Only one month from med school graduation, Ethan Chase is about to start the life of his dreams, with a promising career in plastic surgery and a supermodel-with-a-Harvard-degree fiancée. Getting there hasn’t been easy. Five years earlier, a car wreck almost killed him. The accident still casts a shadow over his life, as do the tragic circumstances surrounding it. But he’s finally ready to move on. All that stands in the way is one last med school rotation. Psychiatry is out of his comfort zone, but at least he won’t be on call overnight.
Callahan Perrin is a young prodigy with a troubled past. Famous since childhood for her haunting and unique art, her gift is also her curse. She’s got every reason to be happy. A new art exhibit that’s getting rave reviews. A starring role in her own wildly popular reality TV show. Graduation from Brown in a couple of months. Plenty of friends and a roommate who loves her. So what is she doing in Belmont Springs Hospital, days after her latest suicide attempt?
When Ethan is assigned to be Callie’s med student, neither one of them wants to be there. She’s looking to get out of Belmont as fast as possible. He’s counting down the days to graduation and his wedding. So what if they share a warped sense of humor? Or get so wrapped up in their conversations that hours feel like minutes? Forget chemistry. Romance is off limits. After all, who would be crazy enough to fall in love in a psych ward?
WHEN SHE FALLS, a contemporary romance, is complete at 67,000 words.
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You've touched the bases without getting too specific. I don't see anything amiss in the query. Will it be directed at agents, publishers, or both? Regardless, you should target those who are heavy in the Romance genre. Visiting websites will help to ascertain this See what books have been accepted by them. You likely know this already, but I'm just putting my pair of pennies in.
Good luck!
Jack
Thanks, Jack. I really hate writing query letters. It's hard to distill and entire story in around 250 words, but I guess there's no way out of this if I want to look for an agent. My last experience with TROPHY WIFE was frustrating, to say the least, so I figure I'll try to get a professional editor to help me with my manuscript first, then see where it goes from there.
Thanks again for all your help. I saw you posted another chapter of Amazon Encounter so I'm off to check that out now.
Gray
Getting there hasn’t been easy. Is the word 'there' the right one for this sentence. The sentence before it sounds present which would use the word 'here' instead of there. Could just be me.
their conversations that hours feel like minutes? I'd delete "that"
What an agent is looking for depends on the agent. I've had face to face meetings with two different agents in the same day pushing the same story...where one loved every word and one hated every word!
So...I have no idea how to advise you. It just takes a lot of luck to hook up with the right one who likes your genre, style, and story arc.
The best I can offer is good luck.
I think the query is well written. In the bio portion, I suggest you play up your credentials—and in this day and time, a large social media following means more than talent. It shows an agent you already have a fan base which translates to sales!!
~Ann
Thanks for checking this out, Ann. I really hate queries, and the whole marketing process basically sucks in my book. It's been a total bust so far with my prior works, although I lost steam with FOUNDERS. TROPHY was brutal, with a few nibbles but I got the sense it would be an uphill climb to get even an agent, never mind moving on to the "find a publisher" round. As for my social media footprint, Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster have greater visibility than I do. Alas, if I hear crickets again, maybe I'll stick to Derm. Thanks as always for the keen advice. I hope all is well in Texas, and that you had a pleasant Turkey Day with your family!
Gray
I think this is flawless or very near it. You do a fine job with the plot line and you don't ever tip your hand. Your sentences, like in the story, are exquisitely crafted, making the story line clear and interesting. I really can't see anything wrong, but then again, I'm far from expert in read-reviews :-0
Anyway, BEST wishes, Gray!!
Mike
Thanks, Mike. I'm concerned this doesn't have a strong enough hook to elevate my query above the slush pile. I've decided to get a developmental editor to look over my query and the entire manuscript to give me (hopefully) some guidance. I'm kind of anxious to see what she'll say and suggest. Hopefully it won't be to shelve this and try working on something else. I really poured my heart into this little story over the past couple of years, but that's writing for you. It's easy to toil away in obscurity, and those who get discouraged easily won't stick with it for long. I've always loved reading and writing, but science always came more easily to me, so when I had to make a decision which career path to follow, the choice was easy. I went with the stable, reliable but unflashy bride (a career in medicine) and walked away from the gorgeous but flighty, flashy supermodel who I knew would only break my heart in the end (a career in writing). Must say, I don't regret the decision. If I had to rely on writing for a livelihood, I would hate it with a passion by now!
Best wishes for a 2021 that's a hell of a lot better than 2020!
Gray
jack the knife