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Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive.  Mean enough to catch people who don't deserve to be free and Smart enough to figure out when a person is innocent.

I'm not telling Sol that I desperately need to have access to the 'reviews received/ reviews given' option.  I just said that I missed it.  I realize that it's a huge frustration to Sol to have a massive effort like this new site to be questioned after-the-fact. 

I'll look at the Read option.  I haven't used that yet.  (wrinkles brow and decides to start hitting random buttons again.  Hey, it works for my sons)

A

Are you done with the new chapter yet?  I have some time to review.

I'm afraid that I'm going to sound stupid here, but here we go.  If I post to a non-points site with a short story (as well as premium TNBW), and then put (publish) my story onto a group, are you saying that no one who reviews this is going to get points for reading it?

I'll get to "Devoutly to Be Wished" next. 

Since you seemed to like Kha's story the best, I'd appreciate if you could review the 2nd and third chapters to see if you keep interest.  Let me know where I lost you and what you would do differently. 

A

I had an incident while I was walking home from high school.  A stranger stopped on the 45 mph street and offered me a ride home.  I said no, but he repeated the offer.  I stepped away since he was creepy and then hid behind a set of pine trees in case he turned around and started following me. 

I never told my parents.  In retrospect, I have to wonder why.  My plan at the time was to tell them if I ever saw the guy again.  My gut has always served me well, and I distinctly remember the feeling of malice coming from that car.  Could he have been a serial killer or molester?  Did I come close to being a missing person?  Why didn't I tell anyone and give his description to the police?  If I had seen his license plate, could I have saved someone else? 

Lots of unanswered questions, but this made me think.  This is the first time I've put this in print, JP.  Thanks.

A

Just imagine the confusion that will be going around on this site with two Houses of Norwood.  Let me know if you need ancestral names of the family! (Maybe I could mess with you and make it Norwook.  Just kidding.  Since these people are based on a real geneology, what was Matthew's mother's maiden name?  Not that I'm going to start flinging momma jokes at him.  No, not me (chuckles))

Here's a thought.  Consider having the first chapter ending with the sound of rubble being moved, Eliasara trying to go down the stairs but realizing they are blocked by both stone and guards, and Ghemena realizing that she's blown the advantage of silence.  That way, your characters are at risk, the tension is very much present, and the other two maga haven't been introduced yet.  (simplifies the character list)

In my opinion, this makes the danger more personal than a successful escape.  Your present hook (that Eliasara is the one who will save the world) is a distant threat and doesn't apply to the present. 

A

I love the idea of adding 'the wisdom of Kha' in a section of my website.  That is a marvelous idea for something to interest those who browse through that type of material.   I already decided to add the short stories about my son and work to the 'meet the author' part.  The short stories like Dwarven Heart are going to be thrown up there for anyone who cares, along with the story about Airen and the giant.  Any other ideas?  Let me know over on my thread

You have several moments of pure brilliance in this, mixed with parts that are wrong.  I am still bowing in your direction because you have found your way into discovering specific parts that no one else has been able to pick out.  (so far only New Jersey and Ernie have tried, so thank you) Here's what I'll give you.  Whoever made the guildhouse is greater than Faulter.  However, the guildhouse was not created by either Behira or Saundon.  It existed before they became gods. 

Wrong parts...Airen is not Behira.  Fester is not Faulter.  Anver is not Saundon.  Zyrtec is not Zwamborn.  Remember that I don't like to write about gods.  I want the little people to shine and be the answer.  And if I turned Sosol into anything, it would be a kitten in Kajo's honor (meow)