1,476 (edited by njc 2018-10-26 02:12:36)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I can't write about these characters without knowing them, and I don't want a reader to say "That can't work.  How do they pay for their food?"


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Okay, after finding holes and glitches in the story, I think I have backstory for these characters worked out.  I need to type it up and see if it still looks good.  I may put it up here, though perhaps not as a chapter   Then we can see about moving the story forward.

1,478 (edited by Kdot 2018-10-30 06:43:37)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

There are no plot holes until amy has wandered along and found some plank your mc has overlooked and the story bursts into flame


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Got about 2/3 the way through typing it up.  I found I had something else to do first.  Got Lortimer, Irvat, Arlain, Sonshou, Vanshou, and started on Thorodeus.  Pausonallie comes last.  Looks like the ensemble I wanted, but we know why they are who they are.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Nor are they part of what the characters are.

Ah, but to what extend does our external stimuli become a part of what we are?

If I told you my grand mother was a hoarder, you might say "ok".
If I told you she lived through the Great Depression, you might say "ah-ha!"

In my current WIP it's "peacetime" so I'm painting the local characters as "trusting". Except Nova. She's plotting and distrusting. Why is she distrusting... because the (local authority) is out to stick it to her. I've allowed this external factor to colour her.

That's kinda what I missed in yours a sort of "X is on path Y because of factor Z"

For instance, what is it about Lortimer that would make him want to invite the other student for dinner, evidently for the sole reason that he's serous? (Maybe he was shown kindness once and now tries to deliver it back? if so, how does this drive his soul?)

You touched on P's family-member's death, but now how that has affected her? If not at all, that's just as telling as if she's developed a tendency to check in on people to their distraction / annoyance).

I wasn't looking for meaning attacked to every character tick, tho. Was just observing that I didn't spot any


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Okay.  It's outline marerial for me, not a full narrative.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I've spent the last couple of day's work sessions hunting for the notes I was working on before I did the Count Lundersot chapter.  They include characters and backstory.  I've found most of them, and hope to get immersed and productive before Christmas.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Anything you want read? I might have some energy this next week


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Did you do Count Lundersot?

1,485 (edited by Dirk B. 2018-12-21 01:39:32)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

njc, you're a grammar guru. Can you please tell me if my use of wearing is correct? One of my reviewers says it should be wear, and he's probably right, although I find it odd to write it that way.

Calabrese was the only priest at Orfanotrofio di San Nicola who never stooped to wearing the simple uniform of the other priests: black shirt, black pants, and a tabbed collar.

EDIT: After reading it a dozen times, wear does sound correct. Is wearing correct too? Just curious.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Confound.  I just put up a reply and it disappeared.

I'm on the smartphone, whose keyboard can charitably be called rebarbative.  I won't repeat all the logic I went through, but it looks like you need the 'ing', to give the 'to' an object that is or acts like a noun,  in this case a gerund.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress



Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Each time I think I've got the next chapter half done, I find myself saying 'No, that's too damn long for the action around it.'  I'm also trying to assimilate lessons from the recent FBeasts movie, good (eliciting empathy, depicting depravity) and bad (over-use of technique, excess complexity).


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I've not seen the movie, but I can say excess complexity is a real problem for the big names. I find myself reluctant to keep up with O.S.Card and Kim Stanley Robinson for this reason. Love the writing, love the worlds, but it's just too much /work/ to read


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

"Each level was obliquely protected by out-thrusting battlements corniced and groined at the odd enjambments.  Each odd enjambment was set perpendicular to every adjacent even one-way thoroughfare.  Needless to say, the inhabitants were always late for their appointments, if not totally lost."
      ---- =Bored of the Rings=
I'm struggling with some geometrical architectonics, trying to spare the Library of the Academy from the fate of Minas Trony.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I had to google "Bored of the Rings" and I must say the character names are hilarious.

"Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt," == oh dear


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And the brothers Handlebar and Hersheybar.  This is so-bad-it's-good carried to the level of a literary atrocity.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

You still with us?


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Good Lurymants never land


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I'm here ... and trying to clear some tasks to my multitasking limit.  Unfortunately the State of New Jersey has allowed Verizon to completely default on its obligation to keep the phones working in all circumstances, and copper-wired, centrally-powered service (POTS--Plain Old Telephone Service) is ending in favor of Fiber-to-the-Home, with power backup provided by D-cell batteries that are only expected to last for 24 hours.  ("Don't turn it on unless you are expecting a call."--Seriously!?  Then what good is it?)  Worse, I fear there may be active circuitry in the battery box, making it hard to cutover automatically and hard to replace.  I may need to go for a full UP$, with 400 Wh or more. $$$$$$$

I have to clear wall space, etc., while I'm trying to get other projects cleared.

I am seriously pissed with both Verizon and the gutless, witless utility regulators, and I hope that people rip the government officials off in their personal lives the way Verizon has ripped off the people they are supposed to represent.


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In Alberta, the utilities are not a serious problem, but the cable companies could make Comcast look like customer service nirvana. "You are number 91 in the queue. Your approximate hold time is two hours and thirty-five minutes." Fortunately, they do now have callback functionality.

Good to see you're still here, by the way.


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

njc wrote:

I am seriously pissed with both Verizon and the gutless, witless utility regulators, and I hope that people rip the government officials off in their personal lives the way Verizon has ripped off the people they are supposed to represent.

In the words of Alma TCBoyken's (catrotatorsquarterly.com) Tycho Rhonorida: "If he weren't a schaef he wouldn't have been fleeced."


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It gets better. Today I was number 371 in the queue. That's just hilarious. They do have cable company stores for those who want to personally wring someone's neck. The easiest way to find them in a large mall is to look for angry people standing in a line that runs all the way out of the store. But, if the people in line are carrying sleeping bags, then it's probably an Apple store in September.

Years ago, the Alberta government still handled all drivers' license renewals, new drivers' licenses, etc. They had a very big building with about two hundred chairs. When they privatized many of their services, little shops opened up across Calgary. I walked in and there were only eight empty chairs and free coffee. I had barely put my butt in the chair when they called me up.


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Years ago, the Alberta government still handled all drivers' license renewals, new drivers' licenses, etc.

ew! Ontario went electronic.

We have a private company running our (only) toll road and it's been a nightmare. Botched data... private company withholding your driver's license for toll fees. Just about as awful as it gets


Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

It's mostly electronic with us, too, but you still need to go somewhere to get your picture taken, trade in foreign driver's licenses, take a driving test, etc. When I got back to Canada, my passport and NJ driver's license were, naturally, insufficient for me to prove that I was a resident. They wanted a statement signed by a bank officer that I had an address in Alberta. When we got back to the licensing place, they then said that's not good enough. It needed to be in an envelope sent through the mail (i.e., mailed from/to Alberta). I finally asked for a manager and they said my mother, who was with me, could swear an oath that I'm a resident, otherwise it would have been three trips and several more days of nonsense.