Sol, are there any rules as to how new the material has to be? I've been working on my book part-time for six years but have never entered it. The current (third) draft is over a year old. Much to my dismay, it will need a fourth draft as well.
Thanks
Dirk
I would eventually like to get to where I only post in this group.
If we all take that approach, there will be fewer experienced eyes reviewing the material of new authors (i.e., the stuff in Premium), and they will have less material from experienced authors (i.e., the stuff hidden here) to learn from. Could cause a slow death for the site.
My 16 is even punier thank you think. It was 8, not 16, in the mock battle. I plan to rewrite it in a zone containing space junk (e.g., the kind of stuff that Star Wars destroyers dump before going to light speed). I can put in one big derelict vessel (the same one they board for the "Storming a Battleship" chapter), and a bunch of smaller ones. The AI will take care not to let them hit anything, but I can use the junk to divvy up the scene.
My final battle was better, I think. The Ark of the Covenant vs. the Actium. Paul led his fighters (group 1) against the Actium to provide cover for the raiders (group 2). Paul's fighters were attacked by two enemy fighters (group 3). Much easier to picture, even though there were at least as many ships. The biggest problem with that battle is that there were two Imperial flagships: the Praetorian flagship, the Actium, and Governor Decianus's flagship (its original name escapes me)). Apollo renames the latter in honor of Decianus mid-battle, making it Apollo's new flagship. I gave the ship name every time I switched scenes (e.g., Aboard the Ark of the Covenant, Aboard the Actium, Aboard the Decianus, etc.). I can tweak that: Aboard Lupus's Flagship - the Actium and Aboard Apollo's Flagship - the Decianus).
Does that mean having to pay double points if we post here and in Premium?
Be sure to give njc lots of dangling modifiers.
I second Lynne's comments. I'm glad the new treatment is helping. You are, of course, missed by all.
You created a character for me who survives 30 chapters? You're getting soft. I'm looking forward to my demise.
You're killing me.
I am such a flake. Can't get used to Requiem for Heaven and Earth. The Lord of the Earth already exists on Amazon, but for a very different book. My title refers to the duel between Satan and Christ, who will fight for dominion over Earth. Also, in the Gospels, Jesus refers to Satan as the 'ruler of this world'. I may add Unholy back into the title as some point, although I like this simple title better. Reminds me of Tolkien.
Stephen, as Kdot mentioned to another new member recently, the number of reviews may drop off after two or three chapters as people decide if they want to keep reading. A big part of that is the whether you read their work in return. Not everyone is a good match. I had about eight reviewers for v2 of my old book. I've allowed that to drop down to two for v3 since I'm only doing minor edits to wrap it up. It needs a big rewrite, so there will be a v4 someday, at which point I'll strive to get more reviewers again.
Thanks, Lynne. I did a trial of that a few weeks ago but didn't like it as much as grammarly. I'm still running Office 2007 (in 2018, eek), so the integration may not be as good as with newer versions of Office. I'll try them again when I get closer to a final draft. Meanwhile, I have to set aside some time to work through a good grammar and punctuation book.
This forum is getting very lively. I can't afford a professional editor either, so I'll be relying on reviewer critiques, grammar/writing software, and a course on English grammar, which I missed in high school. To those reading this post, I highly recommend giving Stephen's first chapter a read. It's an entertaining thriller and a smooth read.
Here's the kind of thing we learned in Literature 21 instead of grammar:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47bKTtIwrO4
Cool item. Islam has an Antichrist and foretells of the return of Jesus and the Mahdi (cue Dune music) during the Day of Judgement. The Mahdi will rid the world of evil. This will be great for book two, where the Unholy Trinity attacks all Abrahamic religions. Naturally, Judaism also has a Messiah at the end of days.
But, it won't require much knowledge of Christianity or Catholicism since I will be explaining those elements as they occur. Nevertheless, it's pretty much "in your face", unlike the Exorcist, where it was mostly a background element (although the book was more religious than the movie).
