Given how slow my progress of late, I think I'll stick to group for now. Otherwise I'd need to do twice as many reviews for each chapter I want to post.
1,551 2019-06-28 22:48:37
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,492 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
1,552 2019-06-28 08:29:23
Topic: Search bug - Bugs (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I tried looking up an existing writer, Will H., but the search function says there is no match. He's in my list of connections and his account is still active. The problem exists on both Android phone and desktop PC.
1,553 2019-06-25 03:39:31
Re: The Hurrieder I go, the Behinder I get (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Bill, I have a very hard time starting new scenes/chapters. I'll usually mope around endlessly trying to figure out how to write something, which is depressing and makes things worse. What works best for me is just to start writing notes in my Word document of the parts I think will be in the scene, then turn those into sentences, and eventually paragraphs. When my notes/sentences/paragraphs get too long to keep onscreen and in my head, I print them for easy reference. Scrolling up and down in Word doesn't work for me during the sausage-making period. I also move stuff around and delete garbage. What remains eventually turns into a scene. For my WIP, I got burned by not taking enough time to write chapter outlines, which is really just organized notes & sentences in a separate file. I've almost finished a detailed outline for my next scene, which I'll then use as the basis for the process I described above. It's a good thing my father was a sausage maker.
Pick a point in the story you want to write (any point) and start making notes or writing sentences & paragraphs. If you get stuck, go to another part of the story and do it again. I once wrote half a memoir's worth of material just by the seat of my pants before trying to organize it (because I had no clue what I was doing). However, it gave me enough material to do an actual outline of a story, which I turned into a sometimes funny but irreverent space opera. I decided it needs a major rewrite to rip out the irreverent parts, but it's salvageable. It's collecting dust while I try to write a Catholic-friendly story based on my Connor short story that you read some time ago. I just entered the latter in a Writer's Digest contest (my first). I thank you and others here for encouraging me to turn it into book form.
All hail the bratwurst!
Dirk
1,554 2019-06-22 02:03:14
Re: How to confuse and frustrate readers (20 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
You mean there's a place in the universe with active writing forums? Please tell me it's not abbreviated FB? I'd rather herd cats.
1,555 2019-06-21 21:32:44
Re: How to confuse and frustrate readers (20 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
At the risk of starting a feeding frenzy, I agree with Mariana. Head-hopping done well is often more concise. The following is from a scene in the POV of Father Romano, listening to Alessandro talk to a third person.
Without head-hopping:
Alessandro attempted to speak several times but seemed to have trouble finding the right words. Finally, he said, “...”
With head-hopping:
Alessandro attempted to speak several times but had trouble finding the right words. Finally, he said, “...”
When it's obvious to the POV character from context (omitted above for brevity), why spoon feed the reader "seemed to have"?
Naturally, I follow the herd, but it doesn't mean I always like it.
1,556 2019-06-21 01:41:42
Re: How to confuse and frustrate readers (20 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
If I had the time, I'd try to write something that follows all of the rules, just to see how it turns out.
1,557 2019-06-21 00:32:58
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,492 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
A slightly better ending for 1.4, IMO.
...
De Rosa climbed into the medical examiner’s van.
She fumed as she watched it drive out of sight. Given the Church’s millennia-old history of secrecy, Campagna suspected they would bury the autopsy results just as deeply as the cardinal.
1,558 2019-06-19 15:24:00
Re: Favorite book on the craft of writing? - Writing Craft (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
That's a great book. Very handy.
1,559 2019-06-18 20:51:42
Re: Skills Necessary for Writing Well (7 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I checked my Kindle library. WGF Revision & Self-Editing was among them. It's a really good book, so I'm spending the day rereading it instead of getting on with my poorly progressing book.
1,560 2019-06-18 12:03:18
Re: Skills Necessary for Writing Well (7 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you. I'll get on the list. Fortunately, the plot book in the WGF series was on sale for a couple of bucks.
1,561 2019-06-18 11:59:32
Re: Favorite book on the craft of writing? - Writing Craft (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you, Temple. I'll look into those. I'm on a limited budget, so I have to restrict myself to one or two.
1,562 2019-06-18 05:33:27
Topic: Favorite book on the craft of writing? - Writing Craft (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I've trolled through Amazon recently looking for great books on the craft of writing, only to come up pretty much empty. There seems to be an increasing trend where books are broken into bite-size Kindle fare that sell for $4 - $10 each. Has anyone come across a great book on this topic that made you a better writer? Please tell me there's more out there than Fiction for Dummies.
Thanks
Dirk
1,563 2019-06-17 22:36:20
Re: Capitalization of Secretary of State? - Capitalization (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you, Jack.
1,564 2019-06-17 16:01:07
Re: Skills Necessary for Writing Well (7 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Does anyone knows of a good writing book that encompasses most (all?) of the writing elements highlight in this blog post? I'm currently reading the Write Great Fiction series, but it's just an excuse to charge $10 for each major story element.
1,565 2019-06-16 11:31:01
Re: Minor vs. major scene breaks - Writing Craft (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank ye, kindly.
1,566 2019-06-16 01:37:17
Topic: Minor vs. major scene breaks - Writing Craft (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
My latest book has 2-4 major scenes per chapter, usually alternating between the points of view of two main characters. I'll eventually settle on a few fancy characters to divide major scenes in the finished book (e.g., wingdings or whatever translates well to Kindle). However, I've come across situations in which time elapses and/or location changes within some of the major scenes and I want to skip ahead to the next important event within the same scene. I was thinking of using an extra blank line as minor scene breaks and then, as noted above, something a little fancy for major scene breaks. Is this a reasonable thing to do?
