It occurred to me that I should perhaps refer to Connor simply as the Hand of Christ or, possibly, the Hand of God rather than the Staff of Christ. My current description of the Staff of Christ is that the prophesied kid is an extension of God's hand much the way a staff is an extension of the shepherd's hand. I could change that to make Connor the Hand of God, rather than an extension of it. I think it's more impactful to refer to him that way.
Thoughts?
Dirk
666 in my story is used by God to punish the traitors who invaded holy ground (the Vatican), as opposed to the AC's marking of other humans.
Since Connor is pretending to be Christ until mid book two and then bails on Satan by overcoming his genetic enslavement right after that, he'll never actually implement the mark. However, he will pretend to plan it in the latter half of book two to keep Satan from finding out that Connor is no longer under "parental control." :-)
The traitors were willing followers of the AC, so it seems reasonable that at least they should receive the mark. They then have to worry about someone discovering that they're marked as evil by God.
It's really not that different than if the Allies had tattooed prisoner numbers into the skin of German war criminals after WW2. It would have been a fitting added punishment for those eventually released back into society, especially those who served at Auschwitz and other death camps.
Yeah, they appear only in the opening pair of chapters, which actually makes them easier to change. I don't have to worry about breaking something ten chapters further into the story.
Compare that to Connor, where I'm eliminating the idea that he is Christ returned as a boy in favour of him supposedly being the Staff of Christ, which is a kid prophesied by Saint Augustine who will be in "harmonious communion" with Christ to carry out Christ's will on Earth as if Christ himself were here in person. In theory, Christ would do this to lead as many people as possible to the safety of the Church at the last minute, followed immediately thereafter by the final judgment.
In reality, the Augustine prophesy was written by Satan in the early fifth century, setting up the arrival of Connor in the distant future.
This change has the potential to break a lot of stuff. Should be fun. :-)
What did you think of my previous post about replacing the alterphasic cannons with something less Star Warsian?
Quick vote: I never really liked the Electi for the elite Imperial guards since it's too evocative of the Elected, rather than the Chosen. I went back and forth with Gemini and "we" came up with the following list. :-) Any preferences?
- The Fideles - the Faithful
- The Ultima - the Ultimate Ones; the meaning in real Latin is farthest, last, or final
- The Terminati - the Terminators (we're talking serious guards here, lol); the meaning in real Latin is ended/completed
- The Domini - the Lord's Own (not necessarily a reference to God, so it works with Imperator); also evocative of the Dominant Ones
I'm leaning toward the Terminati (I'm a sick puppy) and the Domini. Domini I think is best if I wanted the ideal serious name. But since this is a demented story, the Terminati would work well too.
Thoughts?
Dirk
That's if I was writing a novel that tells the Revelation story. My story is based on (derived from?) Revelation but does not attempt to retell the exact same story (it's been done many times). For one thing, which interpretation of Revelation would I follow if I were to retell it? There are probably hundreds of interpretations (I own twelve of them myself, lol, from my original research). The predominant Catholic interpretation is that Revelation is a story about spiritual "warfare" and Christ's ultimate victory over evil. I do know that they generally do not believe in a real, final battle at Armageddon, which is why my final battle of book 3 will be different (Connor's forces vs Satan's forces), though still at Armageddon. Also, I was told, no "actual" war in Heaven when I once asked when in the biblical timeline it occurred. Similarly, I doubt Catholics believe in a real mark of the Beast for everyone on Earth except the martyrs. For one thing, it's simply not practical on a planet with almost 10B people. One interpretation suggested the mark was smartphones (held up to the head) and smartwatches (on the hand/wrist), as if everyone on Earth had those devices. Depending on which interpretation of Revelation you go with, things also don't happen in the order they appear in the book.
So, depending on your beliefs, things can happen out of order or don't happen at all.
