Perfection is an interesting problem, and it much plagues Superman, though DC has been trying to write him flawed for the past 15 years.
It's hard to solve! For Laine, since this is technically book 7, there's not much I can do to keep her imperfect. I added that she's become a bit greedy from losing all her money. But that's now a flaw per se (given that they really took all her money). It's a reaction to stimulus, not a character flaw
Complicated.
Project L is a basic vampire werewolf story. Not much different from Twilight meets Underworld of any of the other million supernatural love stories before them. Reviewers here are clearly not reading Twilight so I'm getting reviews I can't use effectively.
Issues: . Laine is internally happy. She doesn't brood. She's not selfish or mean, and is coming from "low" to her magic and the millions in the bank locked away for all her life.
Makes sense to post a story I can get more mileage out of. Project R is more of Underworld meets Constantine. The MC is losing everything and will do anything to get it back. There is no formula of boy meets girl or even a hero win. No formula allows me more freedom to onboard suggestions. Better suited for this site.
Laura is shelved. Probably for 5-6 years.
Switching to an antagonist POV
Laura's story has been temporarily abandoned. Will return to it in 5-6 years.
Switching to an antagonist story soon
in formal releases, what book do you currently see emerging first?
scoff
Don't forget US rules differ slightly from Can/UK
good plan... gives the villains something to be aggressive about
It really made hell seem like a place you wouldn't want to go
I liked that movie ^^
Line 1?
Yep!
Inspectors C and R drove in R's A R to X di Y to see A and B.
That's a very dense sentence. Lots of data packed in a short space. It's not "bad" per se because it gets all the actors on stage, but it catches my eye
Off topic: Line 1 is heavy
Forgot that part like I forgot it states Connor lives
Could be made to work.
I'm a fan of getting to the point. If I'm sold on a demon book only to find out it's not a demon book, it can erode my reading experience. I haven't been on your back, because I gather the mystery genre is entirely about not getting to the point until the final chapter.
That said, it seems like such a structural change, should I ask what the goal is?
What was the book for your most recent essay?
Hah, I hadn't noticed the story was called "SAVING C o n n o r". oops. Well I stand by my statement... give him a really strong villain and he should be fine. Weak villain needs a stronger protag (I don't mean physical strength or power level)
The bus contention is my fault. As a reader, I invested into a bus trip only to find they got off like two paragraphs later which foiled my investment.
For me a simple "X & Y got off the bus..." is sufficient. Or even "X & Y walked into the Sistine Chapel" which implies they got there somehow.
And yes, Star Wars has been a large bucket of suckery for the past 20 years
There will also be Vatican Swiss Guards in the next act; in their case
Maybe they can enter the story here.
Given that I don't remember them and you plan to ditch them, are they needed?
...when someone places an arm across your back and rests their hand on your far shoulder?
Can't visualize much more than a hug
Maybe the opening move to a judo throw?
A move to force someone to turn in a direction the subject does not desire?
Still fear tho
Complicated. JC showed fear of death if it helps
Ya... you could totes swap chapters 82 and 0. Not joking-- Opening with "This is where we got" closing with "This is how we started". It's not done oftern
You should go there
My experience, having posted book 4 of 12 is that readers love longer series as long as each release carries weight. One of the biggest complaints about [G u i l d C o d e x] is NOT that there are 3 "added" books (and a spinoff series) but that book 5 of all that didn't have as much development. It means book 5 would be considered as great if it move things along farther/
Therefore, all the part 5... but keep swinging for the fences
