Got one for 403's chapter 1
726 2018-03-20 02:06:43
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
727 2018-03-18 22:47:26
Re: A different critique (34 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
So, I put the question out: would a good writer, after actually hearing the sounds of a cheetah, describe their sound as a “roar”?
Hmm... Charles Dickens spoke of the waters of Niagara as a roar. Not sure he meant feline noises, and equally unsure I can prove he was any good at his craft.
Just to keep the wheels spinning, what of the verb "padded" and in "Bob padded to the kitchen sink". Amazon forums will tell you it's a no-no, and "padded" only applies to creature with paws. Would you allow padded to be applied to humans?
728 2018-03-18 14:06:44
Re: A different critique (34 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Cheetahs make a weird snarl sound. If I read "roar of a cheetah", it's exactly this sound I would picture. Same with an elephant... "roar of an elephant" would give me images of an elephant making a loud elephant noise (eg not a lion noise). Third example: Katy Perry saying "hear me roar"... well humans aren't good at that activity but I can still visualize it.
I suppose I'm asking if the quote in OP was presented in a symbolic nature or factual?
729 2018-03-17 12:47:34
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
The syndrome... does it need a name? I hasn't had one in v2 or v3. I was wondering what leverage naming it gives you
730 2018-03-17 01:46:32
Re: etc (68 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
731 2018-03-17 00:26:32
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Actually, I'm a little curious if it needs a name. Why not just have the voices like before? Is there some advantage to framing it in this way?
732 2018-03-16 02:40:52
Re: The Sorcerer's Progress (1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
pfft dessert... you've been dating amateurs. I've had my entrée picked clean on me. It's disconcerting
733 2018-03-16 01:23:22
Re: WIP Rhiannon the Nude, Vol 2: New Fairy by Rhiannon (123 replies, posted in Close friends)
What's the current title of the book I read, aka R the Nude
734 2018-03-14 11:43:44
Re: Opening stories with prologues and dreams (20 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
After reading Nora Roberts (writing as J.D. Robb), and noticing she makes all the "mistakes,"
She's reached the mulching point where she can just release anything and it'll do okay sales or even great sales. You can tell a big writer is approaching this point when you start seeing the name in giant point and have to hunt for the title.
Usually that's my cue that they don't need my business anymore. They've made it, and I'm happy for them, but I typically pull them from my roster and add some new faces.
-K
735 2018-03-14 00:01:18
Re: WIP Rhiannon the Nude, Vol 2: New Fairy by Rhiannon (123 replies, posted in Close friends)
I will be looking for cover art. Any suggestions? There is a website where you can buy/subscribe to cover art, thus, getting around copyright restrictions, and of course, I can always hire an artist.
Interesting.
*Wanders off*
736 2018-03-13 02:25:10
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
set in AD 7329, long after Joseph and Apollo are dead.
Reminds me of 2001 Space Odyssey. I think book 3 jumps forward to like 10001AD
737 2018-03-12 00:45:49
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I agree this character is a little busy.No easy fix comes to mind tho
738 2018-03-11 20:36:47
Re: The Sorcerer's Progress (1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I don't remember what fora it was mentioned in but Eat the Rich is brilliant and majestic
739 2018-03-10 21:02:50
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
You should also uncouple this passage from the name Jesus if you can, if you want the widest market potential. Also I lived on the street near Britannia which was not far from the school of Adelaide Hoodless and Queen Mary's school. Just saying that "Britannia" only gets you a half step away from the region you might be trying to escape
740 2018-03-10 19:30:35
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
741 2018-03-10 18:34:20
Re: Day of the Dude (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
hah... I didn't want to contaminate such a beautiful quote with my ruminations.