Since my story is based on Revelation, I use many important elements of the Book of Revelation, but I adjust them (somewhat) to serve my plot (my interpretation, lol), without going off the deep end, except for the fact that the Antichrist ultimately ends up as the hero of the story, but that's not evident until the end of the trilogy. I end my trilogy roughly the same way as the Bible (the righteous go to Heaven, everyone else goes into the Lake of Fire, which teleports them to other worlds, from which they can never return, so they're in the lake forever). See how I did that, while still following Revelation? :-)
As for 666, since Connor overcomes his genetic enslavement to Satan halfway through book 2, there will be no opportunity for him to implement the mark of the Beast. Nor would he, since he's "Christ" not the Antichrist. So, God uses it while taking back the Vatican to mark the traitors with 666 on their foreheads. Those are the true followers of the beast, so it makes sense that at least they would be marked. You should see what God does with the corporeals (demons) at the Vatican. :-)
On a related note, I can't recall, did you read my Groundhog Day short story? It's a (revised) entry for the do-over contest about Satan's fate more or less how it will happen in the trilogy.
I like a combined cross + staff, especially for Connor, but he won't start wearing it until the day he appears on the balcony at St. Peter's after conquering the Vatican. Maybe an upright staff with a crossbar on it. I also have a use for 666. At the end of book 2, the protagonists try to retake the Vatican with God's help, which includes Him branding all the traitorous Church leaders there with 666 on their foreheads. :-)
Congratulations, Randy.
I still hate the alterphasic cannons in the opening pair of chapters. It's nothing more than a miniature Death Star weapon. In other words, a type of laser weapon. Yawn. I had a chat with Gemini about how to improve the tech, and it suggested making it into a weapon that can fire tiny black holes. Instead of the new cannons punching huge holes all the way through the ships with massive energy blasts, I could have mini black holes rip through the ships by tearing apart (via intense gravity) anything within a short distance from the black holes such as the ships' hulls. I'm sure something like it has been done, but I can jazz it up with energy siphoned from the alternate universe. I was hoping to declare this novella done very soon, but the alterphasic cannons are so lame, I hate the idea of leaving them in the story. It would probably take only a few days to figure out the new tech and write it up.
I have a tricky problem with the distances between ships in my space battles. Unless they get close enough to the terrorizer to be caught in the blast, the risk is substantially less. And yet 1400 meters is nothing, as K noted in his review of part 1. They should have improved their tech long ago to allow supernovas to fire from greater distances. Not sure how best to make that plot hole go away. Ignore it?
250K words? Yikes! I think that's even longer than Galaxy Tales was before I decided to split it into novellas. Although, in novella form, I like the freedom it gave me to flesh out the story some more in certain places.
Welcome to the site, hullabaloo. I'm so sorry for the losses you've experienced. I can't imagine how hard that must be.
I'm one of the other writers here and do my best to help new members get up to speed quickly. Please check out an article I pinned near the top of the Premium forum for tips on how to maximize the number of reviews you can get. It'll help you avoid some of the mistakes other new members sometimes make.
I'm going to send you a connection request. If you accept, we can use private messages to communicate.
Fastest way to get answers to any questions you might have would be to simply post them in the Premium forum (that's one of its main uses). You'll get the most eyeballs on it that way. But if you prefer to ask me privately, feel free, although my turnaround time may be overnight given where you're located.
By the way, Morag, one of our other members, is from Scotland. Great lady. She's writing two books at present (mysteries), as am I (a supernatural thriller and a space opera). Depending on what you like to read, I can point you toward the right members. Until you know who's who, who's active, etc., I suggest reviewing mainly material scrolling down your home page, as well as anything that's just scrolled off your home page (there's a button under each section that lets you go back further). The stuff on your home page is guaranteed to be from active users.
As you've probably seen by now, and unlike Booksie, this site uses "points" for posting. You earn points by doing reviews (at least 5 inline comments in an inline review or 50+ words in a regular review). While collecting and using points may seem annoying at first, it's actually very easy to collect enough points. The points system encourages people to Review each other's work, and it tends to scare off trial users who just want to post their stuff without reviewing the work of others. For points, review (roughly) 3 chapters or stories to be able to post each of yours; those are averages, and it's a little different for poems. The longer a posted work is, the more points you get when reviewing it; the longer your work is, the more points you need to post it; try to avoid posting overly long pieces (all this is covered in my Premium post mentioned above, including how to deal with long chapters or short stories).
That's all I can think of right now. Please look for my connection request on your home page in a few minutes.
Welcome aboard!
