776

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I've made a lot of suggestions. Which one?

777

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

What happened then, well that's the Play ...

https://youtu.be/QAWWiYy_frY

778

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

It looks like the timelines may let me use Kirsey's visit to the library in this book.  Ah, I'll have to see.  It may depend on a horseshoes tournament.

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

njc wrote:

Okay, got what MIGHT be a workable battle progression.  I'll see after about ten hours of recuperative sleep.

I also have another half-dozen plot notes for the future.  What I mean to do to good people will give me nightmares.  But bad guys must have consequences.  (Amy, I'm considering one of your suggestions.)

Good intentions without the direction of Practical Wisdom also have consequences.

Amy is also on my case to hurt my characters more, so I'm so with you! smile

780

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

And K. isn't happy if your protagonist isn't the last man standing.

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

njc wrote:

And K. isn't happy if your protagonist isn't the last man standing.

K is more murdering than hurting though! LOL

782

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Yes, well, I'm no mercy killer.  (Hey, where's the leering emoticon?)

783 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-02-29 04:02:29)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I occasionally kill my main characters only to show later why they're still alive. K prefers actually killing his characters only to resurrect them later, no matter how mangled they were. K i m b e r l y  R o s e got nuked and was still able to give birth to a live baby.

784

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I owe you a Girl Genius link for that.

785

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Okay, I have a not-quite first draft, with some edits noted where I missed points from the outline.  I have a couple of scenes to merge, and I have to attach it to and edit it with the first part of the chapter.

Merran will be driven to study how to fight Shogran's creatures--and she'll regret that after her next encounter with Shogran--who will have buried some of these details in defensive amnesia.  (It will take well over a week to get him healthy again.)

786

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Feel free to hurt the characters. Happy people are boring.

787

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

njc wrote:

I owe you a Girl Genius link for that.

http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20130114

http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20100920

http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20101122

788

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

The battle-for-Shogran/Rescue-the-children chapter is coming along.  I should have the last blocks into place in a few more hours, but there will be at least a day of polishing, maybe more.  I'll probably put it up before I'm completely happy with it.
It'll probably be about 4,200 words.

789

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Finding more inconsistencies in the blocks than I thought.  We'll see.  I'll get back to work in about 150 minutes.

790 (edited by njc 2016-03-05 05:01:59)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Okay, everything is in the right place, or nearly.  It needs another big edit pass.  Right now it's around 4,400 words, and it's likely to stay in that ballpark.  Some parts are near ready, but the places I've been splicing and dicing need serious editing.  One more pass, maybe, and you can tell me if it's any good.

Summary: Merran and Jamen go to get the orphans--Shogran's Waifs--just as Shogran's rescue cavalry arrives on the scene.

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Have I missed anything in the mean time?! Do you know? It's hard to keep up with those that post randomly ... smile

792 (edited by njc 2016-03-05 22:35:40)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Well, you can click on the little rectangular 'Find More Books' block to scan backward.  And you're perfectly welcome to find something you haven't read/reviewed.  (Did you do B1 Ch 40 & 42, or Ch 35 & 35, or Ch 64?)

But for now I need to clarify the battle a little.  It's not that complicated, it really isn't ... but I keep writing it that way.  (Amy, I grant you four minutes of snickering and another two of sniggering.  Then back to work! smile)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

njc wrote:

Well, you can click on the little rectangular 'Find More Books' block to scan backward.  And you're perfectly welcome to find something you haven't read/reviewed.  (Did you do B1 Ch 40 & 42, or Ch 35 & 35, or Ch 64?)

But for now I need to clarify the battle a little.  It's not that complicated, it really isn't ... but I keep writing it that way.  (Amy, I grant you four minutes of snickering and another two of sniggering.  Then back to work! smile)

Random reviews coming your way then! smile

794

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

I've got the next chapter done for Dictates. Then I'm going to catch up on reviews. I think the review collector is going to foreclose neon the site if I don't get hopping...

(Preparing to snigger)

795

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Okay, B2Ch7(provisional) is now up: Shogran and the Children.  You may fire when ready!
I've a got two potloads of reviews to catch up on and a good load besides.

796 (edited by njc 2016-03-08 12:27:13)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

And I see errors that slipped in!  Okay, unless you're really hungry for something to review wait until about 23:00 Eastern time (Tuesday  04:00 Zulu time).

Edit: Changes made.  Total about 4,500 words.  Go ahead.

Edit: Title changed to Shogran's Waifs .

797

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Cut is meant to replace the other words.

Why do I persist in wanting fireworks when describing power? Let me return with another question. Why do you write about a fantasy world and not describe power? 

Here's the thing. I get that you are a minimalist, picking and selecting words with incredible care. However, from my perspective, you are losing a chance to communicate. Each time the magic changes (Merran to Melayne to Pike) and each time the situation changes (new spells, shapeshifters, sorcery used in combat), the rules are different. Therefore, a single explanation about what Air looks like isn't adequate. Because you've changed the rules.

This is very much an area that you 'see' the magic and I don't because I'm on the other side of the page.

I'd like to point out that in my story, both Dirk and K were drawn to the big power scenes where Sil casts the plague and the flood. Big power moments, rather than character development. They define the outside of the box, letting the reader know how extreme the power curve can get.

So humor me, would you? Write in some power moments here. This combat is the first time that Merran has gone against multiple opponents. Therefore, the rules have changed.

A

798 (edited by njc 2016-03-08 16:04:59)

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Yes, and that's the remarkable part--that Merran can fight in counterpoint.  And when I liken it, during a catch-your-breath moment, to her early training with her father, to something she reverted to in B1Ch1,  it's an irrelevant distraction.  Instead, simple levitation should set off fireworks that aren't there and elicit a cosmic rimshot.

That Merran survives a Home Alone battle, and how, with such limited tools isn't astonishing in itself?

Clearly the padawan has much to learn ...

799

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

you did a good job of making me believe that Merran was at risk. That was the good part. I'll come up with an analogy to better explain when I have a free moment. Gotta go back to the coal mines...

800

Re: The Sorcerer's Progress

Were  the kids credible?

There really are a lot of moving parts in that chapter.