Lynne Clark wrote:

As for the demographic of who would love it as it is? yep, you have it on the nail. 40 something women (and men for that matter) who love fantasy. It was never specifically written for the MG age group, I was just told that my writing style (and the lack of sex and violence) would make it more suitable for that age group.

Hmm if you're targeting a demographic for this reason alone, it's probably more of a hindrance than a benefit.

I tend to hover in the background and find creative ways to thin people's casts. Chapter one's are easy... have it so your group isn't assembled yet. I got my group together in chapter 14. I think Amy took an entire book to get hers assembled.

-K.

get this onto the page before the sharpness of the experience dulls

753

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Don't make me get out the cattle prod again

njc wrote:

'Unholy' is a negated word.  I don't have the thesaurus hand, but if you can find an intrinsicly negative word, it might be stronger.

And try dropping the article.


"Dire" is always fun

example:
Dire Angel
Dire Rapture

755

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Add some GRR Martin. Half the cast is dead by chapter 5

That's a longer topic... I'll try to offer something on it later tonight

I think you finally have one I can't pick apart. I mentally toyed with dropping the word unholy, but "Trinity Unleashed" is a book I'd expect to see on a bishop's desk. Thus, I believe you have it best in its current form.

The Spartan example doesn't quite match. Imagine that "The Battle of Thermopylae" was actually "The last battle of Leonitas". Not a big deal - I'd still watch a movie with a title like that. But I'd watch it with certain expectations that might rob the ending of some of its impact.

I concede lots of titles predict their endings (Death of a Salesman? Knight Fall? Empire Strikes Back?). Even Last Unicorn helps guide me to the ending where we find out she's anything but the last.

I recommend migrating away from a title containing "Satan". You might best use a temp title. I have stories I haven't chosen a title for in like 3 decades (403's title for example, for the past 4 years was "Lizzie" and before that it was 10y as "Ultimate Soldier" until I realized she was anything but.).

There is no shame in waiting until after you've written the novel to give it a title. Even then, the publisher may scrap your title, so don't marry it.

This title is better than the previous, but suggests the ending. How's about "Satan's Last"?

A trunk of cash fits in well with his character. You have this guy with a large amount of worthless valuables. And he's trying to extend it in ways that only work in a cash-based society. Clearly, someone with that kind of thinking pattern will always carry a trunk full of money.

Ginger not so easy. Why bring so much clothing on a 3-hr trip? Maybe the trip was part of a longer stay-over and she had nowhere else to store her luggage? I don't recall Maryanne dressing with much variety, but I haven't seen it since it was on the air, and back then they were probably still making Scooby Doo's, so what would I know.

Now, how exactly you get batteries to recharge using little more than coconut water and aloe leaves, that seems more absurd than a trunk of money. Or magic.

Come and knock on our door. We've been waiting for you.
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,
**** 3's company toooooo! ****

Thank me later

Requiem was better - this one sounds like the title of a gospel book from the eyes of a Harlem school teacher

The word "trinity" sounds too pretty. No matter what you stick to it, it still sounds nice.

Dark Trinity? Must be about a witches coven
Hell's Trinity? I think I saw that on a porno

instead, how's about...

"For Whom the Scripture tolls"

I put eye, because I bet blood is taken

Eye of the Antichrist
Caligo Deus
Caster of Souls / Soul Caster
Rapiemur

I'm far from an expert in Catholicism, but I do believe they teach in rapture like we do (we all have different names for it) which implies "...Christ in the flesh..." is technically implausible.

Question: How have believers reacted to the ideas for the new series so far?

Question: What is the planned release order between this and [G a l a x y T a l e s]?

How's the protagonist/s shaping up?

768

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

'twas battery-drive... 9V if I recall correctly (Because D-Cells would slip off my rigging and the 9V was squarer)... may have been one of those giant 6V. I had built a lab supply but I recall I wasn't using it for some reason - probably because the cheap potentiometer would adjust/spike wildly from just a little hand motion.

Couldn't tell you the year or the generation of transistor to save the life of me. I did own vacuum tubes but not the slightest idea how to wire them up.

The noise was a hiss. I remember you had to crank the volume in source just to hear music over the hiss. I did start soldering in there figuring there was play in the contacts of the breadboard. Then I remember switching to that other board (sorry, I don't know the name but it's really thin and the holes go all the way through and there's copper ringlets around them so you can just join things up with a dollop of solder. It was on this second board I was able to get anything more than static.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/201 … son-babies

770

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

When I was in HS I set out to build a transistor stereo amplifier for the final project in Shop class. I found some circuit patterns from who knows where, got the pats (We used to have RadioShack in this country back then) and set to work. 3 weeks and much frustration later I had built what I think is the world's first "noise-adding stereo deamplifierr". Teacher gave me an A which sorta tells you the extent of the bell curve and the calibre of the competing projects

771

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I once lost a parsnip on a bus. I've wondered all these years what the finder of said tuber thought. Like Holy Cow, it's a parsnip! Or was it more like wtf is that??

Nope you're on rule #11 and about to finish that so you can get back to writing

772

(6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

That chapter I spent the last 12 weeks working on? I've just deleted it. Better idea now. That old sh*t is dead, never coming back.

Do any of you do that?

https://www.express.co.uk/news/science/ … ars-SpaceX
He's sending his car to Mars. Can you get more epic?

You don't need to restrict yourself to making humans genderless if you don't want and/or it makes the story more difficult to write. I mean we can tell animal genders - the presence of mammary glands being the at-a-glance giveaway. Even without that, many species give away their genders readily (chickens, peacocks, swordtails, tarantulas etc).

775

(68 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

That's literally and figuratively the name. "The Shred Group". A place where reviews can be meaner than anything I've ever come up with