Thanks
Dirk
1,567 2019-06-12 18:27:57
Re: Capitalization of Secretary of State? - Capitalization (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you, both.
1,568 2019-06-12 12:55:38
Topic: Capitalization of Secretary of State? - Capitalization (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I've looked up capitalization for the title Secretary of State. Some style manuals recommend capitalizing prestigious titles, including this one. However, is the title still capitalized when you shorten it to secretary? Note that in the paragraph below, director general is, technically, also a prestigious title. He's the most senior officer in Italy's national police force. It seems goofy to capitalize secretary but not director general, although that's a slippery slope.
De Rosa said, “I have to update the Vatican. The Secretary of State is awaiting my call.” He pulled out his cell phone and stepped away. He returned a few minutes later and addressed Campagna. “The secretary has informed me that he and your director general have already been in touch this morning about how to proceed if it’s the cardinal's body. You should expect a call momentarily.”
Thanks
Dirk
1,569 2019-06-11 00:43:01
Re: etc (68 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I've been stuck for hours, avoiding problems with my outline. I need a scene to fill in a gap, but the only obvious one is a funeral for Cardinal Vitale, but those usually (always?) take place at St. Peter's Basilica for cardinals. Even the disgraced Cardinal Law got a sendoff from Pope Francis there. However, I already have a scene planned for there as a special outing for the kids to go to Mass. I also have a funeral coming up involving Romano, so I don't want two of those either. I think I'll just go to bed and read. Maybe see how much I lost in the stock market today.
1,570 2019-06-09 22:11:46
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,492 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
John Hamler made an interesting observation of my scene 1.2 (the one where Vitale is buried alive). Initially, I referred to the antagonist in that scene as "the man", albeit with demonic attributes. However, as I tweaked it, it evolved to the point where he identified himself as the Antichrist up front, which I figured is obvious from the book summary anyway. That means my book's antagonist appears and kills his first cardinal in the second scene of chapter one. There's little build up of tension leading to his first attack, except for him caught running out of the orphanage at the end of scene 1.1. Although it may be happening too soon, a lot depends on the murder, especially scene 1.4, which introduces the two detectives and the start of the murder investigation, something I want to include in chapter one. My other option is to kill scene 1.2 and move directly to scene 1.4, leaving the reader with some unanswered questions about the killer. As is, digging up the cardinal in scene 1.4 holds no surprises, since the reader saw him buried alive in 1.2.
EDIT: One benefit of scene 1.2, in my opinion, is that the reader can see that the burial is not as horrific as one might imagine if the body simply turns up in 1.4 and it's discovered Vitale was buried alive. I want to try to avoid gruesome deaths, and Vitale's is relatively benign, given how scary it would normally be for a person being buried.
Thoughts?
Dirk
1,571 2019-06-09 21:49:22
Re: etc (68 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
You mean I'm not the only one that keeps happening to?
1,572 2019-06-09 04:55:41
Re: etc (68 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Are you finished with [T I a]? I noticed Mrs. [B l u e] is back.
1,573 2019-06-08 15:44:15
Re: How to word this? - Writing Craft (4 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I surrender. The short version it is. Vern, it's uncanny how you knew the way I drive.
Thanks to all for your feedback.
1,574 2019-06-08 00:26:19
Topic: How to word this? - Writing Craft (4 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
The following relates to my Catholic End Times story.
Background: Connor and Alessandro are teenagers living in a Catholic orphanage in Rome. Alessandro is having an epileptic seizure, and the room is filled with other boys witnessing the events. Connor is kneeling and holding Alessandro's head so Father Romano can apply a manual resuscitator to help Alessandro breathe. Connor then says a prayer (see below).
I'm told by Catholics on a forum I'm on that many Catholics cross themselves, speak the Trinitarian formula (In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.), say their intended prayer, then cross themselves again and repeat the formula. In the following, Connor prefers to say the formula in Latin, although many do not. I truncated the actual prayer for brevity.
Current Version:
Connor crossed himself. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.” He closed his eyes. “Father, just as you lifted your perfect Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, into heaven, I beseech you now in his name to lift this curse from Alessandro...” Connor crossed himself again.
Everyone echoed his final “Amen.”
In this version, the second formula is implied as indicated by the fact that everyone else in the room echoed his final amen. However, there are other instances in the book where characters pray as Connor/Catholics do, but if I were to write it as I did above, it would be too repetitive. Instead, I usually mention that someone crosses themselves, then prays. The rest I leave out. That annoys my pedantic side, because non-Catholics won't even know it's incomplete and Catholics might think it's done wrong.
Alternate Version:
Connor crossed himself. Like most Catholics, he always included the Trinitarian formula, albeit in Latin: “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.” He closed his eyes. “Father, just as you lifted your perfect Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, into heaven, I beseech you now in his name to lift this curse from Alessandro...” Connor crossed himself again.
Everyone echoed his final “Amen.”
The additional sentence essentially tells the reader that most characters in the book do it the way Connor does, although not always in Latin. Those reviewers who commented on the second version didn't like it. It's definitely clunky.
Thoughts?
Thanks
Dirk
1,575 2019-06-06 00:53:06
Re: Old-time slang (13 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Be sure everyone smokes cigarettes.