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(3e) toss a few shared memories when Athens and Oxford are netflix/chilling to explain why she's eager to get back

Here's the first thing that popped into my mind...

--- begin scene ---

Male half (D) of detective pair gets a call from his wife (W). She's drunk. She's at a party. Female half (C) overhears his side of the convo

(D) (On phone) Come on hun. You know how you get like this. Get a taxi. Right now, before you lost your sense of-- (listens) I know I-- (listens) wtf, have you heard nothing I've said? (stares at phone blankly as if hung up on)
(C): Discreet silence, pretends interest in paperwork)
(D) (Hangs up) Sighs heavily
(C) (Grabs coat) Come on. I'll drive
(D) We shouldn't. The case--
(C) --is five days old. It's not going anywhere. If your wife drives tonight, we both know what could happen

--scene break to car --
[Cue drizzle, because rain is kinda passé. Dim lights. Uncaring street. Occasional overhead light. Wiper noise at regular intervals]
(D) (watching wipers) Back and forth. Justice and crime. Think we'll ever win?
(C) I try not to ask myself such questions...
(blah blah we can slip in a discussion about the not-so-interesting case while the greater tension of the meeting with the drunk wife propels the reader -- think of Tia who carries her acceptance/rejection letter around for 3 chapters until the reader is about ready to burn the book/tablet unless she opens it)

--end scene outside ritzy club. Feel free to add suspicious bouncer type That (C) or (D) recognizes from among the house staff, but runs away when called out. After some hijinks they corner him and he dies randomly by getting run over (Taken, Movie) or flower pot to the head from 3rd floor--

Campagna sat back in her chair and rifled through crime scene reports. She had stopped counting after processing her twelfth box on day three. De Rosa sat at a facing desk, reviewing security footage. He would celebrate completed videos by crumpling a sheet of paper into a ball and attempting a free throw into the trash by the door. He had yet to make a single shot.

She mulled over the case in her head. The fact that the Church had allowed the other victims to be exhumed for autopsies suggested deep unease.

Just standard procedure, she had told the neighbors during interviews to keep the press in the dark. A few reporters were sniffing around nonetheless, asking leading questions.

The crime scene had yielded neither prints nor usable DNA. A murderer had entered Vitale’s apartment, perhaps murderers, given the strength required to pull the cardinal up and tie the rope.

Support workers, including maintenance staff, maids, doormen, and concierges all claimed to have seen nothing unusual. The lodgings of the victims had no staff in common to pin a motive to.

The only connection so far was three dead clerics in one week.

194 words, down from 438. But I like your idea of dialogue

Many repeat concepts, such as paragraph 2 "So far, neither she nor De Rosa had come up with any clues..." which need not exist because it it implied by the later paragraphs.

and "With the permission of the Church, ... The fact that the Church had allowed "

I took a whack at it and got it from 438 words to 200

you should remove everything after /ref= so that Amazon cannot track how users are arriving at your story (which may negatively impact your reviews)

I had to google "Bored of the Rings" and I must say the character names are hilarious.

"Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt," == oh dear

I built up a network on Google+ which I shall soon lose

Royalty's not so bad if the percentage is right

You've come so far... why not just finish it before you re-tool it?

The race is almost won. Matters not that it's not the race you set out to run or that you no longer care for that particular prize. Those two satisfying words "The End" are yours for the taking.

Hi Rayner

Your solution (that humans are cheaper to acquire) has merit but consider: horses are 1/20th the price of a car.

-K

I also have reservations about formulating a novel in a structure other than that of a novel. Won't stop me from massaging some words around the concept. Easily abandoned if it proves unworkable

Consider this StarCraft intro:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVbeoSPqRs4

Where is stasis here? I would hazard to suggest it is about three cinematics ago when Mengsk creates the Terran Empire. None of that matters here. It's just random violence and disjoint narration. Yet, the uninitiated viewer can spot the opposing sides. Make an educated guess who the protagonist might be.

Here, I question the traditional stasis-first concept. To what extent can a novel borrow from a video game? Can a novel launch with  a "Here's Bob and he's fighting for his life"? Can we infer the inciting incident from this mere statement? Certainly not - we merely know there was one and presume it will be related to us at some point.

Regarding Legend, I believe the stasis is not presented until the third episode. That's a rather long wait for such a complex world.