Just a quick note to let everyone know I haven't abandoned your stories. I fell ill recently and am being tested for Covid tomorrow. Unless there's a relapse, I'm over the worst of it. Will try to catch up on reviews soon.
Thanks for your patience.
Dirk
Thanks, NJC, but the bad press leaves me unwilling to try it. I read an article tonight that suggests Naproxen has antiviral effects, as opposed to Ibuprofen, which we're supposed to avoid, both based on limited evidence, of course. I appreciate the suggestion.
As if my writing wasn't going slowly enough, I appear to have caught Covid in spite of having practically shut myself off from the world. There are practically no cases of this stupid disease in Calgary when compared to the total population count, and I still got it. If the early studies are correct, that having this disease doesn't confer long immunity, we are in for one hell of a decade. A recent camp outing of hundreds of kids under somewhat careless conditions ended up giving the disease to almost half of them in just a few days. How does one reopen schools with a virus like that? Say goodbye to eat-in restaurants, bars, cruises, air travel, gyms, cramped stores, etc.
Congratulations, Bobbie. Well earned recognition.
Oh, I don't know. I would have loved to have had interludes fleshing out the past of the universe he created even in book one. Instead, we have the prequels/sequels by his son, whose characters I rarely warmed up to. Admittedly, I doubt Frank Herbert would have written 13 more novels (and counting) in the Dune universe. I suppose I should be grateful there is a Dune franchise at all, given that FH died before he could finish book seven. There are a lot of people who would pay good money to see the notes he left behind for that book.
I moved on to God Emperor of Dune. Still as enjoyable as I remember. Surprisingly, Frank Herbert used a lot of summaries of history for those not familiar with the first three books. Most notably, a report within the Bene Gessirit that provides an "update" on every aspect of the Dune universe and how it changed over 3500 years. A number of writers on this site would have told him to get rid of it and work it into the story as it goes along. Personally, I like the report. Kind of like my Galactipedia articles.
Also, you should make the old chapter (v1) inactive, otherwise both versions will show up in the chapter pick list.
When you add the new chapter from inside the wizard, you can reuse the same chapter number, but you need to increment the version number.
Oh, actually it was five novels. Explains why I haven't written anything in a while.
Okay. Four Dune novels is enough for now. Back to writing...
Almost finished with Children of Dune. Not soon enough. The plot is good, but for a very smart man, Frank Herbert couldn't communicate his advanced concepts to be understood no matter how many times I read them. I found myself skimming after too many attempts to understand his prattle about prescience and time, including his attempt to describe it mathematically. Add philosophy, religion, politics, and genetics, mix them all together, and it's a mess. No wonder I haven't read this book in a long time. As Last Jessica said once, when religion and politics ride in the same cart, the whirlwind follows. I did however discover that Paul never saw the extinction of humans in his partial visions for the Golden Path. I thought in Dune Messiah that that's what he was fighting with his Jihad.
> Did I thank you for all your reviews?
Of course you did. Your folks done did raise you right. I saw your monster posts of War & Peace. Still looking for time to review chapter 2 to do it justice. What's your deadline?
Thanks
Dirk
Big disconnect between Winds of Dune (which follows Dune Messiah in the timeline) and Children of Dune, which was Frank Herbert's original sequel to Messiah. In Winds of Dune, Jessica breaks with the Bene Gessirit in a way that seemed irreparable. They tried to destroy her using "guilt-casting", which leaves the victim to suffer severe and irreparable mental suffering in the form of feelings of crippling guilt. Yet, in Children of Dune she returns to Dune at the urging of the Sisterhood to investigate Alia's fall to the Baron's inner presence, and to test Paul's children for the same form of abomination. If I remember correctly, her tests of young Leto (force feeding him spice) actually forces him to merge with a powerful ruler from the distant past to avoid his mind being overthrown by the personalities in Other Memory.
Welcome, Julian. Mysteries & Thrillers is relatively inactive as forums go. The best forum to say hello and introduce yourself and your work is in Premium. Next to that, Medieval/Fantasy Magic is a diverse mix of writers, including me (writing a supernatural thriller). Others there write fantasy and sci-fi in spite of the legacy group name. Each long term member of the group usually has a long-running brainstorming thread in that group's forum, where we exchange ideas. Mine remains the most active, called The Lord of the Earth. Ignore most of the first ten pages; it was mostly me going insane trying to find an unused title for my series. I also post comments there about books I'm reading (working my way through the Dune universe) and critiquing plot holes in Gilligan's Island episodes. :-)
If you don't think you'll have a need for a brainstorming thread, you can still post your mystery/thriller stories in this group (it's one way for people to find it), but be sure to cross-post to Premium, as that's where most of the users are. For writing or site questions of virtually any type, you can try your brainstorming thread, or post it to the Premium forum. The latter will probably result in the fastest and most complete responses.
Again, welcome!
Dirk
Woohoo! I topped 1000 points. Time write something.
I'm (mostly) enjoying Children of Dune so far. Haven't read it in years. I wouldn't be surprised if there are college courses on how to interpret the Dune books.
