Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I've made a lot of suggestions. Which one?
Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → The Sorcerer's Progress
What happened then, well that's the Play ...
It looks like the timelines may let me use Kirsey's visit to the library in this book. Ah, I'll have to see. It may depend on a horseshoes tournament.
Okay, got what MIGHT be a workable battle progression. I'll see after about ten hours of recuperative sleep.
I also have another half-dozen plot notes for the future. What I mean to do to good people will give me nightmares. But bad guys must have consequences. (Amy, I'm considering one of your suggestions.)
Good intentions without the direction of Practical Wisdom also have consequences.
Amy is also on my case to hurt my characters more, so I'm so with you!
And K. isn't happy if your protagonist isn't the last man standing.
And K. isn't happy if your protagonist isn't the last man standing.
K is more murdering than hurting though! LOL
Yes, well, I'm no mercy killer. (Hey, where's the leering emoticon?)
I occasionally kill my main characters only to show later why they're still alive. K prefers actually killing his characters only to resurrect them later, no matter how mangled they were. K i m b e r l y R o s e got nuked and was still able to give birth to a live baby.
Okay, I have a not-quite first draft, with some edits noted where I missed points from the outline. I have a couple of scenes to merge, and I have to attach it to and edit it with the first part of the chapter.
Merran will be driven to study how to fight Shogran's creatures--and she'll regret that after her next encounter with Shogran--who will have buried some of these details in defensive amnesia. (It will take well over a week to get him healthy again.)
Feel free to hurt the characters. Happy people are boring.
I owe you a Girl Genius link for that.
http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20130114
The battle-for-Shogran/Rescue-the-children chapter is coming along. I should have the last blocks into place in a few more hours, but there will be at least a day of polishing, maybe more. I'll probably put it up before I'm completely happy with it.
It'll probably be about 4,200 words.
Finding more inconsistencies in the blocks than I thought. We'll see. I'll get back to work in about 150 minutes.
Okay, everything is in the right place, or nearly. It needs another big edit pass. Right now it's around 4,400 words, and it's likely to stay in that ballpark. Some parts are near ready, but the places I've been splicing and dicing need serious editing. One more pass, maybe, and you can tell me if it's any good.
Summary: Merran and Jamen go to get the orphans--Shogran's Waifs--just as Shogran's rescue cavalry arrives on the scene.
Have I missed anything in the mean time?! Do you know? It's hard to keep up with those that post randomly ...
Well, you can click on the little rectangular 'Find More Books' block to scan backward. And you're perfectly welcome to find something you haven't read/reviewed. (Did you do B1 Ch 40 & 42, or Ch 35 & 35, or Ch 64?)
But for now I need to clarify the battle a little. It's not that complicated, it really isn't ... but I keep writing it that way. (Amy, I grant you four minutes of snickering and another two of sniggering. Then back to work! )
Well, you can click on the little rectangular 'Find More Books' block to scan backward. And you're perfectly welcome to find something you haven't read/reviewed. (Did you do B1 Ch 40 & 42, or Ch 35 & 35, or Ch 64?)
But for now I need to clarify the battle a little. It's not that complicated, it really isn't ... but I keep writing it that way. (Amy, I grant you four minutes of snickering and another two of sniggering. Then back to work!
)
Random reviews coming your way then!
I've got the next chapter done for Dictates. Then I'm going to catch up on reviews. I think the review collector is going to foreclose neon the site if I don't get hopping...
(Preparing to snigger)
Okay, B2Ch7(provisional) is now up: Shogran and the Children. You may fire when ready!
I've a got two potloads of reviews to catch up on and a good load besides.
And I see errors that slipped in! Okay, unless you're really hungry for something to review wait until about 23:00 Eastern time (Tuesday 04:00 Zulu time).
Edit: Changes made. Total about 4,500 words. Go ahead.
Edit: Title changed to Shogran's Waifs .
Cut is meant to replace the other words.
Why do I persist in wanting fireworks when describing power? Let me return with another question. Why do you write about a fantasy world and not describe power?
Here's the thing. I get that you are a minimalist, picking and selecting words with incredible care. However, from my perspective, you are losing a chance to communicate. Each time the magic changes (Merran to Melayne to Pike) and each time the situation changes (new spells, shapeshifters, sorcery used in combat), the rules are different. Therefore, a single explanation about what Air looks like isn't adequate. Because you've changed the rules.
This is very much an area that you 'see' the magic and I don't because I'm on the other side of the page.
I'd like to point out that in my story, both Dirk and K were drawn to the big power scenes where Sil casts the plague and the flood. Big power moments, rather than character development. They define the outside of the box, letting the reader know how extreme the power curve can get.
So humor me, would you? Write in some power moments here. This combat is the first time that Merran has gone against multiple opponents. Therefore, the rules have changed.
A
Yes, and that's the remarkable part--that Merran can fight in counterpoint. And when I liken it, during a catch-your-breath moment, to her early training with her father, to something she reverted to in B1Ch1, it's an irrelevant distraction. Instead, simple levitation should set off fireworks that aren't there and elicit a cosmic rimshot.
That Merran survives a Home Alone battle, and how, with such limited tools isn't astonishing in itself?
Clearly the padawan has much to learn ...
you did a good job of making me believe that Merran was at risk. That was the good part. I'll come up with an analogy to better explain when I have a free moment. Gotta go back to the coal mines...
Were the kids credible?
There really are a lot of moving parts in that chapter.
Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → The Sorcerer's Progress