Too much? :-)
Well, there's the Pope, his Council of Cardinal Advisors, the Catholic orphanage, "perpetual adoration" in the orphanage chapel, a Mass at St. Peter's Basilica, rosary beads and prayer, a priest as one of the main POV characters, a lengthy trip through the Holy Land retracing the footsteps of Jesus, an exorcism chapter, several healings, dead cardinals and bishops, events from Revelation, the Vatican, visions of ancient events from the Bible, Satan, the Antichrist, the False Prophet, and Jesus Christ himself.
Pretty much a Catholic series, which was my intention from the outset. There is already a series of novels called Left Behind that tells the story of Revelation from a Protestant Dispensationalist POV (a literal interpretation). So many Christians think that's the Catholic POV, too, since there are no comparable Catholic novels.
The books are Connor's journey.
I checked on my cell phone, and the problem exists there too. I'm running Google Chrome there as well.
Let's not forget the Ewoks. Apparently, even The Empire Strikes Back had its haters when it first came out. How can anyone not like a huge dose of Darth Vader and Yoda? Lucas originally worried people would say he put Kermit the Frog in Star Wars. I can't believe he had the guts to make him green.
Somewhere along the way, I discovered (and then forgot) that requiem also means funeral Mass (not just music), primarily in the Catholic Church. Seems like a good fit since the old heaven and old earth will pass away in the End Times (Revelation). It's also completely unused on Amazon. It requires a little Catholic knowledge to get someone to click past the title, but so be it. Its one down side is that the reference to Heaven may turn away people who might otherwise stop to click/read the summary for a supernatural thriller. I had the same problem with the word God in the title of my space opera story. That was the original reason I settled on Unholy Lords of the Earth, but that title has its own issues. You put Unholy and Lord together in a title, and Christians will fume and skip right past it. They're my primary target audience (2.2 billion Christians and 1.2 billion Catholics). I have 4-6 years to change my mind another fifty times.
Time for OCD medication.
Christine, you convinced me. Back to Kindle...
Thanks, Christine. I think Requiem for Heaven and Earth is a highbrow title, and it remains a potential choice. I settled on Unholy Lords and decided not to touch it again until I have something written. The story won't change because of the title, but the title may change depending on how I feel about the story once it's written. My favorites (e.g., The Unholy Trinity) are all taken on Amazon, usually more than once.
Welcome to my thread. :-)
Google Chrome. Latest version. I cleared the browsing history and cookies, and restarted the browser. The problem still exists. Was there any work done on x-line view?
If anyone else is seeing this, please comment here.
I'll email you a screenshot.
Welcome, Christine. You're in the right place. However, I suggest you edit your above post to change the subject line to something like: [story name] - Christine Dreier. Many of us in this group have such brainstorming threads for help with story issues, additional feedback, writing craft, etc. It's a great way to improve your story/writing, in my opinion, beyond just what the reviews provide. It's also where you can collect everyone's ideas in one place, making it easier to find stuff later. We also shoot the breeze in them. Try to snag Seabrass, Kdot, and njc as reviewers, if they have the time. Amy S is also excellent, although I'm not sure if she has much time at the moment. There are others, too, all very helpful. Check out our threads and subscribe to the ones you want to be notified about. I'm not currently very active on the site as I'm doing research for a new series about the Antichrist, but I'm posting to a thread called The Unholy Lords of the Earth. Would love your input, time permitting.
Dirk
Sol, check out the latest review I did for Stephen Carter's book, Germ Line: Revolution. It's not displaying the comments correctly (the comment boxes are huge).
Malcom, where's your portfolio? Tick tock. :-)
I watched a long YouTube video yesterday about Jesus, and I made notes on paper as it played. Halfway through I got bored, so I paused it. That's when I saw another tab in my browser with the same video, paused at almost the exact same spot. I checked my notes file and, sure enough, I had made virtually the exact same notes.
Another video was about the finding of a tomb that some argue contained Jesus and his family. There are bone boxes inside for a man named Jesus (son of Joseph), James and Joses (brothers of Jesus according to the Bible), one or two Marys (there's some confusion about the inscriptions), and a son of Jesus. The argument was that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they had a son, which would have been the norm for men of Jesus's age (most or all of the apostles were married). It turns out, though, that Jesus and Joseph were two of the most common names in that period, making up almost ten percent of Jewish males. Probability analysis suggested that it was still very possible to find all those names in a tomb without them being Christ's family.
