One
I hung a right off Ming Avenue and found a parking spot near the entrance to Bernie’s B-Town Bistro. I twisted the rearview mirror and took a quick look. Carmine red lipstick—check. Bronze eye shadow—check. Auburn hair—wind-blown but perfect.
I’d named my 1959 Cadillac convertible after Patsy Cline. I loved that big old land slug as I did my own family. She was long and wide and slicker than greased whale shit. The chances of her passing a gas station were about the same as me passing up a chocolate éclair. She shined pretty dang snazzy with her fire-engine-red coat and snow-white top.
My bff, Alice Milner, had selected the bistro for our weekly lunch date. We’d never been there before, but recent reviews on Google and Yelp gave it an average rating of 4.7 out of 5.
I stepped through the door and scanned the dining area for Alice. For an eatery in a strip mall in Bakersfield, California, it was nice—upscale casual was my take. The orange and black theme worked for me.
Several people sipped beer or mixed drinks at a small bar on the far side of the room. Almost every table was occupied. The diners’ chatter hummed much like a controlled electrical buzz with an occasional splash of static.
I spotted Alice as I navigated a faux ficus. She sat with her back to the entrance, full attention on her cell phone. When I tapped her on the shoulder, she bobbed from her chair like an over-wound jack-in-the-box.
She took a few seconds to settle herself and catch her breath. “One of these days I’m gonna get your ass for scaring me like that all the time.” She checked the readout on her phone before dropping it into her purse. “At least you’re on time.”
“That’s me. On-time Olivia.”
The waiter arrived and took our order. That gave us a few minutes for some chitchat. Some folks had commented, at one time or another, that she was full of chat and I was full of chit. We’d grown up together just a block apart on the east side of town. We were still in diapers the first time we met. It hardly seems that was almost twenty-nine years ago.
“So, how’s everything going?” I asked.
“Not too bad. At least I haven’t heard from Robert in a couple of months. He’s probably thinking of new ways to irritate me. I figured I’d be free of his harassment after I divorced his conniving little ass. Wrong!”
“I guess big-time lawyers just don’t take losing very good.”
“You got that right. It’s been almost a year and he ain’t quit bitchin’ about it yet. But I do take considerable satisfaction in knowing he’s that bent out of shape and can’t do much about it.”
“Seriously, what else can you expect from a certified shithead?”
“Yeah, really.” Alice paused for a second or two. “But, on a better note, my boss promoted me to project manager yesterday. That’s another five hundred bucks a month I can stash into savings. Of course, five hundred bucks ain’t even a drop in the bucket for a rich bitch like you.”
I laughed. Alice had called me Rich Bitch since I won over two million dollars on a progressive slot machine in Las Vegas a little over a year ago, a couple of months before her divorce. I took home close to a million-and-a-half after taxes—not a bad night’s work. I didn’t mind the moniker. I thought it was rather funny.
“That’s my recent history.” Alice planted her elbow on the table, arm extended upward, and fingers clenched into a tight fist—a good perch for her chin. “What about you? Everything okay?”
“I just picked up a new case with Butler Farms a couple days ago. They think they’re being sabotaged from inside.”
“Butler Farms, huh? Cool! They’re one of the biggest produce growers and processors in the area, ya know. Quarter-billion-a-year operation from what I hear. Congrats.”
“Thanks. It’s the biggest case I’ve taken on since I got in the business last year. I’m pretty stoked.”
“Tell me something, Olivia. After winning all that money, why in the hell are you still working? And as a private detective, of all things. If it were me, I’d be kicking back and enjoying the easy life like you ain’t never seen.”
“Just because I have a few bucks in the bank doesn’t mean I want to sit around and wither away. But I didn’t want an office job in a cubicle and some overpaid jerk breathing down my neck and checking for cleavage all the time. I had enough of that when I worked at that investment firm. Private detective seemed like the perfect job. I just have to keep my short fuse in check—you know, not overreact. Besides, a million bucks won’t last forever.”
“Yeah, that short fuse of yours has got your butt in trouble more than a few times. Big-time trouble once or twice. But, getting back to Vegas, maybe I should go there sometime.” Alice raised her eyebrows. “I could use an extra million or so.”
“I never want to see that damned place again—and I do mean never.”
Alice was the only person in the world aware of my addiction to gambling—cards, dice, slots—you name it and I was a sucker for it. If I went back to Vegas, I figured it would take me about half a day to gamble away the remainder of what I had from my winnings—almost a million bucks. I’d rather walk naked through Valley Plaza Mall with a news crew taking video than go back there.