Dirk
Tentative new wording for the 4th version of Connor :-)
The Holy Spirit revealed the youth is to gather together as many humans from every corner of the Earth as will heed his call to change their sinful ways before the Day of the Lord, so they may be spared from an eternity in the Lake of Fire.
Just as a shepherd’s staff is an extension of its bearer’s hand, the youth is an extension of the Lord’s hand, with frequent active communion between them. Through their unique bond, Christ will share important guidance and memories with the boy, and through him, express God’s will, pour forth his mercy, and gather the lost.
The youth will serve, in essence, as the living Staff of Christ, wielded directly by the Lord to bring forth a final opportunity for repentance by all."
You could even interpret that verse as referring to the Staff. He's got the power to fight evil, and he's there (ostensibly) to help bring more people to God.
Okay. I held off making the change since I know "The Rise of Connor" is a sexier title. I can always refer to the Staff of Christ in the blurb.
I'm seriously considering changing the name of the first book from "The Rise of Connor" to "The Staff of Christ". Seems like a better fit now that Connor is playing that role instead of a reincarnated Christ.
EDIT: Good grief. That exact book title already exists from a 2024 publication, although it's a self-help book, not a novel. Also my three books for this series will all be "subtitles" of the series called "Satan's Last Stand", so my book name isn't a standalone title.
I'm going back and forth. I've cleaned up & posted all but the last two chapters of the first novella in Archangel (right after Joseph and Apollo both decide they have to do what the angels are telling them to save the galaxy. Most (all?) of my current reviewers of Archangel are well behind me chapter-wise in terms of what I'm posting, so I jumped back to Connor for a bit.
I have a few weeks to rework who/what Connor pretends to be (the Staff of Christ), which is what I'm doing now. Most of chapters 1 & 2, which were the two info dump letters I wrote up front to help me figure out a lot of previously undefined details about book one, can now be removed. The two letters will be reduced to a fairly short one from St. Augustine to the pope, and he'll mention in his letter that the long scroll he's sending along to Rome is the details of his holy vision about the future, especially the end times. I'll eventually quote snippets from that scroll throughout the first book as epigraphs about the end times relevant to the chapter the reader is about to read.
I'm currently writing the shortened single letter and an accompanying scene set in 430 AD, shortly after Augustine's death, in Rome, where a bunch of senior bishops (no cardinals back then) discuss what to do with the letter & scroll (both secretly written by Satan). One of the bishops is a corporeal of Satan (long before he got trapped in his Detective De Rosa body).
I would never have been able to write the scene in 430 without an AI. I tried researching that information once, but I would've ended up with a lot of errors or a mountain of research, which wouldn't be worth it for one scene. Hopefully Gemini knows what it's talking about. :-)
I'm not sure if this is particularly important, but I thought I'd mention it. When I just submitted an inline review for Vern's Great Do-Over story, it shows the submitted time as 5:13 PM. Yet, I actually submitted the review around 11:30 AM local time (Mountain).
I assumed the time would vary due to time zones, but I'm not familiar with any islands in the Atlantic that are 5 hours and 45 minutes ahead of Mountain time. Is the server floating on the Great Pacific Garbage Patch island, perhaps? :-)
Holy iterations, Batman. Nailed it! Connor is neither Christ, nor a 2nd incarnation of the Son, nor the ultimate manifestation of the Holy Spirit.
Connor is the "Staff of Christ", where Christ is the shepherd, who uses his staff in one last, urgent attempt to bring as many sheep (humans) into the shelter (God's house) as possible before the coming storm (the End Times).
As the Staff of Christ, it makes perfect sense that he would embody Christlike qualities and even have access to Christ's memories. He is not just like Christ; he is a direct, active extension of Christ's being and will, infused with Christ's character and knowledge. This reinforces Connor's "divine" origin and purpose. And this approach allows Connor to travel the Holy Land, having more or less the same experiences as in the first draft, with the same twist at the end.
No existing Scripture (about the Staff of Christ, in this case) to worry about, which is what kept blowing my earlier representations of Connor (as Christ, the Son, the Holy Spirit, etc.), out of the water. He'll still act the same, appearing increasingly as if he were Christ returned as a boy, all to keep the reader and the characters wondering if he is.
