Two
I woke up tired and shaken. Two days since Alice’s death and the hurt still burned in my heart and gnawed at my soul. I could think of nothing else as I showered, dressed, and then fixed a bowl of corn flakes. After three bites, I pushed the cereal aside.
My hands shook. Tears welled in my eyes. I banged my fist on the table and totally lost it. My hurt, anger and fears poured out into a big mess of ugly.
Alice’s killer wore baggy clothes, so there wasn’t much to go on as far as build except he wasn’t particularly tall. An angry ex-spouse is always a good starting point. Robert Milner topped both my lists—my suspect list and my shit list.
It was a short drive to the Law Offices of Milner and Laughlin. I parked Patsy and entered the building. The nameplate on the receptionist’s desk read ‘Miss Missy’, as it had the several times I'd been there before. How cute. I guessed her hair color as Miss Clairol Way Too Blonde 69. But it worked okay with her 1950s bouffant hairstyle.
“Good morning, Ms. Grace. How can I help you?”
I bypassed her with no acknowledgement and marched down the hallway toward Robert Milner’s private office. I’d gone but ten feet when I heard her footsteps echo off the tiled hallway behind me.
“Excuse me, ma’am.” Missy Missy’s treble-timbred voice trilled over my shoulder. “You can’t just go into Mr. Milner’s office unannounced. You need an appointment. He’s a very busy man.”
I stopped and pivoted on the two-inch heel of my purple pump. I swooshed several locks of hair from my breast to the back of my shoulder.
She came to an abrupt halt; her ample cleavage didn’t. That took a few extra seconds.
My gaze pierced her with laser beams capable of destroying high-quality kryptonite. “Look, Miss Missy, I’m in a really bad mood and I’m not ready for a bunch of crap. So, please, just go back to your desk like a good little receptionist and let me be. I have important business with Mr. Milner and I’m going into his office to address that matter. Don’t get in my way—you really don’t want to do that because it won’t be pretty if you do.” I narrowed my eyes and set my chin. “Do we understand each other?”
She stared at me glassy-eyed, her face blanched whiter than a sheet in a Clorox commercial. The Barbie Doll wannabe mumbled something unintelligible before doing a clumsy about-face. She scurried back to her desk as fast as the clacking of her four-inch heels could carry her fake boobs and Botox lips. Her bouffant bounced with every step.
I yanked open the door to Robert’s office and then slammed it behind me as hard as I could once inside the room. “We need to talk!”
He sat behind his desk, hands clasped over his belt buckle, head tilted back. I wasn’t sure but his eyes appeared to be closed. The outdated skinny tie hung loosely with the top button of his white dress shirt undone. His disheveled suit jacket rendered it impossible to see if his arm was bandaged—perhaps from a gun-inflicted wound. And yeah, he was really busy.
“What in the hell do you want? Someone murdered my ex two days ago and I have a monster headache, which just got worse thanks to your high and mighty entrance. And business sucks at the moment. I already have enough to worry about without you adding to it.”
I took a seat in one of his leather client chairs, crossed my legs, and stared at him for a good ten seconds. I’d chosen a gray Armani jacket with matching slacks and a plum-colored blouse. I nixed the matching skirt and opted for the slacks. I didn’t want his pervy eyes trying to look between my legs. I’d been down that road with him.
Six or seven feet of beige carpeting spanned the area between my chair and his desk. The floor covering was as drab as his almond-colored walls. “I’m sure you’re as depressed about Alice’s death as I am about the Tooth Fairy being a cheapskate. So tell me; why did you kill her?”
He tilted his head downward and gazed at me with cold, unblinking eyes. “I got nothing to say to you. Get the hell out of my office. Now!”
“I won’t be long.”
“You’ve already been here too long. Goodbye.”
“How about showing me your left arm?”
“The only thing I’m gonna show you is the door. Now, take your ass and your attitude out of my office.”
“Got something to hide?”
“Out! Now!”
Little-man bravado strikes again. Short, insecure men are so often the epitome of self-delusion. But I enjoyed how he constantly shifted in his chair and fidgeted his hands—all the things that told me he was uncomfortable. The greater his discomfort, the happier I was. And perhaps his nervous mannerisms were an unintended suggestion of guilt? I could hope.
