Book by: R. M. Keegan
Genre: Fantasy
Chapter One
The black robed rider passed through the gates of the Dark Tower and dismounted in the courtyard. Striding up the steps and into the great hall, he brushed the dust of his ride from his robe with his large brimmed hat. As usual the Master was not in the hall, but a manservant, dressed entirely in black, stood at the base of the grand stairs. “This way Milord. The Master awaits.” The servant turned and climbed the stairs with a slight limp.
Brother Fulradt ignored his exhaustion and followed the Master’s steward. On the second level they entered a doorway which led up a narrow stairs to the top of the tower. Only two torches, one at the bottom and another at the top, lighted the way. He was sure he heard small feet scurrying in the darkness midway to the top and felt relief when he reached the lighted area again.
The Master’s laboratory had three windows, but it was late afternoon and the room was dark. A workbench stood against the wall. In the center a small flame heated a beaker on a brass stand which cast shadows. For a moment Fulradt thought the room empty, then the Master stepped out of the shadows. “My plan is moving forward as I expected. It is now time for you to leave with the vials of the sickness I’ve prepared.”
Dressed in a black robe with his face hidden within his cowl, the Master was a shadow figure as he moved across the room to the workbench and lifted the beaker to examine its contents. “I had to modify one element of the plan. An old enemy has reappeared to mettle in my affairs, so the brothers who were assigned one critical task are otherwise occupied.
The Master turned to face Brother Fulradt. “There is a prisoner in the dungeon who must arrive in Ellisland alive and in relative health at a key moment.” The master stepped closer and seemed to tower over the Brother. “I must entrust him to you. Pick your best brother and a few trusted men to guard him.”
“Yes, Master. Where will I find this prisoner?”
The Master turned back to the bench and set the beaker on the flame. “Here, in my dungeon. Keep him aboard a ship in the fleet until the time is right. Take no risks with him. It is crucial that he’s alive and aboard the flagship when we began our attack.”
“Yes, Master. Who is he?”
“Never mind who he is.” The Shadow seemed to stare into the beaker. “Neither you nor your men will speak to him or him to you. If he tries, gag him. He has a—certain way with words.” The Master’s hand and arm waved slowly. “He can be most gently persuasive to even the most dedicated brother. His tongue almost freed him and cost a brother and two guards their lives.”
The light from two homemade clay oil lamps flickered over Gamaliel, son of Hillel, as he lay prostrate in prayer at the back of his cave. His long, unkempt, gray hair and beard rested in the dirt as he beseeched his god to remove the illness afflicting the capital city far from his mountain retreat. But while God had shown him the sickness in a vision, He had not yet answered Gamaliel’s prayers for the removal of the pestilence.
As the old man prayed, the image of a young rider on a galloping horse formed in his mind. The shield slung over the rider’s back bore the colors of the Elect. A moment later he envisioned a wolf prowling around a campfire.
The wolf, an opportunist, would take what prey it could. The rider was in danger. Gamaliel rose to his feet despite his sixty winters and brushed off his gray homespun robe. The dark presence he had sensed still lurked at the crossroad where the trail leading to his cave met the road between the Freemen’s capital, Bar Krouth, and the land of Mercia. Snatching his walking stick, he strode from the cave into the bright sunlight and hurried down the steep mountain trail toward the crossroad half a league away.
The narrow path wandered through the rocky hills and ravines to the base of the mountain and the heat of the summer sun on his heavy wool robe soon had Gamaliel sweating. “Lord,” he prayed softly, “if it be my pride, and not your power, which sends me into danger, I pray a true prophet warn the people. It is not their sin that I am a weak and flawed vessel.”
As his path wound down the mountainside, he caught glimpses of the trees at the crossroads but did not see anyone. However, the sense of evil lurking in the stand of oaks was strong. A dark presence waited there, and it would not be long before the young messenger arrived. At least if I fall, he thought, the dark one has no reason to harm the lad. But reason is never strong in those of the dark. “Protect the lad, Lord, I beseech You. Turn the Dark One from violence.”
He pushed aside a large bush to reveal the road and the woods on the other side. He stepped onto the road. “Why hide yourself in the shadows on such a sunny day? The light will do you no harm.”
A horse’s hooves echoed before the horse and rider emerged from the darkness beneath the trees. “It’s cooler in the shade.” The rider was a middle-aged man dressed as a Mercian trader in dark brown wool pantaloons and knee-high black leather boots. His matching long, split-tailed coat revealed the sword at his side. His broad-brimmed hat sat at an angle and partly concealed a face covered in a neatly trimmed beard. “I’m but a simple merchant from Mercia resting on my way to Bar Krouth.”
