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I'm thinking about how best to introduce Connor to the reader. He did battle against the locusts in the prologue, but his real introduction comes in chapter 4, after the chapter in 430 AD. I've written several versions of this chapter already, although only the last two are relevant. In all cases, Connor is the POV character.

- In the short version, Connor is bullied by an older kid, Alessandro, and in order to fast-track yet another bullying session, he provokes the kid with insults. Alessandro belts him hard enough to knock him down. Connor seems barely able to get back up, but when he finally does, he quotes Christ about turning the other cheek, so Alessandro belts him there too. Connor plays dead, and Alessandro and his friends take off. Once they're gone, Connor sits up, and the reader realizes that he was faking death, which he's very good at. Just as he's sitting on the floor, a cranky priest find him and gives him hell for sitting on the floor and getting his clothes dirty. After giving Connor a silly lecture, the priest leaves. Connor shakes his head, walks away, glances at the ceiling, and says kill me now, Lord. In this version, Connor is completely non-violent, although the reader learns that there is more going on with Connor than you read in that chapter. A few chapters later, Connor will heal Alessandro's epilepsy with prayer despite the bullying and the two painful punches Connor endured earlier that evening. The two chapters combined will make a great intro to Connor and the role he pretends to play, but chapter 4, the first of the two, ends with that line about kill me now, which is funny but leans on the bullying to make the chapter at least somewhat interesting.
- The long version of this chapter treats a similar encounter as a flashback, but this second encounter is very different. Connor takes a similar hit to the face, but this time, he doesn't go down. When Alessandro tries to hit him again, he literally stops the bully's fist by grabbing it with a cupped hand and holding it fast. Connor eventually has to drive Alessandro to his knees and then flat on the floor. The second encounter takes place in front of many other kids. Connor insists Alessandro promise never to bully anyone again, otherwise he'll have Connor to deal with. Just then, two priests walk by. When they see that Connor has defeated Alessandro, they comment how team sports builds bonds of friendship. They're kidding of course but refuse to intervene, and just keep walking as if nothing is wrong (Alessandro's a known troublemaker). This version of the chapter shows Connor is incredibly strong but not vindictive or evil. In fact he ends up as a hero for the other boys.
- Given where this story is going, with Connor pretending to be the Emissary in "harmonious communion" with Christ, the pacifist Connor would choose option 1. If you don't mind a little violence committed by Connor, as he solves the bullying problem, he would choose option 2. The reader will see more of his mysterious strength in this version, and he's definitely not a pacifist in this case, and the chapter ending is much stronger.

The question: is it better to go with pacifist Connor to start, with a bland chapter ending, and then have Connor cure his bully in the next chapter involving the two boys (a few chapters further ahead)? Or go with the more powerful and heroic Connor from the get go?

Thanks
Dirk

Thank you, Pamela.

It's nice to see you on the site. Do you plan to resume posting?

Dirk

Welcome to the site, iscomb.

Though you may be new, you've already done two important things correctly:
- you said hello in this thread :-)
- you posted your first work with points in the Premium group, which is where you'll find the best reviewers (it's where the cool kids hang out, lol)

If you haven't already, check out an article I posted in this forum with tips on how to get the most number of reviews; it's pinned near the top of the forum, so you can't miss it.

Don't hesitate to ask questions. I'm one of the other writers on the site and do user support as time permits to try to help new members get up to speed quickly and get the most out of the site during their (your) trial period. Feel free to send me a connection request if you'd like the ability to exchange private messages (click on Dirk B next to this note to go to my profile page, hit the blue Connect button near the upper right, fill in the blank, and send; once I accept, we can exchange messages). Alternatively, feel free to post your questions here (that's one of this forum's main uses). Everyone on the site will see it, so someone else may answer before I do. It's a handy way to meet people with whom you may eventually decide to trade reviews.

Although it's a small site at present, some of its members have been here well over a decade (including a few closing in on two decades), including experienced critiquers, editors, and published authors. Once you're up to speed with the site and begin trading reviews with long-term critique partners, you'll probably be hooked. However, some of the best writers/critiquers on the site don't necessarily write SFF, so be sure to explore other genres to find the partners you like best.

Also, join the Fantasy, Magic, and Sci-fi group if you want to interact with folks most interested in SFF. They can be very helpful for brainstorming ideas and solutions to plot issues and other story concerns. I practically live there. :-)

I hope you enjoy the site.

