601 Reply by Kdot

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Are you saying not to capitalize because there's more than one of them? If my story had multiple crown princes, they'd still be capitalized, as long as they're not in the same room at the same time

Indeed. Think about the word "Imperial"... it's the name of your league (technically).

The British imperial ship. (It's primarily British (league-assignment), but among the British ships, it's a member of a group known as imperial)

The imperial ship (It's of unknown league-assignment but whatever league that is, it's a member of the imperial group)

The American ship (It's of the American (league). It is not of the imperial group)

The Imperial ship (It's of the Imperium (league). It may or may not also be imperial - or all ships in that league might be considered also members of the imperial group)

I didn't intend to extend this to "regent" or "prince" etc of which there may be many entities... so let me apply it now:

If there was a country called "Regent" I would expect to see:
"The Regent ship"
and not
"The regent ship"

For the Imperial part, you might solve it by changing the name of the league. I mean... if Apollo builds a royal ship, he'd have to name it "the Imperial imperial ship" which is a little awkward

Quote Post 601

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

I must have overdosed on dopey pills again. I don't understand what you're driving at.

Quote Post 602

603 Reply by Kdot

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Sure...

Joseph is sitting around in the neutral zone one day when he sees three ships pass by. All three are from Earth... one is Apollo's personal vacation yacht, one if the battle cruiser defending it, and the third belongs to a civilian scrap metals collector. Note that the yacht and the battle cruiser are imperial (eg belonging to a different group than the junk collectors. Note: all 3 ships come from the same place (The Imperium which makes them Imperial).

Quiz: When Joseph looks up and sees the battle cruiser, the yacht, and the garbage ship, what can he exclaim?

a) I see three Imperial ships

b) I see two imperial ships and one Imperial ship

c) I see three imperial ships

I would suggest that (c) is incorrect. The garbage ship is not imperial - it's a civilian craft. It is however from a place whose adjectival form is Imperial. As a place-name, it should get the capitals. The other two ships are both Imperial (from the place) and imperial (belonging to the empire - eg military property).

It follows that all ships originating from Earth Are Imperial, but only a few are imperial.

Hope this helps!

Quote Post 603

604 Reply by njc

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Two US Navy ships and an American freighter?

Quote Post 604

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

I see three Canadian ships. No such thing as canadian ships.

Quote Post 605

606 Reply by amy s

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

I see three ships!

I'm beginning to see that Rome fell because too many of Her citizens learned to read.

Quote Post 606

607 Reply by Norm d'Plume (edited by Norm d'Plume 2017-01-07 17:21:42)

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Now then, why should governor be lowercase when Regent is capitalized? It seems to me that it's a vestige of our era when governor is not royalty, nor a ruler of an entire country or empire.

Quote Post 607

608 Reply by Norm d'Plume (edited by Norm d'Plume 2017-01-08 01:00:35)

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Having gone another round with Google over the term governor, I'm going to use caps when it's a specfic governor (in place of his/her name) and there is no ambiguity (e.g., the Governor raced into the Command Center, followed by Apollo). It's not generally done, but it makes sense that an unelected planetary governor deserves a high title. Ajaw will also be capîtalized because it translates to King, even though it's only of a city-state. So, basically, I've capitalized every fricken title. I can die happy now. :-)

Quote Post 608

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Okay, minor course correction. Governors will be called Consuls in v3, taken from Ancient Rome. Also caps.

Quote Post 609

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

At last! Chapters 2-6 have been updated with all feedback so far. Gobs that was a lot of effort. No need to rereview. I'm too tired to look at them again (for now). I did, however, notice a bunch of non-applied reviews for chapter one. Grrr. That's today's task, and then I'm taking a vacation from writing to clean up my desk and clear a bunch of to-dos.

Minor change: The Shogun is once again named Kobayashi. I couldn't warm up to Shibrassi, since it's not a valid Japanese name. I'll find someplace else to slip Seabrass into the book. Any suggestions for where I could use him? Also, how would you render Don Chambers in Japanese?

Quote Post 610

611 Reply by Kdot

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Yeh... Chambers is impossible for me to render for you. Chi-ye-m (n) - ba ru zu? Nope. You need to find reviewers with Asian names instead.

Quote Post 611

612 Reply by Kdot

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Here... try to stick to these sounds:
http://www.maikeru.cc/images/katakana_chart.jpg

Quote Post 612

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Cool chart. Thanks. Not a lot to work with, is it? I decided I'm too used to Kobayashi to slip in a very rough approximation of someone's name from the site. It's probably easier to Imperialize their names, or make one of them a victim of Aussie in a news epigraph. Seabrass is probably going to have something to do with fish. It just begs for sea bass. Perhaps the meal that kills Nero is sea bass. Better yet, make him the chef.