“I know who you are. Just as I know what you wish to keep from me. Darkness has loosed a sickness among my people and a messenger comes to summon me to the council.”
“So, you’re intuitive, Gamaliel.” The rider’s horse continued toward the old man. “You would have been wiser to avoid rather than confront me.” His right hand pulled a wand with a crystal mounted at the base from his sleeve and pointed the gold tip at the old man.
“I do not fear you or your master, servant of darkness.” Gamaliel stood still and looked into the man’s eyes. “I fear only God.”
Lightning flew from the end of the dark wizard’s wand but didn’t touch the old man. Instead, a pale-blue light surrounded him so that he was bathed harmlessly in the lightning of the curse.
Gamaliel felt the spirit touch him and cried out, “Behold the power of God. You have no dominion over His servants. He only has dominion over all that is.”
The wizard’s horse reared up, nearly throwing the rider. The old man cried, “Go, while you yet live. Tell your dark master that the Lord, God of Freemen, sayeth, ‘Behold your doom, for the Child of Derision cometh as surely as day follows night. Though victory seems at hand, your host will be broken and all your domain cast down.”
The wizard’s horse bolted west on the road toward Mercia while its rider fought for control. The old man watched until the horse and rider were out of sight, then turned east, and walked in the direction of the messenger. “Forgive me Lord,” he prayed softly, “for enjoying his distress. The victory was Yours, not mine.”
He had traveled no more than ten minutes when the youth galloped toward him dressed in the tabard of the Elect. The rider dismounted as his horse was coming to a stop and went to his knee in front of the prophet. “Hail, Gamaliel, Prophet of the Lord, the Elect begs you attend his council in Bar Krouth.”
“Kneel only to God.” Gamaliel gripped the young man’s shoulder and pulled him to his feet. “And don’t praise the harp for the music of the poet, ‘tis but an instrument.” He shook his head sadly at the look of reverence on the boy’s face. “Ride back to the city and tell the Elect that The Lord of All has told me of the sickness and I am on my way.”
****
Benami, son of Tomer, Elect of the Freemen, squirmed in his chair. Tall and slender, his black, tightly woven woolen trousers and jacket were too tight in his opinion, and the neck ruffle on his starched white shirt itched. For the thousandth time he wondered why he let his wife select his clothing. Out loud, he wondered, “When will Gamaliel get here? He was reported in the city half an hour ago.” He rose and strode to the large window of the council room.
Behind him, Rachamim, the heavyset, old high priest, his formal robes overflowing the end chair, said, “Peace, Elect.” The old man looked over his shoulder and stroked his long, untrimmed white beard. “You know he walked the whole way. It’ll take him some time to walk this last short distance.”
“Why can’t he ride in a coach like a civilized man?” He turned back to the room. “People are dying.”
“He will be here in his own time.” Rachamim adjusted himself in his seat. “It doesn’t matter to him that people die. All men die. To him, all that is important is whether they lived a just life in the eyes of God.”
“Well, I have to be concerned about whether people live or die. As Elect I’m responsible to God for the people. How can I know what God wants me to do if His voice in this world isn’t here to tell me?”
Rachamim stood and turned to the Elect. “God doesn’t want you to rely on what Gamaliel says for your decisions. You should know the right thing to do yourself. Prophets are sent to bring us back to righteousness when we stray, not to make our decisions for us.”
Benami rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Do you think I don’t know that?” He glanced at the six merchants seated three to a side at the long council table. “It’s just that,” his voice softened, “what I think I should do touches on the Laws of Doron.”
A loud knocking on the door pulled Benami’s eyes to the source. “Enter.” His voice louder than he intended.
The door opened and the captain of the guard stepped into the room. “The prophet Gamaliel has arrived.” He quickly stepped aside. The old man walked into the room still dressed in his trail-dirty gray robe and sandals. He stopped in front of the council table and bowed his head slightly. “You have asked me to come. I am here. What would you have of me?”
Benami strode around the table to put his hands on the old man’s shoulders. “The will of God in this matter of the sickness. What should I do?”
Gamaliel looked up slowly. “Love God above all else, and love others as you love yourself. That is the will of God.”
“Gamaliel.” The Elect’s voice shook. “Don’t riddle me. I need your wisdom, now more than ever. People are dying. Little children are dying.” His head drooped. “And there is nothing I can do to stop it.”