Alice glanced over my shoulder. “Here comes our food.”
I hoisted my run-a-way bra strap back onto my shoulder. They’re so damned annoying—and not just the straps.
Lunch was fabulous—Tri-tip steak, steamed broccoli, and a baked sweet potato. We’d both ordered the lunch special.
Alice reached for her glass of sweet tea. “Wish we’d known about this place a long time ago.”
She’d barely ushered the words from her mouth when I heard a disturbance at the entrance. A person with a black hood covering his head brutally stiff-armed a waitress. Food and drink crashed to the floor, along with the waitress.
The hood, similar to a pillowcase, covered the intruder’s entire head and neck with cutouts for the eyes. His dark clothing hung loose, as though a couple of sizes too large. He fired off three rounds in quick succession. “Take that, bitch!” a voice shouted from under the mask after the final shot.
It definitely sounded like a man’s voice, but odd in some way. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it just didn’t sound natural.
Eyes dilated, stone-faced, Alice plopped facedown onto her plate. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I cringed, nearly threw up, when I saw the back of her head—split open and blood gurgling from the wound. My stomach clenched cold as adrenalin poured into my gut.
“Oh my God!” I whispered. Screams filled the room as everyone scrambled for cover. Some cowered behind overturned tables; others scrunched behind chairs and fake plants. I was too numb to move a muscle.
Stepping over the petrified waitress he’d shoved to the floor, I watched the shooter charge out the door. Everyone remained huddled in place—some crying, some shaking, others silently praying. Some doing all three.
The shooter gone, customers’ screams diminished to sporadic whimpering and whispered prayers.
I managed to stand, my legs barely able to support me, and looked around the room. “Oh my God! Is there a doctor or a nurse …? Oh my God! Someone call 9-1-1! Please! Can anyone help?”
A middle-aged man crawled from behind an overturned table and rushed to my side. “I’m a doctor. I’ll take a look.”
My emotions had declared war on each other—stay with Alice or go after the shooter. Realizing there was nothing I could do to help Alice, I shifted gears and grabbed the Remington 1911-R1 from my purse and bolted for the door. Revenge mode took control. Detective mode be damned. This was personal.
Six lanes of heavy traffic on Ming Avenue went casually about its business, oblivious to the tragedy that had just happened. I looked left. No shooter. When I shifted my gaze to the right, he was untangling from several people twenty yards away. Two women lay on the concrete walkway, one moaning in pain from her fall. Breaking through the crowd, the shooter steadied himself and fled down the sidewalk, shoving more people aside. There were too many bystanders to fire my weapon.
Gucci sneakers on my feet, I chased after him as shoppers fled the area in a panic. The gunman wasn’t particularly tall but moved with graceful strides. With a big lead and fast pace, I knew I’d never catch him. Maybe he’d trip. Not likely, though. That only happens in books and movies. But, I felt I had no choice but to push on.
I arrived at the corner of the building not long after he’d disappeared around it. With a trace of trepidation, I hugged the side of the building as I peered around the cornery. No perp, no getaway car, no suspicious sounds—nothing.
Thwak!
A bullet struck the wall too close for comfort. Several small pieces of tan stucco stung my cheek. My heart pounded so hard I could almost hear it. I caught my breath and moved back a step. I couldn’t determine exactly where the shot came from, just somewhere from my right.
I risked another peek. No shots this time. I scanned the area but, again, saw no sign of him. I continued to survey the parking lot and adjacent areas. I detected movement in my peripheral vision.
I pivoted ninety degrees and noticed the shooter running toward the back of the next building in the segmented strip mall. He crouched as low as he could without slowing himself. I released the safety on my Remington. No shoppers in sight, I fired off a round but missed. My hand still trembled from Alice’s shooting.
He changed direction and took cover behind a large oleander bush in one of the medians on the side parking lot.
I wasn’t able to get a visual on him so I fired blindly into the shrub. I heard a yelp and then watched him dash behind the next building, clutching his left arm just above the elbow.
Keeping the bush between him and myself, I followed after him. Sirens howled in the distance. I reached the rear corner of the next building and took a quick glance behind it. No perp, but a splotchy trail of blood—just enough to confirm he’d climbed over the wooden fence bordering the back of the mall complex.
