In Project L I used the Ivory Pomegranate. Watch it show up in a major film and shunt me off too

Sorry to sneak in here and completely dodge the question, but I still question the the direction the camera is pointed. Choices:

a) a concentrating boy
b) a praying guy
c) a possessed woman strapped to a bed

Ah, but I understand his concentration is supposed to lead to the supernatural element that will soon enter the scene. Connor has perceived it first.

Can your POV character be given the ability to see the oncoming event rather than narrate someone else seeing it? I think that is the crux of the issue - he must make a conclusion about a reality he cannot perceive.

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(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

What are you considering, structure-wise?

Dirk B. wrote:

Eek! I've introduced 21 named characters in 12 scenes. Some have only bit parts and then disappear, but still...

Don't worry... once I reach the end, I'll be back with a list of which extras can get fed to the firing quad (aka villain team)

I murdered your seance

Dirk B. wrote:

Thoughts?

Scene doesn't scream possession to me. If anything, this sounds like a logistical nightmare.

I remember an old ghost story. I think it was called "Le dernier soldat" though google brings up too many results to find it at the moment. They did their supernatural attack as footprints marching across the room. Approach would reduce the amount of choreography needed.

Caution: This will make vampires real. Perhaps even expected.

Temper this with my at-odds approach, but I would have the POV character shiver and perceive demons. I would make the fear transcend to the narrator and let Connor do his own thing

You & Ray make good observations.

I still question if Romano is needed at all, but I understand it'll be clarified near the end. Just understand I'm approaching the story from a different angle of "how do I settle into the heads of the movers and shakers"

Kdot fix: Delete the lines

Approach Sol. He may be willing to get them joined up for you as a one-time thing.

I've seen the latter used in mainstream books, but I dislike it. How can startle be used intransitively? Just seems odd.

As Memphis said aptly, I'll be able to help more on the prologue question after I've read the final chapters. This applies to all chapters between.

So, where's the rest of the story? Don't make me have to restart the cattleprod thread

fifty. So many great targets for the killing spree

Believe it or not, the summary doesn't help. It tells me what the book is about, but not /how/ it plans to arrive there. Doesn't specify the order of events in the final three chapters and the culmination of execution.

Therefore in this chapter, I don't know yet which version contributes better

I poked through it. I think I liked the pacing of the previous version better, but I won't know for sure until I read the final chapter so I can see that what the story is looking to accomplish

A simple introduction is really beating you up

Anyway, keep going... I need to see like the first 75% of the story before I can offer anything useful to a chapter 2

Sorry too much "fact" for me first two paragraphs. But take that thought into context that I don't read this genre and have nothing to compare to

Re-red it. I question the presentation of data around the dialogue in question, but I need to factor in the scenes before it and after. The questions in my head are where are the highs in the chapter and where are the lows.  How much do I care about Vitale or is it satisfying that me might get eaten.

If it helps, I followed no such patterns in book 6, bringing in Marsha-1's POV for the first time in like chapter 8, and generally picking whichever POV best fit each scene (as opposed to alternating). Large chunks of the opening chapters had one POV. No one commented on it, so not sure it mattered

No real need for him to tremble unless you have a particular story-wise need

You have arrived at the right place

No never watched or read those

I wish I had a better understanding of the finer points of the genre hmm