Sol, is there a way to make it possible to see a work between submission and publishing, so that you can see if something's gone wrong with formatting?  Maybe allow the View button on the publish page for the work in question?

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(73 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

This isn't script formula.  Yes, there's some large-scale plot and pacing advice but that's a small part of a big picture.

Item six in his big 13:  It's very hard to get audiences to care about any hero because they care about being hurt.

Every time I watch Jackson's =Return Of The King= there comes a moment, about two minutes after the cold open, when I ask myself if I really want to ride this emotional roller coaster again.

Better yet would be a checkbox on the page saying 'show all unread'.

1,129

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Amy, per your comments on Melayne amd her daughter I am going to see if I can do a sequence where Melayne is somehow learning, step by step, what her daughter is up to and is alternately horrifed by and horrified for her daughter.

Merran is, I think, still Daddy's little girl, and waiting for him to be freed will eventually wear on her.  Both her parents have trained her in 'you broke it, you bought it' as a basic part of the sorcerer's ethos.

With meat sauce.

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(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I'm not sure you need multiple chapters.  It may just be the ordering and progression of the reveals.

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(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I'll give it a shot later, though I can't offer you a steady stream of my new stuff.  My initial thought on it is that you've got a lot of world to introduce for someone who picks this off the shelf.

1,133

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I have about 2200 words for a short on-the-road chapter between Maurand and the Garden of End and Beginning.  It's draft zero.  I'll type it up after I get some sleep and see how it looks.  If it doesn't look too bad you may see it w/in24 hpurs.

I think the humor of Alda's shaggy search is also important to character and the relationship between Jaylene and Alda.

I hate to name something you're justly proud of but the parts that seem to contribute the least are Zylph and the Antlion.  Can you compress those?

Amy took that battle painting out, didn't she?  I think that was a mistake.  What would Alda think about it, looking up.at the ceiling and thinking of that roof she might have to clean?

1,136

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Always and ever.  I haven't put much up lately, but there are two incomplete storylines in B2 as well as the far-future chapters at the end of each book.

Have you done the Kirsey-Visits-His-Old-Master chapter?  Nobody's gotten the puzzle yet, and I'm giving a hint now: "in position and possessions".

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(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I'm just guessing here, but is your favorite mystery And Then There Were None?

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(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

One review done.

Scene idea works, I think, but I need to look for simplificatipns.

"Simplicate and add Lightness."
"Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is notthing left to take away."

1,139

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Whilst struggling with framing and voice on Count Lundersot's little adventure, I got ideas for a scene and an episode between Maurand's home and the GoEaB.  Let's see what I can do tonight.

I should do a couple of reviews after.

Caught up with Chap's 2-5 of Randy's Dangerous Alliance.

I'm still working with The Secret of Story.  What's it like?  Well ...

Maybe the best book on the Vietnam war as a whole is Harry G. Summer's On Strategy: A Critical Analysis of the Vietnam War.  Col. Summers was given the job of making sense of several stack-feet of studies on the war, none of which could be woven into a coherent whole.  The US Army was recovering with a 'back to basics' movement, and one of Summer's lunch buddies suggested that he read von Clausewitz.  With nothing better to try, Summers began to read On War.  From the first page, from von Clausewitz's first step of logic ("The subject of war is divided into preparation for war and the conduct of war proper") Summers found errors the US made--and that continued on page after page.  In order to lose Viet Nam, the USA had to reject every principle in von Clausewitz's book ... and they did.

That's how I feel reading The Secrets of Story.  I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking and re-thinking.  Not that I'm doing everything wrong--I've got a few things surprisingly right.  Just not enough things, right enough.

What most drivers seem to be driving when they make right turns.  Clear the traffic lane, golsporkenframmitzunn!

Amy, let us know what you think of the editor's advice.

Norm d'Plume wrote:

I hate driving downtown. It's like my first few trips on the NJ Garden State Parkway in rush hour. Grab your balls...

Wrong remedy.  It'll frag both your situational awareness and your reaction time.