I reengaged the safety on my handgun, then grabbed the top of the fence. As I topped the wooden barrier, my pant leg caught the tip of one of the wooden planks and I tumbled to the ground on the other side. I’d fallen onto a grassy area bordering the rear parking lot of a large apartment complex. I looked in all directions but saw no sign of the shooter.
The shrinking trail of blood disappeared a few feet onto the asphalt. I ran to the street fronting the complex and carefully scanned the area. No gunman.
Damn! He could have gone in any direction.
I scrambled back over the fence and hurried to the bistro. That horrifying expression on her face before she fell forward, and the blood flowing from the back of her head, told me I shouldn’t expect good news.
The cops arrived in the parking lot soon after I reentered the bistro—half a dozen units, red and blue lights flashing almost strobe-like. The only officer I recognized was Gary Bateman. We graduated high school together. He confirmed who I was to the other men in blue.
I approached our table as the doctor stood beside Alice. She wasn’t moving and blood had pooled on the tablecloth. I used the back of my wrist to wipe the tears from my cheek. “Is she …?”
The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry, ma’am. She didn’t make it.”
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Olivia Michelle Grace ------- Rookie PI and millionaire
Alice Milner: -------------- Olivia’s best friend and murder victim
Patsy -------------------- Olivia's fire engine red 1959 Cadillac convertible
Robert Milner: ------------ Alice’s ex and primary suspect in her death
Andy Bishop: -------------- Sabotage suspect at Butler Farms
Ron Matthews: ------------ Olivia’s friend and possible love interest
Linda Sears: -------------- Olivia’s friend and housekeeper
Max Grace: --------------- Olivia’s brother and Kern County Deputy Sheriff
© Copyright 2025 Sideman. All rights reserved.
Regular reviews are a general comments about the work read. Provide comments on plot, character development, description, etc.
In-line reviews allow you to provide in-context comments to what you have read. You can comment on grammar, word usage, plot, characters, etc.
Alan, oh my gosh! This chapter is so action-packed that I read through it without stopping. Not a glitch anywhere! What a tale you are unwinding here! It's so good to have you back onboard. I have really missed this quality of writing!
I love this! I am so excited to have you posting again. Olivia out chasing the bad guy took my breath away! What a brave soul she is, and I can't wait to get more information on this millionaire turned P.I. girl with auburn swooped-back hair!
As always, thanks for being in my world again, my dear friend! Welcome home!
Hugs to you,
MJ
Awwwwwww ... you are much too kind, Marilyn. But I'll learn to live with it! No glitches ... none? Holy jumping catfish - that's a first!
Olivia is a go getter. I've tried to pack a lot of action into this novel. I've written 8 chapters so far I've tried to keep the blood flowing and the chase going! I'll let this chapter get a little face time and then add Chapter Two.
Thanks, my friend! Good to be back among some of the old crowd. Hugs,
Alan
Yes, there are typos and grammatical errors but that doesn't detract from what is an enjoyable opening chapter that sets what is to come. After reading this a couple of times my anticipation for what will follow is high. I am an author of a series of novels about an English private detective working on the remote part of the Suffolk coast, so this type of story is right up my street.
Hello Andrew,
Thank you so much for your time to read and review the opening chapter of my book. I appreciate that very much. I will stop by and take a look at your chapters just as soon as I can. My wife is significantly disabled and I do guitar work for other folks and a recording studio. I have very little time for reading and reviewing but will make it a point to read you real soon. I have to pick and choose what I read because of the time constraints. Again, thank you. And I'll go back and look for the typos and grammar errors. Thanks for the input. Wishing you the best,
Alan
It went fast, and I wanted Olivia to get that SOB! Ah, but I expect she will soon enough. I was sorry to see Alice catch it...a good friend of Olivia's "shouldn't" be getting taken out, but then sometimes such things certainly do happen - in real life and books. Good to know that Olivia at least winged the bastard!
Looking forward to the next installment, Alan!!
CHEERS!!
Mike
Thanks Mike! Glad you like it. There's a lot of action throughout the book. Olivia is more of a "doer" than a "thinker". Gets her trouble sometimes! Glad ya liked it.
And I'll be getting back to you tonight about my preferences to answer the question you asked me earlier. Good to hear from you!
Alan
The story moved along quickly with a really nice balance of character banter, backstory and setting details.
Olivia's best friend in the entire world was just shot less than 3-feet from her and she is off like a ninja to catch the ass hat that did this. I'm loving her and can't wait for the next installment.
