1,051

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Hmm. He has X amount of time left. Provided that air loss continues at a constant rate and that no loose objects (or people) plug the hole and restrict the air loss. The AI made a prediction based on the information it had. The prediction was not mathematical certanity but a guess based on information the AI had at the time (eg: what if one occupant died earlier than expected leaving more air for the others?)

I mean if during a drive to Vancouver (ew!), my AI predicted my fuel would run out in four minutes but it lasted eight, I'd think it was off by fifty percent due to reasons outside its control (temperature, expansion of the pipes, bad sensors, squirrels in the gas tank). The ratio is too low to be a miracle. When I reach my destination, I'll hardly emerge a born-again Christian.

if you want a miracle-in-doubt I recommend you give it a really long time. Like four hours. They get rescued. The leak is still there. The ship's oxygen tanks are empty as the AI said. It's clear the AI's calculation of death -- no matter how affected by outside factors -- is valid

1,052

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Congratulations. Writing "the end" is a great feeling. Here's to many more.

No field day.

Writing a story about someone who's actively trying *not* to take action is difficult. One of my mains (the amazing [K a j o]) falls into that category. I basically surrounded him in people he grows to like and slowly take them away from him as a penalty for inaction until finally he's spurred to move. At the end of his book one, in the final chapter, he's finally like "okay fine, I'll get up and do something" -- the end.

This is a tough structure to write... after all why should the reader care about my MC if he can't be bothered to lift a finger for himself? We tend to want to read about someone motivated. If they aren't motivated, the story has to do backflips to keep us tagging along. Samuel Beckett had this ability. And Robertson Davies.

I know this doesn't help. Just some thoughts.

These trips... they're voluntary?

I say get to the lovey dovey

1,056

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Define "lost'

1,057

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Norm d'Plume wrote:

Perhaps a "blaster" with multiple settings?

1. I forgot the sunscreen
2. I'm wearing a red shirt
3. BBQ
4. Liquify
5. Reactors look balmy compared to this
6. Mushroom cloud
7. The sun is jealous
8. Sh*t, I just melted the planet
9. We don't need no stinkin' solar system
10. Big bang

1,058

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

If they don't have distilled spirits, try wine? They had plenty of that well before JC

You have the makings of a nice 3 pillar story here, should Maya side against both the Empire and the Scofflaws.

1,060

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

If you went with the previous concept, you could put one or two nanoids in each bullet - don't need thousands if they're going to start replicating once released.

It would be a lot of work for a nanoid to bind free-floating air molecules into anything useful. You're looking to break some pretty tight covalent bonds just to get use out of a water molecule. It's best you keep them working at the molecular level than the atomic unless they have infinite power handy

1,061

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Most would suggest carbon. It's available in abundance from cells, allowing for replication. Probably need a bit of silicon (not sure where theyd get that) and iron (easily obtained from the bloodstream). In my story, they latch onto the mitochondria for juice

1,062

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Perhaps the laser struck a neural implant?

There are more missing chunks, which I'll try to hit when I reach that point. You're possibly experiencing the fear of overexplaining. It's a legitimate concern.

There are significant portions of that scene that you can see in your head so clearly, you don't feel you should write them down

1,065

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

s lazed = a laser

1,066

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Bzzt!

1,067

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I eliminated the word banking because it was causing confusion

You poor thing. Here's a cookie

1,068

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

My cadets execute banking moves as they arc toward/away from the Actium's main hangar bay, trying to overload the shield emitter while minimizing exposure to cannons surrounding the bay

Not sure I get this one. Banking increases your radar cross section as well as presents a larger surface area for a cannon to hit.
http://kwan.skyfire.ca/images/tnbw/Jet.png
Perhaps we each mean something different by "bank"

They're flying in circles along the side of the enemy warship

Did you mean encircling? Around?
http://kwan.skyfire.ca/images/tnbw/Jet2.png
Ont tiny word, so much difference in meaning. Any time I not that I'm not 100% certain where everyone is, just hunt for words like this and you'll get people like me on the level.

