'THE HUNTED'
Grant me the right to live in peace
within nature's haven
As I was here long before you
Long before your roads and highways
Endured your hunting and killing
for meat and for sport
It is the "for sport" that I so hate man
As I cannot wage war with bullets
They travel far quicker than I
Plunge deep into my flesh
ripping my sinew
spilling my blood
killing me instantly
or leaving me thrashing in agony
My pain no less than man's
At times I'm not alone
Flesh of my flesh watches my fall
hears my death throes
weaving throughout the forest
while all wildlife shudders
© Copyright 2025 flowing pencil. All rights reserved.
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My sentiments exactly and written in exactly the way I would write it. You have given me voice in your work. This says it all. This is a prize winner! Five stars!
I was turned off to hunting when I was a young sprat when I saw Bambi's father die.
Author
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Thanks so much Ernie.. Being a meat eater I am ok with hunting IF done in a humane way. NOT for the thrill of the kill. As with the Trump brothers killing of wildlife and bragging about it. Showing their prizes as if they really accomplished something of worth.
While wildlife have built in senses for danger they cannot in anyway know a rifle with a sight is pointed at them. Movement yes! As I can be way up the hill on the porch and the deer down in the clearing will know I'm there as ear perk up and they freeze into position. Even the very young have that skill.
I grew up with a hunter. It wasn't until I was about five or six and had to hold the legs of of rabbit he had killed that I learned they bleed and have organs and intestines etc.. Only target shooting after that.. If raised around hunting and raised on a farm etc.. one does get use to what takes place to put food on the table. But it is done humanly for the most part.
Thanks for reading. Glad you like the formatting etc as for me it was the only way to do it.
Patti
shutters? or shudders?
I've been hunting all my adult life. This star5ed when up in Alaska and for years I hunted in Colorado, Wyoming and Montana. I never went out with more than 1 round in the chamber. With that limitation, you have to make sure of your kill. Every bit of the deer, Elk, or other animal was used, as clothing. as food, or as a donation to shelters of one type or another.
I do sympathize with the animals, though. When and wherever taken, I always make offerings to the spirits that allowed me the privilege of hunting.
Great work, Patti.
~Tom
Author
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Your kind of hunting I accept.. it is the fools who just shot to kill and have NO idea what they are doing. Thus having to take more shots to finally kill the suffering animal or go on FB and brag about their kill. AS if it took some kind of bravery. Some hunting does in fact take bravery but not sure why one would kill a lion or an elephant unless for pleasure? For the ivory? Someday man will pay a huge price for his thoughtless behavior.
Hunting for food is still a necessity for many as is killing farm animals for food etc.. And many wear leather and that isn't made of a plant. I have owned leather clothing and shoes so I understand it isn't as simple as it sounds. Would I ever own another leather product? I don't know. Most likely have purchased without even knowing and without thought as to how it made it to the store shelves or on the mannequin. :(
It is like discussing other important issues.. many sides.
Thanks for reading and the valuable feedback. It is a different type of write for me but the drawing drew me in.
patti
Great hearing from in voice of the hunted. Long debated, yet nothing settles to the bottom just right. I suppose, if you live in the wilds, this is the only way to survive. Other than that, seems to be all for the sport of it. Oh yeah, they call it 'weeding out'. Come to think of it, aren't we all among the 'hunted' by someone somewhere? For something or other? Same outcome. Good job, Flo. . .BT
Author
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Sorry for being late with this! I lost the weekend.. :D So much going on and not up to par.
It was a very quick write and I was pleasantly surprised that some found it worthy. I was afraid of getting a lot of flack due to lack of verses etc etc and that the flow might be off. Wasn't when I read it but as you know ... the writer of a piece sees and hears it differently than others.
Deer have a very short lifespan and to think people kill them just to kill is heartbreaking. They eat certain plants and we've had to give up on a few species but I don't care. Hopefully the plants I pick for the "little cottage" are deer resistant or I may change my mind! :D Though I would use a water pistol to shoo them off. LOL.
Thanks you for being such a faithful reader of my work.
Patti
Oh and I forgot to say how talented your son was at such a tender age. Very nice. BT
Author
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Oh.. I posted the site where you can see his newest exhibition on FB I think he is a remarkable talent. NOT because he is my son either. His art begs you to "think" as they tell stories in a way. His way.
Patti
Hi Patti. It is snowing like crazy today!
Regarding - 'THE HUNTED'
You totally touched my heart with the opening four lines. I am an animal lover and "the unnecessary hunt" is a horror.
