Left you a review.
2,202 2018-03-29 03:18:37
Re: No Reviews (7 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
There's nothing wrong with asking for reviews. I suggest editing your post above to include an enticing book summary to draw in your potential audience. The current book summary for your novel is too short. Think of it as what you'll put on the back cover of your novel. You need to convince people to open it and start reading.
I'll try to find the time to do a review some time this week.
2,203 2018-03-29 00:05:07
Re: How to Breathe Underwater (trilogy: Lessons in Skills for Life) (197 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I tried reading Dune three or four times but got bored each time. After watching the original movie with the awesome soundtrack, I read the book in one weekend and eventually read all the rest, including some of those (ick!) written by his son. Dune and God Emperor of Dune rock!
2,204 2018-03-27 12:24:13
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I haven't defined Dr. Francis as a character yet, so his motivations for interfering with the past are TBD. It will probably have something to do with the overthrow of the galactic government (probably Apollo's descendants) by the descendents of Joseph's fanatics.
2,205 2018-03-27 00:37:18
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
When we first meet the Nero and Elizabeth, one of Apollo's thoughts was that he prefers to follow his mother's style of ruling, which is fair but strong. However, she can be dangerous when provoked (esp. if Apollo is in danger), which is why the samurai ends up in prison. She also humiliated Caligula for days in a packed Throne Room because he convinced Nero to withhold anesthesia from Apollo after his whipping in the Colosseum.
Part of the reason Apollo is so weak is that the paranoid Nero feared him too much to prepare him for rule. Apollo banishing his mother later in the story is just an excuse to allow her to go to New Bethlehem and secretly negotiate for peace with the Realm. The concept of a fake fallout between mother and son is right for the story, but I still don't like the way it turned out in v3.
At first, Apollo continues following her style of leadership, which is why he tries not to act violently in response to what's going on around him. However, like you said, he orders a hit on Nero and tells his aides he may execute Mama (because he knows too much about the hit). The hit was something Apollo felt forced into after Nero's first attack on New Bethlehem. Apollo also orders the failed commando raids to arrest Admiral Lupus and Governor Hadisius.
After the 2nd (final) battle at New Bethlehem, he decides to force all of the senior officers (those promoted by Admiral Lupus) out of the Praetorian Fleet and scrap the Praetorian flagship altogether. He's also going to do a purge of senior officers of Earth's home fleet, which was commanded by Governor Hadisius. Hadisius fled the battle, but Apollo expects to capture him eventually and execute him. He also banishes Caligula from the Imperium forever, providing him with nothing more than an explorer ship that will allow him to flee to distant outposts in the galaxy, where Realm bounty hunters are sure to pursue him.
So, you see, there is a progression from weakness to strength forced on him by circumstances. Assuming I ever finish the story and write book two, it was always intended to be much darker. Joseph will be haunted by his guilt for unintentionally triggering the destruction of New Bethlehem, and Apollo will pursue galactic colonization and the Imperium's conversion to Christianity aggressively.
If there's a book three, it was originally intended to be an upbeat ending where Joseph and Apollo together discover the dying alien race that has interfered with the human race in a game of galactic chess (hence the reason there are two versions of God), responsible for the rise to power of Alexander the Great, Stalin, Hitler, etc. The last scene was intended to be the two dying aliens saying to each other they have time for one more round before their deaths.
Since I'm going to use Dr. Francis in the year 7329 to interfere with the human race in 4017, there's no need for the aliens. I may write the second, dark book (set in 4021) and then jump forward to 7329 where the descendants of Joseph's fanatic followers attempt to overthrow the galactic government. The story set in 7329 is the one I tried to write first, but eventually came around to Joseph & Apollo first.
2,206 2018-03-25 04:02:25
Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (1,905 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
If Alda is secretly the individual mentioned above, how come she doesn't think any of this. Does she not remember it?
2,207 2018-03-25 00:35:21
Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (1,905 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
AMis the twin and mother of Ghent children. Three of the kids were forcibly turned into the three hells as they reached adulthood.
To save the youngest, Alda kept Behira as an infant for as long as possible, and later an eternal child. It is why Alda can bring back the dead, but Behira can only heal.
In a similar way, Behira turned a Founder into the guild house, but with the person’s consent
Really cool!
2,208 2018-03-24 03:46:18
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I've been studying Middle East holy sites on Google Maps and, for a while, I wondered why I couldn't find New Bethlehem. Wrong star system. :-)
2,209 2018-03-24 00:06:55
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Fantastic website: http://www.baptismsite.com. All about the location where Christians believe (rightly, IMO) that Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist. Jordan made it into a national park and the UN declared it a world heritage site, so Connor can visit it. He'll be coming from Israel, so I still need to research the logistics. Too bad the Jordan River no longer runs by there (the river shrunk and its route changed over 2000 years).
2,210 2018-03-23 23:49:13
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I stuck most of my retirement into low risk bonds. Figured the honeymoon period in the stock market is going to end soon
Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
2,211 2018-03-23 21:38:31
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Thank you, njc. The reason I say buy and hold is that I don't like trading in and out of stocks. Like most, I'm not good at it. A better term might be set it and forget it. That's why most of my money is in index funds. I also got bitten there, too. Moved some money into Vanguard's S&P 500 index fund two weeks ago as part of rebalancing my portfolio in preparation for rising interest rates. It got clobbered, too, along with most of the market.
