniffles. “They said you hit a mine.”
“We did,” he answers with a grin. “Made a loud boom. Didn’t stop us though. Like I said, it’ll take a whole lot more than that to keep me away from you.”
From the way they’re gazing into each other’s eyes, I get the feeling they want some private time, but I need to know something first.
“Where’s Astrid?”
“She’s fine,” Brenne says, pointing to the glowing opening of the cave. “She’s in there with Thea. They’re having a pretty intense, um…” – She bites her lip – “conversation.”
One guess what that’s about. If I’ve figured out we’re avoiding the fortress at Scilla Rock, it’s a safe bet Astrid has too. As we approach the cave, I hear voices echoing inside. I’m wondering why there are no sentries posted outside when three soldiers rise from boulders positioned around the entrance. Dillan greets them with a quick wave and they sink back into the shadows.
“What about perimeter security?” Lily asks.
“We’re got snipers on that eastern ridge.” Dillan points to a dark peak to our right, then slowly rotates counter-clockwise. “Three teams patrolling the rift valley to the north. There’s a rocky, impenetrable coastline to the west, and nothing but cliff and ocean to the south, which you got to see first-hand.” We follow him as he describes the terrain, ending facing the direction from which we came.
“Wil!” Thea’s voice calls from behind us. When I spin around, she steps out of the cave. “By Aletheia’s grace, you’re safe.”
Astrid stands beside her, arms drawn tightly to her chest. So she knows. I wave at her, hoping for a smile or at least some sign she’s happy to see I’m alive, but all I get is a quick nod before she storms toward Cael and Lily.
“They lied,” she says, glaring at them. “You never planned to rescue my father, did you?”
Lily’s lips pucker with a comeback, but before she can spit one out, Dillan steps between them.
“You’re right,” he confirms. “This isn’t Scilla Rock. That’s a hundred miles due north.” He points inland. “That way. If you’d landed anywhere close to there, you’d probably be captured or dead by now.”
Astrid takes a step back and stares at him, her expression caught between fear and recognition. “I –” She straightens and clears her throat. “I know your voice. You’re from the Core.”
“I am,” he replies. “My name’s Dillan, commander of the Eastern Territory, and it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Blake.”
“But…” Her voice thickens with anger. “You voted for the mission!”
“Yes, and our forces will attack the fortress tomorrow.” The Aletheian commander pauses, gaze shifting to Thea. “By then, you’ll be on your way to a safe zone. As soon as this storm lifts, you’ll be taken to sanctuary.”
“And where is that?” I demand, gripped by a terrifying thought. What if Ferro was right? What if they plan to hand us over to the Sinovoss?
“Somewhere beyond Gant’s reach,” the general answers without elaborating further.
“Sorry for the white lie,” Cael jumps in, “but when the subnaut’s position was compromised, we needed another escape plan. Unfortunately, this…” – He makes a sweeping gesture to the desolate landscape around us – “was the best we could do. The southern coast of Scilla is uninhabited. You’ll be safe here while Kobari leads Gant’s destroyers back across the Great Sea.”
“Why didn’t you just tell us the truth?” I snap.
“Because we didn’t have time for an argument,” Lily answers for him. “And in case you haven’t noticed, your girlfriend isn’t exactly the compromising type.”
Astrid ignores her and turns to Dillan. “You need my father,” she says, voice sharp with defiance, “and if you think you can beat Gant without him, you’re both a liar and a fool.”
“You’re right,” the Aletheian general agrees with a smile, and I can tell he’s impressed by her candor. “We’re partners in this fight, Astrid. That’s why you’ll be reunited soon. You have my word.”
“Your word?” she spits back. “Your word’s no better than Cillian Gant’s!”
And with that, she storms past us, heading into the darkness.
Dillan clenches his jaw, absorbing her insult like a physical blow, but when he orders his soldiers to follow her, he sounds more tired than angry.
“Wait,” Thea says, touching my shoulder. “Go with them, Wil.”
The soldiers turn to Dillan, who gives them a terse nod before handing me his biolume. “You’d better hurry,” he cautions. “There’s a cliff in that direction, and she’s heading straight for it.”
*
I race ahead of the soldiers, spurred on by Dillan’s warning. What if Astrid’s mind is so clouded with rage that she doesn’t see the drop-off?
Thankfully, I spot her before I can finish the morbid thought. She’s standing with her back to me, an inky void spread out before her. It takes a moment to realize she’s found the cliff, all right. She’s poised motionless at its edge, like a diver preparing to jump.
“No!” I burst out. “Don’t!”
She whips around to face me, seemingly oblivious to the danger at her feet. Two steps backward and she’ll be over the edge, but this isn’t like that leap from the top of Academy Peak. This time, she won’t have a parachute to save her.
“Please, Astrid.” I hold out my hand, trying to coax her toward me. “This isn’t the way.”
“Seriously?” Her eyes flash white as she rolls them in the darkness. “You really think I’m going to jump?”
“The thought crossed my mind,” I shoot back. “I mean, look where you’re standing!”