In regards to the topic in the other group (and in the interest of avoiding debate with CFB), I'd like to add that I don't mind when an author omits the "looking in" factors of the POV character.
"his eyes were red" or "he was disheveled" or "he paled" / "he went white as a ghost" I'd prefer (as a reader) these observations come via dialog from someone observing the M/C. If the M/C has to tell me, I feel like he's stepped out of the situation to keep me informed. I mean, if I walk into an elevator and see a tiger, the last thing I'm thinking is how pale I am.
When in doubt, imagine Paul Atreides blushing.

That said, in your case, the character's redness is very much of interest to the character, and he'd probably be thinking about it.

Another thought... I wonder if we all feel ourselves "go red". That might be part of the anti-beet-red segment's opinion. I've certainly never done it unless you count that time I did a 20 minute handstand as a kid. I can imagine what it feels like. I'm no shrinking violet, socially speaking. There isn't a dialogue we could have in public that would make me shy and awkward like that (I would expect no less of any e-type personality, movie star, or prince).

1,069

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You're correct so far...

note: Star Trek and Star Wars both break the laws of physics. Objects in space sometime bank as if travelling through a medium. Some objects drift to a stop despite lacking a brakign mechanism. I have a catch I've complained on here before where an object "blows" off Anakin's starboard wing.

So if your story makes some stretches, it's well within reason

1,070

(8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

http://ibdp.huluim.com/video/12816667?size=960x540

1,071

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Sure. Consider this conversation between Alice and Bob, the latter of whom has just emerged crawling from a fiery car crash only to collopse a few steps away.

Alice: Bob! Oh no! I think his heart just stopped. I'd better inject him with an unsafe amount of steroids
Bob: (wakes up): Alice! I should be dead!
Alice: I gave you a dangerous injection. You now have twenty minutes to live!
Bob: Twenty minutes!
Alice: Go to the hospital. Get help.
Bob: I gotta get back in that burning car and rescue other passengers
Alice: Are you crazy?!? I said you have twenty minutes to live!!
Bob: I will never leave my companions to die. Help me.
Alice: Yes, Bob. I will accompany you on this quest. Bob? Bob? What are you doing? Why are you sitting back down?
Bob: Alice... I wonder about my car's spedometer. Do you think it gave me an accurate representation of my speed?
Alice: Twenty minutes, Bob. You're going to die in twenty minutes.
Bob: I wonder how I can find out. What if we never learn the truth?
Alice: Look... while you get all existential, I'm going to go bake muffins.

I've added a little stress to this, but that's basically what happens. All the characters except one are acting with a high level of urgency. the one calm character (the M/C) somehow manages to cool them down to his level and even engages them on philosophical debate. What' missing in my example story is character C who will make a turnkey statement that allows Bob to change tracks .

Bob: I gotta get back in that burning car and rescue other passengers
Alice: Are you crazy?!? I said you have twenty minutes to live!!
Bob: I will never leave my companions to die. Help me.
Alice: Yes, Bob. I will accompany you on this quest.
Chris: Bob! I just ran a scan of the flight recorder. Apparently you broke the speed of sound!
Bob: What? *falls to his knees* That-- that's impossible
Alice: Bob? Bob? What are you doing? Why are you sitting back down?
Bob: Alice... I wonder about my car's spedometer. Do you think it gave me an accurate representation of my speed?

It's still a little zany with C but I hope you can see how C adjusts A's energy level.

1,072

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Ok... reviewed the section. hat I said about not having enough power to affect a direction change in time appears to stand. Should I draw out the diagrams?

1,073

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Yes... what njc said.

Your ship has 100 units of momentum. Your internal power can create 50 units per second of change in momentum. You need 110 units per second to avoid collision. It become impossible to avoid collision. Therefore, the solution is not to avoid collision but to embrace it.

*if we want to get technical, this is a rate of rate of change. Eg 50 units per second per second.

1,074

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

From the man who wrote an entire book so he could get a character pregnant and bring the child into his plot-line

Funny. But I can't tell if the book you're referring to is the Kwan/Alita/Lorraine thread or the Jenna-Inga thread or the Reiki-Catherine Starsong thread or the Kimberly-Xander Rose thread

1,075

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

haha no I mean impressed with their character development