Search options (Page 115 of 165)

Wow! Thanks for all the work. I decided Shiburasu is fine. No one but us will get the joke, anyway.

Shiburasu has grown on me. Is there a meaningful difference between Shiburasu and Sheburasu? I'm guessing the latter sounds more like shay, but I don't know what I'm talking about.

It's the second exchange with Windsor about becoming a drag queen: I gather you were unimpressed with my last request. Perhaps you are right. Jangaroo is cookoo for cocopuffs.

The last bit needs replacing. Thanks.

Ponder, I will. Please let me know if you think of a way to make this work. Thanks.

Janet, do you know of Aussie words for nutty or daffy, or nut (noun)? I'm tweaking chapter one.

Thanks
Dirk

I was afraid of that.

I was hoping to keep his pen name more obvious. I'll try Shibrassu.

Thanks
Dirk

Correction, that was Apollo. Andrew just thrashed around until the rope did it's thing.

The hanging! I forgot about Andrew's head popping off at the gallows. Nuts. I need to leave that in for story reasons in v3.

New topic. Gratuitous violence. I have lots. I'm debating scaling back the violence, perhaps to a PG-13 level. I noticed in the latest Star Wars that the stormtroopers were actually hitting their human targets in the opening scene. I never knew they could aim. And who doesn't love a stormtrooper with a flamethrower in the dark of night?!

I don't mind blowing up 100 million souls on New Bethlehem since you never see it happen, kinda like Alderaan. I can definitely scale back the wanton slaughter of the cadets on the parade square. No need to mention their severed body parts, the gathering flies, etc. I want to keep Colonel Montford's severed arm since he just keeps going like pink bunny on rocket fuel. Billie (formerly Anikh) needs to die in Joseph's arms in order to pull off two critical plot developments, including her showing up in Joseph's head. However, she could die of simple smoke inhalation. No need to blast her.

I would miss Ensign Ecks charging headfirst into the line of fire, blowing out the chests of one Classiarii after another, while howling "For the Realm!" (Amy wrote that, probably after double duty in the ER, treating mass shooting victims, pumped up on six cups of Starbucks espresso, extra sugar). It's a great scene, showing his courage in the face of death. And I absolutely love the howl. However, he also gets decapitated and his head rolls toward the admiral, eyes still open. The decapitation can go. I guess the chests blowing out needs to go, too. Not sure about the latter.

More violence happens on Earth where Apollo's father executes young William at the Colosseum. Also, there's the staged assassination against the emperor. I have a lot of bodies in there, too. Also, Caligula gets part of his head blown off there, although that has to stay in order to make him a cyborg. I also toss some of Mama's guards out of a flying vehicle and plow the rest into a building.

And let's not forget space battles. Those are sufficiently sanitized to keep. I blow up a few worthless characters. Meh.

Last, but not least, Joseph blows the admiral's head off. That stays!

That's most of it.

Thoughts?

aproposal