She glances over her shoulder, then shrugs before stepping away from the edge. “There. Happy?”
“Ecstatic.” I turn up my biolume but still can’t read her expression. “What were you doing?”
“Just looking for something.” She points to the horizon. “I thought I saw a light out there, but it’s gone now. Must have been a star peeking through the clouds.”
I puff out a sigh of relief. She sounds perfectly calm now. Reasonable, but sad. So heartbreakingly sad. When I close my eyes, I can feel her loneliness washing over me in waves. “Are you okay?” I ask softly.
“I am now.” She surprises me by grabbing my hand and drawing me toward her. “You’re alive. I…” Her fingers mesh with mine. “I’ve lost everyone I love, Wil. I don’t want to lose you too.”
“But –”
We’re kissing before I can finish my thought, tentatively at first, then with a hunger that takes my breath away. She folds her arms around my neck and rises to meet me, her lips burning against mine. As the kiss deepens, our breaths fall into an easy rhythm, like we were born to do this. I run one hand through her hair and stroke her back with the other, wishing I could freeze this moment and stay here forever.
But I can’t. When we finally pull apart, the gravity of our situation floods back in. Cillian Gant has seized control of Neoden. We’re stranded in a desolate wasteland, at the mercy of rebels who can’t be trusted. Meanwhile, all I can think about is the meaning of that kiss we just shared. How could Astrid be so cold in one moment and so passionate in the next?
“I don’t get it,” I say, blinking at her in confusion. “When you saw me back there, you barely made eye contact. It was like I didn’t even exist. Why?”
“Because!” She presses my hand to her heart. “They don’t get to see this. They don’t get to know what I’m feeling, ever again.”
“But what are you feeling?” I shake my head in frustration. “Sometimes I think I’ll never know.”
Her answer isn’t in her words. It’s in her racing heart. In the way her cheeks flame when she looks into my eyes and whispers, “You know.”
I cup her chin, wishing I could absorb some of her fear and pain, but I can’t. I can’t soothe the sting of betrayal. I can’t save her father, or bring back her family. All I can do is promise to keep her safe, or at least die trying. That’s what I tell myself as I lean in to kiss her again.
Minutes pass with us sitting side-by-side, silently watching the storm clouds mass on the horizon. I should feel terrified right now. Demoralized and powerless. Rescuing my sister seems like an impossible dream, and it’s only a matter of time before Gant hunts us down. He’ll crush the Aletheians and do even worse to us. One kiss won’t cancel out any of these brutal facts. It shouldn’t change anything.
But it has. It’s filled me with hope and a strength I’ve never known.
“We can’t trust Thea and Cael anymore,” Astrid says, pulling me back into the moment. “We’re on our own.”
“But what if they only lied to protect us?”
“Who cares what their motivation was? They lied to serve their own agenda. And that new guy Dillan…” She lifts her head from my shoulder and glances behind us. “I don’t know. He’s hiding something.”
“Were you able to sift him?”
She shakes her head. “Couldn’t with the blocking collar on, but I still got a flash of his aura and there’s something familiar there. Something dark. Maybe even dangerous. I don’t know what his endgame is, but he can’t be trusted. None of them can. Not Thea. Not Cael.” She crinkles her nose. “Definitely not that psycho ex of yours.”
“Lily’s not my ex,” I protest. “We were just childhood friends.”
“Whatever. We’re pawns to them, Wil. Nothing more.”
I nod, even though I’m not so sure she’s right. “What’s our next move then? Should we try to escape?”
“Not yet.” She peers over the cliff edge. “But when the right moment comes…” She stops mid-sentence and I follow her gaze to a white flicker of light, low on the horizon. I’m about to tell her I see it too when a second flash illuminates the clouds, followed by a muted boom.
“Lightning?” I suggest, but she shakes her head.
Another flare, this one brighter. Closer. I count the starbursts, holding my breath as they multiply and intensify until the entire horizon glows white and gold. An ominous rumble rises above the wind, punctuated by staccato booms.
“Must be the raid on Scilla Rock,” Astrid murmurs, but that can’t be right. It’s too early. The attack isn’t supposed to happen until dawn.
We both whirl around to the sound of crunching rock. Footsteps, approaching fast. Moments later, one of Dillan’s men darts out of the shadows.
“Get back to base camp!” he shouts, eyes round with fear. “Run!”
***
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No nits, no errors (at least that I could find), just the smooth writing style I've come to enjoy. You asked about the scene with Astrid and Wil -- it worked for me, except the very beginning, when Wil is scared she's going to jump. First, that seems completely out of her character, so why would he think it. I could see him scared she's going to fall, but not commit suicide. Other than that, it was a great scene.
D
Good point on Astrid. That would certainly be out of character. I'm hoping to wrap this first part up in one more chapter, then hopefully go to it with my edits. First item on the agenda: cut those Gant chapters and tell this all from Wil's POV. Hope you enjoyed the holidays... Gray
If I miss a chapter, I don't want it to be this one! I'd miss the kissing scene!!! You know I'm never one to do that! :+) I like that luv stuff.
