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Dill Carver wrote:Why do North Americans feel a compulsion and the sense of entitlement to hijack bastardise and dumb-down every word they find personally inconvenient?
Ignorance, arrogance or both?
Neither. My phone's Swype software offered up brule, so i went with it. Pardon me for not crawling out of bed, powering up my computer to use my French-English keyboard, and googling the correct spelling to play a fun word game with people, most of whom I know well enough to know they would never be offended by a typo.
Aren't you a pleasant little fellow....
There are "multiple" views of the corridor outside the bridge. I never specify how many. No drones. The bridge is the nerve center of the ship, and has to be protected, so plenty of cameras.
Thank you, Gacela. It needs tweaking as suggested by graymartin, but I'm very pressed for space in that chapter (20 pages!), and it is a battle scene, so telling seems reasonable. However, I thought the description of the colonel's actions was showing, which is why I was scratching my head when I was told it was telling.
Very helpful. Thank you, all.
Here's one I have that stubbornly refuses to be trimmed of wases and weres. NJC and Janet Reid helped me get it down to three at one point, but as I added detail, it crept back up to five. This could be a good exercise for a writing class. :-)
Seven-year-old Apollo Julius Caesar III sat with his half-brothers in the game room of Domus Augusti, the Imperial palace in Rome, Italy on Earth. The brothers were perched in floating chairs in front of a galactic simulator made up of four command and control stations, one per child. Caligula was a year older than Apollo, and the twins, Romulus and Remus, a year younger.
As the only child of the Imperator and Imperatrix, Apollo was sole heir to the Imperium Romanum, and was guarded round the clock by a quartet of Candidatii, elite members of the Imperator’s Praetorian Guard. Unlike Apollo, his brothers were non legitimus — illegitimate sons of the Imperator.
I should add that the person watching the video is the colonel's commanding officer and knows him well. I thought the conclusions she draws regarding 'in response' and 'undaunted' were quite reasonable. It's how she perceives those moments about him.
I had the exact same issue as rhiannon. I told the entire tale from the POV of my two MCs, Joseph and Apollo, alternating back and forth between them on a chapter-by-chapter basis. A secondary character, Caligula, was there as an antagonist. I decided to bring in his POV near the end when I needed the reader to think Apollo was dead. It's one of my favorite chapters in the whole book. I'm now rewriting to foreshadow his surprise role in that chapter.
Can someone please tell me if the paragraph below is showing or telling. It's written from the POV of someone outside the scene who is watching this on video. I was just told this is telling.
Soon, weapons fire targeted the Marines from three sides as Classiarii forced their way through other hatches. The Marines were hopelessly outnumbered. In response, Colonel Montford stood up and walked purposefully into the heaviest stream of oncoming fire, taking out one Imperial after another until they blew off his left arm at the shoulder. Undaunted, the heavily muscled man continued firing his crisper with one hand, yelling wildly as he moved relentlessly forward, his eyes bulging from their sockets. Blood gushed from his wound. The Marines rose and followed his lead, causing the enemy to fall back in fear. Montford’s troops chased them down the passageways as the colonel dropped dead to the deck.
Thanks
Dirk
Thank you, sir. I sent a PM to Sol asking about hosting images/tables. Perhaps there's a way.
Thanks, Tom. I'm surprised we can't host the actual image here on the site.
What will happen to your Japanese characters when you publish? Kindle allows resizing of regular text. Do the images automatically resize as well?
Can someone please suggest an image file type that translates well into book format? Compression ratio? Also, how to insert it into chapters here online. I have a fictional "forum" in my book and would like it to include posts from multiple users, including the poster's name, the text, and a timestamp. Ideally, something that resizes automatically depending on what device the reader is using to read with (phone, tablet, PC). Should I use a Word table instead?
Thanks
Dirk
SolN wrote:Interesting idea. I'll look into it. What about to-do related to book?
Do you mean a separate to-do feature, rather than sending messages to self? It sounds interesting, but I know you have limited resources. Messages to self are a poor man's solution that probably require a lot less work. Your call.
Thanks.
Dirk
I was wondering how easy it would be to allow sending messages to self? I would use them as to-do items related to my book. Currently, I flip over to email and send myself messages there. This would create a record of them in my TNBW account. All doable using other software, but this puts them together.
Only worth doing if it's a simple tweak.
Thanks
Dirk
Can someone please suggest an image file type that translates well into book format? Compression ratio? Also, how to insert it into chapters here online. Bill suggested adding timestamps to my Royals Forum posts, and basic formatting doesn't lend itself to that. Should I use a Word table?
Thanks
Dirk
Almost wrote three whole drafts without looking up shogun. Turns out the word I was shooting for all along was samurai. Some days....
v4 of chapter five, A Pax Romana, is up. I can't believe you folks allowed me to get away with v3.
K, I kept what you wanted and ditched the rest, then added the new material.
Quick go read!
Dr. Georges Gilles de la Tourette
I'm looking to keep it within the realm of physically possible, albeit improbable. I'll punt cold fusion in favor of generic power cores if I have to. I used the latter in my second draft. Cold fusion is a little sexier, without requiring an explanation. Assuming cold fusion is ever made to work, it is expected to emit heat, which is converted to power. Instead of the leaked coolant in v2 causing the pilot to be cooked from within, I assume I can vent excess heat into space. So I would need to destroy the ability of the fusion core to vent heat to get the same roast pilot. Yes?
The subways are definitely very loud when they go shooting past.
Sparkanium it is.
Next item. Does anyone think it's particularly bad to have both cold fusion and dark energizers in the book? I don't dwell on it, but cold fusion is used for low power applications (e.g. flying cars, starfighters, etc.) while the energizers are used for all the big capital ships. I'm not sure where to draw the line, though. Should a garbage scow have an energizer?
On a related note, my understanding of cold fusion is that it produces excess heat, so I have a damaged fusion core overheating in a starfighter to the point of killing the occupant. I introduced coolant in the starfighters to prevent this from happening normally. Reasonable?
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