Stalling isn't the sort of accomplishment I prize.
When concrete turns that yellow tan that's not quite brown and dirtier than dirt ... what do you call that hue?
Stalling isn't the sort of accomplishment I prize.
When concrete turns that yellow tan that's not quite brown and dirtier than dirt ... what do you call that hue?
Amy, please understand that my slow pace now is due to your insistence on D-E-S-C-R-I-P-T-I-O-N.
NJC runs screaming in random zigzags, leaving several NJC-shaped Looney-Tunes holes in the walls as he passes heedlessly through them.
Canada has the world's longest coastline and no means to defend it. ![]()
I'm more afraid of Hillary converting her successes in the Middle East into worldwide conflagrations. I wonder how those abandoned anthracite mines will do as fallout shelters.
Loose slax
When you can't answer an argument, you mock.
I'm behind on reviews. I'll do a batch tonight and tomorrow.
Now try identifying your potag first. These men are the great obstacles/dangers she must overcome.
Hmmm. What happens if you drop all the proper nouns NOT linked to your protag?
Finished reviewing CJD's Chapter 56.
Check out the battles near the end of Kate Paulk's =ConVent= and =ConSensual=, especially where the angels end up on the wrong side of things.
LOL, I'm SUPER glad I don't have to vote!
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Sometimes he writes so he can pull off Star Trek puns. The punier the better:-)
Don't you mean 'the punnier'?
No, I suppose you don't.
But Eduoard lit one of his little cigars and the establishment emptied. Madelaine was left, once again, with no companion but her glass of absinthe.
No. Pathos or bathos, let it all stand. Sometimes the comedy we act out is unintentional--and I was ragging Dirk, anyway.
What I said ![]()
Which story would you like me to review? Where would you like me to start?
Don't trifle, sir. If you value what you have to lose, trifle not with Amy!
I'm still not 100%, or even 95%. You may have noticed I've been catching up on owed reviews. I've also been working on edits for my last chapter, as well as a few non-writing things. And it finally occurred to me that Jamen will have some reaction to his failed attempt to kill the manticore-skinned Veethan. I'm thinking he will channel it into extra protectiveness toward the children, and maybe towards Merran.
I'll clarify some of what I said in my reply back to NJC as it's likely confusing without the background. I probably was vague enough so that NJC may not have known exactly what I was referring to either.
Toward the end of year 2014, I posted my first chapter and waited to see how it would go over in reviews. John Hamler, NJC, and a some others were the first reviews I received. Subsequent chapters I posted were only visited for continued reviews by NJC and a couple of others. But the common complaints were all the same, and no one had anything good to say--because there wasn't anything good to say.
Nonsense. You had imagination and a story to tell. Telling it, well, that was the next thing to work on.
I added a couple of notes and answers to the reviews.
To take up the question of introducing the science, I wonder if it could be presented in small amounts in the same way that other background is presented. Consider this:
((non-protagonist)) said, "I'm going shopping after lunch."
The big stores were in Lewisville, six miles up the county road--and two miles from the casino.
"Are you going to be gone long?"
Obviously I haven't read very far, but I'm guessing your mysterious diatoms are an existing species that transforms and helps to produce acid once the acid hits a certain level--or else an easy mutation from an existing species. This leads to another consideration, one that involves your title.
When the musical A Chorus Line went to tryouts, they found that a song fell flat--a song that they felt should have a great deal of force. They were giving the punchline away in the title. They found a new title that told the story, and left the punchline to the song.
The new title? Dance Ten, Looks Three. The original, punchline title? Tits And Ass.
The change worked. Audience reaction to the re-titled song was what they'd expected it to be in the first place.
Okay, an extreme example. But your main point is the pH change in the oceans. Your story appears to be one or more damaging species that creates a tipping point. (Again, I haven't read far enough to be sure.) I suggest finding a title that includes that species or event.
Even Atlas Shrugged, as unabashed a tract as you're likely to find, uses a title that maintains some distance from its thesis, by casting that thesis in a pseudo-mythological event.
As always in my reviews, In My Opinion and Your Mileage May Vary.
Forgot again! Okay, Chapters 1 and 2 of Alkemi's The Souring Seas.
Apology accepted, with gratitude.
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