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Welcome, Heidi. There's a Welcome thread in the Premium forum, which serves the same purpose as this thread. I suggest posting your message to that forum/thread as well. It will get you maximum exposure. This group was only recently resurrected, so it's still a little quiet, although we're happy to have you.

Feel free to join as many groups as you think might be of interest to you. That way, when there's activity in those groups' forums, you'll see it down the righthand side of your Home page. You don't need to read or respond to the forum posts (unless the spirit moves you), but at least you'll see the topics being posted. Admittedly, the site's forums are rather quiet.

Also, be sure to check out a thread in the Writing Tips & Site Help forum on tips for maximizing the number reviews you can get. It may help.

If you have any questions related to writing or the site, feel free to drop your questions in the Writing Tips & Site Help forum. Someone is sure to respond, usually in under a few hours. For more timely responses, feel free to post your questions to the Premium forum. They don't bite. Usually. :-)

Again, welcome.
Dirk

Try messaging SolN directly.

Great news, Jack. Congratulations.

Dirk

I know someone who grew up in Texas and Tennessee. He uses y'all all the time.

Had a really cool idea to have the Antichrist maintain a library of 220 years of writing, including a series of journals, all of which are discovered in the demon safe house in chapter six. I may include excerpts from the journals at the beginning of each chapter, revealing details of the conspiracy.

Definitely needs a scene break if you want to stick with third-person limited, which involves one POV character per scene. The other way you can do it is to tell everything from Mr. Handsome's POV. For example, right after the biker takes off, a police car appears behind Handsome and orders him to pull over (using his car's loudspeaker). As the officer walks toward the Bobcat, Handsome hears the cop talking to dispatch over his shoulder-mounted radio. You should be able to do the exact same scene, but now you stay with Handsome's perspective.

By the way, if you're in Handsome's POV, he would think of himself by name (e.g., the way Campagna and Romano do in my story). Of course, if you want to make Handsome super conceited, he could think of himself as God's gift to women, which is why he doesn't think of himself by name. Perhaps he sees a couple of women on the street, then looks in the mirror thinking they're attracted to his good looks, then the biker pulls up, and Handsome decides to show off to the women by racing the biker.

At a minimum, change the locks. And maybe get an alarm system, if you can afford one.

Even if he doesn't reconnect with the Holy Spirit, people attain internal satisfaction from doing charitable works. As noted above, it's his internal substitute for the Holy Spirit, although, obviously, he hopes to reconnect with the Holy Spirit as well.

Him wanting to reconnect with the Holy Spirit doesn't strike me as a useful goal. He has no idea why he can't hear the Holy Spirit, nor how to change that.

Romano cares about others (Connor, Beneventi) and is driven to help them. That seems like both an internal goal and an external one. I could see representing those goals as alternatives for the joy he once experienced with his connection to the Holy Spirit. He seeks external satisfaction as a substitute for the internal satisfaction he once had.

I always use third person narrators.

Clearly the Force is with you. Congratulations.