Great job of including the prayer. It flowed and wasn’t stilted.
1 2019-01-17 22:40:12
Re: The Lord of the Earth by Dirk B. (1,385 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
2 2019-01-13 01:54:37
Re: 2,000 Years Later - Will H. (38 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Take what Temple says with a grain of salt.Dont get me wrong, the girl has skilz, but she lacks a teaching bug. Take it that you need to work on dialogue and that is all. I usually read my stuff out loud to get the voices right. Then I have the computer read it to me. It lets you hear stilted phrasing and unnatural wordings. It can sometimes be a quick fix
3 2018-12-19 21:08:25
Re: The Sorcerer's Progress (1,708 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Anything you want read? I might have some energy this next week
4 2018-12-19 21:06:43
Re: 2,000 Years Later - Will H. (38 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
The Fourth Millenia
Two Millennia Later
Lost in the Next Millenia
5 2018-11-11 02:16:01
Re: The Lord of the Earth by Dirk B. (1,385 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
I’ll try to find some time and energy
6 2018-10-24 00:24:40
Re: Maiden and other stuff (52 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Give yourself the time to heal
7 2018-08-28 22:09:56
Re: The Sorcerer's Progress (1,708 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
looking forward to it
8 2018-07-24 16:40:18
Re: Maiden and other stuff (52 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Good one, sister
9 2018-07-24 16:40:17
Re: Maiden and other stuff (52 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Good one, sister
10 2018-07-24 13:28:11
Re: Maiden and other stuff (52 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Yes
11 2018-07-24 13:28:11
Re: Maiden and other stuff (52 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Yes
12 2018-07-18 00:18:58
Re: WIP: Exile in Time (29 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
What is the order of the Rhiannon series? Do. You want critique on book one?
13 2018-07-07 20:31:43
Re: The Galaxy Tales v1-3 by Dirk B. (1,241 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
T3 reminds me of terminator 3 the movie. Call it T cubed and you are fine
14 2018-07-07 20:24:16
Re: Projects (15 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
He needs to finish it so he gets time to write. Priorities
15 2018-07-06 02:27:23
Re: The Galaxy Tales v1-3 by Dirk B. (1,241 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
ten words is pretty extreme IMO. Choices of words can mentally shorten the length of a sentence. Hard clipped words imply action. Fewer syllables. They make a big difference.
16 2018-07-02 01:48:55
Re: The Lord of the Earth by Dirk B. (1,385 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Watch the movie Stigmata. Great allusions and Catholic kinda evil moments
Good deaths
Nailed to the floor with half the body enclosed under the flooring
wrapped in thorns for the entire body with roses blooming and the vines still alive
17 2018-06-30 23:42:03
Re: The Lord of the Earth by Dirk B. (1,385 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
If the nails have no sound then the screams can be muffled
Too
18 2018-06-28 00:11:31
Re: The Galaxy Tales v1-3 by Dirk B. (1,241 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
I caught that Luke wasn’t there. No footprints in the white/red sand
19 2018-06-08 21:25:56
Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (1,905 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Keep reading and you’ll find out:-)
20 2018-06-08 04:00:51
Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (1,905 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
I have a new chapter published in Mantle of Magic. I got everybody to the Pass. Now I need a beer to celebrate. About time that I published something new.
21 2018-06-05 19:05:07
Re: The Lord of the Earth by Dirk B. (1,385 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Try Numbers or Medium
22 2018-06-02 04:50:22
Re: The Galaxy Tales v1-3 by Dirk B. (1,241 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Oh, it is just a guess, but size shouldn't matter with scurvy since Vit C is a water soluble vitamin and whatever you don't metabolize gets peed out. It just matters when your last dose occurred.
They should have pineapples on the island.
You can eat the peels and get vitamin C from there.
The skipper's teeth should have been falling out.
23 2018-06-02 04:45:10
Re: The Galaxy Tales v1-3 by Dirk B. (1,241 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
I think of Gilligan's Island as a dream sequence where you wake up and breathe a sigh of relief that it isn't real.
24 2018-06-02 04:41:37
Re: The Lord of the Earth by Dirk B. (1,385 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Can someone please tell me why there is a comma in the following sentence: T i a thought they might have more landing areas closer to the centre, but couldn’t make any out. I lifted that sentence from Kdot, so I assume it's correct, but I can't find any online rules about this one.
Thanks
Dirk
Conjunction Junction, what's your function? And, but, and or are conjunctions. Since there would be a comma if that sentence contained 'and', it is appropriate to apply a comma before 'but'.
I think I knew an answer. I may faint.
25 2018-05-30 06:49:56
Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread (354 replies, posted in Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi)
Come back to us when you have time to breathe