1,801

(14 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Kha has a horse named Horse.  He named it.  Not me :-)  He has also had horses named Trouble, Batshit and Moron.  For him, 'Horse' is a compliment.  If Kha lived in this world/ place/ time, he would have a cat and name it Speedbump. 

Ernie, go to the 'post your writing' on the top bar.  Your material will be displayed.  On the far left, underneath the long blue bar, you will see 'order' or something like that.  You can pick what works are displayed and in what order.  Put the new work as number 1 so that people will see it first.  Right now, the new story is dead last.  Just change the number to get the order to shift.

1,802

(30 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

Allen, I'm glad to read your material no matter what the level of your writing.  My stuff sucked until I joined this site.  When I started posting, my learning curve drastically improved.  You need to post and start opening yourself to well-intentioned nitpicking.  It's the only way to get better.  I'll also re-read after revisions so you can get a perspective on where you've improved.

Kind of like target practice at the range.  You can't get better aim until you shoot the gun :-)  Six months between attempts is wayyyyy too long!

1,803

(14 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You're next after New Jersey.

1,804

(11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Basic)

Michael,

One way to do it would be to make a group for Adult Fantasy and make an 'eyes only' post that only the people on your site could see.  Anybody else out there who has a different way that they know of?

My mom used to arrange for 'vacations' where the whole family got together for a bonding moment.  She would rent a cabin in the middle of nowhere and get my sister/ sister's kid/ me and my boyfriend, and the two parents together, and then shack us up in the middle of winter.  By the end, I couldn't wait to leave as the press of family got more and more overwhelming. 

So I get it.  My sympathies.

OOOOF!  I just read your reply about the first chapter of Christening and realized that I was beating your fictional self about the head and shoulders as I picked on Dani's foreign wife.  Bad Amy!  Not intentional!  (winces and slaps herself in the head)  Am I allowed a retraction?

Bad Amy!  Bad!

1,807

(217 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Sol,

I REALLY like the enhanced shortcuts to reviews, etc that appears on the home page.  It is now MUCH easier to reference a series of inline or regular reviews without concern of losing track of them.  I also love that the messages are quick-linked instead of just quickies.  Nice!

1,808

(2 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You filled in the roster nicely! Woohoo! I got the anchoring leg of the race!

1,809

(14 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Advice from one who knows. When I see how much work you put into the anthologies, you get a nod of admiration from me. I'm just delighted to have caught the boat so I can be along for the ride!

1,810

(2 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Give us an update on Storyhole.  I know that life interfered in your ability to make it to the publisher, but has life given you a chance to breathe?  Also, what is the next idea for the next book?  Any ideas for what the theme is?

1,811

(6 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

This is fun.  Maybe a novel set in the past could be a fun idea!

1,812

(6 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

Oh, look into the movies playing during this time.  Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, Ron Reagan (He did Bedtime for Bonzo in 1951), Maureen O'Hara, James Cagney, Boris Karlof, Michael Landon. (these are approximates-confirm their movie dates)

Flying Saucers were a big subject in cultural Americana.  Don't forget the concerns for Atomic Radiation and the H bomb, with concerns about the Russians and communist threat.  The Cold War is in full force.  The Berlin Airlift was the year before. Hollywood is blacklisting their actors and personelle.

The US was still fighting in Korea.  All of these details can be sprinkled through the book to add color to your time-line.

1,813

(6 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

Saying for Truman was 'Give 'em hell, Harry!

A

1,814

(6 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

Oh, no freeways.  Those didn't come into existence until Eisenhower, whose terms were 1953-1961.  Mention that Truman is president somewhere.

1,815

(6 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

My husband is still coming up with ideas, FYI.  Don't forget drive-in movie theaters, also drive-in restaurants (Like what Sonics is today)  Rollerskating waitresses with car-hops.  A&W, Big Boy, Frisches, Manor's, Shoney's are the names.  (Shoney's were on the East Coast)

We'll keep going as the ideas come up.

1,816

(520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Which 2 new chapters did you post?  Give me the numbers so I don't have to hunt

1,817

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I don't know how to post a pic on the forum either.  Do you mean Chapter 2 rewrite for the second book?

1,818

(6 replies, posted in Cop Shop)

I went through a list of 'color' ideas with my husband. IE products and words that would identify you time period as the 50's.

The coffee would be made with a percolator

Playtex was the epuivalent of Victoria's Secret and high end underwear. Maiden form was a big name.

There would be an ice box and the milk man would deliver milk and cream three times a week. There would be ice deliveries by the ice man

Doctors made house calls

If this is in NY there are trolley cars and there would be a spiderweb of power lines above the street

In the 50s there might be horse drawn delivery vehicles

Bakelite is the poor mans plastic and ashtrays, electronics, flooring, and figurines would be made from this.
She would also have a radio. T Vs aren't common yet.

Everyone smokes. The hard boiled babe would light up with her coffee to wake up.

There might be horsehair cushions on the sofa.

Consider metal springs under the mattress.

The Murphy Bed was HUGE in single room apartments in NY
There would be an iron and board in the apartment.
There might be a pic from Nirman Rockwell on the wall. Maxfield  Parish was big in the 40s and might also be used as a decoration.
Hope these helped you!

Sears Roebuck existed. She might go past a Montgomery Ward.
Small restaurants were everywhere, but there were Automats in NY with lines of self serve food on plates (like a cafeteria)

I'll read the other two and then give you some thoughts on the big picture.  Till then, I'm just nit-picking on stuff here and there.

Duck!  PIE!  (Have you ever seen the Great Race?  The best pie fight EVER)

NJC, I believe that as long as you satisfy the minimum, you can add as many extra comments but don't get any extra points for it.  You still get review credit for the in-line review only.  I don't think our credits update until the next time you sign in, which is why you might be thinking the work was done for free.

Sol, I appreciate the listing of author comments on the alerts at the top of the page.  I'm able to find them much easier this way.  I also noted the change of the clock until the website signs you off.  Big difference.  Thanks.

A

Heavy on the page means long stretches of long paragraphs.  It also (at least to me) means long chapters of self-reflection without some reality mixed in.  Other than the counting, this first chapter is a lot of memories separated from the mother counting placemats.  If she picked up the wedding announcement and read it, appalled that she wasn't invited, that would an event.  Instead, we participate in her reflection with the marriage certificate being commented on instead of being part of the real world.   Does that make sense?

1,823

(520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I see that you posted but I don't know where.  What chapter needs reveiwing?

Sorry, folks.  That was incorrect.  It's under 'Read' but we need to look under 'Groups Content' to see what the people in these groups have recently posted.  It doesn't let us know what anyone outside our group has thrown onto the site.

As long as we announce them on this Group, we've got an announcement system in place.  Sol said that the info is under 'Read' with the drop bar going to 'published'.  We just have to look past the pictures and decide if we want to read a new author, since books and short stories seem to be mixed together under this organization system.

A