C
Ho Corra,
So nice to hear from you! I'm delighted you like my girl and the story. And yeah, she has a bit of attitude and doesn't take a lot of crap from anyone. But, as the story progresses, you'll find she also has her vulnerabilities. Every "hero" has to have a weakness or a vulnerability. The question is, how will it affect her ability to do what she has to do.
Thanks again fir the kind words . So nice hearing from you.
Alan
Hi Alan,
Just spotted your note, and I really like the edits. The chapter was hard to improve on, but you've made the shooting scene even more visceral and shocking. Nicely done! Gray
I loved the way you described what was going on. At first I thought the shooter shot the waitress then I reread it and it was alive. Great detail.
Uhh I finally make it to your book and a character named Alice gets killed. What kind of warm welcome is this??
Ok here are my (minor) comments:
In the text, you say Olivia has a 1962 Cadillac convertible named Patsy. But in the legend in blue below, it says Patsy is a 1959 Cadillac convertible. I barely know what a Cadillac looks like so not much of an issue to ME but thought I'd point out the discrepancy :)
Something else: after the shooter hits the waitress, the next paragraph starts with "A black hood, similar to a pillowcase..." and you describe the shooter. In the paragraph after, you say "Eyes dilated and stone-faced, she plopped facedown..." I didn't even realize that was Alice until Olivia started crying. I thought we were still on the waitress! So I think that sentence should say "Alice" instead of "she" plopped down.
That bastard.
Okay, back to plot. Olivia kicks ass. I already like her. Not only is she a FEMALE PI but she went after that asshole like satan on a vendetta. GO HER. I loved that. From the beginning, she caught me with her quirky humor to her friendship with Alice (RIP) and right into her fearless go-getter attitude. I'm cheerleading so hard right now.
On to the next chapter!
Alice
HI Alice,
Yeah, what a warm welcome! Good catch about the the waitress and Alice confusion. Will get to that. I forgot to go to the legend below and change the model year. Thanks for pointing that out!
[URL=http://s1245.photobucket.com/user/JonCole56/media/1-1%20CADILLAC%20and%20LaSALLE/CADILLAC1962Ht05.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/gg592/JonCole56/1-1%20CADILLAC%20and%20LaSALLE/CADILLAC1962Ht05.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
You have excellent details for the reader to give life to your story. Chapter 1 makes us ask- then what. What else can you ask of the opening. I now care about her success and upcoming tactical choice. I would add a little more about the passing of her friend. A memory, maybe a piece of jewelry that she gave her. Just one more tidbit no matter how small.
Hi Cherrie,
Thank you for the very kind review - I appreciate it very much. I think that's a terrific idea about making mention of a memory item. Thanks for that suggestion - I'll definitely go back and use it!
Many thanks. And wishing you well.
Alan
Sideman--
Quick, concise, and full of action. I really liked the way you introduced the characters, gave brief backstories before killing one of them. The chase was excellent, it moved swiftly, as a chase would. The fact that Olivia didn't kill him but wounded him (or her) would make it easier for the police to find him. Since Alice seemed to be the only one dead, and the shooter left as soon as he shot her, AND he/she didn't kill anyone on the way down the sidewalk, makes this look like Alice was the only one he/she wanted.
I really enjoyed reading this! Good to see you back and posting!
dags :)
Thank you very much, Dags! I'm glad you enjoyed the read. And I appreciate the very kind comments. It's one of my favorite books to write. Wishing you well. Also, will be over to read more of Sausalito - probably tonight. Looking forward to it.
Alan
Alan,
I enjoyed reading your first chapter. It has a comedic aspect to it which, I gather from your tags, is intentional. So I found the chipper, jaunty commentary personally very amusing and readable. It is an odd combination but one which I think works and makes me want to read more.
This now looks pretty polished as a chapter, so no substantive nits. I look forward to reading more though
Best wishes.
Ted
Hi Ted,
Nice to "meet" you! Thank you for the time to read and comment so nicely. I truly appreciate that. I have a series of humorous detective books on Amazon - that's the genesis of humor. I've written humor for many years and add just a touch of it in almost everything I write.
I apologize for the tardy reply. My wife is significantly handicapped and in very poor health, so she gets priority on my time. I will be over this weekend to check out anything yu might have posted. See ya then!
Alan
From the beginning, you had my attention, would love to read more. I'm a new writer so I'm not seasoned enough to give you full detail. Your story flows well. Your voice is strong and the plot is engaging. I detected no misspelled words or plot inconsistencies. I look forward to reading the rest of your story.
Marilyn Johnson