I've just passed my 2 year mark of being in TNBW. (Woohoo!) However, I went to renew and am now in the 30 day trial membership. I'd like to just pay and get it over with, but the site doesn't allow me that option until the end of my trial period. Not that I mind, but you should have the option of taking my money at any time.
Just sayin :-)
Go Janet! Go Janet!
If you're going to Washington State, consider going to the Edgewater Hotel in Seattle. Oh...my...god...the...food! Post a picture to make me jealous! It's the only hotel on the ocean in the entire city, so it's pretty hard to miss.
Curious, how do you power your laptop or whatever device it is you use to write .... Or are you guys cheating and have all the luxuries of the 21st century still?
We don't have power in our camp (Though some camps do). We're hypocrites. We avoid the plague, hygiene, and sewage issues in favor of comfort, hand sanitizer and portapotties. However, several people in my camp have solar panels for charging their phones. For larger electronics, you can charge them for free if you volunteer at the information desk. There are a variety of other options. Since I rarely have time to write while I'm there, I usually just bring a notebook and a pencil, write a few pages and then copy them down when I get home. The whole war lasts 2 weeks, so it is kind of a vacation from everything (including computers) for me.
Janet...
DOES THIS MEAN YOU GOT THE JOB? Huge news girl! Share!
They grow there and pop up from the ground whenever the plot calls.
You're invited to dinner whenever you show up. Would love to talk shop and writing around a campfire! We'll see if we can get K to get a passport and get across the border. Unlikely, but maybe if there is free food...
Owe you! I think that I might have some time for Hungarian pastry tonight. Yum!
I think I can translate Bimmy into Janet-ese.
If you start the beginning of the story with C in her hold and being notified of the news of her brother, then you have 'placed' her in context. The character probably runs to her horse and starts to ride right after the news. Lotsa drama in this moment.
Potential beginning chapter: what does the hold look like? Is C doing the books and wondering how she is going to pay her brother's latest debt? She gets the horse saddled without the staff realizing (this is night and you mention raiders...she wouldn't normally go out alone onto the moor, would she?) and orders the gate guard to open whatever opening there is in the wall...she rides out... Does a servant see and try to stop her? What kind of guards does she avoid? She rides out into the dark to save her brother from making the biggest mistake of his life and ruining them both.
Cut to M. He rides with his men, responding to the warning of an upcoming attack. He would be assessing the men and how they've responded in the past to a fight (again, mention the raiders because this is his main experience with combat). He would think they wouldn't have bows, perhaps, making him more willing to ride into dangerous areas than he would otherwise. He would be thinking of the layout of the endangered hamlet, as well as the amount of people/ children there. He would be scanning the sky for signs of fire lighting the underside of the clouds. He would be pacing the horses so they wouldn't tire when his men approached the town. He would be scanning the ground for tripwires on the road...this would a certain way to bring down his men in an easy pile. Then he hears the scream as C is shot. On alert, he rides closer.
Does this help?
Don't worry about K and his spreadsheets. Just keep writing. The spreadsheets are awesome to look at. When he pulls them out, it's usually to make a point. Wait till you see his drawings. They're even better.
A
Too many personalities makes for a complicated plot. I imagine that K is the type of person who only cooks dishes with three or more ingredients for simplicity (water is an ingredient, btw.)
(Kiss)
Janet,
Go to pennsic.net. They have a photo album that I use to show people what the pennsic war is like. And you are totally invited! Are you kidding? Everybody who ever reviewed me is invited. My dream is to make a feast for my friends (they get to help cook it, BTW). We'll have a camel stuffed with goat/ rice/ stuffed with chickens and rice. It serves at least 300 and takes about three days to cook. One of my friends found the recipe. There will also be a lot of other non-meat options. Some day... Well, everybody needs to have a dream.
The group I camp with is an eating household. (As opposed to service, crafting, or fighting households) We have a bread oven made of ceramic bricks and stuffed with mud to insulate. We can bake pizza, bread and cookies in addition to the typical stews you make with dutch ovens. It isn't one of the pretty camps that you'll see in the pictures, but you can't beat dinner :-)
I like the idea of midwife. Didn't the female head of household used to help deliver children? It would be a great way to stay familiar with your subjects and foster a bond...
Just thinking...
He likes killing off characters. That way, they don't complicate his plot. Truth.
I've updated the story. It won't let me rename, so it is posted under, 'I Yell A Lot.' Thanks for understanding!
Still thinking. I'm determined to add more to the story. Talk soon?
A
Not a problem. Good luck with the contest!
If the grass is matted to the ground or isn't growing well because it was in the shade of the tree, then I could see that the footprints would be hard to see. I think it is whatever you need to make happen in the story that determines if the footprints are there.
A
If the grass is frosted, absolutely yes. The footprints would leave a trail through the undisturbed blades of grass and be crushed where the person ran away after the limb broke.
Wilma Bailey gave me a great review. "I Yell A Lot" is still rough around the edges and needs a lot of polish. She gave me some good ideas and I'm going to try to work on this tonight. Can I ask you to wait for the second version? It will appear as 'Venturing Out' instead of the previous title.
I'll try to post by mid-day on Sunday. Thanks for your support, Michelle. I haven't forgotten that I need to recip. When I'm at work, I don't get much free time and days off mean the kids always want a piece of me. I'll remember to flip to your side of the website...
Talk soon!
A
Back of the upper arm then. I'd prefer to me that you don't put it through the biceps because the axillary artery runs along there. If you decide to use the biceps, then just say that the artery didn't get hit when they remove the shaft of the arrow.
Biceps = pain when bending the elbow
Triceps (back of arm) = pain when extending the elbow
The bleeding might not be so bad once the arrow is pulled (some bleeding but not a lot) if it didn't hit the artery.
You could certainly wrap up C and have her relax in Matthew's arms. Once her arm is wrapped (and she is sitting up so the swelling is less), she could relax because the pain is less and go to sleep.
Oh, it is better to leave the wound open and not suture because if the wound gets infected, it will drain out rather than cook bacteria under the skin.
Let me know what I can do to help.
(Whew...) I got slammed at work and was wincing at completing my promise to add another blurb to the story. JP, I plan to finish this mystery. If you're with me, I'll try to wrap this up. Or at least put a bow on the story so there is more of a resolution. This has been great fun and I don't want to leave the job hanging.
I'll try to add my blurb tomorrow. I'm just too tired to accomplish much today.
A
You, you instigator!
The piece is called 'I Yell A Lot'
A
One more short story on the website. Blame Michelle. It's her fault:-)
I posted another short story about my son. Low effort and only one page long. Any thoughts?