“When there is that which he cannot do alone, the wise man calls forth his allies and says, ‘I have aided you in your time of need. Aid me in mine.’” Gamaliel, still holding his walking stick in one hand, brought both hands up and placed them on the Elect’s shoulders. “There is righteousness and wisdom beyond the Freeholds if you know where to look.” When Benami looked up, Gamaliel added, “Send to him and say, ‘The Lord sayeth you have been tested and not found wanting. As you have aided those of Cymru, so will you be aided in your time of need. Fear not to send forth from your house the aid My people need.’”
Relief washed over Benami as he dropped his arms and whispered, “So sayeth the Lord, God.”
“No,” Gamaliel replied as he lowered his own arms. “So sayeth Gamaliel, son of Hillel. If I speak truth, it is because God has guided my tongue. If I prove wrong, it is not the Lord’s fault that I am an imperfect vessel.”
Benami smiled slightly. “You’ve never spoken falsely, son of Hillel.” He took a deep breath. “What should I tell the people?”
“Remind the people that it has been too long since they remembered Halone the Sorcerer, who freed Doron from his prison when he was sentenced to death, and later died to protect him in his exile.”
Benami nodded his head and took a deep breath. This problem resolved for the moment, the image of Shachar’s smiling face standing at the bow of his ship the day he sailed filled his mind. He whispered, “Do you have any other hope for me?”
The old man shook his head. “The dead remain dead and the lost remain lost, but I have felt no need to pray peace upon the soul of your son. Hold tight to the mercy of God and continue to pray that the lost shall not remain lost.” Gamaliel put his free hand on the Elect’s shoulder. “I must go among the people and urge them to pray this plague is lifted from us.” He turned and walked out of the room.
When the door closed, Benami turned and walked slowly back to his seat at the table as the loss of his firstborn son subsided to its normal ache in his heart.
“As cryptic as ever.” Matan, a well-dressed, heavyset old merchant with a large fleet shook his head. “So, what did he mean this time?”
Benami dropped into his chair at the head of the table and looked first to the three merchants on the right, then to those on the left. “This sickness has been a matter for the city so far. So the representatives of the freeholds have not been asked to attend this council.” His gaze centered on the high priest. “But the solution involves the meaning of the Laws of Doran. If the city is not with me, what hope do I have of convincing the farmers that I’m right to do what must be done?”
Rachamim cocked one eye toward him, and Benami was sure the old priest suspected why he had called the prophet. After a few seconds the priest turned quickly to the door, then back to him. “You plan to bring a wizard into the land, to walk among the people of God, and Gamaliel has agreed.” He came to his feet. “The temple will have no part in this.”
“Sit down, Rachamim,” Benami snapped. “This is no time for one of your holier-than-thou speeches. Have you forgotten the pestilence arrived first on temple ships?”
“Thou shall not touch a stone of power. They are tools of slavery!”
“I know the law.” Benami waved his hand at the old priest. “I’m not asking you to touch one.” He shook his head. “None of the people will touch the stone. It will simply be within our borders for an extended period of time.”
One of the merchant princes of Bar Krouth leaned forward. “You seriously plan to bring a wizard into the Freeholds? The people will revolt.”
“No,” Benami snapped. Then he waved his hands in front of him. “I mean to bring in a foreign dru—who also happens to be a wizard. She carries a healing stone of great power. Even King Garthen sent for her when his queen was ill and dying, but she arrived too late.”
Matan looked at the door, then back to the Elect. “And Gamaliel said it was allowed?”
“Yes. Did you not hear him say he would remind the people that Halone the Sorcerer followed Doron? Neither Halone nor his stone of power were evil. God told Doran to forbid the people from holding stones of power because they were instruments of our slavery, not because they were evil. Did not wizards join us in our fight for freedom? Did not even many of the Old Ones renounce their false gods and join us in the war?”
Benami stood and walked slowly around the table. “We are the people God chose to set free, so that we could show all men the way to freedom. We live apart because we must keep His laws pure, not because we are better than other men.” He stopped and put both hands on the back of a chair and looked into the face of the merchant, who turned to look up at him. “Do not the Doonnaugh Clan of the Garruth still wear the armor we gave them to fight in? Does not King Garthen of Anglia still respect the rights of our merchants in his lands, as did his predecessors in the Confederation of Clans before him?” He walked along the table until he stood in front of the high priest. “Do not the Hawklanders move freely among us, as we do among them, despite their adherence to the gods of the Old Ones? We are free because they stood and bled with us against the Mercians. We are as brothers.”
