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Dirk, I've been planning to glut you with reviews, so you'd better behave. Otherwise, Bad Amy will get all truthful and smack you back :-)

Yes. I liked the kids. Their refusal to answer made sense to me. I think Shograns hallucinations would have rattled them more, though.

Ironic that Merran is so protective. I mean, can't kids just survive on their own? That was what Melayne expected of Pengrit, after all...

(I will stop beating that dead horse. Sorry. That was Bad Amy talking) Bad Amy!

Cut is meant to replace the other words.

Why do I persist in wanting fireworks when describing power? Let me return with another question. Why do you write about a fantasy world and not describe power? 

Here's the thing. I get that you are a minimalist, picking and selecting words with incredible care. However, from my perspective, you are losing a chance to communicate. Each time the magic changes (Merran to Melayne to Pike) and each time the situation changes (new spells, shapeshifters, sorcery used in combat), the rules are different. Therefore, a single explanation about what Air looks like isn't adequate. Because you've changed the rules.

This is very much an area that you 'see' the magic and I don't because I'm on the other side of the page.

I'd like to point out that in my story, both Dirk and K were drawn to the big power scenes where Sil casts the plague and the flood. Big power moments, rather than character development. They define the outside of the box, letting the reader know how extreme the power curve can get.

So humor me, would you? Write in some power moments here. This combat is the first time that Merran has gone against multiple opponents. Therefore, the rules have changed.

A

I don't need praise. It breeds confidence and security. Two things that I completely fear. But thanks anyway. Each rewrite is getting better…I'll admit that much.

Sigh. I just realized that if I want to keep Melody and Drezdorf in the series, then they need their own book. All of the other Wolves are getting major screen time and character work. If I don't do the same for the last two Wovles, then I need to delete their characters.

I was thinking about the focus. It would have to be about the non-humans. Elves and dwarves, rather than the human interactions that have been present so far. It would let me use the short story about Ia (I may change that to Ea so that it gets pronounced right).  I could also use the story where Melody goes to the elven city.

So anyway, I'm still debating another book, but the idea is growing on me.

Wait, 'might' be?  Oh, them's fighting words :-)

You've established that this is a faire, with food being served. Why would the nobility pay for a feast after everyone has eaten? And why are commoners eating a feast on the green? Are Aiden and Norwood footing the bill? Isn't that money better spent on the church roof?

That said, it is appropriate for a dinner after the games are over. It thanks the noble visitors for their time.

K wafts in and out. These days, I think he is wafting the other way than where we are going.

I'm working on the revisions and thinking out the next scene/conversations. Get your own work done. I'll be hanging out here, trying to absorb the collective wisdom.

Janet, I'm going through the reviews and glutting on revisions, applying the advice people have given me. Something I've never said to you…you are AMAZING at finding things that are missing… conjunctions like and and missing verbs…holy crap!  You found at least 10 on a chapter. Sometimes it is harder to see what is missing than what is there. Good job!

A

Dirk,

Jaylene is mentioned in Mandates, but only in passing. Airen gets a note from her mom saying that Jaylene is alive and well. This is further in the book than you've read so far.

The books all stand alone. (Except for the fourth, where I will combine characters).  All of them follow the Wolves as they slowly reunite. Jaylene+Tazar=Dictates. Airen+Kha=Mandates, Anver+Katerin=Acts.

Drezdorf will come back in Mantle, and I'll likely bring back Melody as well in the same book. Or I may give them a stand-alone book to develop the characters. Not sure. Mantle is where the band gets back together and gets to raise some hell.

Elisheva, go to bed :-)

Here is another attempt for Dictates.

In Dictates of Faith, Jaylene comes back from the dead, a sure sign that the goddess needs her. But for what? The same day, someone tries to kill her. But who? As the plot is revealed, she will need the help of a friend to unravel  the answers. They journey into a series of underground caves…where magic is real and even the gods are in danger.

Still boring?