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I haven't named three of the main Houses in the city.  One just became Norwood.

Sic him.  He plays tough, but he loves the attention.  :-)

The biggest thought I had is that I had a LOT of trouble remembering the names of the maga.  They all end in A.  They all have similar syllables.  One starts with G, and I think one starts with S.  Since you want to introduce them in the first chapter, make the snake-shape shifter the primary focus, emphasize her name from the beginning (instead of separating the snake/ maga as if they are separate personalities), and use nicknames for the other two maga.  (Short and monosyllables of possible) to encourage retention.   

I realize this is your third book, so this may not be possible.  However, if you can't make the characters easier to retain, then consider having the snake maga rescue the princess without backup.  That way, the other characters can be introduced in different chapters.

And would she notice Matthew while he pops back her shoulder?  Probably afterwards if he holds her until she stops crying.  But then would a tough chick cry?  I've seen a lady pop her shoulder and have it put back (She would definitely notice Matthew, but not in a positive way.  The first time a shoulder dislocates is different from a chronic injury, which is what you probably saw.  Would a tough chick cry?  Hell yeah.  Real pain makes people revert to behaviors that they had as kids.  Some get mad, some sad, some loud, but it isn't a sign of toughness to cry or not cry.  It's a sign of their childhood and how they are programmed to react. 

I spilled boiling grease on my leg as a teen.  My response was to scream.  I let out two sharp, top of my lung howls and then I got all shocky and pale.  So the short answer is that you can pick C's reaction based on her upbringing. 

I'm really sorry that I complicated your life about the rewrite of Chapter 1.  That wasn't my intent.  As to the injury, here is another idea.  If you have the arrow go into the back of C's upper arm and wedge itself into the bone, the arrow will stick, require manipulation to remove the arrow-point, and isn't near any big blood vessels.  This way, you just grab the arrow shaft with a cloth for good purchase, and wiggle the point until it comes free.  It would hurt like hell, and there would be a lot of stress about the arrowhead breaking off so that they wouldn't be able to get it out (this would likely result in infection and she could lose her arm according to the healer)  You would avoid pushing-the-arrow-out-through-the-skin and just pull it free. 

This would go along with the concept that the arrow was shot by an expert marksman and intended to kill...the arrow just stopped  because it hit the bone.  It also would mean that C could flex her arm (biceps wouldn't be affected) and extending her arm (the opposite movement) would hurt like hell but gravity could do most of the work. 

Just let it bleed a lot to explain why the wound doesn't get infected (from the muscle rather than a severed artery).  That way, the blood loss is something that she recovers from in 2-3 days and feels a lot better.

How does this idea work?

A

You're back to writing again!  The biggest disadvantage to this transition is that everyone put their writing on hold as they learned to navigate the site.  Good to see that you're typing and thinking about something fun again!

OK, lesser injuries...

A close miss with a laceration through the soft tissue of the upper arm or leg.  If it were the thigh, realize that the arrow would get stuck going through the fabric of her skirt and stick in the saddle (saving the horse, causing a lot of blood loss and leaving most of her muscles intact)  This would allow Matthew to see her leg as he checked for active bleeding.  It also would mean that she couldn't get off the saddle and he would have to do his power/flex move to remove the arrow (thereby getting close enough to let her smell his manliness)

If the horse is shot, she might be able to kick off, saving the broken bones from the horse falling on her.  (Just saying) 

Do you like the laceration instead of the impalement?  I think the blood loss alone is something she could heal from in short order and still function within the story.

I'm going to try to post and see what happens.  More later.

Sol, take a deep breath.  Starting a new website is like warming up for the race.  The warmup is the time where you get loose and ready for the real competition.  Then the race starts, and everything gets crazy as people interact more. 

That said, here is an idea for making this website stronger.  Your color and type-face choices are harder to read than the previous bold type of the old website.  Since a large portion of your clients are over the age of 50 (Shuffles feet and looks around...no not me, uh-uh.), consider having a streamlined site for the vision impaired.  Use bigger/ darker type, delete the shelved book option to eliminate clutter, and keep the forum concept.  All you would have to do is make a starter link on the sign-on page from the home page with the moon picture. 