Rachamim nodded. “And is it to King Ragnon of Hawkland you intend to appeal? It is said that his daughter is both beautiful and the bearer of a stone of power.”
“So it is said.” Benami nodded and then looked out the window. “And I have reason to believe both are true.”
Rachamim stood. “The temple will not speak against the daughter of Ragnon. She is known to us as a righteous woman and a dru of some ability despite her youth.”
“Her youth?”
Benami looked but didn’t know which council member had spoken. “She’s just seventeen years old, but already her fame as a dru has spread. She carries an elfin stone. The only one known to exist. It is said it was given to her by the queen of the elves before she died.”
Someone else asked, “Will her father let her come?”
Benami looked at Rachamim. “I pray so. She’s our only hope.”
****
Dressed in her dark blue gown, with her shiny black hair tumbling over her shoulders, Princess Evaughnlynn sat statue-like in a garden chair with her eyes closed while the castle children played around her in the grass.
Roselyn, her cousin, watched quietly from her seat with her hands folded on the lap of her green gown, her reddish-blond hair tumbling over her shoulders. Concern for her royal cousin filled Roselyn’s mind. In the year and a half since the battle in the forest against the orcs, rumors of dark wizards and Jutland agents searching for Phylon had reached Hawk’s Keep with the arrival of courtiers almost monthly.
Worse yet, Prince Thrall had arrived for the Handfasting ceremony two months earlier and had been more of a bore than when they had traveled to Anglia for his stepmother’s funeral. Roselyn had found herself so upset by his treatment of her cousin she had confronted Evaughnlynn about cancelling the marriage, but Evaughnlynn had insisted on going through with the handfasting ceremony, the first of two marriage ceremonies, and was now technically married to Thrall.
Since then Evaughnlynn had become even quieter and rarely smiled. Her unbounded optimism and happiness were gone.
Roselyn understood a little of her younger cousin’s loneliness. Since Beowyn was made his father’s lieutenant, she rarely saw him and missed him terribly. He was constantly busy or on patrol in the time since their return. Her uncle, King Ragnon, was convinced it was only a matter of time before the dark wizards struck again. He had doubled the number of men-at-arms and strengthened all the border posts.
Suddenly, Princess Evaughnlynn stood and opened her eyes. “Come, Rose, a messenger has reached the watchtower on the road from the Freeholds. My father will send for me soon and I must appear dressed as a dru, not a girl of privilege and leisure.”
Roselyn changed into her white wool robe and the pale blue headdress that covered her long hair, then joined her cousin in her high tower room at the corner of the keep. Evaughnlynn, similarly dressed, stood by the window looking to the south road. “Beowyn is bringing nine riders from the Freeholds to Hawk’s Keep for a meeting with my father. It’s as I’ve expected. The dark moves against the Freemen first in this war. They are here to ask our help.”
Roselyn felt herself blush. “Beowyn is coming?”
Evaughnlynn turned from the window. “He has said nothing to my father. The boy’s as thick as the stone of Hawk’s Keep.”
“Or he just doesn’t love me that way. We’ve been raised as cousins from birth, and he paid Morrigan a lot of attention on the trip back from Anglia.” She stepped next to her cousin to look out the window to the south. “Perhaps when we reach Anglia after your marriage I’ll find someone as well.”
“He had no interest in Morrigan, as pretty as she is. Unless she’s changed a great deal since we last saw her, she’s a clinging vine, whose first care is for herself.”
Trail dust rose above the trees to the south and then riders crested the hill to gallop down the open road. Beowyn was in the lead, dressed in his armor with the badger crest. Riding beside him was a man in overlapping ring armor like that worn by the Garruth she had seen in Anglia. In front of eight foreign warriors was the large form of Sergeant Bullnose riding beside an older man, who reminded her of Sir Lares for a moment, before she recalled that he went to Jutland to retrieve his stone of power, and was not killed in the battle with the dark wizards who led the orcs, as her uncle had told the others.
Roselyn’s stone of power grew warm against her breast as she sensed a time of great danger approaching. Sorcha, her cousin’s stone, was teaching her stone about the Freemen and she realized they would be going to the Freeholds.
© Copyright 2025 R. M. Keegan. All rights reserved.
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As fantasy novels I am not a fan. But I am trying to expand my reading and read this with interest. This does not disappoint. The writing is strong and the concept is a cut above the rest. It is beautifully paced by RM Keegan and absolutely compelling. Well done, you have got me hooked.
