Thoughts?
Scene doesn't scream possession to me. If anything, this sounds like a logistical nightmare.
I remember an old ghost story. I think it was called "Le dernier soldat" though google brings up too many results to find it at the moment. They did their supernatural attack as footprints marching across the room. Approach would reduce the amount of choreography needed.
Caution: This will make vampires real. Perhaps even expected.
Temper this with my at-odds approach, but I would have the POV character shiver and perceive demons. I would make the fear transcend to the narrator and let Connor do his own thing
You & Ray make good observations.
I still question if Romano is needed at all, but I understand it'll be clarified near the end. Just understand I'm approaching the story from a different angle of "how do I settle into the heads of the movers and shakers"
Kdot fix: Delete the lines
Approach Sol. He may be willing to get them joined up for you as a one-time thing.
I've seen the latter used in mainstream books, but I dislike it. How can startle be used intransitively? Just seems odd.
As Memphis said aptly, I'll be able to help more on the prologue question after I've read the final chapters. This applies to all chapters between.
So, where's the rest of the story? Don't make me have to restart the cattleprod thread
fifty. So many great targets for the killing spree
Believe it or not, the summary doesn't help. It tells me what the book is about, but not /how/ it plans to arrive there. Doesn't specify the order of events in the final three chapters and the culmination of execution.
Therefore in this chapter, I don't know yet which version contributes better
I poked through it. I think I liked the pacing of the previous version better, but I won't know for sure until I read the final chapter so I can see that what the story is looking to accomplish
A simple introduction is really beating you up
Anyway, keep going... I need to see like the first 75% of the story before I can offer anything useful to a chapter 2
Sorry too much "fact" for me first two paragraphs. But take that thought into context that I don't read this genre and have nothing to compare to
Re-red it. I question the presentation of data around the dialogue in question, but I need to factor in the scenes before it and after. The questions in my head are where are the highs in the chapter and where are the lows. How much do I care about Vitale or is it satisfying that me might get eaten.
If it helps, I followed no such patterns in book 6, bringing in Marsha-1's POV for the first time in like chapter 8, and generally picking whichever POV best fit each scene (as opposed to alternating). Large chunks of the opening chapters had one POV. No one commented on it, so not sure it mattered
No real need for him to tremble unless you have a particular story-wise need
You have arrived at the right place
No never watched or read those
I wish I had a better understanding of the finer points of the genre 
figure-eight orbit, making one sun dominant at a time to reduce the difficulties
Yes, being able to turn one sun "off" at a time vastly reduces your headaches, and your story has sufficient "magic" / "science magic" to support it.
You still have a minor issue that two suns will want to orbit themselves (If they were stationary with respect to each other, they'd join up, and who needs that headache?). As a result the planet would have to travel faster on some parts of its orbit -- to stay ahead of the creeping sun. In effect your planet's orbit itself would have to be orbitting to stay out of the path of the sun. Now, the planet moving its entire orbit is possible if you introduce mass that will upset the balance. But of course, the question becomes how is that mass moving around to move the orbit where it needs to be.
Fun stuff!
Eh. A story set in Italy that Americanizes the culture for me might as well be set in Little Italy, New York. Audrey voice: "You can dooo eeeet"
In related news, Project L which is set in Earth Prime (eg our Earth) I'm really enjoying the writing process because it has terms like "midnight" and "o'clock". You wouldn't believe how awful it is to write around time references.
On the other hand, it's taught me (forced) to learn to downplay time.
A: When are you headed to the masquerade?
B: When the second hour tolls
So awkward! No way for B to answer this without using Earth terminology, so I make sure A doesn't ask with such precision
A: Are you going to the ball?
B: Tonight's? Of course
You've got what njc calls an impossible situation. You'll need to pull out "magic". And by magic I mean either actual magic or sci-fi-magic such as a self-propelled planet. Here's why...
First of all, understand that Earth's orbit is not just because we're spinning around a stellar body, but because the sun is so heavy, it can yank the entire planet around (and several others) like we're a bunch of pebbles
Our sun (and ours is rather tiny as far as suns go) will crush entire planets to dust if they get into the wrong place. And it would easily eat them all if they slowed down too much and "fell".
Your biggest challenge lies here:
Where the little sun is attempting to yank your planet out of the grasp of the bigger sun. Your planet cannot survive two suns acting in different directions. It will become an asteroid belt. Each sun will claim a portion of it.
(Actually, the smaller sun probably won't be able to beat the larger sun unless the planet is moving too quickly for the larger sun to hold it (in which case the smaller sun won't be able to hold it either, and your planet will go spinning into deep space. Wheee!))
There are more issues than that, but I picked the largest. Now I wish to turn the question around and ask what the goal is of this orbit. I ask this, so I can suggest something that may accomplish this goal rather than having to use magic
My take is...
a) if you like the prologue, keep it
b) If you're 50/50 on it, dump
c) If you don't like it, carry it to Diane's collider and toss it into someone else's dimension
but it motivates me to write, is largely what I want to express,
Well I'd say you got the most important parts down pat