The opening to this chapter is just fabulous. Such nice description.
I retain so little of what I read, I didn't even pick up on missing a chapter...even with a new character. Old age is terrible. :+(
I won't be reposting Say You'll Never Love Me. I finally got the thing edited and it is now with beta readers. I've already heard back from one and she liked it, so that's good. When I finished the first draft, it had 82,000 words, but after I edited, it ended with about 70,000. I write so much crap that nobody wants to read, I have to really cut, cut, cut. Whole chapters.
I already have an idea for a new story, but won't start it for a while. I'm researching right now. It will be another new adult romance, but different from anything I've written...if I can pull it off.
I've always loved your story and can't wait for you to get it published.
~Ann
Thanks, Ann! You know you're the authority I turn to when it comes to the smooching scenes! Glad to hear you're almost ready to publish. Sorry I didn't catch up to your second draft pace, but I look forward to ordering my copy on Amazon, so please let me know when it's ready! As for your next romance idea, I'm certainly intrigued, and have no doubt you'll pull it off! Looking forward to your next posting... Gray:)
It's been a long time since I read a chapter, and coming back to it I have an impression, a sense.
You're using the historical present for the narrative. That can keep the reader immersed in action but it also requires that the reader remain closely engaged. Anything that breaks the immediacy risks losing the effect.
((Secrets. Lies. Misdirection. As we climb in silence, my thoughts return to the first time I saw the Aletheians in the ice tunnels beneath York. I should have known from the way they hid in the shadows with the rats. And even before then, when Allie used Lily and those telepathic bread crumbs to draw me away from the Washton attack. Or going all the way back to the beginning, when she let the Founders strip my mind so she could hide a dead girl’s memories inside me like a virus. Allie/Perrin. Lily/Liv. Even their names are two-faced! It’s been nothing but tricks and manipulation, right from the start.))
Here we have reflection that is -not- the act of discovery but instead description of what has -already- been concluded. And more and more I'm finding that such reflection spoils for me the immediacy of the first-person historical present.
Given how much you have staked on these choices, that's a pretty deep cut, and I don't think it's limited to this chapter. The way out would seem to be to frame the reflection as the act of discovery and recollection.
IMO and YMMV.
No, I don't think the Astrid/Wil scene is cheesy, or if it is, it's $40/lb cheese, not Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Food.
Hi njc:
Thanks for revisiting this. I'm glad my cheese was at least of the high-end variety! As for Wil's introspection slowing the pace, you bring up a really good point. I'll need to think through how to address this in my edits. I want him to have the kind of character depth that comes with moments of reflection, but not at the expense of overall suspense and flow. The passage you point out also served the simple purpose of reminding my readers that Liv=Lily and Perrin=Allie, since I feared these characters having two names (one "old" and one "new") might confuse my readers and I wanted to drop a gentle reminder. Thanks for pointing out this pacing issue... Gray
Hello, Gray. Very fitting title for this installment. Like the other chapters, this one is nimbly and imaginatively developed. The sidewinder effect remains; it's one of many ingredients that keep me tied to the chair. So, evidently - not apparently - Dylan/Liam is not a man of wholesome character.
It's very cool to see Astrid getting stronger as things go farther and farther south. Everything's making sense, Gray. I've got zero complaints about the dialogue or regarding Wil and Astrid's relationship.
Awesome reading!!
Peace,
Mike
Dylan's a tricky character, and you'll learn one of the reasons why soon enough. One of the things I'm trying to play with in this story is the notion of good and bad. While some characters clearly fall on one side or the other, others dwell in the middle ground and sometimes shift back and forth as the story progresses. Like Dax and, to a certain extent, all the Aletheians, I'm hoping to keep Dylan in that morally ambiguous territory. Take care! Gray
It's hard t tell who's manipulating whom. The only thing I know for sure is everybody's doing a number on Wil.

Well, maybe not Brenn and possibly his buddy, except that guy doesn't seem to do anything but hang out with his girlfriend and toss out one-liners. If Vin is going to do anything of value to the cause, he'd better do it pretty soon, or he'll just be a god in a box.

As for this romance between Wil and Astrid, did you rewrite the script, or is he still just crushing on her while she leads him around by the nose?

The story line is sound, the action scenes are riveting. It's just the human interaction that's keeping me awake at night.

I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh, because I love your writing. I'm sorry it doesn't sound like it today. jP
Thanks for your honest feedback JP. It's hardly harsh. I'd much rather get this type of review than a generic blowing sunshine and rainbows one, since that's what it takes to make these WIPs better. This scene is supposed to be the first place where Astrid finally opens up to Wil and lets her guard down. From this point forward, they're more of a team with less "hot and then cold" dynamics, but the romance aspect is going to be more complicated. In the last two chapters, I flip to Astrid's POV so I'm hoping she'll seem more appealing (especially since she'll be a POV character in the sequel, if I ever get there). Thanks again for sticking with this! Gray
Don Chambers