Interesting. I thought I have looked at and replied to your review. I have been having computer problems lately, so I'm not totally surprised.
Thanks for the kind words. I hope you keep reading. Maybe we can make a fantasy fan our of you yet. R.M.
Aha... it's been so long since Reaction Time II, I'll break my usual rule of avoiding chapter-1's and review this.
Scene one looks good. You might consider ending the chapter on it so that Gamliel is the only ms introduced. As is, there are so many mains it feels crowded.
"Evaughnlynn" is a mouthful of a name. I can;t even hope to say it in my head. Perhaps have her nicknamed Eva?
That's all i have for now. Looking forward to getting in on one from the ground floor.
-K
The Freemen and the Stone
: R. M. Keegan
: Fantasy
Chapter 1 (v.1) - The Sickness
Greetings fellow User,
1. What stands out for me is the overuse of the same pronoun, esp. in the same sentence. Once the character has been identified maybe try a descriptive word or phrase to mix things up. It’s an easy way to add depth of character with only a slight change in word count. // the tall man, the dark skinned one, the sad faced one, etc.
2. Maybe give a Why in addition to a How the dialogue is said.
3. The physical character descriptions work fairly well, not to detailed that I can’t add my own bias, but it gives a nice Robin Hood feel to the scenery and lighting.
4. The speech patterns are OK, but they read like a book and not how a character might actually sound. Maybe make it less formal, clip some words to give the effect of and accent or similar.
5. I like how you info-dump the historical exposition thru the dialogue.
Thank you,
Mike W McCoy
This is my first look at any of your writing and I really like it. I can see you have a clear plot line, strong characters and character development. I like where this is going.
I think this story need more description. I want to see the world around your characters. I want to know what that cave was like and how the Dark Lord's tower was from the outside to the in.
I also think that you are a little to direct, giving away information that doesn't need to be given.
Cheers
My apologies in my delayed response to your review, but I've been busy of late. I will, of course, return the favor as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, this is book three of a series and much of the setting is in those stories. As for the dark lords tower, I wished to keep the setting dark, thus the late afternoon setting and the need for candles to see at all other than shadows. It's an effect.
As opposed to many writers I frequently include both meaningless and meaningful details. This is because I use a mental outline, not a written one. This allows the book, in a sense, to write itself. I have used written outlines by found they stifle creativity.
R.M.
Hi R.M. Sorry I've been MIA so long, but I've had some health issues that I am still dealing with. Trying to get going again, but it's slow work. I've finished Liam's Quest and will hopefully get the rest of that posted soon, and also have a mid-grade/children's story that I will start posting.
I was excited to see this new story! I like how you've started and also how you brought us up to speed on Evaughnlynn and Roselyn.
I have a few suggestions for you, but not many, this is a good first chapter. One thing that kind of hit me wrong is how you keep calling what's going on a sickness. I'm not sure why I don't like that word choice, I guess because it seems kind of generic. Maybe that's what you are going for, but plague or something like that might make it seem more deadly.
So the brothers assigned one critical component are now otherwise occupied. >> I think this would flow better if you said something like: So the brothers assigned to one critical component are now otherwise occupied.
In the year and a half since the battle in the forest against the orcs, rumors of dark wizards and Jutland agents searching for Phylon had reached Hawk’s Keep with the arrival of courtiers almost monthly. >> In the year and a half since the forest battle against the orcs, courtiers had borne rumors almost monthly of dark wizards and Jutland agents searching for Phylon. (Something like that.)
The stone of power grew warm against her breast as she sensed a time of great danger approaching. Sorcha, her cousin’s stone, was teaching her stone about the Freemen and she realized they would be going to the Freeholds. >> Maybe a few more reminders about Sorcha.
Thanks for the review and for the suggestions. Of course, my hope is that this book's background is known from reading the prior books. Sigh. I may even publish this series. Currently I'm running through my excuses for not publishing the other two book in the Reaction Time series. R.M.
I'm hooked all the way wanting to know more. I love this story a lot. I have my suspects list ready to go . The black robed rider caught my full attention 100. The brothers, the Master, the prisoner and the enemy I have my full attention to know who they really are, What's the Master true motive in his plan.
My suggestion is: For a moment Fulradt thought the room empty instead add For a moment Fulradt the room was empty.
I want to buy the book to add to book collection. Keep me informed. More power to your writings.
andrew hixson