742 2018-03-10 04:22:22
Topic: Day of the Dude (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Ethan Cohen said that if a movie like 'Fargo' can succeed, then nothing makes sense.
so you might as well make the movie you want and just hope for the best
743 2018-03-10 02:04:58
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,478 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Edit: I lied. I make tons of charts - those should count as notes. And when I'm done, I map my plot to make sure my highs & lows balance. And I make character sheets for the mains
744 2018-03-10 00:46:59
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,478 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
The notes for [J e n n a]'s story were basically 15 rows in a spreadsheet... possibly 200 words. Yet, like Amy, I had dozens of scenes mapped out in my head. One scene (her wedding) never made it in. This makes me sad because because a lot of people find creative ways to get into her cross hairs during the ceremony
745 2018-03-09 12:31:30
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I don't think I'll use the Mormons, though. Not prominent enough. And Protestants are too diverse (although that would make it easy to create a denomination that veers off course over two thousand years). Since Joseph is (currently) crown prince of his home world and is descended from Queen Elizabeth, I think I prefer the Church of England. I just need to be careful not to piss off the British by modifying their religion before Joseph turns it upside down.
Well, you're doing well if you never say which religion it grew out of. As long as you know and the reader doesn't, it'll show in your writing and there'll be no one who feels singled out.
746 2018-03-09 00:50:47
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Due to the vast amount of time between now & then, you can just make up gods for Joseph.
Example:
Perhaps the Mormons flew off and were isolated from the galaxy for 200 years. They showed back up as a cult named "The Greater Mormon Church of the Revered" and started doing door-to-door religion selling. Peopl kept calling them Mormons but they kept saying they were Greater blah blah blah. People love to shorten things, so by 500 years ago, people just called them "The Greats" or "The Greater Church"
The Greats teach there was a second ark (this guy can bear the brunt of the Moses jokes). They teach in a garden of Eden they found on their homeworld (here go the Eden jokes). They believe in 4 gods, including one called "Baba Yaga" whose "Book of Life" has chapters and verses very similar to our own and are held sacrosanct by a population grasping for meaning after a deadly virus almost wiped them out.
--End example--
If you write such a thing carefully enough and have enough religious characters to carry the reverence, then you can make it work without touching Christianity.
(Note: This advice is coming from a guy whose characters worship the stars.And I still squeezed in a concept of ghosts, ghouls, and vampires. My world left religion behind, but I'm careful to throw in the occasional old altar that people hope is good luck. When I wrote the Pearly Gates scene and the Angel of Death (Victorious Chapter 13) I carefully stepped around the word God or Heaven or Astral Travel by renaming them. I could be irreverent with Sara-Kael by getting him beaten up. No reviews came in "I really don't think you can treat an arch angel this way" or "It's unholy to climb the pearly gates")
They key element is to remember to have 80% of the cast respect it (even if they don't actively practice). This is one of the few areas that Babylon 5 dropped the ball. The Vorlons should have been much more respected once the big reveal came of what they were. When the second Kosh showed up, how come there weren't crowds of people waiting to bow? I think ir was one guy. Anyway, you need the people to get offended if Joseph says "By Baba Yaga's beard!"
747 2018-03-08 05:55:03
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Other side of the lagoon was the tng equivalent of the deflector dish. Also they were playing Voyageur w/ 7 of 9 (Read Four-oh-three) and I recall I never watched the final seasons, so I guess I better get on this before paramount goes under
748 2018-03-08 05:49:48
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I remember that episode, unfortunately
749 2018-03-07 12:55:51
Re: How to Breathe Underwater (trilogy: Lessons in Skills for Life) (197 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Of course it's confusing - you haven't found you true voice yet.
Recommend: Read the published writers you love and emulate for your first draft. Draw what you can from this site, but don't attempt to do it all.
Second-pass come back and watch yourself emulating. Ask yourself what you were really trying to say. Filter it through the eyes of your reviewers. But come back with the wisdom of the completed story and make it yours. In doing so, you will find your voice.
-K
750 2018-03-07 12:46:40
Re: Collective Nouns - Married couple. (30 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Here's some fuel on the fire...
I'm arguing with an editor who says I can't say:
They had newspaper for seating
The editor said it would have to be "newspapers". Me, foolishly thinking that newspaper could be a count noun or a non-count noun looked it up. Most people agree with me. But here
https://www.italki.com/question/273932
you can see answer two, perhaps "They had newsprint for seating" would actually be more correct.