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Not a bad guess on Pike's crime. Quite close, actually. (Claps hands in delight.)  I caught a klew!

I think I need to be more encouraging than I've been.  You've got a great story.  You (like all of us) just need to put it into words so that others can see how cool your world is.  You've made steady and upward progress with few setbacks.  I see some of the few stumbles as a communication issue.  Ex: I'm a patterner who reads people really well.  You're a patterner who looks at numbers and physics as tactile truths that show the marvel of the universe. 

Right now, you're learning a set of skills that are bigger than just writing.  In addition, you are stretching your writing skills to a whole new level.  Who has the bigger arc on their learning curve?  (Points finger at you)

So as I critique your power moments, I'm impressed that you are finally mentioning them.  There was a dearth of power moments in the first book since Merran wasn't properly trained.  As far as I'm concerned, Pike's scrying device is the first visual of what the Atlas explains in writing.  It is showing movement between worlds instead of just talking about portals or entry points.  Once again, you have a great concept.  What I'm looking for is a strong connection between Pike's scrying search and Merran seeing a physical representation/ example of everything she's ever learned.  Perhaps this would be like seeing a number puzzle in 3-D for the first time.  I'm hoping for an epiphany.

In other words, let Merran's precocious nature lead her to truths beyond just watching pictures travel past a pool of water.  This isn't about giving away clues.  This is about a sorcerer growing in a way that she never thought possible.  Make this about more than Shrogan's abuse of children.  Let her see into the nature of these multiple worlds and prelude an understanding about the Sundering. 

Give this a shot and then you'll blow me away.  See how much deeper the rabbit hole can go?

In other words, how to hit each other with sticks and cook for 150 of your closest friends over a campfire.

Went to your site and haunted it.  I see why you've been off the grid.  Ponds...house delivery...electricity...finding water...

Congratulations on your little piece of heaven!

A

Prior to 1970, there were no paramedics or EMT's.  What I've been taught in an ATLS class is that after Vietnam, (where soldiers lived through amputations, crush injuries, and multiple gunshots), doctors were appalled by the conditions and poor training of small and large city hospitals in the proper treatment of a trauma patient.  A doctor named Styner ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_K._Styner ) was involved in a plane crash and basically got such questionable care after his accident that he founded a trauma program that set the rules of standardizing care.  (out of the University of Nebraska-GO HUSKERS)  Emergency Medicine became a specialty (before that, ER's were staffed by internal medicine docs).  Trauma Surgery came into being.  EMTs and paramedics were developed. 

In other words, in the 1950s firemen responded to accidents, treated patients without training, and transported patients to local emergency rooms.  Fires are pretty rare compared to medical incidents, so they would have a system of getting the patient to care (some used the local funeral parlor because they were the only ones who had a car big enough to hold a bed in the back.)

FYI, there are two stereotypes of firemen.  The first is a overgrown boy who loves riding in the big truck with lots of lights, runs into a fire when everyone else has run out, and loves breaking things and squirting water.  They love fast boats, cars, and women.  They are hoots at parties.  They usually get roped in by a strong-willed woman who procedes to make a lot of babies and threatens to shoot off his junk if he ever cheats on her.

The second stereotype is a grumpy prick who is in firefighting because he identifies with the career and needs it for his self-image.  His goal is to do as little work as possible, while working as many hours as possible.  He has three jobs, two ex-wives, and at least four children to support.  This person is more likely to have a drinking problem, beats up on any new recruit (called probies), and insists on the your-turn/ my-turn school of work ("It isn't my turn to do the paperwork, probie.  Get that done and wash the truck after you finish.  The truck isn't my job because I'm senior to you.")

While I worked as a medic from 1988 to 1999, I worked with a lot of firemen.  Some things don't change, so I'd expect this to be constant even in 1950.

Hope this helped.

A

If one of their volunteers had army training, then they would provide much better acute care for accidents. 

