How about:
Bombast was a sitting U.S. president when he famously “chirped” his resignation from the Oval Office, claiming he was called by the Lord to battle the Antichrist mano a mano.
I'm debating using the often-misused mono y mono, which means monkey and monkey.
It's intentionally tongue-in-cheek, which is something I began doing in act three onward (and on into v3). And don't forget about ancestry.com. That kind of search will be a simple lookup in a few years. Also, the Queen of England is known to be a descendent of King David (now that's cool!).
If I get rid of the tweeting, I would drop US president too. Technically, you would expect that the president's real name be given in such an essay/article anyway, so that was a known weakness to the writeup. I kind of like Bombast, though, so that begs the question who better than Trump for that role? It should have the potential to be based on someone real without coming right out and saying it. It helps if they're dead, so I can't get sued.
I was originally going to use Bishop Bling, but that's already taken. $30M to renovate a church?! Might as well rebuild St. Peter's Basicala.
Who do you think was driving?
HOV lane, into reindeer.
Airplane without peer.
LSD
Merry Christmas from the North Pole.
Okay, it's Canada, but damn is it cold!
I'm on the mend
Glad to hear it. It doesn't help that many uninsured in the US have to go to the hospital ER to get non-emergency medical care. The long wait time in very uncomfortable chairs in the Jersey City ER was more stressful than anything else. I finally discovered that in the middle of the night there was virtually no waiting.
Talk about having a big old stick up your butt...
Here's the ordering if I delay both articles until later:
1. For the Realm! - intro to Admiral Windsor aka Joseph's grandmother in 3994 AD
2. Boys With a Destiny - intro to Joseph, Apollo, and God, fast forward thru childhood to 4017 AD
3. The Shadow of Death - Joseph's first full chapter, his world and its history, action begins
4. A Pax Romana - Apollo's first full chapter, intro to the shogun, Apollo's destiny revealed
5. Galactipedia: The Great Collapse of Civilization - first major galactic event of the future
6. I Will Shake the Universe - Andrew's hanging, Joseph's destiny revealed
7. Galactipedia: The Rise of the Julii - second major future event
8. Title TBD - intro to the imperator and imperatrix, their relationships with Apollo, the Throne Room
It just doesn't work. Joseph writes his essay before the reader knows anything substantive about the Great Collapse. Also, we then seesaw back and forth between story chapter and Galactipedia starting from chapter four. One of the advantages of having the Great Collapse before the main story chapters is that it gives history that affects both MCs. The New Bethlehem essay is relevant to Joseph. And the Rise of the Julii is relevant to Apollo.
Here's what it looks like if I move the essay out as a Galactipedia article:
1. For the Realm! - intro to Admiral Windsor aka Joseph's grandmother in 3994 AD
2. Boys With a Destiny - intro to Joseph, Apollo, and God, fast forward thru childhood to 4017 AD
3. Galactipedia: The Great Collapse of Civilization
4. The Shadow of Death - Joseph's first full chapter, action begins
5. A Pax Romana - Apollo's first full chapter, intro to the shogun, Apollo's destiny revealed
6. Galactipedia: New Bethlehem
7. I Will Shake the Universe - Andrew's hanging, Joseph's destiny revealed
8. Galactipedia: The Rise of the Julii
9. Title TBD - intro to the imperator and imperatrix, their relationships with Apollo, the Throne Room
This one at least is balanced. Two opening chapters, an article before starting the main story, two story chapters (one per MC), followed by one article+chapter for each MC.
As K noted somewhere, my early chapter ordering bounces around quite a bit between semi-prologue, MCs, and Galactipedia articles:
1. For the Realm! - intro to Admiral Windsor aka Joseph's grandmother in 3994 AD
2. Boys With a Destiny - intro to Joseph, Apollo, and God, fast forward thru childhood to 4017 AD
3. Galactipedia: The Great Collapse of Civilization - first major galactic event of the future
4. The Shadow of Death - Joseph's first full chapter, his world and its history, action begins
5. Galactipedia: The Rise of the Julii - second major future event
6. A Pax Romana - Apollo's first full chapter, intro to the shogun, Apollo's destiny revealed
7. I Will Shake the Universe - Andrew's hanging, Joseph's destiny revealed
8. Title TBD - intro to the imperator and imperatrix, their relationships with Apollo, the Throne Room
The Great Collapse has to come before The Rise of the Julii (about 2 pages each), and both need to come very early in the story. I could potentially delay Rise of the Julii to just before chapter 8 (Apollo's second full chapter). That would give me three story chapters after the Great Collapse before the next article. I also snuck in a two-page "essay" by Joseph into chapter 4 which would have otherwise been another article. I'm still itching to do it that way. Add to all this the fact that the story chapters alternate between Joseph and Apollo. Any publisher looking at this would probably say WTF? Talk about demolishing a formula.
Thoughts?
I looked up bigly. It's a word! My theory is that Trump, really a Democrat, is actually brilliant and putting on a reality show while secretly destroying the Republican Party.
Those aren't nice ways to talk about Kdot.
The Bombastic Boss of Bling
means: Run! Run like the wind!
How about:
New Bethlehem is a God-fearing world, founded by religious conservatives descended from the Reverend ‘Bombast,’ as he was affectionately known among his flock. The Reverend Bombast was a sitting U.S. president when he famously ‘tweeted’ his resignation from the Oval Office after being sovereignly chosen and called by God to a higher purpose. His heirs eventually fled Earth in the late third millennium to escape the planet’s ever-worsening Warming, and the Imperium’s cowardly tyrannical oppression.
I think tweet is probably safe since future candidates are going to have to have a Twitter presence, at least until the fad runs its course. You're right, though, I have to find a name that "could" be Trump, without naming him. Pastor Bling? Reverend Bombast?
Knowing as my regulars do the extent of nonsense in my book, I was wondering if the following is too over-the-top. I'm leaning toward punting it. (Joseph is dictating this to his AI as an essay.)
“Let’s keep going. … New Bethlehem is a God-fearing world, founded by a conservative religious dynasty descended from Shepherd Donald Trump, who famously “tweeted” his resignation as U.S. President to take up a “higher calling.” Followers of his faith eventually fled Earth in the late third millennium to escape the planet’s ever-worsening Warming, and the Imperium’s cowardly tyrannical oppression.”
Thanks
Dirk
If you have or are going to read chapter 4, I suggest listening to this first. It's a hoot, and relevant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CnPv_1SVh0
Aussie will just die.
Jokesaurus
big guide means a lot of joshing
Gallistony
Woohoo! Chapter 4 is up (the attack on the palace).
Quick, go read!
I don't understand why the expanded distribution increases the price of the book through CreateSpace. Is it because the purchase of your book in the expanded distribution space includes reseller markup?
I've received feedback that -ing verbs should be avoided whenever possible. Here's an example:
Alexander raced from behind the desk to come to Joseph’s aid, but Cain elbowed Joseph’s father in the face, driving him to the ground, dazed and bleeding.
In the above, the word 'driving' can be replaced with 'which drove.' One word replaced by two.
Is this a common rule of thumb to follow?
Oh, and crisper wins as the default rifle. Toaster reappears as the handgun. The other names may be versions of those.
Knife tech will be a third class of weapon.
I like Stir-fry a lot.
Microwaver, perhaps?
Meatball Maker.
I'll Google kitchen tech and have a little fun. There are probably a bunch related to knives, too.
This is gonna rock! Thanks
Dirk
