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Amy, I reread the library chapter. Following were the elements that I thought slowed it down:
- the descrition of the paintings of Behira, and about the Sixteen
- the part where Alda gives Tazar and Lewellen stuff to do that never really gets done, nor some hint that these were important tasks, rather than make-work
- the book of herbs
- finding the second copy of Tazar's book

I'm not suggesting getting rid of all of it, as there needs to be some effort on Alda's part looking for the book. Or maybe not, maybe she knows where it is, and she's simply hesitant to reveal that she's read it. Also, only you would know if some of that material is needed later in the story. I suggest getting an extra opinion or two before you cut anything.

Hope this helps.
Dirk

EDIT: Also, it's the kind of detail that Tolkien would have added, so you're in good company, but his setting descriptions of every part of the journey dragged, at least for me.

Amy, you forgot that Kwan is holding a blue kitten.

Maxular deverneration.

Amy, thanks for the suggestion. My mother has very poor veins in her legs that have turned her lower legs brownish from pooled blood. She has special tight stockings to wear to force the blood to flow back up the leg. I think she's supposed to sit with her legs up, but she walks around quite a bit, then is in pain every evening. She's been on antibiotics repeatedly. There is progress after almost two months. The wound care nurse says it looks much better, with significant healing. Another trip coming up to the advanced wound care clinic downtown next week. I hate driving downtown. It's like my first few trips on the NJ Garden State Parkway in rush hour. Grab your balls...

FYI, everyone else has been reviewed, except you. I'll work on that tomorrow. I owe K an extra review because his chapters are Tiny Tims compared to the elephants I'm cranking out at present. I want to flesh out my world this draft, hopefully in ways that keep the reader interested. I'm going to try and keep up with chapter edits as I write this draft. I really hope there's not a v4 ahead of me. It'll be 7-8 years total to write this thing, and it's only book one. If it wasn't for a chance to create a Christian Empire in the story, with tons of great stuff about the crusades to borrow from, I'd tack the final chapter of the trilogy at the end of book one and be done with it. Maybe just two books... There's a story I want to tell in the year 7329 AD that has been brewing for over a decade. It'll be fun to link then all together in one universe.

Hi Janet. I have a new turkey ... er, chapter up in the v3 book. I'm going even slower than my usual glacial place since my mother has a leg ulcer that requires 2-3 doctor visits per week. I'm the chauffer. Add to that one or two trips to the grocery store, and my own doctor appts, and the weeks just fly by. Chapter two includes edits from Amy, K, and Seabrass. I'll keep reading yours until you say stop. I now owe reviews to everyone.

Gobble gobble.
Dirk

I can't put her at the end. There's a sequence to the writeups, and Ess is first. The others build on it. I'll try putting it at the beginning of the chapter and see who freaks. I can always move the big writeups in between the chapters to keep the order right without cramming together an epigraph with a chapter to which it doesn't really fit. It's unfortunate. All the others fit in nicely.

For sale. Big can. Flushes well!

Oddly, I didn't mind Bombadill on my latest reread.

What would be your reaction if you saw the epigraph about the collapse of civilization at the beginning of the next chapter (the attack on the royal palace)? The only tenuous connection between them is that the collapse and the Warming lead to a mass exodus from Earth, which leads to the founding of New Bethlehem.

It also explains my writing style. Deep POV? Wazzat?

Ox needed for ploughing.

Although I can't remember exactly, I've seen either movies or shows that have done it. One was a countdown to a bomb exploding.

MASH did it (counting forward) with a surgical procedure in which a critically wounded patient only had something like 20 minutes to live while they waited for another terminally ill soldier to die so they could harvest a body part. They had the clock onscreen the whole time.

Like I said, if it's a dud, I can easily yank them and all I've lost is a few hours working on a precise timeline. I did it for v2 as well.

No other book does it? Now you're just egging me on.

I used End of Days and made the changes to my offline copy. It comes across very well. So much so, I'm going to continue the countdown in later chapters, whittling it down to months, weeks, and then days until Caligula attacks. The only hard part is figuring out the exact timeline so I can count down to zero. I'll finalize it after v3 is written.