I had to edit the chapter anyway to get rid of the exploding head. I'm going to save that for the last demon in the book. Adding new Level V armor took just a few sentences.
Moving on to rewrite the Vatican Briefing...
Dirk
Currently, the shootout between cops and demons is unrealistic. Even the best available body armor can't stop a shotgun blast from causing serious injury. In my current draft, they just get up and continue the search. So I either add more cops or better armor. I tried adding more cops, but it became overly complicated, so I figured give them some new body armor that protects against shotgun blasts.
I'm debating creating a fictitious new level 5 body armor that allows the police officers shot in chapter six to shake off the shotgun blasts to their bodies. They do that now, but it's unrealistic since even level 4 armor would result in a hospital stay if hit by a shotgun.
The other option is to add five more tactical officers to the villa search, holding them in reserve outside the villa in case more officers are needed inside, such as when the first two officers get shot.
This is the new explanation for demons in physical form. I think readers will buy this until the theory is proven conclusively at the villa.
Campagna and De Rosa walked to the dead man’s remains.
“What on earth was that?” she wondered aloud.
De Rosa nudged some of the tissue with his shoe. “You saw the red eyes and the thing that came out of him?”
She nodded.
“My guess is this creature was a demon that had taken on physical form.”
“You mean he was possessed?” one of the constables asked.
“No, if he’d been possessed, the human body would still be intact after the demon fled.”
“But demons have no physical bodies,” Campagna said. “I always understood spirits — angels and demons — could look like humans but have no substance.”
“That’s true in some cases. However, we know from the Book of Revelation that demons can assume physical form, namely of locusts with scorpion-like tails. What, then, is there to stop them from assuming the physical form of humans? I have a morbid curiosity about the subject and have been reading newly released documents from the Vatican Apostolic Archive. There are countless reports over the centuries from credible witnesses — clergy, law enforcement, doctors — encountering demons who have taken on the physical form of recently buried dead bodies. Most seem to be associated with graves that weren’t deep enough or had been disturbed, perhaps by graverobbers. The most likely explanation is that demons can grow bodies from DNA, which would cause them to look like the deceased.
“I’m not sure I buy your theory, but I don’t have a better one right now,” Campagna said.
Interesting timing. I just reached a point in Winds of Dune where Paul explains to his mother about his visions and the reasons for the Jihad. He tells her that he became trapped by his visions the moment he became Maud'dib in the desert after their flight from the Harkonnens. Had he died before then, the events never would have happened, but then there would have been no saving humanity with Leto's Golden Path in the distant future.
De Rosa doesn't dwell on the internal motives of the plainclothes cop. Campagna notices him sitting across the street watching the second villa (their target). She was the one who requested he be there at the end of chapter 6, scene 1, while she was on the phone.
Kdot, when you get a chance, please have a look at the chapter six for me. The first scene follows the original chapter structure, albeit with different facts, some of which you may find useful. The second scene seems problematic because there aren't enough cops present (IMO) to search a villa for four hard-to-kill murderers. Only eight tactical cops + the inspectors enter the house. Two of the cops are shot at close range with shotgun blasts against enhanced armor. Technically, that should put them in the hospital for a week, but they simply shake it off and keep searching. I tried adding an extra five tactical officers, but it required a lot of coordination that weighed down the scene. Be curious as to your thoughts.
FYI, I added new material at the end of chapter four to make demons growing bodies from DNA seem more credible, which is something Ray was looking for. I rely on it going forward as the actual explanation for demons with physical bodies, which is all made up bullshit.
Thanks
Dirk
I must admit, I'm enjoying Winds of Dune, which follows Dune Messiah in the timeline, except for flashbacks to Paul's youth and the middle years of the Jihad. I thought the flashbacks to Paul's youth were going to be crap, like in Paul of Dune, but they actually fit the bigger story very well so far. A lot more of the original characters in Winds of Dune, including Lady Jessica. The book was originally going to be called Jessica of Dune.
I also finally found an answer online as to why Paul started/allowed the Jihad. Once he passed a certain point in the original Dune story, teaching the oppressed Fremen how to defeat the Harkonnens and the Saurdukar, there was no stopping them. Paul had become their long-awaited Messiah. Even if he died, it would have continued in his name. He used it to fulfill his "terrible purpose", which was to reinvigorate the stagnant gene pool that had developed over thousands of years of relative peace in the Empire. The best way humans know how to do that is through fanatical bloody warfare. His son, Leto, the God Emperor of Dune, built on this, leading to the Golden Path, which scattered mankind across the universe and bred them so they couldn't be seen by enemies using prescience, assuring mankind's survival.
Woohoo! Revised chapter six is up (the murder investigation). This is a heavily revised version of this chapter, including an additional second scene. The first half is shorter, and includes the new cause of death, the analysis of the demon's remains, and different video footage. I also moved the results of the autopsy from chapter eight to here, to speed up the story.
The second scene is probably going to cost me my PG-13 rating.
Quick, go read.
Dirk
