Had distractions. Was trying to get a demo box with my flasher circuit working for one family confab.  I finished Test Article 4, finding an interesting and possibly useful failure mode along the way.  Useful, that is, once I fully understand it.  I bought some materials for working with Surface Mount devices and got to the point where I could solder the beasties (that's 2.5mm x 2.7mm x 3.2mm) well enough, then started to assemble the final board.

And hit a failure mode that has me flummoxed.  I need to spend serious time trying to figure it out.  There'll probably be a Blinding Flash of the Obvious at some point.  And I haven't begun cutting the openings in the housing for it.  That's the sort of careful work I usually muff.

Meanwhile, I learned a new word just when I needed it.  Well, a new phrase: "false document".  It means a work (eg. a book) that exists only as a name within a work of fiction.  Like an Encyclopedia Galactica, or Fleetrow's Guide to the Universe.  Or The True and Complete Record of the Instructive Adventures of the Daring and Sagacious Count Hulhausen Lundersot, And of His Life and Times.  Only, as you know, I am trying to put a bit of that fictional work, complete with the Count's own recounting, and the sorcero-cinematic-virtual-reality experience thereof, into my own work of fiction.  (Maybe in another fragment, I could have the Count peruse a copy of one volume of the supposedly apocryphal Sorcerer's Progress.  Only I'm not sure my cheek is large enough for that kind of tongue.)

I spend Wednesday eve reading a trade paper copy of The Secrets of Story.  I recommend it HIGHLY to everyone here.  It is a rapid-fire discharge of Blinding Flashes of the Obvious, complete with stunning afterimages thereof.

I'll be visiting my brother for a few days starting 12/10.

I'm way behind in reviews as well as in work.  Amy and Rebecca, you should expect reviews within about 20 hours.  Oh, and Amy, I think you used tomato sauce before.  Just remember that the tomato is a New World plant.

Now for some rest.

I'm a courtesy member and I've fallen behind.  While I'm grateful for reviews, I'm in no position to insist.

http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/ar … ot-so-good and read the comments.

1,154

(73 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

I just spent an evening reading The Secrets of Story by Matt Bird.  It was a very well spent evening, and money well spent on the trade paper edition.

It's not about rules but tools, and ... beliefs.  I'm reminded of what the Thomist scholar said of Chesterton's biography of the Angelic Doctor: "He has guessed all that which we had tried to demonstrate, and he has said all that which they were more or less clumsily attempting to express in academic formulas."

A few of my regular reviewees are probably past the stage for this book, but if I paint your work blue with comments, you may need this book as much as I do.  It explains what and why with specific examples of how to connect with the reader, how to affect and reward the reader for choosing your story.

Also, if you are looking for reciprocal review relationships, it helps to post in groups that use points.  You might also look for stories similar in style or subject and do a few reviews on them (collecting the points) to see if you can drum up recip relationships.

1,156

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

4017 - 15 years, 4017 - 12 years ...

Politically Incorrect America

1,158

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Aargh!  Research!  How long to cook a whole, adult boar on a spit  to some kind of toothsomeness?  Answer: twelve to sixteen hours.  Good.  That's just what Count Lundersot's adventure needs.

1,159

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Use s solid backgound in a color that seems to blend into your cover.

Ch 16 B2

And I am stingy with connections.  They can pile other people's clutter on my home page.

I'm always up for a review.  There's  that fractional near-porn chapter I put up a while ago ...

The key is the definition of 'publish'.  Submiting a work to a closed community for critique should not fall under the definition.

Others have investigated this, and found that things are visible.  Kdot made a particular study of it.

Not published.  Workshopped.

And when you 'publish' the parts of the work to make it visibe, you must NOT publish 'to the whole web',  or you'll be exposing it ro non-members, which would make it available to anyone, without restriction (i.e. freely).

I don't think money is the issue.  This is free-as-in-speech, not free-as-in-beer.

But membership in TNBW includes an agreement to respect copyright.  The key is that the work is available to members, but NOT to everyone on the web.  If it is available to everyone on the web, then it's been released publicly, not to a private, copyright-respecting group.

1,166

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Of course there are hard parts too ... sad

1,167

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I'm working now on another of Merran's virtual reality spell experiences, and will put it in the same chapter (and repub) when done.  This will be a short episode from Being the Record of the Instructive Adventures of the Daring and Sagacious Count Hulhausen Lundersot, and of His Life and Times (short name The Instructive Adventures of the Daring Count Hulhausen Lundersot).

I'm having far too much fun with this one.

1,168

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You could also make the ground they're standing on into the page of a book, perhaps overlaid with a translucent background.  (Use the text from some non-spoiling part of your book 1, so you don't run into copyright issues.

1,169

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You could also move the series identity above the author name ....

I'm always open to reviews on my very rough and incomplete work.

1,170

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Here's the last suggestion.  (Of course, the thing is becoming more and more a cut-up mess.)
http://i1065.photobucket.com/albums/u394/njGreybeard/Master-of-Books-III_zpsozysenrq.png

1,171

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Had some ideas about story threads from B2 through B4 or 5.  I'll be mulling these over the next couple of weeks.

1,172

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Use your original open font and put 'Master' over Tommy's lower legs.

1,173

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Split 'of the' and let Tommy's head fit close between them.

1,174

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Doesn't sound like quite the right thing, since my sorcery is a means to the story, not the story proper.

1,175

(87 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

The curvature in the ground is a side-effect of the clumsy piecewise perspective transforms.

Unbar, is this the same artist you used for the other cover?

One thing you might do is leave Tommy a bit smaller, but keep him close to the viewer (no space under him) and have him looking up to the threat.