The first thing about driving in traffic, any, at speed any, is to realize that everyone ont the road is trying to go or stop someplace, and that they have different strategies and tactics for doing it.  If you watch other drivers with that as your base assumption, you'll see some plausible sense in what they are doing.

Some drivers are stupid, some are selfish, some are both, and selfish and stupid both translate into 'negative sum'--they get less from screwing you than you lose.

With that in mind:

Try not to force other drivers to react to you.  You give them the chance to make a costly mistake.

When you must violate the previous principle, let your movements leave them one very good choice and one obviously stupid choice, and be ready for the 2.6% who will choose the stupid choice.

Don't trap other drivers unless it's clear they are going to trap you.  Then let them escape as soon as it is safe to do so--and they have a better escape than trapping you.

And for heaven's sake, move briskly and soon whenthe light goes green.  Each time you make 12 extra people wait 90 seconds for the next light, you have p*ssed away 18 minutes of human life--other people's life, time which is lost to them forever.

And do what else you can to get other people through the light behind you.  For the reason given above, and because if you screw them, they are more likely to cut you off, trap them, or ride six  inches from your bumper.

More advice later, maybe, when I've got a real keyboard.

Had distractions. Was trying to get a demo box with my flasher circuit working for one family confab.  I finished Test Article 4, finding an interesting and possibly useful failure mode along the way.  Useful, that is, once I fully understand it.  I bought some materials for working with Surface Mount devices and got to the point where I could solder the beasties (that's 2.5mm x 2.7mm x 3.2mm) well enough, then started to assemble the final board.

And hit a failure mode that has me flummoxed.  I need to spend serious time trying to figure it out.  There'll probably be a Blinding Flash of the Obvious at some point.  And I haven't begun cutting the openings in the housing for it.  That's the sort of careful work I usually muff.

Meanwhile, I learned a new word just when I needed it.  Well, a new phrase: "false document".  It means a work (eg. a book) that exists only as a name within a work of fiction.  Like an Encyclopedia Galactica, or Fleetrow's Guide to the Universe.  Or The True and Complete Record of the Instructive Adventures of the Daring and Sagacious Count Hulhausen Lundersot, And of His Life and Times.  Only, as you know, I am trying to put a bit of that fictional work, complete with the Count's own recounting, and the sorcero-cinematic-virtual-reality experience thereof, into my own work of fiction.  (Maybe in another fragment, I could have the Count peruse a copy of one volume of the supposedly apocryphal Sorcerer's Progress.  Only I'm not sure my cheek is large enough for that kind of tongue.)

I spend Wednesday eve reading a trade paper copy of The Secrets of Story.  I recommend it HIGHLY to everyone here.  It is a rapid-fire discharge of Blinding Flashes of the Obvious, complete with stunning afterimages thereof.

I'll be visiting my brother for a few days starting 12/10.

I'm way behind in reviews as well as in work.  Amy and Rebecca, you should expect reviews within about 20 hours.  Oh, and Amy, I think you used tomato sauce before.  Just remember that the tomato is a New World plant.

Now for some rest.

I'm a courtesy member and I've fallen behind.  While I'm grateful for reviews, I'm in no position to insist.

http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/ar … ot-so-good and read the comments.

1,148

(73 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

I just spent an evening reading The Secrets of Story by Matt Bird.  It was a very well spent evening, and money well spent on the trade paper edition.

It's not about rules but tools, and ... beliefs.  I'm reminded of what the Thomist scholar said of Chesterton's biography of the Angelic Doctor: "He has guessed all that which we had tried to demonstrate, and he has said all that which they were more or less clumsily attempting to express in academic formulas."

A few of my regular reviewees are probably past the stage for this book, but if I paint your work blue with comments, you may need this book as much as I do.  It explains what and why with specific examples of how to connect with the reader, how to affect and reward the reader for choosing your story.

Also, if you are looking for reciprocal review relationships, it helps to post in groups that use points.  You might also look for stories similar in style or subject and do a few reviews on them (collecting the points) to see if you can drum up recip relationships.

1,150

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

4017 - 15 years, 4017 - 12 years ...