“Do I have to call the cops to get you out of here?”
“Phone’s on your desk. If they haven’t already, I’m sure they’re anxious to talk to you. And if you think the cops are gonna be a pain, just wait until I come down on you with the big hammer. Wham!”
He flinched, much to my amusement.
“You’re one crazy-ass bitch.”
“You might want to make a mental note of that.” I rose from the chair and approached him. I leaned forward, my arms locked at the elbows and hands clamped like Vice-Grips on the front edge of the desk. I conjured my best Dirty Harry voice. “If you had anything to do with Alice’s death, you’d better pray the cops lock your ass away before I get to you. Otherwise, I’ll make you hurt like you can’t imagine. I’m talking pain worse than an acid-coated wire brush attached to a high-speed drill stuck up your skanky ass.”
“Are you threatening me, Olivia?”
“Call it what you want. But don’t sell me short, Milner. That would be a seriously bad decision.” I executed an abrupt turn and marched out of his office. I didn’t bother to close his door on the way out.
As I approached Miss Missy’s desk, I gave her my cheesiest smile. “I’ll make an appointment next time. My bad.”
As I guided Patsy from the parking lot to the street, I allowed myself the promise of a smile. I didn’t learn anything of substance from Alice’s ex, but that wasn’t my primary objective, although it would have been nice. More than anything, I wanted to put him on notice and make him uncomfortable. The more pressure I could put on him, the more likely he was to screw up if he was, indeed, Alice’s killer. Pressure is a process, not a singular event. Besides, I really enjoyed seeing his sorry ass squirm.
As much as I deplored and suspected Robert Milner, it would be foolish to think there could be no other suspects. I was off to find more potential bad guys.
But first, I needed to check in with Butler Farms. I’d spoken with them only once since I took on their case several days ago. I pulled to the curb on Truxtun Avenue and keyed them on my cell phone.
Anna Flores, my contact at the Butler Farms Security Office, answered on the third ring. “Hi, Olivia. I was gonna call you in a few minutes. I’ve got some new information on our guy in question.”
“Tell me.”
“Andy Bishop. We hired him three months ago to fill a vacancy as a data analyst in our production department. Today is the fourth consecutive day he hasn’t shown up for work and we’ve not heard a word from him.”
“He may have a good explanation for his disappearance.”
“That’s possible. Likewise, we can’t simply ignore his absence and arbitrarily assume there’s no connection.”
“Fair enough. Anything else?”
“He doesn’t have a land line and the cell number he gave us is out of service."
"How nice."
But we think we know where to find him. If you can drop by my office around two o’clock, I’ll have a copy of everything for you.”
“That’ll work. Just one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Where do you think he’s camping out?”
“Las Vegas.”
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A Good Chance For Bad Luck - Main Character List
I will add to the list as the story progresses. Don’t want to
give away too much too early!
Olivia Michelle Grace ------- Rookie PI and millionaire
Alice Milner: -------------- Olivia’s best friend and murder victim
Patsy -------------------- Olivia's fire engine red 1959 Cadillac convertible
Robert Milner: ------------ Alice’s ex and primary suspect in her death
Andy Bishop: -------------- Sabotage suspect at Butler Farms
Ron Matthews: ------------ Olivia’s friend and possible love interest
Linda Sears: -------------- Olivia’s friend and housekeeper
Max Grace: --------------- Olivia’s brother and Kern County Deputy Sheriff
© Copyright 2025 Sideman. All rights reserved.
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Olivia's dang scary - and still quite believable! These days, as we know, women are MUCH more aggressive, rushing into contact sports, pumping serious iron, not taking BS from ANYONE...scheesh! Who'd thunk this, visualized it thirty, forty yrs ago!? A female pro boxer from the Netherlands had her punching power evaluated. It was FAR better than a highly-reg. male pro boxer of the same approx. size!! Technique and leverage factor in strongly, but that may give the ladies another boost: often, they prove to be more coordinated than us guys!
Anyway, Alan, I like Olivia a LOT. She's tough, but obviously quite human. She's got a temper, but she knows where to draw the line with it. She's an all-out go-getter! She's got self-respect, but is not stuck-up.
Still digging it, Alan!!
Enjoy your Sunday and the Fourth!!
