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Woohoo! I topped 1000 points. Time write something.

I had to edit the chapter anyway to get rid of the exploding head. I'm going to save that for the last demon in the book. Adding new Level V armor took just a few sentences.

Moving on to rewrite the Vatican Briefing...
Dirk

I'm debating creating a fictitious new level 5 body armor that allows the police officers shot in chapter six to shake off the shotgun blasts to their bodies. They do that now, but it's unrealistic since even level 4 armor would result in a hospital stay if hit by a shotgun.

The other option is to add five more tactical officers to the villa search, holding them in reserve outside the villa in case more officers are needed inside, such as when the first two officers get shot.

Interesting timing. I just reached a point in Winds of Dune where Paul explains to his mother about his visions and the reasons for the Jihad. He tells her that he became trapped by his visions the moment he became Maud'dib in the desert after their flight from the Harkonnens. Had he died before then, the events never would have happened, but then there would have been no saving humanity with Leto's Golden Path in the distant future.

Kdot, when you get a chance, please have a look at the chapter six for me. The first scene follows the original chapter structure, albeit with different facts, some of which you may find useful. The second scene seems problematic because there aren't enough cops present (IMO) to search a villa for four hard-to-kill murderers. Only eight tactical cops + the inspectors enter the house. Two of the cops are shot at close range with shotgun blasts against enhanced armor. Technically, that should put them in the hospital for a week, but they simply shake it off and keep searching. I tried adding an extra five tactical officers, but it required a lot of coordination that weighed down the scene. Be curious as to your thoughts.

FYI, I added new material at the end of chapter four to make demons growing bodies from DNA seem more credible, which is something Ray was looking for. I rely on it going forward as the actual explanation for demons with physical bodies, which is all made up bullshit.

Thanks
Dirk

Woohoo! Revised chapter six is up (the murder investigation). This is a heavily revised version of this chapter, including an additional second scene. The first half is shorter, and includes the new cause of death, the analysis of the demon's remains, and different video footage. I also moved the results of the autopsy from chapter eight to here, to speed up the story.

The second scene is probably going to cost me my PG-13 rating.

Quick, go read.
Dirk

What browser do you use, Jack? I use Google Chrome. Also, what format do you save your Word documents in? I use the default (.docx).

Jack, what version of Word are you using? I've rarely had problems with Word 2007 and, more recently, Word 2019. For what it's worth, I use CTRL-V to paste my Word content directly into the TNBW text field. If I'm editing an existing chapter, I use CTRL-A, then CTRL-V. I never use the popup window.

$40 for the hardcover version of Dune rereleased to coincide with the movie. Yikes! The last time I paid serious money for hardcover fiction was the ending to the nine book cycle in Star Wars that killed off Jacen Solo. Pretty much the same character arc as Kylo Ren. Good kid turns to the dark side and is redeemed at death. I was kind of hoping they wouldn't kill Jacen since it would have been much more interesting to follow his path back into society after having killed millions. If they had done that, I might have kept reading SW books. As is, I stopped after that book.

I was searching for more info on the new Dune trilogy and stumbled on versions of the Dune saga in French, Spanish, and German. Milking that franchise had got to be a full-time job. They should hire Kathleen Kennedy, whose contract at Lucasfilm is due to expire in a few years. What producer would green light the final trilogy of the Skywalker Saga without enough of an outline to steer the damn story? Granted the Emperor's return was great, but it was an asspull of epic proportions.

Forget my earlier comment about the dark figure not needing to turn into fog. I forgot he's putting on a show for the security cameras, plus there's the fog that attacks Connor in the chapel.

Revised chapter 4 (the start of the investigation) is up for points.

Brainstorming assistance, please. In my revised detective scenes, I'll have a number of demons. They can function in one of several ways:
a) by possessing an ordinary human (appears in the Bible and in my Exorcism chapter)
b) by appearing in a human (but non-corporeal) form (angels do this in the Bible, although demons can do it too)
c) by animating a recently dead body (written about by theologians in Church history speculating about sex between humans and demons)
d) by growing a new body by sampling dead tissue. I think I made this one up, but can't remember anymore.

Of those four ways, most of my demons will be based on type d (sampling dead tissue). When they abandon their physical bodies, they revert to ghostly apparitions (spirits) and their demonic bodies dissolve. I doubt I'll have use for types b and c. I mention them in the new scene 1.4 for completeness sake.

I do, however, have need for an even more powerful demonic form, namely one who can shapeshift. This would be restricted to Satan alone, the most powerful of all demons. He has a physical body (type d), but he's not limited to just one shape. If he wants, he can convert from one human form to another at will. I'm thinking of explaining this by saying he can edit his body's DNA and thereby change shape. It requires great power, which is why he's the only one who can do it.

Thoughts?

Thanks
Dirk