Now to figure out what remaining role Augustine's letter should play (mainly to steer the reader/characters into thinking Connor may be Christ). The beauty of that letter is it doesn't have to be correct since the reader will learn who wrote it not long after Connor reveals himself to be the staff and gains private access to the pope.
Amen!
More refinement needed. Since there are a rather overwhelming number of verses that speak to their being only one incarnation of the Son of God, where "Son of the God" refers to the spiritual being that proceeds from the Father, I can't make Connor a second incarnation. Even the Holy Spirit incarnating as Connor is problematic (the weight of Catholic thought is that Christ is the only incarnation of God). So, Connor is not an incarnation of God but rather the ultimate "manifestation" of the Holy Spirit, for the end times. He's still human, but the Spirit within him is so powerful it's unlike anyone who has ever lived, not including Christ of course. His role is akin to John the Baptist on supernatural steroids (one final, almighty push by God to prepare the human race for the Second Coming and save as many souls as possible). Naturally, he is not really that manifestation either; he's still just a demon-spawn with an ancient soul, pretending to be Godlike in a way that doesn't contradict Christian beliefs and the Bible.
The fly in the ointment here is that I would really like be able to keep open the question of whether Connor is Christ. He would give signs of being Christ returned as a boy but deny it until some point after everyone is convinced he really is Christ. So, Augustine's letter keeps getting shorter and shorter. Augustine will say his vision showed him a child with Godlike powers coming from Heaven for the end times (exact wording needs to imply he may be Christ returned as a boy). Augustine can then comment that there are no verses anywhere in the Bible that rule out Christ returning as a boy, not even Acts 1:11. He can then state he doesn't know how this is possible, but that the Holy Spirit assured him the Lord would explain it upon his return.
But why would Christ return as a boy? What advantage could there be? Story-wise, it would allow me to let Connor pretend to be Christ throughout the Holy Land tour, which would keep everyone off kilter. But if he's supposed to be a manifestation of the Holy Spirit, what advantage would there be for the AC to pretend otherwise in the Holy Land? Why not just show signs of being the HS? Other than the entertainment I'm trying to provide with the books, of course.
You're misunderstanding me. Connor, were he really a second incarnation of the Lord, would be in union with God the same way Jesus is in union with God. Naturally, he's going to fake it.
Also, he doesn't need demon helpers. He's intimately familiar with the Bible. Has to be to pull off his scam.
One added quirk to all this is that I have to explain about the discrepancies that will eventually arise between the Bible and the story world.
EDIT: I have thee ways to do this:
1. Augustine (or rather the author of the scroll, Satan) acknowledges in his letter to the pope that things will differ, potentially invalidating parts of the Bible, which should be impossible, but Augustine says he doesn't know why it will happen, but it will. And the Holy Spirit told him it would all be explained by the Lord once he returns.
2. Take advantage of the fact that no verse in the Bible claims the Lord will return as an adult, so he could return as a child, grow to be an adult, and then (supposedly) the Day of the Lord can proceed.
3. Technically, there should be no discrepancies between the Bible and the story world if the Lord returns as both Christ and Connor.
In all cases, it'll be important that I don't write anything that rules out Connor being a second incarnation, even as I lead the reader/characters down a path that looks like Christ is returning as a child.
Also, Connor (aka the second incarnation) would be better suited to bring other religions (non-Christians) than would Christ, especially because he is a major figure in Islam, though not the Son of God.
I was about to write that I'm waffling about whether Connor should be Christ or a second incarnation. I was leaning back toward Christ because I think it's a more compelling story element, but I just realized that Connor could do all the things he did previously in the first draft, making everyone conclude that he is definitely Christ when, in fact, he'll later claim he's a second incarnation, coming to save more souls before the return of Christ. Now, if he really were the 2nd incarnation of the Lord, Connor would have access to some of Jesus's memories via the hypostatic unions. He would experience things in the Holy Land caused by incomplete memories popping into his mind from Jesus.
Did anyone watch the opening of the G7? I was so embarrassed to know that big orange buffoon represented our country. All he could talk about was his BFF Putin, but Carney shut him down. I knew he'd leave before it was over because the attention was on Carney and not trump. He can't stand being around anyone smarter than him, so he had to get back home so he could be Boss Hogg in the comfort of his oval office, surrounding himself with the resident idiots.
Love it!
