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There was a movie by that name, too. I never saw it, but the title stuck.  When I needed something for my book opening, I went back and found the original quote. It sounded like a good opening line to hook the reader, so I structured the scene to be able to place it at the very top and very bottom of the scene. Thanks to Ann for suggesting I find a way to balance the two parts.

I see you attended the less is more academy. Me thinkst your right. Since it's a thought, I'll use italics and let the test that follows explain where it's from.

Thanks
Dirk

I was wondering what people think of the following ending to scene 1.2 (burying alive of Cardinal Vitale):

Is the idea of the Antichrist singing (The Prayer or Time to Say Goodbye) too silly?

Thanks
Dirk

Bobbie, are they members of Premium? And are they publishing to Premium? It requires points to publish to this group, and new members often bypass publishing to Premium because they don't have enough points. You need to be a member of a group to which they published.

What error message do you get?

Thanks, Gacela. Good summary on deep point of view. However, my gripe was with the idea of switching between 3rd person, past tense (indirect inner dialogue) and 1st person, present tense (direct inner dialogue) in the same paragraph, with nothing to distinguish when you're switching from one to the other and back again. I plan to ignore that fad.

I can see why subjective is disliked. :-)

Mine falls under what you call omniscient/close. Why is it considered omniscient? It's limited to Romano's POV.

Thanks
Dirk

I thought I'd never get these done. Scenes 1.3, 1.4, and 2.1 are up. Scene 1.3 is all new, but very short. 1.4 is a major rewrite of the beginning of the investigation of the murdered Cardinal Vitale. Scene 2.1 is a cleaned up version of the same scene from before, about the visit of the Secretary of State to the orphanage, where he first meets Connor.

My thanks to Bobbie, who jumped right on them. Her feedback has been incorporated.

Quick, go read!
Dirk

There's a petition on change.org to redo the whole final season. They were going for 35K signatures but have already exceeded a million. There's also a petition for Disney to remake the Star Wars prequel trilogy. If they do, I hope they hire the same director who did The Last Jedi. The internet would explode with dark side rage.

I just tried publishing a short story containing part of my book's outline, including multiple levels of bullets. The site handled it perfectly.

Also, if you want to do brainstorming beyond what you can get from simple reviews create a discussion thread with the topic "story name - pen name" in the Medieval/Fantasy Magic group. I know that's a weird place to put it, but I don't know of any other active groups besides that one and Premium. A bunch of us hang out there when we really should be writing.