Thank you, Temple. I'll look into those. I'm on a limited budget, so I have to restrict myself to one or two.

I've trolled through Amazon recently looking for great books on the craft of writing, only to come up pretty much empty. There seems to be an increasing trend where books are broken into bite-size Kindle fare that sell for $4 - $10 each. Has anyone come across a great book on this topic that made you a better writer? Please tell me there's more out there than Fiction for Dummies.

Thanks
Dirk

Thank you, Jack.

Does anyone knows of a good writing book that encompasses most (all?) of the writing elements highlight in this blog post? I'm currently reading the Write Great Fiction series, but it's just an excuse to charge $10 for each major story element.

Thank ye, kindly.

My latest book has 2-4 major scenes per chapter, usually alternating between the points of view of two main characters. I'll eventually settle on a few fancy characters to divide major scenes in the finished book (e.g., wingdings or whatever translates well to Kindle). However, I've come across situations in which time elapses and/or location changes within some of the major scenes and I want to skip ahead to the next important event within the same scene. I was thinking of using an extra blank line as minor scene breaks and then, as noted above, something a little fancy for major scene breaks. Is this a reasonable thing to do?

Thanks
Dirk

Thank you, both.

I've looked up capitalization for the title Secretary of State. Some style manuals recommend capitalizing prestigious titles, including this one. However, is the title still capitalized when you shorten it to secretary? Note that in the paragraph below, director general is, technically, also a prestigious title. He's the most senior officer in Italy's national police force. It seems goofy to capitalize secretary but not director general, although that's a slippery slope.

De Rosa said, “I have to update the Vatican. The Secretary of State is awaiting my call.” He pulled out his cell phone and stepped away. He returned a few minutes later and addressed Campagna. “The secretary has informed me that he and your director general have already been in touch this morning about how to proceed if it’s the cardinal's body. You should expect a call momentarily.”

Thanks
Dirk

1,434

(63 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I've been stuck for hours, avoiding problems with my outline. I need a scene to fill in a gap, but the only obvious one is a funeral for Cardinal Vitale, but those usually (always?) take place at St. Peter's Basilica for cardinals. Even the disgraced Cardinal Law got a sendoff from Pope Francis there. However, I already have a scene planned for there as a special outing for the kids to go to Mass. I also have a funeral coming up involving Romano, so I don't want two of those either. I think I'll just go to bed and read. Maybe see how much I lost in the stock market today.

John Hamler made an interesting observation of my scene 1.2 (the one where Vitale is buried alive). Initially, I referred to the antagonist in that scene as "the man", albeit with demonic attributes. However, as I tweaked it, it evolved to the point where he identified himself as the Antichrist up front, which I figured is obvious from the book summary anyway. That means my book's antagonist appears and kills his first cardinal in the second scene of chapter one. There's little build up of tension leading to his first attack, except for him caught running out of the orphanage at the end of scene 1.1. Although it may be happening too soon, a lot depends on the murder, especially scene 1.4, which introduces the two detectives and the start of the murder investigation, something I want to include in chapter one. My other option is to kill scene 1.2 and move directly to scene 1.4, leaving the reader with some unanswered questions about the killer. As is, digging up the cardinal in scene 1.4 holds no surprises, since the reader saw him buried alive in 1.2.

EDIT: One benefit of scene 1.2, in my opinion, is that the reader can see that the burial is not as horrific as one might imagine if the body simply turns up in 1.4 and it's discovered Vitale was buried alive. I want to try to avoid gruesome deaths, and Vitale's is relatively benign, given how scary it would normally be for a person being buried.

Thoughts?
Dirk

1,436

(63 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You mean I'm not the only one that keeps happening to?

1,437

(63 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Are you finished with [T I a]? I noticed Mrs. [B l u e] is back.

I surrender. The short version it is. Vern, it's uncanny how you knew the way I drive.

Thanks to all for your feedback.

The following relates to my Catholic End Times story.

Background: Connor and Alessandro are teenagers living in a Catholic orphanage in Rome. Alessandro is having an epileptic seizure, and the room is filled with other boys witnessing the events. Connor is kneeling and holding Alessandro's head so Father Romano can apply a manual resuscitator to help Alessandro breathe. Connor then says a prayer (see below).

I'm told by Catholics on a forum I'm on that many Catholics cross themselves, speak the Trinitarian formula (In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.), say their intended prayer, then cross themselves again and repeat the formula. In the following, Connor prefers to say the formula in Latin, although many do not. I truncated the actual prayer for brevity.

