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Re my review:

What I've done here is shove C up front. He's kind of the topic of these two paragraphs. Originally he's kinda buried in the woodwork. Took out some of the location bits (is it relevant that the chapel is in the orphanage or adjoining it? Maybe even free-standing? Bigger / smaller? I suspect not relevant at this time). Dropped a "he heard" which will get the POV demons on your back, and played with words a little bit to remove an "eyes widened"

btw you know that post in premium by charles (those posts) are just punking us. The most recent two are mocking Norm's (Dirk) posts

Lost in the Aeons

(Reminds me of Lost in Space)

I liked that title. Reminded me of 20000 leagues under the sea

re Question 1:
Ya... 10 episodes at $0.50 then joined up into an $7.99 tome means reader would saved $2.99 to read it as it rolled out. I don't see any other non-spurious price point. One guy decided the complete story was worth the sum of the episodes times 1.5 and felt no issue with charging $14 for the season, but that's a lot of money for an electronic format which has cost the author -nothing- to rerelease.

Re Question 2:
How do we define an episode? I'm thinking as a self-contained story... with a resolution as complete as possible (given the word count). The overarching story arc is treated in each episode but left unresolved. Rather, each acts as a self contained story, introducing its own central plot that is resolved at the end. The series would consist of short stories that happen to share the same characters.

No reliance on dramatic tactics to coerce readers into buying the next -- just a "here's a glimpse into the greater story". Ideally should work if a reader breaks in mid-stream. Like a TV show, one must assume no knowledge of past events. Only core world rules can be assumed (eg airlocks vs transporters). I would cite Stargate as a model to follow. Mind you, I don't like Stargate, but their model is hard to fault. On par with B5, though Straczynski commits the misstep of losing the middle-road consumer

Cover has some nice colours

eBook, kindle specifically

Declan tho?? We need to talk

re the 2nd round of comments... There's no need (post Elizabethan period) to hide pain & suffering behind the curtain.

If your goal is to draw our attention to it, write it. Some actior will find you later and shake your hand for giving him the spotlight.

I did this hiding act in some of the early writes of VQ. I had [4 0 3] (my female ninja ballerina villain) at the end assigned to kill someone who she was told she was related to (but didn't believe it (and what villain politely requests DNA samples?)). I had the area around the mark coated in wet paint, then I showed footsteps in that paint at first showing haste (spread apart) then slowing, then turn away.

Implication: "someone" had rushed forward to make the kill, stopped, thought it over and changed her mind. Then a chapter later, I reveal the villain had paint on her shoes.

A few years later I was reading that complicated act and had a BFO. I was hiding the important part... that moment someone comes to deep, potentially life-changing terms. Why was I hiding it? To create a mystery. Okay, no problem. But it wasn't central to the plot. Many readers would have missed the connection.

This is what I see in the scene as you describe it. You've declared it's important your character sees the body and suffers a breakdown / moment of reverence. I see give the future director a scene with meat on its bones

PS: I'm still going to try to use the paint in VQ. Only as a way for a few smart characters to realize what happened. But I'll show the scene when I get there.

Edited to close that pesky double bracket

Interesting aspect introduced there.

Consider the "just" applies to a group of three.

Just (us)

Just (Father,paramedics,[me])

You could never get away with : Just (we)
It follows you cannot use : Just (Father,paramedics,I)

Yes.

In which chapter does the comet strike and destroy the world?

ok... in that case, you might be best to omit the scene so you don't post "chapter 9 scene 6" when it's really chapter 3 scene 6