I've taken to writing at night when Gandalf is asleep, but it has caused me to sleep in randomly in the morning, so he tends to get his first meal after I wake up. I turn over this morning upon waking, and discover him sitting at my face (an inch or two away) with a big goofy smile on his face. I check the time, and figure he must be hungry, so I say, "Okay, let's go." He jumps on my chest and walks across me (naturally), then plops down facing a drawer where I keep some of his toy springs (the ones he likes to hide during the day and pull out and smack around in the middle of the night when my neighbors and I are trying to sleep), and looks back at me expectantly. I don't know if it's a trend yet, but he's waited several times now to start breakfast until after I throw that first spring and it's in his possession. Part of me wants to throttle my contractor for showing Gandalf how much fun it is to play fetch with toy springs.

Welcome, Jon.

I haven't been posting for a while, but I still do volunteer user support here and check in regularly, so feel free to send me a connection request for private messaging, or post any questions or issues you may have to the Premium forum. Someone else may respond before I even see it.

If you haven't already, please check out an article I posted in the Premium forum on tips for getting the most reviews of your writing. It's pinned near the top of the forum, so you can't miss it.

It's a small site right now (we're rebuilding the membership after a major server crash and letting folks trickle out for too long), although a number of us have been writing and posting on the site for well over a decade. There are also writers here who have published repeatedly yet still give freely of their time.

I'm hoping to (finally) resume posting the second draft of my apocalyptic thriller, the Emissary, this month. It's part one of a trilogy that tells my fictional interpretation of the end of the world, hopefully in a way that readers will find interesting (it uses a Catholic setting and characters for authenticity much the way Dan Brown does, although he's a bit more successful - for now - lol).

Please check out the book's content summary and prologue to see if you'd like to trade reviews. The prologue is intentionally high octane, with an Indiana Jones-style opening that you may enjoy.

Regardless, I'm happy to answer any site/writing questions I can.

Sorry for the late welcome. Happy New Year!
Dirk

I think the word you're looking for, njc, is, "Wow!" You're amazing, Marilyn. Talk about stellar reviews.
Congratulations.

Be afraid, Morag. Be very afraid! There are some with dark powers lurking about. :-)

Thanks,  Mitch.  She's gone, but will probably return. Bill had already closed a number of accounts belonging to her.

I see what you mean. Without clues It'd be hopeless. Best I could do would be to guess eagle for one of the two five-letter words, neither of which connects to anything else.

Having seen enough cat videos in my time, it didn't surprise me a few weeks ago when Gandalf knocked over the new Christmas tree (assembled so I could verify the lights work), although he did it only minutes after I left the room. My boy is a quick study.

So, we secured the tree to two walls in the corner with picture hanging wire looped through a couple of hooks. One of the walls is only half-height (a "pony" wall?), and divides the entryway from the living room without blocking the view of either. It includes a flat "cap" for keys, wallet, gloves, etc. and serves as Gandalf's throne as he presides over the space.

This evening I hear him meowing from the living room, and when I check, he's on the cap, shaking the tree back and forth, trying to knock it down. That little stinker was doing it on purpose. I wish I had caught that on video. :-)

I can only imagine what he'll do to the decorations later this month.

Anticross!
I really like crossdoodle.

Picaword? Pickaword? Or other variants.
Guessaword? Etc.

Assuming the answer requires the user to guess or pick a word, check a thesaurus for other variants of those two words. Take your favourites, and append -aword, -aname, or some other relevant suffix to the end of it.

Or: Ask Gemini. :-)

God Uses Deception as a Judgment (Biblical Examples)
However, the Bible contains specific instances where God is depicted as the agent of deception against those who have already rejected the truth, often as a form of judgment. These passages are the foundation for the "ethically wrong" argument: 
Sending a Delusion: Paul writes that for those who refuse to love the truth, God will send them "a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false" (2 Thessalonians 2:11). 
Deceiving Prophets: God is described as deceiving prophets who lead Israel astray as a judgment on the people who sought them out (Ezekiel 14:9; 1 Kings 22:23). 
The Hardening of the Heart: God "hardened" Pharaoh's heart, preventing him from agreeing to release the Israelites. This is a form of judicial action that prevents an already-willful person from seeing or accepting the truth.