Great job of including the prayer. It flowed and wasn’t stilted.

Take what Temple says with a grain of salt.Dont get me wrong, the girl has skilz, but she lacks a teaching bug. Take it that you need to work on dialogue and that is all. I usually read my stuff out loud to get the voices right. Then I have the computer read it to me. It lets you hear stilted phrasing and unnatural wordings. It can sometimes be a quick fix


(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Anything you want read? I might have some energy this next week

The Fourth Millenia
Two Millennia Later
Lost in the Next Millenia

I’ll try to find some time and energy

Give yourself the time to heal


(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

looking forward to it

Good one, sister

Good one, sister




(29 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

What is the order of the Rhiannon series? Do. You want critique on book one?

T3 reminds me of terminator 3 the movie. Call it T cubed and you are fine


(15 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

He needs to finish it so he gets time to write. Priorities

ten words is pretty extreme IMO. Choices of words can mentally shorten the length of a sentence. Hard clipped words imply action. Fewer syllables. They make a big difference.

Watch the movie Stigmata. Great allusions and Catholic kinda evil moments

Good deaths

Nailed to the floor with half the body enclosed under the flooring
wrapped in thorns for the entire body with roses blooming and the vines still alive

If the nails have no sound then the screams can be muffled

I caught that Luke wasn’t there. No footprints in the white/red sand

Keep reading and you’ll find out:-)

I have a new chapter published in Mantle of Magic. I got everybody to the Pass. Now I need a beer to celebrate. About time that I published something new.

Try Numbers or Medium

Oh, it is just a guess, but size shouldn't matter with scurvy since Vit C is a water soluble vitamin and whatever you don't metabolize gets peed out. It just matters when your last dose occurred.

They should have pineapples on the island.

You can eat the peels and get vitamin C from there.

The skipper's teeth should have been falling out.

I think of Gilligan's Island as a dream sequence where you wake up and breathe a sigh of relief that it isn't real.

Norm d'Plume wrote:

Can someone please tell me why there is a comma in the following sentence: T i a thought they might have more landing areas closer to the centre, but couldn’t make any out. I lifted that sentence from Kdot, so I assume it's correct, but I can't find any online rules about this one.


Conjunction Junction, what's your function? And, but, and or are conjunctions. Since there would be a comma if that sentence contained 'and', it is appropriate to apply a comma before 'but'.

I think I knew an answer. I may faint.

Come back to us when you have time to breathe