Quote Post 613

614 Reply by njc

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

You could drop the 'r' in Chambers and start with Chi-a

Quote Post 614

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

No, I decided I don't want to disfigure one of my character names just to throw a nod to the reviewer. I have plenty of room for more nonsense where the names are a better fit. Don currently appears as the planet Dawn, although I need to punt that, since Imperial planets would have Imperial names.

For Seabrass, there's sea bass, C. Bass/Brass, and Cee/See Bass/Brass. Having him be the (offscreen) character who poisons Apollo's father is good fun, provided I can work in the name. Tricky given that anyone associated with Nero would generally have an Imperial name. If I can tie Seabrass to the unseen homicidal robot Aussie, so much the better. Maybe Aussie goes to work at the palace because Nero no longer trusts human cooks. Aussie will definitely appear "in person" in my post-battle chapter where everything is explained.

By the way, Acme, Inc. has now appeared twice in just the first four chapters. It was founded by Prof. Hinkley in the 24th century. The njc cameo occurs late in act one, just before I open a chapter inside the starlanes.

Quote Post 615

616 Reply by amy s

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Hiragana is used for Japanese names. Katakana is used to write out foreign introductions to the culture. i.e. Ko-Ko-Ko-Ra (Coca Cola)

Don Chambers

To-n Chi-a-n-bu-ru

It's close, at least

Quote Post 616

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Is there a word anyone can think of to replace artificially in the following sentence:

Artificially enhanced adrenaline showed in their wild-eyed expressions.

I'm trying to say that the Imperial Classiarii have increased the amount of adrenaline in their systems by injecting some. Akhere suggested I have the wrong word here, which I think is right. Among other things, it can be misread as modified adrenaline. I hunted and pecked through the thesaurus but couldn't find an alternative.

Thanks.
Dirk

Quote Post 617

618 Reply by Kdot

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

I believe you're targeting the wrong word. My eyes settle on "enhanced" as the problem

enhanced adrenaline showed in their...

effecively what you're attempting to convey is that "an unnatural amount of adrenaline" was in their bodies as opposed to that adrenaline being enhanced.

Quote Post 618

619 Reply by amy s

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Chemically enhanced

Modified adrenaline

Supplemented adrenaline

Big whomping juice of adrenaline


FYI, I just read "Redshirt," by Skalazi. It is sarcastic in a Dirk kinda way. Read it if you want a laugh...

Quote Post 619

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

I went with boosted adrenaline.

Thank you both.
Dirk

Quote Post 620

621 Reply by Norm d'Plume (edited by Norm d'Plume 2017-01-12 16:08:07)

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a pen name for Janet (Reid) in the paragraphs below. I think Jangaroo is too silly and takes you out of the story. I'd like something that is relatively obvious that it's Janet (if possible), while still being fun for the reader who has no clue who she is. I can't use the name Janet, since there are two. Janet TP appears as 'Patient Janet' in one of the epigraphs in act two. An Australian expression might work here. Queen Woop Woop? Etc.

“A drag queen? Fascinating! I would like to explore that. Would you consider calling me ‘Queen Jangaroo?’ That was the nom de plume of a notorious Australian spy, masquerading as an author of historical porn, beheaded on the orders of U.S. President Tru…. My infrared sensors detect a sharp rise in your facial temperature, Admiral. Are you ill?”
...
Brain said, “I gather you were unimpressed with my last request, Admiral. Perhaps you are right. ‘Jangaroo’ is unhinged. The very thought of it is tickling my safeguards against homicide.” The AI paused, then asked, “Would you consider ‘Aussie?’ I’m sure it wouldn’t trigger such a reaction.”

Quote Post 621

622 Reply by amy s

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Porn queen? Brings new meaning to the phrase, "down under".

Quote Post 622

623 Reply by Norm d'Plume (edited by Norm d'Plume 2017-01-13 02:52:45)

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

I like the down under joke a lot, but I'm shooting for PG-13 with v3. How about:

“A drag queen? Fascinating! I would like to explore that. Would you consider calling me ‘Queen A.J. Rowling?’ That was the nom de plume of a notorious Australian spy masquerading as an author of historical porn while on a walkabout in the United Sta.... My infrared sensors detect a sharp rise in your facial temperature, Admiral. Are you ill?”
...
Brain said, “I gather you were unimpressed with my last request, Admiral. Perhaps you are right. ‘Rowling’ is nonsensical. No good could ever come of such a name. The very thought of it is tickling my safeguards against homicide.” The AI paused, then asked, “Would you consider ‘Aussie?’ I’m sure that would be perfectly safe.”

Quote Post 623

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

Woo hoo! All my outstanding updates are done for chapters 1 - 5. Of course, Amy and Bill K. haven't weighed in on the later chapters yet, so there's sure to be another frenzy of activity soon. I wonder how long I'll be able to keep up with edits as I try to push forward with v3.

Quote Post 624

Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.

amy s wrote:

Porn queen? Brings new meaning to the phrase, "down under".

Good one! Never heard that one before! tongue

ps - only because I like you Amy, you get away with shit like this! big_smile

Quote Post 625