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Just trying to add a little description.

Thanks
Dirk

The Exorcist!

Nuts. My scene about the orphans visiting St. Peter's Basilica is falling apart. The basilica and a Papal Mass are much more complicated than I had expected. Also, the city of Rome surrounding the basilica doesn't have the features I was hoping for. I was hoping to find an overpass nearby for Connor's next miracle. Failing that, a bridge over the Tiber River. They have the latter, but it's a hike to get there. A bit much for the younger orphans who are supposed to be in this scene. Also, there's no good excuse for going there. There's a castle there, but I don't want to dedicate page space for the boys to tour it.

Lake-Ellen returns? Cool. I better pick up my pace in Terrorcruise so I'm ready for her next sojourn. Thank you for your feedback.

Yes, that's the intent, but without hitting the reader over the head with it. I think even Catholic readers would get bored if I stop to show it every time it happens.

For the crossing/formula, my preference would be to show it a few times up front, then phase it out, then bring it back from time to time when I want to emphasize it. The feedback I got in chapter one when I tried to have Connor do it exactly as he should was to show it once (i.e., before the first prayer), then make it go away as fast as possible (that readers would just get it). The feedback I got when I tried to have Romano note to himself that that's how Connor always does it was even more negative, although that's probably ideal, but I have yet to come up with acceptable wording. I'll throw up an example tomorrow.

A more generic example would be saluting in a military story. If someone salutes their commander two or three times, would you assume they always do so even when not explicitly noted, or would you conclude the subordinate (or the author) forgot to do it. That's even more problematic if the person later salutes after getting chewed out for something unrelated.

I was wondering if I can get a few opinions on how to handle repetitive story elements such as bowing one's head to a cardinal or speaking the Trinitarian fornula (In nominee patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti. Amen.) every time one crosses oneself.

One example is my exorcism chapter. As written, Father Romano, Connor, and Father Luca don't explicitly bow their heads to Cardinal Nnamani when they approach him at the hospital. I left it as implied since both Romano and Connor have previously bowed their heads in his presence back at the orphanage and would do so again. However, as they enter the hospital room together, everyone inside (all new characters) rises and bows their heads. Since it's all one scene, it should probably be consistent for everyone, and I'm inclined to do it throughout the book (there aren't that many occurrences).

The other one is more tricky. It would grow very tiresome if I had someone explicitly verbalize the Trinitarian formula every time they cross themselves. It would be equally repetitive if I explicitly noted every time someone crosses themselves, including at the beginning and end of every prayer. I have yet to find a good way to communicate to the reader that when someone prays, many (not all) cross themselves before and after the prayer, and when they cross themselves, they often (not always) speak the formula, and some, like Connor, speak the formula in Latin.

In one of Seabrass's stories, he frequently notes the bells of the clock tower, even down to a quarter hour. I thought it was a little overdone (sorry, Charles), but I'm sure he had his reasons for his POV character noting the time. Also, his main character, Lake-Ellen, carries a wooden staff for defense, and he was pretty consistent in noting when she put it down or picked it up.

Thoughts?

Thanks
Dirk

My education in theology is limited but growing, especially Catholicism. I'm definitely not a priest, although I'm delighted that you might think so. My last book was a space opera that focused on mental illness and a religion called the Christian Heresy. My current book includes elements inspired by Star Wars (the Force) and, oddly enough, the old Angel vampire TV series (I have characters named Connor and Michael(Angelo)). No actual vampires in my book but plenty of Catholic demons. It's set in Rome, the Vatican, and the Holy Land.

Welcome, Marius. You're on the right site and in one of the most active forums. Although it is technically possible to have work plagiarized, I haven't heard of it happening on this site. A copyright notice automatically appears in each chapter you post. Be sure not to post to the internet, then your work will only be visible on the site.

If you check out the posts in this forum, you'll see brainstorming threads for fantasy, science fiction, a supernatural thriller (mine), and heaven knows what else. We gathered here long ago because other forums aren't as active.

I look forward to reading your work. Please check out the content summary of my book, Saving Connor, to see if it's something you might be interested in. Just click on my username and it will take you to my profile page, where you'll find my book.

Dirk

I'm following the rules of Catholicism as closely as I can. They take this stuff very seriously, so I don't want to stray from their rules unless I really have to. I can fix the issue with Connor and the reverend mother easily enough, so I don't need to make stuff up. I'm also trying to create a realistic picture of Rome, the Vatican, and the Holy Land. I spent a year doing research for this trilogy so that I can get it right. No sense stopping now
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Celsius. Edmonton, about three hours north of Calgary, is forecast to be the coldest place on Earth this coming week. :-)

Weather forecast for Calgary calls for a high of -27 degrees later this week. I remember now why I hate the Prairies.