The Bravo is for the whole sequence.
Now ... when Elston first appeared after Jaylene's resuurrection, Alda saw the blackness of anger within him. I have to doubt everything now, so I'm wondering if there's more than we understand to that blackness--or to that anger.
Janet, my wisecracker has been straining at its leash. Mostly it wants to mark its territory with hyperbole.
Amy will tell you that my first review of her Cop Shop contest piece came in eight parts, each about as long as the piece. Notice I said my 'first' review.
If the enemy can use Behira's Veil against Behira's forces, can that enemy also strip the Veil, to fuddle the forces? Or has Behira withdrawn it altogether so it cannot be used against her?
Has an enemy breached Asgaard?
You want to lay gound, but not to telegraph your punches.
Sil doesn't count? What about her big sex scene with Kha? And we've been told of the Founders.
This isn't a red shirt story. If someone dies, it will hurt. You'll know when it happens.
Amy, I looked at your changes. Bravo! I'll do a proper review after another four or five hours of sleep. My earlier comments stand on the unchanged parts.
KH, I just read your last reviews on Sylph. I'll say the same thing I would say about Shelob: this milieu is more than just setting. Leave her alone. Whether this develops fully as a Milieu Story or not, Sylph is as important to the story as the University President is to yours. Meaning you could put something else in her place, but the something else has to fit the place.
The University President couldn't be an old stoner whose conversation is interrupted by recurring fugue states. (Or maybe he could be, and maybe you'd like to take up the challenge, but it will be a distraction in the story.) So too Zylph must be a critter of the wierd. She doesn't have to be an ant colony. She could be a sentient slime mold or an eight-foot porcupine with blinding speed, but she has to crepulate us or horripilate us, or both.
Postscript: The Big Story Message is If these are our friends, what will we meet as enemies?
That doesn't ell us the exact timing of Kha's cleansing and Anver's playing host to a Founder (Anver's Foundering?) Does that mean that the exact timing is unimportant?
Condolences are inadequate. It must be so, yet I offer mine.
Okay, I've got the last part of Melayne's Void of Fire journey in place. Now I have to earn back the thirty or forty points I spent. And I have to get back to Erevain.
KH: I hope eventually to have journeys to all six Voids. At least one of them will require multiple people. I'm hoping for a cooperative ensemble on another, and maybe ... a battle either at a Void or around ... well, What happened then, Well that's the play ...
In the USA there's a technical difference. Prison is for felony terms. Jails are for the not-yet-convicted. The facilities used for misdemeanor terms may be either.
British English is my English mother tongue, since English is not my mother tongue ...
Does that make Commonwealth English your stepmother tongue?
The argument against spelling reform is that you lose history. I would never have remembered gaol but it's a good example.
Kha and Airen kill the thunderbird, Kha gets healed, Sil comes back as a crystal dragon, and Jaylene is resurrected. All happen at the same time. The Wolves potentiate each other. Alone, Kha can only change the immediate area. At that moment, Kha, Airen, and Jaylene were affecting the world's timeline.
Dirk, I have to get to a hot spot to publish the chapters 1-8. Will get it done by Sunday. Pinkie swear!
Crystal dragon?
Okay, but how is Anver's timeline linked? Or is it?
No pressure, but I'm suffering withdrawl from your story.
I'll remember that. But it will have to be designed in, not bolted on the side. Or worse, nailed on the side. With finishing nails.
I just got an email about a private message, but the message is not (yet) visible on either the home or messages page.
I'm wondering ... Kha's cleansing in Sil's power comes before or after Anver's staff gets to regrow?
It would be something if the whole titanic battle/campaign turned on Kha's unselfishness in returning Sil's power.
I don't believe I've mentioned that when Jaylene falls in Earthwound she feels Saundon's breath around her. Saundon seems, maybe, to be a good-guy-god. What's happening?
And Kha was supposed to die in his battle with Sil? By whose supposing? Instead, he's aligned with Behira, which he wasn't before. (Saundon before?) Wildcard? Joker? Or a major change on the board?
Excuse me! Kha killed a dragon. Granted, she came back as a woman and took to his bed, but whe was still a dragon.
That humankind is the most dangerous creature gives an air of deep truth to the story.
Just ... not while wearing a thong, please.
There's not enough fabric to call them panties. They're the Chevy Suburban of the G-string.
Group subscriptions are a limited resource. It wouldn't and shouldn't be -mine-. And many people already have threads in existing groups. (I suppose this argues for multiple-appearance threads.)
Connections clutter the writer's home page. Allowing the user to shut this off would help, though connections are still based on the writer rather than on the work. And, as Randall notes, this creates a closed discussion rather than an open one.
Hmm. Why can't that be hoisted to a top-level, everyone group? That would be the smallest of architectural change?
Of course allowing a 'soft link' or 'appearance' of such a thread in other groups would support people who ... nuts, I want to sit down over an Entity-Relationship diagram.
Meanwhile, I'll have a look. Thanks, Norm-D!