Current Version:

Connor crossed himself. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.” He closed his eyes. “Father, just as you lifted your perfect Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, into heaven, I beseech you now in his name to lift this curse from Alessandro...” Connor crossed himself again.
Everyone echoed his final “Amen.”

In this version, the second formula is implied as indicated by the fact that everyone else in the room echoed his final amen. However, there are other instances in the book where characters pray as Connor/Catholics do, but if I were to write it as I did above, it would be too repetitive. Instead, I usually mention that someone crosses themselves, then prays. The rest I leave out. That annoys my pedantic side, because non-Catholics won't even know it's incomplete and Catholics might think it's done wrong.

Alternate Version:

Connor crossed himself. Like most Catholics, he always included the Trinitarian formula, albeit in Latin: “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.” He closed his eyes. “Father, just as you lifted your perfect Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, into heaven, I beseech you now in his name to lift this curse from Alessandro...” Connor crossed himself again.
Everyone echoed his final “Amen.”

The additional sentence essentially tells the reader that most characters in the book do it the way Connor does, although not always in Latin. Those reviewers who commented on the second version didn't like it. It's definitely clunky.

Thoughts?

Thanks
Dirk

1,440

(13 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Be sure everyone smokes cigarettes.

There was a movie by that name, too. I never saw it, but the title stuck.  When I needed something for my book opening, I went back and found the original quote. It sounded like a good opening line to hook the reader, so I structured the scene to be able to place it at the very top and very bottom of the scene. Thanks to Ann for suggesting I find a way to balance the two parts.

Thank you, Richard. I came to the same conclusion. I use it once at the beginning of the scene and again at the end (after a demonic being attacks the orphanage). Father Romano should trust his instincts.

I see you attended the less is more academy. Me thinkst your right. Since it's a thought, I'll use italics and let the test that follows explain where it's from.

Thanks
Dirk

I'll leave it in for the time being. Once I figure out the Antichrist's personality, I can figure out whether to leave it. I comes down to how much pleasure he gets out of forcing cardinals to commit suicide. Quite a bit, I would think.

Thank
Dirk

I was wondering what people think of the following ending to scene 1.2 (burying alive of Cardinal Vitale):

The last sound he heard was of the Antichrist singing “The Prayer.” How ironical that it sounded so blissful when sung in a deep bass.

Is the idea of the Antichrist singing (The Prayer or Time to Say Goodbye) too silly?

Thanks
Dirk

The opening line of my book is a quote from Macbeth that my character is thinking about (it's foreshadowing). Normally, book quotes should be in quotation marks. However, my character is thinking about the line, not speaking or reading it. Thoughts in my book are formatted using italics. I'm inclined to put it in italics, maybe with quotation marks.

“By the prickling of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”
Father Gregorio Romano chuckled as he remembered the quote from Macbeth. Strange chills running up and down his spine and a sense of foreboding had brought the memory to the fore, interrupting his prayer. He took a calming breath and dismissed the sensations as nonsense. All was well.

Thoughts?

Thanks
Dirk

Bobbie, are they members of Premium? And are they publishing to Premium? It requires points to publish to this group, and new members often bypass publishing to Premium because they don't have enough points. You need to be a member of a group to which they published.

What error message do you get?

A BoobBaby email reminded me of the importance of the opening sentence. What better choice than to steal a line from Shakespeare? It appears again at the end of the chapter, after Romano's run in with the demonic being.

“By the prickling of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”

Father Romano chuckled as he remembered the quote from Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Strange chills running up and down his spine and a sense of foreboding had brought the memory to the fore, interrupting his prayer. He took a calming breath and dismissed the sensations as nonsense. All was well.

He returned to his prayer. “Father, I come to you in Jesus’s name. I am a sinful man, not worthy of your grace. I beg for it nonetheless. I have failed you many times. But no more. From now on I will bear my cross with joy. Please strengthen my resolve. I long to feel the Holy Spirit stir within me as he did when—”

Thanks, Gacela. Good summary on deep point of view. However, my gripe was with the idea of switching between 3rd person, past tense (indirect inner dialogue) and 1st person, present tense (direct inner dialogue) in the same paragraph, with nothing to distinguish when you're switching from one to the other and back again. I plan to ignore that fad.

Thank you both. The terms online vary from article to article. Temple's terminology is straightforward, but it was a surprise that italicizing direct internal dialogue is no longer a given. That may be why my writing confused my reviewer. It probably varies by genre. I'll keep doing what I'm doing until there's a clear evolution to something better. Mixing direct and indirect internal dialogue in a paragraph without distinguishing them in some way, as with italics, is nonsense, IMO. One of the articles actually suggested it makes for a smoother read. Uh huh.