Killing animals for sport is unacceptable on all levels. Personally, I am not in favor of fishing for sport either, but I am guilty of partaking.
Perfect:
As I was here long before you
Long before your roads and highways
Touches my heart and my soul -
"They travel far quicker than I
Plunge deep into my flesh
Well done Flowing Pencil, from the first line to the last. We done.
I have been deep in thought for all the abandoned pets and all the wilderness animals that have died and are dying in the horrid fires in Fort McMurray. The fires stretch over an area three times the size of Edmonton. We are safe - it is snowing and raining here, but not a drop in Fort Mac
Your poem is awesome….
I have saved in my SPECIAL file.
Hugs
Author
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Thanks babe! I was a bit anxious about this piece as not my normal style. Though as usual there is no punctuation! AND you know why! LOL.. I may actually try one more time to figure punctuation out but not until the fall. Too much on my plate.
I had the same sad/dark thoughts thinking about the devastation and how utterly helpless wildlife is when it come to fire. Some can out run or out fly the flames but not all. Once it begins to move quickly it is doom for all its path.
Again.. thank you for the continued support and pleased you liked this piece of writing.
patti
While I admire your subject matter, I truly enjoy the meter and rhythm of the poem. There's a great moment at the beginning of the second stanza, "Endured your hunting and killing / for meat and for sport." The beats of the longer line followed by the briefer line perfectly embodies the time in which one might go hunting, searching only for the brevity of the final kill, which though lasts just a moment, endures eternally. The final stanza is also a delight to read.
Author
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Brendan.. you actually may know more about poetry writing than I do.. I just write and pray as all the rules fall by the wayside. NOT because I don't respect them but due to my not understanding and grasping them. :D Even with classes it wouldn't change. I simply don't grasp rules etc. Wish I did as perhaps my work would improve.
Having others read and like my creations is such a joy and drives me forward with new pieces. I'm published but that to me says absolutely nada.. as Joe Blow could get published and only wrote one poem his entire life and it was about cow manure.. :D NOT meaning to be disrespectful to poetry writers as God knows I support them. It is just the bragging about being published that drives moi crazy. Though other genres of writing have a far better chance at success. OH to write a detective novel with such intrigue that Ian Rankin is my newest bud! But alas! Don't have the imagination nor the skills. So comedy and poetry is my "lane" in the highway of writing..
I NEVER take it for granted when someone reads my work and leaves feedback. Doesn't matter if positive or rips me a new one. I am thankful for their time.
I have no clue what genre you write but will be checking it out. Have my fingers crossed. :D
Patricia
Hi Patti,
There never seems to be a topic that you cannot deepen with your thoughtful poetry. I too am an animal lover (although not in my yard or in my house if I can help it) though I do eat meat so I would be a hypocrite if I said killing animals was always bad, but certainly it can be done humanely. I also disagree with strictly sport hunting and fishing if not used for food.
Another powerful point well made.
By the way, shutters are the wood slats that cover windows. I believe you mean shudders here in this case.
Well done--Lance
Author
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Oh Godsake! I fixed that little problem but forgot to do it here! Thanks.. I know it is "shudder" .. my typing is so fast I can't control my fingers at times.. LOL..
I am a meat eater also and I know that the killing is NOT always humane. Hopefully it will get there with more regulation.
Hunting for the thrill of killing is what I hate. Especially endangered species.
Thanks for reading and pointing out I forgot to fix the "shutters" haaaaa
Patricia
Hey Patti,
I honestly got a lump in my throat reading this, because of it's visceral nature (between you and me, I think I stifled a sob-- a quiet one [giggle]). How sadly true.
It is the arrogance of the homo-sapien at work, that we humans hunt animals for sport: because he's "made in god's image", and vanquished the earth, after 200,000 years of climbing out of the trees, and growing a brain larger than a grape fruit. I think WE forget WE started out as prey, before we turned the tables, after bloody millenniums of trial and error.
Perhaps we need an evolutionary tap on the shoulder-- per a higher species, like aliens-- to remind us of what it was like to be hunted-- and in our deplorable case-- for sport!
We hunt animals for food: great! We hunt animals for sport... so don't go there!
Author
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Thank you so much for reading this and the awesome feedback. Your words rather shook me to my core as reminded me of man's beginnings. Many of course dispute that man descended from apes. I don't. While raised Christian and have of course read the Bible from front cover to back cover.. and read it again.. I also have a brain and I questioned everything and still do. Blind belief is just that and very dangerous.
