Well, the Papal Mass is out. Not enough material online to do it justice. However, I did stumble on what I hope is a really good tourist guide for the Vatican, including St. Peter's Basilica, the Sistine Chapel, and the Vatican Museum. Throw in another miracle by Connor, and I should be good to go.
1,151 2020-01-31 02:17:14
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
1,152 2020-01-30 03:03:21
Re: Say the first word that comes to mind... (1,634 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Carrot top
1,153 2020-01-26 09:48:36
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Just trying to add a little description.
Thanks
Dirk
1,154 2020-01-26 02:02:28
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Can someone please tell me which of the following is correct/preferable?
It slips under doors rather than tear them off their hinges.
It slips under doors rather than tearing them off their hinges.
Thanks.
Dirk
1,155 2020-01-25 23:12:22
Re: Say the first word that comes to mind... (1,634 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
The Exorcist!
1,156 2020-01-24 11:44:33
Re: The Sorcerer's Progress (1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Time for a hard backup, if you haven't already.
1,157 2020-01-20 05:32:15
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Nuts. My scene about the orphans visiting St. Peter's Basilica is falling apart. The basilica and a Papal Mass are much more complicated than I had expected. Also, the city of Rome surrounding the basilica doesn't have the features I was hoping for. I was hoping to find an overpass nearby for Connor's next miracle. Failing that, a bridge over the Tiber River. They have the latter, but it's a hike to get there. A bit much for the younger orphans who are supposed to be in this scene. Also, there's no good excuse for going there. There's a castle there, but I don't want to dedicate page space for the boys to tour it.
1,158 2020-01-18 11:43:43
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Following is the 'before' version of where I would like to note for the reader that Connor and many (most?) Catholics always cross themselves and recite the Trinitarian formula at the beginning and end of every prayer.
Romano put the mask on Alessandro and compressed the attached bag every few seconds until the boy’s chest rose and fell normally. Romano sighed.
Connor crossed himself. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.” He closed his eyes. “Father, just as you lifted your perfect Son ... not my will but yours be done.” Connor crossed himself again and everyone echoed his final “Amen.”
Alessandro’s seizure ended. Romano removed the resuscitator, and Connor rose.
And here's my revision. I moved Romano's observation of Connor's way of praying until after the prayer is complete. That seems like the best place to put it since they're waiting for Alessandro's seizure to end.
Romano put the mask on Alessandro and compressed the attached bag every few seconds until the boy’s chest rose and fell normally. Romano sighed.
Connor crossed himself. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.” He closed his eyes. “Father, just as you lifted your perfect Son ... not my will but yours be done.” Connor crossed himself again. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.”
Everyone echoed his final “Amen.”
Romano always admired Connor's devout way of praying. As good as any Catholic. After all, if you're going to call on the Almighty, you might as well do it right.
Alessandro’s seizure ended. Romano removed the resuscitator, and Connor rose.
Romano's observation sets up all other prayers in the book, which gives me the freedom to write prayers without always explicitly crossing oneself and reciting the Trinitarian formula.
Dirk
EDIT: It took me a few false starts, but I'm finally happy with the way things are worded above. My thanks to those who commented.
1,159 2020-01-18 05:00:59
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Lake-Ellen returns? Cool. I better pick up my pace in Terrorcruise so I'm ready for her next sojourn. Thank you for your feedback.
1,160 2020-01-18 03:24:29
Re: Elusive Paradise (9 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
The Kaskilia novel sounds really good, IMO.
1,161 2020-01-18 03:20:18
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Yes, that's the intent, but without hitting the reader over the head with it. I think even Catholic readers would get bored if I stop to show it every time it happens.
For the crossing/formula, my preference would be to show it a few times up front, then phase it out, then bring it back from time to time when I want to emphasize it. The feedback I got in chapter one when I tried to have Connor do it exactly as he should was to show it once (i.e., before the first prayer), then make it go away as fast as possible (that readers would just get it). The feedback I got when I tried to have Romano note to himself that that's how Connor always does it was even more negative, although that's probably ideal, but I have yet to come up with acceptable wording. I'll throw up an example tomorrow.
A more generic example would be saluting in a military story. If someone salutes their commander two or three times, would you assume they always do so even when not explicitly noted, or would you conclude the subordinate (or the author) forgot to do it. That's even more problematic if the person later salutes after getting chewed out for something unrelated.
1,162 2020-01-18 01:16:15
Re: Elusive Paradise (9 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Also, don't forget to respond to reviews. Helps your readers know if their time is well-spent giving reviews. You can respond to individual comments by clicking on them, and there is a general reply textbox under the review. Be sure to read in x-line mode (a tab at the top), which shows all the comments at once, otherwise you'll click yourself to death.
1,163 2020-01-17 23:34:58
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I was wondering if I can get a few opinions on how to handle repetitive story elements such as bowing one's head to a cardinal or speaking the Trinitarian fornula (In nominee patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti. Amen.) every time one crosses oneself.
One example is my exorcism chapter. As written, Father Romano, Connor, and Father Luca don't explicitly bow their heads to Cardinal Nnamani when they approach him at the hospital. I left it as implied since both Romano and Connor have previously bowed their heads in his presence back at the orphanage and would do so again. However, as they enter the hospital room together, everyone inside (all new characters) rises and bows their heads. Since it's all one scene, it should probably be consistent for everyone, and I'm inclined to do it throughout the book (there aren't that many occurrences).
