Friday, March 27th, 9:15 AM
Callie
Callie took a deep breath, then picked up the phone and dialed. She was in a small media room near the nurses’ station, where they allowed residents to take phone calls at designated times. She’d been avoiding this one for days.
“Hi," she said when the line connected. “It’s me.”
“I didn’t know if you’d call.” Maya sounded cool and detached. Not surprising given everything that had happened over the past few month. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Callie swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thanks for sending my stuff. Otherwise, I’d have nothing to wear but straitjackets for a month.”
Silence on the other end of the line. Maya usually laughed at her jokes, even the lame ones. It surprised her how much she missed that musical sound.
“Listen,” her roommate finally said. “I’ve gotta go to class. Glad you called and that you’re doing better, Cal. I’ll pack your things this week so you can pick them up when you’re ready.”
Callie tapped the phone receiver to her temple. This was even harder than she’d expected. Why did she think Maya would be any different? Friendship only took you so far. Sooner or later, even the best people got tired of her bullshit. Tired of being let down.
“Hey. I’m going to ask Bridget to send you a check for this month’s rent and utilities,” she said. “I’ll cover the rest of the year through graduation. I know money’s tight. You shouldn’t have to worry about that sort of thing.”
Maya sighed and she pictured her closing her eyes and slowly exhaling, the way she always did during stressful situations. “That’s not necessary. I’ll pay the bills. You don’t live here anymore.”
“I know, but…” Callie chewed her lower lip, which was already chapped and raw. “I just want to help. You’ve always been there for me. I wish –” She choked off a sob, remembering some of the cruel things she’d said last month. “I never meant to hurt you. It’s just… this is who I am. I hurt the people I love. I don’t know why. I hate myself for it.”
Silence on the other end of the line. Then a deeper sigh. “I’m a psych major, Cal. I know the deal. Intellectually… I mean, part of me knew what getting into a relationship with you would be like. The warning signs were there, but I thought I could handle it. That you’d be worth all the drama. Maybe you are, but it just doesn’t feel that way right now.”
“I know.” Tears pricked Callie’s eyes. It felt like invisible hands were slowly choking her. “I’m sorry. You deserve so much better.”
“You sound like you’re in a better place.”
“I am, M. I’ve met some good people here. I think they can help me get back on track. Maybe get back to school. Finish my thesis. If I bust my ass, I might be able to graduate next fall. I really…”
She sniffed, thinking of the magical commencement ceremony that happened at Brown every Memorial Day weekend. The long procession of professors, alumni and finally, the graduating class in their caps and gowns, all waving to the cheering crowd. She pictured her classmates winding their way around campus, across the main green to walk through the ornate, wrought iron gates that only opened twice a year, then taking a final victory lap down College Hill, all to the celebratory ringing of chapel bells.
“…I always thought we’d be walking through the Van Wickle Gates together.”
“We’ll get other chances,” Maya said. “Once a year, for the rest of our lives after we get that diploma. That’s what 70K a year buys us, right? Maybe someday, I’ll even pay off my student loans.”
Callie laughed at the joke and wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn’t deserve Maya’s friendship, but maybe there was still hope they could build something new from the wreckage she’d left behind.
“When I get back, maybe we can meet on Thayer for some bubble tea?” she suggested. Maya had a sweet tooth. One of the many things they shared in common.
“We’ll see. Take it one day at a time, Cal. And whatever you do, don’t let that toxic bitch back into your life.”
Maya had met Elin once, and of course they’d talked about her, along with everything else. For countless hours, deep into the night. No one knew more about her baggage.
“She came to see me, you know.”
“I’m not surprised. That woman’s a vampire and she’ll suck you dry. This time, don’t let her.”
“I won’t.”
“Listen, I really do have to get to my statistics class. I’m late already.”
Callie fidgeted with the phone cord. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d used anything but a cell. “Maybe we can talk again sometime next week?” she asked, trying not to sound too clingy. “I mean, if you’re not too busy.”
“I’m –” Maya’s voice hitched. “Next week might be tough, with finals coming up and everything. I’ve heard Belmont is one of the best hospitals in the country. Let them help you. Don’t rush it this time.”
Callie sniffed again, suddenly feeling like a little kid. “Okay.”
“Take care of yourself, girl.”
“I’ll try,” Callie promised, but her voice echoed back to her.
Maya had already ended the call.
*
10:45 AM
Robo-shrink had mellowed lately. When she asked the daily mental health questions, she sounded less rushed. She strayed from the usual script to ask if there was anything Callie needed – more art supplies or maybe a book or some music. She even complimented the halo braid Callie had weaved into her hair that morning.
After wrapping up the exam, Choi sat down beside her on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry about what happened yesterday. Your mother got under my skin. I should have handled the situation better.”
Callie shook her head. “Actually, I thought you handled Elin perfectly. Your security guy should’ve used his taser, but otherwise, she got exactly what she deserved.”
“Your mother is a piece of work, all right. I must admit, I didn’t believe some of the things I read about her in your chart, but now that I’ve seen her first hand…” She puffed out a breath through pursed lips. “I’m starting to think you’re remarkably well adjusted.”
Callie laughed. “Did you just crack a joke?”
“Maybe.” Choi gave her a half-smile. “But if you tell Doctor Grieves, I’ll deny it.”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Good.” Choi got up and pocketed her stethoscope. From her guarded expression, Callie could tell she was about to get to the real point of this visit. Why was it these shrinks never just came out and said what was on their minds?
She sighed. “Just spit it out, Sophie.”