I would encourage you to write a piece also about this subject of hunting for sport. Am I misunderstanding something or are you also against hunting for food? I'm unsure so I'm asking.
Please consider writing a piece and include all of what you shared above? It is such an emotional and intelligent piece of writing and I think needs to be shared.
Patti
Mmm, right off the bat you have me wondering who the narrator could be ... *reading on*
A wild animal.
Another poem with much food for thought. To make us consider the other side of the coin for a change.
For food, makes sense. For sport, maybe not so much.
This is very different than your usual poems, Patti, and just as powerful!
Author
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Hey.. thanks for reading this piece. It was just a simple spur of the moment read as
was thinking of the deer we have here and how many are killed for sport... and by accident due to invading roads/freeways etc.. Saw a baby deer in a ditch as it had been hit by a car. There are ways to help with this carnage but it cost money. Something has to be done
as we've had a death of one person so far as a deer made it onto the freeway and she stopped and was hit from behind and was killed.
Robert has hit two and it caused so much damage to the car and the dear. Why I'm always on alert when we travel to town. Many times I've spotted deer close to the road or in the road so we simply stop and wait. Many place have special "dear crossings" etc.
I hate those like Donald Trump's sons who kill endangered wildlife and pose smiling with them on FB. As if it is some great feat. No contest between a lion and a powerful rifle.
Many who live in the country do hunt for food. I can't take offense of that as I'm a meat eater and nothing in the meat case.. volunteered to die so I could eat it.
Thanks again.
Patti
I like how you wrote from the point of view of a hunted animal rather than something else (i don't know what though). However, I enjoyed treading it, even though it got a bit graphic, but I hope that you continue posting, it was a very good read in my opinion
Author
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Thank you for reading this and i know it is a bit graphic at times but realism is important in this type of write. I live in hundreds of acres of woods and am visited by deer all the time. Families of them.. also cougar/fox/coyotes etc.. Hearing gunshots makes me sick though know some hunt for food and I have to respect that as I am a meat eater and to do animals die. And at times NOT humanly.
Hunting is NOT allowed in our area but I have a hunch some of the wild animals are killed for sport. As with the "stuffed" cougar on the wall of my neighbor home. It had killed a lot of their chickens so he "took it out." I kind of understood that as many of my friends live on farms and lose fowl and sheep to coyote/fox etc..
I had deer come withing five feet of kitchen window. I am in awe of them. I would rather capture them in poetry or art than to shoot them. Though the little uh.. "bastards" eat the tops off of some of my favorite plants..:D
So far we have had no damage due to bears but they have been sighted.
Again.. thank you for reading this and hoping you are finding your way around this site.
Patricia
I too have eaten MANY cows, but I don't think I've ever hunted. To me, it's a madman's golf game. Quiet, boring, waiting - only here there's a boom! or a P-CHOTTT! and an innocent animals slows down, keels over, and dies - often too slowly. Maybe a good "sensitiser" would be to have men play golf AT each other. Make golf a combat sport. Get hit hit with enough golf balls and maybe some hunter thinks again before playing the other game of putt-putt-SPLOT!
This is powerful, powerful poem that hits hard - no pun or putt intended. The final six lines are especially sad and haunting. I can't imagine anyone on off this site saying it any better! Thanks much for sharing, Patti.
Peace,
Mike
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Thanks Mike! I too hate those who hunt for sport. For food? That is different though I still feel it should be done humanly and fairly. AS it should be for slaughtering for food that fills our grocery stores. In this time and age the barbaric practices are shameful.
Will be catching up on reading/reviewing later next week. Looks like I will be "busy." :D
Will most likely NOT post any work until I've caught up on reading/reviewing work I started and had to leave for awhile. Now that my Mac is back in my hands and not grandchildren's :D
Thanks for the continued support Mike.
Patti
Oh, I love it!
Awesome rhythm you accomplished here without the use of rhyme. I find that sort of bizz refreshing.
My herbivorous tendencies may make me biased here...but yes, I definitely understand and accept the premise of your poem. Hunting for sport is a cruel thing indeed.
Lovely job, you killed it. Eloquent as heck.
Cheers,
Bianca
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Bianca.. thank you so much for reading and happy you liked it. I'm such an advocate for wildlife and a softie. Sorry it took me so long to reply. Haven't been on TNBW for awhile. Gone on a long trip and also due to problems with vision. Hope to return soon. Way behind on a couple of novels.. and behind on new members.
Again, thank you.
Patricia
No
Erndog