The other one is more tricky. It would grow very tiresome if I had someone explicitly verbalize the Trinitarian formula every time they cross themselves. It would be equally repetitive if I explicitly noted every time someone crosses themselves, including at the beginning and end of every prayer. I have yet to find a good way to communicate to the reader that when someone prays, many (not all) cross themselves before and after the prayer, and when they cross themselves, they often (not always) speak the formula, and some, like Connor, speak the formula in Latin.
In one of Seabrass's stories, he frequently notes the bells of the clock tower, even down to a quarter hour. I thought it was a little overdone (sorry, Charles), but I'm sure he had his reasons for his POV character noting the time. Also, his main character, Lake-Ellen, carries a wooden staff for defense, and he was pretty consistent in noting when she put it down or picked it up.
Thoughts?
Thanks
Dirk
1,164 2020-01-17 15:03:37
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Love debates on religion. My book is about the End Times in Revelation, so it has a mostly Catholic bent, but I may want to expand into Judaism and Islam in the next book. It would be an enormous undertaking to learn about those religions, so I haven't decided yet. That would be for books two and three. Book one is largely focused on Catholicism, although Connor visits Israel for a pilgrimage to follow in Jesus's footsteps.
1,165 2020-01-17 14:53:22
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
My education in theology is limited but growing, especially Catholicism. I'm definitely not a priest, although I'm delighted that you might think so. My last book was a space opera that focused on mental illness and a religion called the Christian Heresy. My current book includes elements inspired by Star Wars (the Force) and, oddly enough, the old Angel vampire TV series (I have characters named Connor and Michael(Angelo)). No actual vampires in my book but plenty of Catholic demons. It's set in Rome, the Vatican, and the Holy Land.
1,166 2020-01-17 14:41:37
Re: Elusive Paradise (9 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Just checked out your posting. I strongly recommend that you post for points if you want the most number of reviewers. Some of us have enough points to last until the next age of Middle Earth, but many need to earn points to publish their own work.
1,167 2020-01-17 14:34:15
Re: Elusive Paradise (9 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Welcome, Marius. You're on the right site and in one of the most active forums. Although it is technically possible to have work plagiarized, I haven't heard of it happening on this site. A copyright notice automatically appears in each chapter you post. Be sure not to post to the internet, then your work will only be visible on the site.
If you check out the posts in this forum, you'll see brainstorming threads for fantasy, science fiction, a supernatural thriller (mine), and heaven knows what else. We gathered here long ago because other forums aren't as active.
I look forward to reading your work. Please check out the content summary of my book, Saving Connor, to see if it's something you might be interested in. Just click on my username and it will take you to my profile page, where you'll find my book.
Dirk
1,168 2020-01-16 13:29:04
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
The primary target audience is Catholics. If I can entice other Christians or thrillers readers, so much the better. If it was for a general audience, there'd be far less praying and probably more violence (like Angels & Demons by Dan Brown). As it is, I'll be killing four cardinals, which is bad, but is necessary for the story. Besides the dead gravedigger, I'm hoping to have few other deaths, but I'm not sure yet.
1,169 2020-01-16 09:43:31
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I'm following the rules of Catholicism as closely as I can. They take this stuff very seriously, so I don't want to stray from their rules unless I really have to. I can fix the issue with Connor and the reverend mother easily enough, so I don't need to make stuff up. I'm also trying to create a realistic picture of Rome, the Vatican, and the Holy Land. I spent a year doing research for this trilogy so that I can get it right. No sense stopping now
.
1,170 2020-01-16 01:30:55
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Nuts. Several folks on my Catholic forum tell me that demons possess only the body of a person and that the soul is freed when the body dies, unless the possessed person willingly accepts the devil. That screws up my scene where Connor saves the reverend mother's soul just before her deathbed warning and physical death. Not sure how to fix that. I suppose she could be possessed to keep her from giving Connor her warning before she dies. Perhaps she learns of the warning through prayer and tells her fellow nuns that she needs to find Connor (or Constantino), whoever he is, then becomes possessed.
1,171 2020-01-13 12:50:41
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Celsius. Edmonton, about three hours north of Calgary, is forecast to be the coldest place on Earth this coming week. :-)
1,172 2020-01-12 21:54:53
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Someone built an igloo in Calgary and listed it on Airbnb. :-)
1,173 2020-01-12 21:49:51
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Weather forecast for Calgary calls for a high of -27 degrees later this week. I remember now why I hate the Prairies.
1,174 2020-01-12 21:27:25
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
No, just me not using a chapter checklist yet. If I don't write it down and read it every chapter, I forget to do it. Same goes for Antonio Beneventi haunting Romano for the rest of the book. I once forgot to put God in one of the Galaxy Tales chapters. :-)
The haunting may grow old very quickly, like De Rosa's constant itching/scratching.
1,175 2020-01-12 20:43:16
Re: The Gathering Darkness (the Connor series) - Dirk B. (1,415 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Oops. Totally forgot that two exorcists are supposed to be shadowing Connor to protect him. I figured one on duty and another off duty. I managed to slip one in without adding to the character count (e.g., the soccer game referee is also the exorcist). In the Holy Land, the tour guide can double as an exorcist, so I don't have to add yet another priest to Connor's SUV.