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I take a break like that after every chapter. :-) Fortunately, tax season is almost over. Give the horses a few green apples for me.

I'm killing the specials ops team. Too much like ghostbusters. The Italian press would be all over it. Lacks finesse. Most of the mystery will involve just Campagna & De Rosa reporting to highly placed leaders to keep a tight lid on things. De Rosa will be ordered to report directly to Gallo, the Vatican Secretary of State, and Campagna will report to the Director General of the Italian police. That'll help control the name count as well.

Changed shadowy figure to dark figure. I think shadowy was throwing people off.

I think I've got it. Satan has been conspiring for two millennia to seize control of the Church, quietly replacing clergy with his own servants. That plan is finally coming to fruition with only a few key figures left to be replaced. It is those few who are murdered by some violent means. Nothing too gruesome so I don't lose my target audience, but sufficient to satisfy the Unholy Trinity's lust for vengeance against all Catholic clergy. Campagna and De Rosa don't need to investigate a lot of different murders since most of them already happened in the past. They do, however, uncover this ancient conspiracy during the course of their investigation. That puts their lives in danger as they rush to expose the conspiracy, making for more of a classic thriller story. Boy this is going to be complex.

Saw your reply to my review. For what it's worth, your story did not strike as a panster. Just a little rough around the edges, which I'm sure you know how to clean up. The detective half of my story is mostly a pantser, which is why it fell apart. I saw the big looming problem (too much violence at a personal level for a Catholic novel) early on, but figured I would figure it out when I got there. Clearly that didn't work. So be it. I'm currently planning non-violent but mysterious deaths while adding Catholic elements to each body, including a Bible open to specific verses for each murder.

I think this works better:

I went back and deleted the horns. I decided there's a good story reason why those shouldn't be used.
The rustling was of paper. He stole a printed schedule.
It's not a man-shaped cloud of fog. It's a dark figure (e.g., a man who will only appear in shadows) surrounded by some amount of swirling fog. It could almost be explained as a guy wearing black clothing and black-face or a ski mask and costume-party contact lenses, and carrying dry ice. The part that makes him more than this is his ability to generate heavy fog and travel anywhere it can go (e.g., under doors). I'm trying to make scene 1.1 consistent with what Campagna and De Rosa see on the security footage in scene 2.2. I'm debating whether the orphanage doors are locked. If they're locked, Romano/the reader know this is a supernatural event, which is probably best to avoid for now. If they're unlocked, then Romano could reason the way I did above, which I think is preferable for this scene. He could think it was someone who entered the orphanage before the doors were locked for the night.
The howl is something a human can do, so Romano could reason that away too.

I hear you. For me it's tax season in three countries, and the Antichrist half of my story is not coming together

Congratulations on your wedding!

Did some edits of scene 2.2 (chapter 4) and put  it back up. Didn't bother to republish. You and Seabrass haven't blessed it yet, so that should suffice. Blessed. Get it?

As you know, capitalization of titles is the bane of my existence. In this case, there is only one duke in the story and capitalizing it grants him greater status in the story. Also, I question your rule of one. For example, in Galaxy Tales, there are three emperors (Nero, Apollo, and Caligula). Would you still capitalize it? Also, what about all the historical emperors? (Technically it's no longer an issue since I changed their titles to Augustus, but still...).

On second thought, does that example above (about the Duke) even need an 'and' to be grammatically correct? The longer I stare at it, the more it appears correct as is.

How are you doing, Amy?