Peace always,
Mike
Thank you, Mike. Yeah, she's got a llot of attitude. But,as you said, she usually knows when to reign it in. And that's right ... she takes shit from no one!
I appreciate the read and review. Thanks a bunch. Glad you're enjoying it. Have a great Sunday.
Alan
Sounds like my sister's husband. Badass I figured she would have to go to Las Vegas. Awesome writing.
I don't think you should get rid of the chapter titles. They're hilarious and add color to the story. Have you ever read the Percy Jackson series? Those chapter titles add zest to the story because they're funny. One of them is "A god buys us cheeseburgers". I mean, they're great. They also emphasize the humor even though a lot of bad shit is going on.
Anyways. Here's the deal. I don't like crime stories. I'm a fantasy gal, through and through, and I keep expecting Olivia to fall through a portal into another universe. HOWEVER. This is keeping me mighty entertained and I want more. I already mentioned I like Olivia, but I also love the way you're writing this. It's so funny. "She came to an abrupt halt; her ample cleavage didn’t." That made me laugh out loud, which rarely happens. This is a crime story that can reach a broader audience. You didn't spend 7 pages describing the outline of the city. You didn't waste my time talking about laws and government. And there aren't any cheese one-liners. It's great!
I love that Olivia has a gambling problem. Usually a male issue, a lot more interesting in a female. Same as her being a PI. This is some good shit.
One last thing. This here: “Excuse me, ma’am,” Missy Missy’s squeaky voice..." Did you mean Miss Missy? Minor thing I noticed :)
Onward for more!
Alice
Aw ... thank you so much! I really appreciate all that, And yes, I meant Miss Missy where you annotated my error. Thanks!
I also have a series of humor books out, so the humor comes rather naturally. I wrote for a stand-up comedian in California many years ago.
I am thrilled you enjoy this, not being a true crime/mystery fan. That's a terrific compliment. Regarding my brevity in many places (glad you like that!) - I think it works better if the reader is allowed to create some of the settings/environment for him/herself. In my opinion, that accomplishes three things: 1. It allows the reader to personalize the story rather than being fed a story. 2. Too much background slows the progress of the story and also gives the reader too many things to consider that aren't vital to the story. I believe in the KISS treatment. 3. Allowing the reader to create some of the surroundings and scenes in his/her mind tends to make the reader somewhat a witness to the story rather than the reader being told a story.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Again, many thanks for the wonderful comments.
Alan
I poured a little of the milk off my cereal in my coffee. Now all I need is a spot of vodka. Wala the breakfast of champions
Alan--
I like the way Olivia talked to Robert! I would think twice about messing with her, too! She's not letting up on finding who killed her friend, but something tells me, it's not Alice's ex.
I love the way you describe things from Olivia's point of view, the way she sees Miss Missy actually brought Miss Missy alive to me. Also the way you described Robert's office and his appearance made him less of a character in a book and more of a real man.
Poor Olivia gets bad news from her other case, the guy who probably sabotaged the farm has disappeared. That's never a good sign. But I don't think she'll find him alive.
As usual your chapter was filled with unforgettable characters who'd be an interesting addition to any party.
LOVED IT! dags:)
Hi Dags,
It was so nice to see your name on a review. And thank you so much for those great comments. I've worked very hard on this novel. I'm glad the effort is evident.
I enjoy writing in first person. I think it's harder than 3rd person as you have to portray the action, interest and complete story line from just the one point of view. I find it a pleasurable challenge.
And thank you, specifically, for your comments regarding character and setting description. I appreciate that very much! Hugs,
Alan
I have to begin by telling you that I am a huge fan of mysteries, and love the hard-boiled detective stuff like Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler--although Walter Mosely is my favorite mystery writer.
That said, the book has the feel of a Chandler or Hammett, but--and it's a big but--the narrator is female. And middle-class females simply don't talk like hard-boiled detectives. I liked Chapter 2 better because there was less dialogue, but still, women don't pay attention to the same things that men do. And women speaking to each other don't curse and use ain't and say boobs on a regular basis. I would strongly suggest that you ask a woman to work with you on editing--and eavesdrop on women in the situations you present.
Also, the tax liability on a $2 million win would be over 50%.
mikejackson1127