“All right. You should know that your mother’s attorney served us this morning. They’re demanding that we discharge you immediately. She wants to transfer your care to a rehab facility in Palos Verdes, California.”
“Yeah, I know. Druggie Day Camp.” Callie picked at a chip of black nail polish. “She told me about it yesterday.”
“Well, you should also know we’re going to fight her. Moving you to another facility, especially one that doesn’t offer acute psychiatric care, would be incredibly risky. Even if she’s prepared to sign you out against medical advice, our legal department feels no court will side with her. Unless…”
“Unless I want to get out of here too,” Callie finished.
“Right.”
Callie met her gaze. “How long do you think I’ll need to stay here?”
“Honestly? I don’t know.”
“Are we talking days? Weeks?” When Choi didn’t answer her right away, she raised her voice in frustration. “Months?”
“How long did your last hospitalization last?”
Callie shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe a week.”
“And how did that work out for you?”
She flopped down on the bed. As much as she hated to admit it, Robo-shrink had a point. “But I want to get back to school, Sophie! It’s my senior year!”
“We want that for you too. When you’re ready. When you’re healthy.”
“Fine! But even if you’re right, it still sucks.”
Choi returned to the bedside and surprised her by touching her shoulder. “I’m glad you’ve decided to stay, Callie. You deserve to be safe and happy. We’re going to help you get there.”
Sunlight streamed into Callie’s eyes. She blinked up at Choi, who moved to adjust the window blinds.
“I won’t lie and tell you it’s going to be easy. This isn’t like strep throat. We can’t just prescribe a few days of antibiotics to cure you. You’ll need to work at it, every day for the rest of your life. But the good news is, it’ll get easier.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you won’t be alone.”
Choi looked out the window. “Beautiful morning out there. Sunny and already sixty degrees. Typical Boston weather, right? Snowing one day, daffodils popping up the next. If you’re up for it, maybe you’d like to explore the garden today.”
“You mean I can do that?” Callie asked, sitting up.
Choi shrugged. “Don’t see why not. Fresh air isn’t against the rules here. You’ll need an escort, but I’m sure Ethan won’t mind taking your afternoon session outside.”
***
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Nice interaction with the roommate.
I noticed you only have two more chapters posted and I could get caught up quickly, so here I am. I'll try to read the next one and then I'll feel like I've achieved something! I'm so far behind on my reviewing I need to get busy.
~Ann
Some years ago I went to a writers conference where the speaker said that Carrying Strength was what supported a story. CS, she said, was one of two things: plot,or characters. Character-driven stories tend to read much quicker.
That’s what you’ve got here. Callie is fleshing out into a wan, slightly morose woman in need of stability, and not find great it. The ironic thing is that Ethan is the same, without the bipolar motivator.
With your carrying strength established, the story is assured.
Good job!
Lawrence
Really encouraging to hear you say that, because in my mind, this is very much a character-driven story. I find the characters are very much shaping the plot, sometimes taking things in directions I didn't anticipate. It's especially important for me that Callie's and Jess's voices are drastically different, so please let me know if that doesn't come across.
If I'm not careful, I'm going to start empathizing with the Kardashians.
Poor Callie. It was brave of her to make the call - painful to read it. Emotional writing - emotional reading. I also like Sophie's evolution.
Not sure what Maya meant about the once a year thing.
I'm a metastatic breast cancer patient myself (hence the book writing) so I'll be interested to see how or if it's addressed.
Great chapter.
Lauren
The once a year thing was for college reunions. Thanks for picking up on that confusing part. I'll need to clarify. Sorry to hear about the metastatic breast cancer, but I hope you're doing well and in remission. Fortunately, treatment options have gotten so much better over the past few years.
Hope all is well, and that you are enjoying your time on this site (without letting it keep you from the most important thing, which is your own writing!)
Cheers,
Gray
Felt the full emotional impact of the conversation with the roommate: Maya. I was holding my breath during the pauses, and you've done a great job pulling the reader into how difficult this is for Callie, her fear of being rejected, her awareness of her own self-destructive behavior. Maya seems to be a reasonable person, looking forward to know more about her in upcoming chapters.
It's also good to see Sophie be more human, more empathetic. It took Elin for Callie and Sophie to finally connect! Almost like Callie has new-found respect for Sophie too, after the way she handled her mother.
Good to have a break from Ethan and Callie interacting too, for the world to expand, and for us to appreciate the other supporting characters in their lives.
Good job so far, very much hooked to this story.
Your reactions are so helpful, since you're getting exactly what I'd hope you would get out of this chapter. You're right too that I'm trying to break up the Callie-Ethan scenes so they aren't one chapter after another. Even so, there are quite a lot of those, so please let me know if it gets to be too much.
Thanks again for reading on! I know there are a lot of strong works in progress to choose from on this site, so I really appreciate the time.
Gray
Morning, Gray. Sad that Maya apparently wants no more to do with Callie. But maybe, probably, that's for the better. If Maya's not gonna stick it out a bit more...she was good for Callie, for a while, but now...
Yeah, Callie can start over
RS seems MUCH more human this chapter. And THAT is very uplifting! Admittedly, I'd gotten to just laughing at RS, but it's better that her better half has emerged.
Kind of funny that RS readily agreed that Extra Perky is a b....lol.
CHEERS!!
Mike
Yeah, I wanted to make Sophie Choi evolve into a more sympathetic character as the story evolved. Hope that happens naturally and doesn't feel too contrived. She'll never be buddy material for Callie, but at least I wanted to make her more human. Thanks so much for reading on!
Take care,
Gray
Ann Everett