Oh, I agree with C.E. Jones.  A LOT of firement still smoke and love lighting up after sucking smoke all day.

Bims,

Couple of hints. 

When posting, continue to post with points, but post to three places: at least one group (make sure this is one that doesn't use points so you aren't charged double), the TNBW Premium, and TNBW Free.  That way, if you decide to discontinue your full membership, your material will still be out there. 

Next, when reviewing someone who isn't doing the points thing, (a new writer perhaps on the free site), make sure that you don't use an inline review.  They won't be able to see it unless they pay for the membership.

Inlines are great for spelling and comments, but they don't print out if you want to save them for later revisions.  If you let your membership lapse, you won't be able to see them anymore, so realize that fact.

If you want to comment within a group, you have to be a member.  You are limited to ten (I think) when you are a premium member.  Five when you are a free member.  So if you get downgraded, you could probably join/quit the groups in order to keep your foot in the door.  I know you were really active on the forums before, so this might be something for you to consider. 

Respond to the reviews right away.  The old site used to keep the review active until you answered your reviewer with a brief comment.  Now, this disappears from your to-do prompts after the first time you look at the new critique.  If you don't respond right away (I used to leave mine a couple days so I could re-read), it is easy for forget to respond and you lose that chance to socialize/ interact. (learn from my mistakes and make new ones instead of repeating history)

Again, it's wonderful to see you back!

A

I read the earlier version of 78 before you posted the revision.  I'm on it.

Oh, now isn't this a hoot.  Miss Betty isn't dying and bleeding on the floor!  I love this flip/ turnaround in the plot where nothing is what it seems!  (I couldn't do this by myself if I tried, BTW.  Don't know about you ladies, but I'm coming up with a lot of new rules on how to write a riveting plotline here.)

Oh, and I love the idea of solving this mystery in the building instead of taking it to Manor Oaks.

You think that Solace might be released at the same time as Tazar?  Interesting.  Give me a bit of time to think about that.  It would be ironic if his release price could be met by having certain people empty their pockets.  Something paltry like 50 gold might be enough to get him out of the prison.  No one values his life much, so the amount wouldn't be much.  Just too much for the prisoner to meet himself. 

Hmmm. 

A

You gals are too much fun!  This is why I love to write.  Coming up with story on the fly is a hoot.  Putting a time limit on the work is a great idea.  That way, it isn't a chore requiring major time or effort.  Let's see what I can accomplish in the next 15 minutes!

I have 15 minutes to write.  Lets see what I can come up with.

Luz sidled up to Ledbetter and he backed away, disliking that she had the upper hand. He put on his I-am-no-fun face to make a point. "Explain yourself or I'll have to take you to the precinct for questioning.  A man is dead in that alley.  A letter in his jacket was addressed to this apartment.  He carried identification that called him Peter Dick.  Why are you asking what body we found?"

Luz popped her gum back into her mouth.  If her makeup weren't so heavy and the bleach hadn't stripped all color from her hair, Ledbetter might have called her pretty.  "This is kind of complicated.  You care to sit down, detective?"

Ledbetter leaned against a wall, refusing to let her direct traffic in this conversation any longer.  "I'll stand.  Thank you."

Luz settled into the davenport, kicking off her shoes with a sigh of relief.  She started examining her bangs, separating the hairs one-by-one.  "Here's the skinny.  I just deliver the mail to whoever is Peter Dick for that day.  They show up, I give them their letter, and Mrs. Dick has a grand time playing house with the newest toy on her roster."

Ledbetter fought not to blush.  "So you're saying that the name isn't accurate?"

She popped her blue gum again, licking the gum from bright red lips.  "I'm saying I haven't a clue what this Peter's real name is.  I'm just the mailman."  She wiggled her toes, admiring the painted nails that matched her lipstick.  "If you want anything else, then you need to talk to the Missus."

"And she is in Manor Oaks?"

"Isn't that what I said?"

(Time is running out.  I'll add more later)