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Anyone old enough to remember thalidomide? Also thought to be harmless. Just sayin...

I write my narrative the way we would naturally tell a story. No words are banned, although I try to mix it up a little. Don't get me started on "stand up" and "sit down". I use them quite freely.

JL Mo, have you tried submitting the erroneous review? Since we can do multiple reviews for any piece of work, it should disappear from your list when you submit. You can add a note at the top of the review telling the author to ignore it - that you're trying to clear a bug.

OCD 2.

Besides the added points for reading longer chapters, you also have to consider the quality of the reviews given versus received. I gladly read more from those authors whose reviews are the most helpful to me. I'll read two or three chapters of their work for each chapter of mine they read. It's not because they expect it, but great reviewers are in demand, and I want to hang onto mine. Usually, the best reviewers are also the best writers, so I learn from reading their work.

njc, did the site seem sluggish while you were entering comments? Hammering the submit button when the site is taking too long to save the comments can cause the count to go way up. Double and triple-clicking is also very therapeutic. :-)

I suggest contacting the editors listed in this thread (Janet, Laura, etc.) and see if they'll do a sample edit, as Vern suggested. If they don't, you'll have to decide whether to pay to try them out. I chose to pay two editors to edit my first few chapters and was happy with the result. I think I paid $50 for one of them to edit 10K words. The feedback, although encouraging, convinced me I had to start over. :-) I'm glad I tried them out. If you want to cast a wider net, do a few keyword searches online for editors. Also, post your request to Premium if you can. I'm not sure how many paying members are still a part of the Basic group and reading this thread.

I try to shoot for 10-12 double-spaced pages, which seems to be equal to my own attention span when reading. :-)  Here on the site that's around 1.5 to 2.0 points for the reviewer. I dislike reading/reviewing very long chapters because I usually can't do it all in one sitting. Life intrudes.

Welcome back, Danielle. I noticed you haven't posted anything yet for us to read. Hint. ;-)

Personally, I like it. It is definitely very poetic. The pace reminds me of Lord of the Rings, which didn't rush from hook to hook. Admittedly, the opening scenes (backstory) of the movie adaptation of The Fellowship of the Ring was an EPIC hook, after which the story assumed a more relaxed pace to introduce key characters and setting. It's the reason my chapter one is tension/action. It gives some backstory and characters relevant to Joseph and Apollo, and then allows me to take a breather in chapter two and introduce the MCs. FYI, Admiral Windsor will probably end up in Joseph's head in the next draft, so there's the continuity you were asking for.

My favorite opening to your books would still be something like "Master Kha was dying and he knew it." Then give some backstory from his POV that explains at least a little of what happened (the more tension/action, the better, IMO). Then take us forward into the story.

Where does the ad appear, JP? Just curious.

First day of French class, the teacher tells us there's only one rule in French that doesn't have an exception, and this is it.

It remains to be seen how well I'm handling withholding of information. Two of my characters share a secret and pretend that they don't. And I don't want the reader to even know there is a secret. It's tricky trying to write the scenes when they're together while the POV character isn't thinking about the secret. So far only one of my readers has stumbled upon the fact that something's not right.

Oh, please. Any psychotic can get themselves locked up for days in a rubber room. But grabbing a chainsaw and chasing after the world's most powerful lightning, now that's fiction worthy of Lady Kay.