Easy for me to say since you've worked on this for a million years and now I'm worse than a back-seat driver by bringing this up now.  But I can see this idea paying off in spades.  Just something to think about. 

A

OK, this works better I think.  I'll be checking here instead of on the previous forum so everything is in the same place.

I have been thinking, lots.  And it does hurt, thanks for asking!  So here goes ...

Matthew and the guys reach the valley, Catherine gets shot, really badly.  They can't move her far, so returning to Dacre Tower is out.  I'll have them take her to a nearby cottage, have an old village wife treat her there - they were always prepared for forays and shit given the general situation on the border.  Matthew won't mind, because Catherine isn't going anywhere fast with a wound like that.  So he'll come back for her later when she's better.

Matthew and the guys look at the arrow and look for Isaac - it will take longer because Isaac went into hiding, his father and sister don't know where he is, yadida-yadida.  But yeah, no way Isaac can hide from Tom or Matthew for long.  Two days MAX.  And just before Matthew loses his mind, he returns to the hamlet to have the confrontation with Catherine - let me know the earliest he can do that please?!  Every day here makes a difference, because I have to keep Matthew busy with all kinds of shit while not making him look like an incompetent idiot in the process.  And he can't have any spare time to think about going to Aiden Tower and asking a few pertinent questions - that would totally fuck-up-excuse-my-French the COMPLETE plot.  But I guess I can keep him busy, have some sort of real trouble somewhere to go and sort out or some such.  He finally confronts Catherine - desk will become a (sturdy) trestle table  - and we're back to where I am now.

So this means most of the chapters will have to be updated.  BUT, it would be worth it, because I have a really good idea what to do with her arm later.  A REALLY good idea (well, I think!).  So yeah, back to the drawing board, I'll repost as I go.  Activity on the new site has picked up considerably, so it seems as if everyone was just spinning wheels waiting for it ...

LOL!  It's one massive one-inch, this is romance after all!

From you to me on 11/13

Heya Amy,

The devil might be in the detail, but I think you're right, this idea of yours could make the first chapter, well, a first chapter!  It's definitely not the easy way, but then again, no one ever said writing first chapters is a breeze.  LOL  But I actually like your idea.  Heaps.  It would keep the reader in suspense what the hell Catherine was doing there etc. etc. (and all the things you've mentioned).  <------ I'm stubborn, yet open-minded!  WTF?   

I'm fast running out of ways to thank you, and others, on this site for all your wonderful suggestions and ideas and support ...  But in any case, a big thank you for investing in this and all your help/support!

I've also been thinking of ways to only have her move her arm after a week, but Matthew isn't a virtue of patience, so, so far, I've only been hitting walls (he's also not incompetent, so them taking a week or more to find Isaac is also not going to happen!).  And I don't want him to be an abuser - if she's that badly hurt, he won't lock her up or do anything more than asking and yelling.  But I haven't completely discarded your opinion yet ...  (just so you know!)  It could actually also work out better later on if she actually did hurt her arm really badly.  But I'm still thinking on that one.  Having her arm in a tight sling to keep it from moving is what I have for now.  *Yawns*  If all else fails, I'll put in a disclaimer for all ER professionals that Amy told me so and to just go with the flow! 

Re your other thoughts, absolutely, I keep all of them and do make changes based on those kinds of feedback.  So when I explained to you about the size of the towers and the bathing, I actually meant to say it will be expanded and those kind of details will be worked into the scenes to make sure there will not be any confusion again.  So that kind of feedback is really great to smooth things for others! 

ps - Matthew isn't happy with you (and he has a sword).  He was 1-inch away from getting some nooky when I saw this post, and now he has to wait until I've redone the first chapter before he's going to see (get) some action ....  LOL 

I know what you've said about getting the first draft done, but given it's a big change, I'll interrupt the flow to do it now, otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on writing the rest of the chapters ...  I'll just wrap up the chapter I'm busy with now, go back to START, don't collect $200, and then I'll be going again on the rest of the story soon. 

I'll probably repost the first chapter, and then I'll review some work for njc, and that way, someone would have a good look over the reworked chapter.  <----- that's the plan for now, at least!

Thanks a mill for this! 

Janet