Currency fluctuations are going to be my biggest headache over the next 15+ years. When I moved to the US twenty years ago, the Canadian dollar was worth only $0.60 US. At that rate, I could have retired back in Canada very quickly. Unfortunately, the CDN dollar eventually became worth even more than the US dollar. It fell back to $0.70 US just as I was moving back. It's gone up 10% in one year, so my US disability is worth that much less than it was in 2016.
Although house prices are out of reach for me in Calgary (and they're obscene in Vancouver and Toronto), I may buy a mobile home here eventually. TBD.
2,212 2018-03-23 15:17:22
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
That's why I use low-cost mutual funds, mostly indexed. But Canada's securities laws may not allow such things.
The typical mutual fund in Canada has a 2% management fee. In my US IRA, I pay as little as 0.04% for an index fund.
2,213 2018-03-23 10:32:11
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I use Vanguard high dividend index funds for most of the money, but wanted specific stocks as well to buy and hold long term.
2,214 2018-03-23 05:40:29
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
It's my IRA. Canada got hammered as well, but not as much.
2,215 2018-03-23 05:09:05
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
My retirement account is getting killed by the looming trade war. I bought Boeing the day before Trump announced the first tariffs. Down 12% since then. I console myself with the fact that no one ever went broke buying their stock. Of course that used to be true of GE, too.
2,216 2018-03-22 19:12:04
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I watched another episode of Gilligan's Island last night. They were packing, thinking they were sure to be rescued. The Skipper was packing his clothes, including numerous shirts of different colors. I think I even saw a pajama top. What's wrong with that scene?
2,217 2018-03-20 02:16:06
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Note to self: Seabrass says to be sure to give the archangels flaws and the possibility of failure.
2,218 2018-03-20 02:04:28
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I noticed that all of Andrew's reviews are 50-60 words. I can tell he read at least some of each chapter, but I'm not sure if he's in it for points (which I'm fine with) or whether I should try to reciprocate when I have so little time to respond to drive-by reviews. None of his reviews so far (about eight) will lead to any changes in a future draft. Has anyone else been reviewed by him?
2,219 2018-03-20 01:14:04
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
You did indeed. Thank you. I just received a mountain of regular reviews from Andrew Hixson for the beginning of v3. He loved the two opening chapters, including the one spread over three different time periods that introduces Joseph and Apollo at two ages each, and introduces God and Admiral St. James's ghost. He didn't like the Great Collapse of Civilization at all. Thought it was filler. It's probably because it comes too early in the story (K's complaint), but the Galaxinet articles have to occur in a certain order among the early chapters, and I'm keeping all three until my reviewers beat me to death. Dr. Ess rocks! Nor did he like Apollo's opening chapter in the gym fighting Kobayashi. Not sure what was wrong with that one.
2,220 2018-03-19 19:23:19
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Thanks, Amy. Yes, it's a note to myself. The details will be rolled out in chapter one, with the introduction of Joseph & Apollo at various ages.
Archangel Syndrome is a relatively common disease among the ruling class across the galaxy, and it happens to involve hearing archangels instead of God, hence its unique name. Since the advanced biotechnology and instantaneous interstellar communication needed to fake something like this doesn't exist yet in the 4017, no one questions it as anything but a real, bizarre illness. In reality, it's accomplished using tech from AD 7329.
As you saw in v3, there are plenty of places where Joseph and Apollo either act out inappropriately (e.g., Apollo's head jolting) or mumble conversations out loud. God won't appear in the story, except perhaps at one or two extreme moments in each book (TBD).
Seraphim are a higher class of angels than archangels, but they're limited to constantly worshiping God on his throne. Archangels appear on earth to intervene in human events, hence the reason I chose them.
I don't know what to do about revealing the secret cause of this illness, since it's currently meant to remain hidden until the end of book two or three. One possibility is to reveal it at end of book one, then have Joseph and Apollo cooperate with Dr. Francis in future books. Ponder I will.
2,221 2018-03-18 04:03:40
Re: A different critique (34 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Do cheetahs roar?
2,222 2018-03-18 03:50:08
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
My next chapter, The Christian Heresy Revealed, is up. It's a cleaned up version of the same chapter from v2. I incorporated everyone's edits and trimmed quite a bit. This chapter will be heavily rewritten in a future draft to conform Joseph's musings more closely with Anglicanism, which most closely reflects his old life (crown prince of a world with a monarchy that leads the Church).
Quick, go read!
Dirk
2,223 2018-03-17 23:40:00
Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (1,905 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
If you have a moment, can you please check out my Archangel Syndrome post on the last page of my Galaxy Tales thread. I'd be interested to know what you think of my way to put some distance between the story and God.
Thanks
Dirk
2,224 2018-03-17 13:01:58
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Every illness has a name. This one, in particular, is limited to hearing archangels. It helps explain why Joseph and Apollo are both hearing archangels, which is a huge coincidence that needs to be explained. Also, the fact that there is no cure for this particular mental illness (since its real cause is Dr. Francis) means that I don't have to justify so much why neither kid is pursuing a cure.
2,225 2018-03-17 03:00:54
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
K, did you mean that I should just name the voices Archangel? Giving them distinct names eliminates the problem of who is conversing with Apollo/Joseph in chapters where they appear together. I've had reviewers tell me that it confuses them because they expected God to be talking to both in those chapters, which is understandable but breaks POV.